


Odd-Job Tsuna

by ShamelessDilettante



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Adventure, Crack, Crack interspersed with random plot, Everyone get's a piece, Family, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Multi, Shit happens to Tsuna
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:03:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 92,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7635979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShamelessDilettante/pseuds/ShamelessDilettante
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsuna decides to get a job because he didn't want to be indebted to his father. Somehow, this leads to even more jobs and friends popping up in unexpected places. Tsuna can only blame his inability to refuse requests, but he'll never understand <em>why</em> he attracts trouble like a magnet. Includes: Many characters appearing randomly. Mostly Pre-Reborn, Post-Reborn at Ch.18</p>
<p>(Re-posted from fanfiction.net)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you've been through the KHR fandom on fanfiction.net then you'll recognise this story from https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10639657/1/Odd-Job-Tsuna. 
> 
> If not, enjoy!

It started when he was seven.

Now, Sawada Tsunayoshi wasn't the most active and wilful child, in fact, his bullies had almost beaten all of that out of him. Note, _almost_.

He'd recently learned that money was a necessity in living a relatively comfortable life. It was something his bullies aimed for, or at least used as an excuse to aim for, and it apparently was what paid for the roof above their heads and the food they ate every day.

It was also something you had to work for.

Tsuna might not be the brightest child but he knew his mother didn't work. His sweet mother mostly helped other people, volunteering for fairs or joining community groups. So when he asked, looking up with wide innocent eyes, he probably should have expected the answer he got.

"Your papa provides everything for us!" Nana declared, sighing dreamily at the thought of her husband.

Little Tsuna's eyebrows scrunched up as if he'd swallowed something bad. He wasn't as fanciful, just the opposite. He could barely recall the blond man who must have visited 2...3 years ago?

He certainly held no attachment to that man.

'So if I make more money than him, we can stop depending on him.' He thought to himself, leaving his mother to giggle at her own day dreams as he headed upstairs to his room.

And so that was how he decided to get a job.

It wasn't like he hated Iemitsu; after all, he barely knew the man. It was just his ingrained manners leaking through with the thought that he really didn't want to be indebted to a, well, stranger.

His first job was almost hilariously simplistic; his future self would have definitely attested to that fact. But for a seven year old child whom had whimsically decided to get a job, it was a daunting task.

"Ya want a job, kid?"

Tsuna nodded mutely, eyes wide as he stared at the bulky bald man with a goatee who had introduced himself as Brown-san. The man was very huge; made up of hard muscle that stretched his shirt taught that not even the cashier's apron could cover up.

"Okay, here." A trolley is placed next to the boy, the handle taller than him. Next, a bulk of newspapers is dumped inside, making the wheels squeak in protest. "One to each mail box in Namimori, got that?"

Tsuna squeaked at the gruff tone and nodded quickly. He grabbed the handle, dragging the heavy trolley as fast as he could, anything to get out of that scary place that smelled of smoke.

Needless to say, it took almost all day to deliver the papers all over Namimori. Several moments he'd lost track of the trolley as it rolled downhill, almost dragging him along. And in some instances, actually dragging him along screaming as he clutched onto the handle for dear life. He'd also been enlightened to the fact that dogs liked to chase fast things. Tsuna shuddered.

He'd learned that there was no point in dragging the trolley into small side roads and a complete waste of effort especially if it was on a hill after the first... dozen times he tried it. Instead, he counted the houses and took the appropriate number of papers with him in his small arms, leaving the trolley at the corner until he returned.

Returning with no less scratches and bruises than he would have had he gone to school, he was too tired to even muster up the strength to be scared of the gruff man. He barely registered a large hand patting him on the head or how he got home and safely in his bed.

'Never again...' Was his only thought as he collapsed onto his covers and into the blissful confines of sleep, clutching tightly to the envelope in his hands.

* * *

He was back the next day, blushing fitfully and glancing at the gruff man through his bangs as he took the trolley laden with newspapers. He bowed and scurried out before he could embarrass himself further.

He wasn't sure exactly why he was subjecting himself to this torture, it could have been his feeling of accomplishment -his first time ever feeling such an emotion!- as he woke that morning to find his paycheck in his hands, a decent amount that could possibly pay for several lunches in a week if need be. Or it could have been the note that was also inside the envelope:

_'Good work.'_

Tsuna did not recall ever receiving praise from someone aside from his mother and he'd stared at the note as it were the most alien thing in the world before it finally dawned on him.

He was being thanked.

Sure, it was a common thing to say to someone working but Tsuna had never received thanks for anything he'd done outside his home before; he'd always always been blamed in one way or another for messing up even though he'd tried his best. That was why he was Dame-Tsuna to the rest of his school after all.

Giddy with an emotion he'd never felt before his hugged the envelope and almost squealed with glee before dashing out of the house for his job.

* * *

The pattern continued throughout the summer holidays. Tsuna went to deliver papers every week day all over Namimori, returning battered and exhausted and with a paycheck clutched in his hands, the same gratifying words written on them each time that made him smile and feel warm despite the exhaustion.

Tsuna was glad for the hat that covered his conspicuous hair and blocked the sun's harsh rays and the fingerless leather gloves Brown-san had surreptitiously handed to him one night after discovering the blisters he'd gotten from dragging the cart around. They also made a suitable disguise for his school bullies and any gossiping mothers.

The hat he'd gotten from the strange man who owned the antique shop at the market place. He usually went there first, around 8 in the morning when less people were around and the stores were just beginning to open. Most people either ignored him, because he was just the paper delivery boy, or greeted him with a smile to which he would duck his head shyly. That man had actually talked to him, almost making him drop the newspaper he'd been sliding into the rather odd looking mailbox.

"You're working hard, but the sun is quite strong in the middle of the day, don't you think?"

Tsuna turned wide-eyed and shy as he took in the green yukata, white hair cropped at the chin, and the round glasses sitting upon the man's nose. He got a strange feeling from the man but nothing alarming.

The man crouched to his height, and plopped something over his head, obscuring Tsuna's view for a brief moment. "You can call me Kawahira, Tsunayoshi-kun." By the time Tsuna had lifted the newsboy cap, the man had already disappeared, leaving the boy to flail about in classic Tsuna panic mode over taking things without reason, until he spotted a bunch of boys from his class heading his way and he quickly pulled on the cap. They sidled past without so much as a glance sent his way.

The cap stayed with him and Tsuna swore it had some magical property or something because not a single bully had bothered him even though he made rounds to all the houses almost every day and had even made contact with some of them. All he got was a bored glance as their mothers cooed over how such a young boy was working already. Strangely, though Tsuna was sure some of those mothers should have recognised him as his mother's son, none of them even noticed, some even asking for his name to which he flushed, bowed politely, and made vague motions of continuing his job.

The job also allowed him to explore Namimori and learn all the land marks. He hadn't known there was a shrine up the tallest hill that had the best view over the town. Though he'd never seen anyone up there, the newspaper he slipped into the stone with a hole in the centre was always gone the next day. He hadn't known where so many of his classmates and teachers lived before, like Yamamoto Takeshi lived at the sushi store where the owner always offered a cheerful grin to Tsuna and thanked him for the paper, sometimes even offering a roll of sushi to the boy. He also, of course, took note of where the dogs with the loudest barks waited, always dashing up and shoving the paper in before running away, sometimes screaming and almost always tripping over his own feet.

It wasn't until nearly the end of the holidays that Tsuna realised that he was returning to the small store Brown-san owned earlier and earlier each day. He was also returning less exhausted, his body, unknown to him, getting used to the exercise and running he was doing. The gruff man had all sorts of cluttered material in his store but from what Tsuna could see, he mostly sold cigarettes, newspapers and magazines to the locals.

"Kid," the man addressed one day.

Tsuna, who was pushing the empty trolley back inside, looked behind him with questioning eyes.

"Ya've got school soon, right?"

Tsuna stilled and then nodded slowly. School was starting in little less than a week, he had long since given up on his summer homework since he didn't understand most of it and knew he'd be in trouble as soon as he got back. He knew he had to go, but he didn't really want to give up this job either, exhausting as it was.

But Tsuna also knew it wasn't possible to do both things at once.

Or so he'd resigned himself to until he heard a clatter.

Tsuna looked up and blinked at the bike in front of him, there was a basket at the front which also held a messenger bag. He dare not think it was for him. But the ridiculous image of the very large and muscular Brown-san riding the child-sized bike not only made him want to giggle, but let him know that it really was for him. Tsuna stared up with his wide brown eyes full of a child-like eagerness he hadn't displayed since starting school two years ago.

"Ya'd have to return to restock a few times but you should be able to finish it in the mornin's."

Tsuna felt himself grin and before he could stop himself, he found himself hugging the man. He felt too happy to be embarrassed and the large hand that hesitatingly rubbed his back only made him all the more elated.

* * *

And so that was his first stable paying job. Of course, learning to wake up ridiculously early just to deliver papers had been hard at first; Tsuna was definitely not a morning person, but his body eventually got used to it if only because he didn't want to disappoint Brown-san.

His next job, no matter how impromptu, kinda just roped him in. Tsuna had certainly not been looking for another job. Between school, bullies and newspaper delivering, every day was exhausting.

He'd been riding his bike through the rain, his messenger bag and raincoat flapping in the wind when he'd stopped in front of an ordinary house, pausing only long enough to slip the plastic covered newspaper into the slot. He was about to speed up when someone grabbed him.

"Stop!"

Tsuna, the person clutched around his waist and his bike all toppled over onto the wet ground. Tsuna groaned and sat up to stare at the red mop of hair on his chest. The other's head lifted and Tsuna realised it was a boy about his age with green eyes and skewed glasses.

The other child straightened his glasses and promptly turned red in embarrassment and started clutching his stomach. "S-sorry!" He stuttered. "I-I u-um-"

Tsuna, more concerned that the other was okay, quickly gave the other a look over, and sighed in relief at seeing no injuries. He also turned red as he shook his head. "I-its okay, y-you wanted something, right? His voice was soft, almost unheard over the sound of rain. He wasn't used to talking to others, especially children around his age.

"Ah! Y-yeah! I was wondering if I could um, find where you got that?" The red head pointed at the bike shakily.

Tsuna blinked in surprise. "You want to know where I got my bike?"

The other child turned red once again and shook his head. "I-I want to know where I can get the gear," he said, indicating the piece that was part of the bike's wheel. "It's has just the right pitch angle and teeth number I need as part of my project."

Tsuna stared and stared some more as the other started turning more red in embarrassment. Then he giggled, deciding that this person wouldn't hurt him. "I think I can take you where you need to go, um..."

"Irie Shōichi."

Tsuna smiled gently, not realising how he made the other stare at him. "Call me Tsuna, Irie-"

"Shōichi," the red head butt in uncharacteristically, he turned several shades darker than his hair as he squirmed uncomfortably on the wet concrete path. "U-um, since I get to call you by your first name."

Tsuna blushed too and nodded in acquiescence. He dragged the bike back up and put the scattered rolls of newspapers back into the basket with Shōichi's help. Then he managed to convince the other boy to climb on behind him as he went for the rest of his rounds and returned to the store.

Shōichi, the poor seven year old, was intimidated, to say the least, when he met Brown-san. He couldn't help staring at Tsuna in awe as the boy trudged in casually past the imposing man, pulling the bike with him and even tracking water all over the ground. Of course, Tsuna had already amazed the young inventor with his almost reckless bike riding. Shōichi was sure he'd never seen someone shove papers into mails boxes so fast, he supposed he should have been grateful that the other had even stopped at his house. He'd also heard some muttering about 'being late' and 'biting' but wasn't sure if he heard right through the rain.

Then he saw the inside of the shop.

Of course, the smell assaulted him first, of cigarette smoke and just below that was the scent of metal and oils and grease. Then, past the racks of magazines and newspapers was a narrow hall whose walls were absolutely covered from floor to ceiling with shelves containing parts; from screws and bolts to pistons and fans and well, it was an inventor's dreamland.

Tsuna watched with some degrees of amusement at Shōichi-kun's flabbergasted expression before he turned to Brown-san. "He said something about wanting a gear on my bike."

The man patted the brunet on the head and put a hand on the red head's shoulder. Shōichi jumped, a scared expression crossing his face again.

"Take whatever ya want, I got no use for all this junk."

The scared look retreated back into a stunned one. 'J-junk?!' He almost spluttered out loud. Tsuna couldn't help smiling as he grasped the red head's hand and led the way in. Truthfully, even he hadn't wondered this far back, seeing all the cluttered material as, well, junk.

He wasn't going to tell Shōichi that though.

The red head was still perusing, gasping and chattering to Tsuna enthusiastically about all this or that metal thing could do, doing a complete turnaround from his original shy personality. Tsuna couldn't help smiling as he drunk the hot cocoa Brown-san had given them. He hadn't ever gotten a chance to talk to people his age before, at least not without some threat involved, and though he had no clue what the other was saying, he was glad that the red head didn't seem to think he was too 'dame' to hang around.

Lost in this bliss, he didn't realise how much time had passed until he glanced at the clock and choked on his cocoa.

"HIIEEE! I'M LATE! HIBARI-SAN'SGOINGTOBITEMETODEATH! BYEBROWN-SANSHŌICHI-KUN...!" Tsuna's voice echoed in the store as he promptly dashed out.

Of course his second job didn't have anything to do with being bit to death by Hibari again. It was more related to becoming Shōichi's friend, though Tsuna took an embarrassingly long time to realise that he'd made a friend and it involved an even more embarrassing episode of hugging the red head in broad daylight in the middle of the road before having to dash after the bike he'd forgotten as it started rolling downhill.

Oh how he detested hills.

* * *

"And who is this?"

Tsuna quailed under the dangerous violet gaze on him. Though this boy was only a few years older, the brunet felt wary of him.

"U-um, t-this is Tsuna," Shōichi stuttered, clutching his stomach as he often did when he felt stressed and uncomfortable. "H-he's u-um, here as my stylist."

Tsuna tried not to give his friend an incredulous stare.

"Oh really? Hmmm..." Tsuna did not feel any more comfortable to see the violet eyes close in a foxy smile. In fact he feared for himself and his friend.

He almost regretted caving to the red head's request to accompanying him to the Tokyo Junior Inventor's competition finalists. Of course, he had no doubts that Shōichi-kun's original design of a bike that auto-folded into a neat size of a portable laptop at the press of a button would win. It was a lot more complicated and far more impressive than the simplistic models of robots and machines he'd seen so far, and it helped Tsuna with his deliveries. He would make no mention of the test runs though, he still had some healing wounds from those.

Wondering around while everything was still being prepared, the two had bumped into the older white haired boy in front of them named Byakuran.

"Why don't you choose my outfit for today too?"

Tsuna's attention came back to the present and he did a double take. _'What?!'_ Then he looked up into that sly face and felt that even if he denied having such an occupation he would still be forced to do the task. Don't ask how, he just _knew_.

At least Shōichi tried to save him.

"U-um, Byakuran-san, wait! Tsuna-san's not-"

"Hmm? He's not what, Shō-chan~?" The red head trembled under the sharp amused gaze directed at him. Technically, only the junior inventors and their family were allowed here. Shōichi's parents had been too busy and so he'd begged his friend to come to the first competition he'd ever entered for emotional support. Now he wasn't sure. It wasn't his intention to get his friend in trouble.

Tsuna stepped up, feeling a wave a protectiveness over Shōichi as he stepped forward, catching the other boy's attention and meeting his sharp gaze with his own uncharacteristically stable one.

"I'll do it, Byakuran-san. Shall we go to the change rooms?"

Inside, Tsuna was asking himself what the hell he was doing.

Later, Tsuna was just glad they didn't look bad as he crouched behind stage, hugging his knees as the adrenaline wore off. He really had no idea what he was doing the entire time as he took out an assortment of clothes for Byakuran and Shōichi to wear from those supplied. Hell, he couldn't even choose his own clothes, opting for the casual hoodie and pants.

He figured that since Byakuran was sharp and shrewd the white three piece suit he chose would be enough coupled with the silver-lined lavender undershirt and handkerchief to bring out the boy's unusual eyes. For Shōichi he chose dark red slacks, and a red blazer with gold lining and a white undershirt with red and gold striped tie because, well, he felt it matched his friend.

Either way, he wasn't sure whether to be relieved or annoyed that his efforts for Byakuran were wasted as the boy turned out not to be a contender, but part of the audience.

He did feel a sense of pride warm him as he watched his friend present his invention and got the final prize, and all but tackled the red head when he got off stage, trembling from nerves.

Of course he never expected any attention to be drawn to him at a convention for inventors. He'd even made sure to stay as low as possible at the after party as the young mingled, chatting about topics he had no hope of understanding. Shōichi had wondered off, swallowed by the crowd.

Then, Byakuran appeared with a, well, Tsuna had no idea _what_ the man was but he was dressed in the most flamboyant clothing Tsuna had ever seen. He also had brightly coloured hair and grey eyes.

"This is Tsu-chan~" Byakuran introduced casually, swinging an arm around the smaller boy who hunched, tense, in response. "He chose my clothes, aren't they cool?" The older boy swung his other arm out gracefully, showing off his clothes.

"Hoh, he certainly has flair," The older man said, looking at Tsuna with what he could only describe as 'hungry' eyes. "And he is rather adorable~" the man cooed. "How would you like to work for me? I could do much with an eye like yours!"

Tsuna was pretty sure this man was what was known as a pervert and he had no desire to be involved with such a person. He was already shaking his head.

"Tsuna-san!" Shōichi burst out from the crowd and stilled at the scene in front of him.

"Oh, good timing Shō-chan!" Byakuran said with way too much glee. "Alaire-san, Tsu-chan also chose his clothes."

The man went forward, strutting, for that was exactly what he was doing, around the red head who cowered at the scrutiny. The flamboyant man nodded to himself and turned to Tsuna with too much of a determined look for Tsuna's comfort.

And that was how Tsuna ended up working for the clothes designer, Alaire. Of course there were a few compromises, such as the fact that Tsuna refused to leave Japan for Alaire's home country of France just for a job. The brunet was kind of glad that the most the flamboyant man wanted him to do was review patterns, and later, draw up a few of his own. He also wanted the brunet to add his own opinion of what clothing would suit the photos of models the man emailed to him. The work wasn't exactly strenuous, though he'd almost pulled his hair out from stress the first couple emails because he really had no clue if he was right or wrong or why his opinion even _mattered_.

At least the pay was good.

Tsuna found that, past the French man's flamboyant exterior, reside a man passionate about his job and the brunet even had some fun with the designing. Tsuna wasn't that bad at art, thankfully. Though he couldn't say the same for his other subjects. He also decided learning French wouldn't be a bad idea given the man's tendency to scatter foreign words throughout his emails.

Tsuna didn't find out until much much later that Alaire was one of the best designers in the world. Or that his name got famously known as Alaire's apprentice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "italics" = speaking in English

It wasn't until a few months later that Tsuna went through a series of jobs, no thanks to his 'father'.

"I'm home!"

The brunet stared at the blond man decked out in construction gear that walked through the door of his home. Feeling vindictive, Tsuna tilted his head cutely and asked, "Who are you?"

The man stared at his son for a few beats of silence before switching into instant melodramatic mode. "I'm your father, Tsu-kun!" He wailed, loudly enough to draw Nana from the kitchen. She giggled and hugged her husband. Iemitsu did another one-eighty in his wife's arms, putting on a disgustingly soppy look as he twirled his wife around and dipped her into a passionate kiss.

Erk.

Tsuna made a face, gathered up the designs he'd been working on and tottered upstairs as his parents went into sappy romance mode.

He closed the door firmly behind him and dialled up Shōichi-kun to beg to be allowed to sleep over for say, as many days as his father was home.

Tsuna was getting ready to climb out of the window, large overnight bag packed and ready when Iemitsu burst in, suddenly babbling about family bonding time and going on _vacation_.

It was still the middle of the school term!

That didn't seem to be a deterrent and the next morning had Tsuna on a plane with his parents, staring longingly out of the window at the freedom he couldn't grasp.

* * *

After several days of trailing behind his parents, on a tour around the busy streets of Europe, Tsuna couldn't say he didn't see this coming. In fact he was surprised it didn't happen earlier given his non-existent luck.

He got lost.

In England.

Now the brunet didn't know a word of English aside from what he learned at school -which was barely anything mind you. And as the loud ringing of a clock tower indicated the passing hour, Tsuna's first reaction was to panic and run around flailing.

After another three hours, Tsuna gave up on trying to find his parents and settled himself against the river bank, scrunching his nose at the scent of polluted water. His back was to a large warehouse and he wondered how he was going to get home.

First off he needed a computer.

He had, by this point in time and with Shōichi's help, made a bank account to rack up his savings. He certainly didn't want to lose his hard earned money to his bullies. He wasn't sure exactly how much he had at this point but surely it would be enough for a plane ticket home? But still, he needed a computer in order to check and to get in touch with Shōichi.

_"What's a kid like you doing here?"_

Tsuna jumped, almost falling into the river had a hand not shot out and steadied him. He peered back, blinking at the green overalls and curling blond hair of a boy about his age. He also had a lollipop in his mouth.

Um.

 _"I-I don't speak English,"_ Tsuna said, the foreign language rolling off his tongue awkwardly.

"Japanese?"

Tsuna blinked in surprise as he was addressed in his home language. Once he nodded confirmation he got a look not unlike Alaire's enthusiastic one.

"I love Japan! They have lots of interesting inventions and machinery! Oh and onsen and kimonos!" The lollipop stick wavered around enthusiastically as the blond spoke.

Tsuna deduced that this enthusiasm wasn't the norm with this boy given his prior blank stare. But he was relieved to be able to talk to someone. Before, when he was running around blindly, he hadn't been able to understand a thing the adults had asked him and they couldn't understand him as he was searching for his parents.

The blond ended his enthusiastic tirade by holding his hand out and introducing himself, "I'm Spanner, by the way."

The brunet smiled shyly in return as he took the hand. "My name is Tsuna."

"So what are you doing here, Tsuna?" Spanner didn't use any honorific given he wasn't actually Japanese, not that Tsuna minded. But he did flush at the intimate use.

He scratched his cheek sheepishly. "Um, I'm lost."

Spanner looked at him, before handing him a lollipop and saying, "cool, then you can stay at my place. Let's do this the classic way."

"C-classic way?" Tsuna wondered as he took the candy.

Spanner offered a lazy grin as he took the brunet's other hand. "Yup, you take candy from a stranger," here, he pointed to himself. "And the stranger takes you away and we become great friends."

Tsuna gaped, he was pretty sure that _wasn't_ how it went...

* * *

Turns out Spanner lived in the huge warehouse that functioned as a garage of sorts. It was cluttered with car parts and cars and tools and other such.

Tsuna was introduced to Spanner's father, who gave the boy a cursory glance before saying, _"if he's staying, he's going to work for it._ " And then went right back to watching the loudly blaring TV in the makeshift messy office. Spanner shrugged again and dragged the uneasily shifting Tsuna upstairs into a room that overlooked the entire garage, it was just as cluttered, if not more so, as downstairs.

Spanner scratched his head as he looked at the single bed before offering it to Tsuna. Incidentally, it was the only thing not covered in parts.

The brunet instantly denied, ingrained manners popping out once again.

"It's not like I sleep there half the time anyway," Spanner said, not backing down.

"But you do sleep in it!" Tsuna protested.

After another ten minutes of bickering, a grumbling sound distracted them and Tsuna flushed bright red, holding his stomach. They shared a look before Spanner snorted and broke out into laughter, Tsuna following close behind. Before long both boys were bent over, gasping for breath as they laughed their hearts out.

After food, shower, and a change of clothes later; Tsuna ending up in one of Spanner's many overalls. They compromised and decided to sleep on the bed together. They were small enough to fit after all.

* * *

Tsuna worked as a mechanic.

Well, he had listened to so many of Shōichi's rumblings that it would have been a miracle if he didn't learn a thing. There was even that one time the Irie's family car had broken down and Tsuna was passing tools to his friend as he fixed the problem, all the while explaining what each part did. So he was competent enough and it wasn't like Spanner wasn't there every step of the way, directing him.

Seriously, how did he befriend so many geeks?

_"Yeah, we're just replacing the fuse plug in your engine and welding on the underside now, Mr. Smith."_

Tsuna was also getting better at understanding English.

_"Those children had better not hurt my baby."_

There was a quiet snort to the side and Tsuna glanced from his position under the car toward one of the other mechanics who worked here during the day, a teenager missing a tooth with a wicked grin known as Sam.

_"Rest assured Mr. Smith, they know what they're doing."_

Tsuna pulled a face inside his metal mask. He still had no idea what he was doing half the time but at least he knew what the underside of a car was _supposed_ to look like, so he continued to blast the hot flame at the metal, watching it melt, and sweating at the close proximity of the heat.

After another half hour, Tsuna rolled out and into Spanner's legs whom he'd forgotten was working at the front of the car. The blond boy ended sprawled on top of him.

"Sorry," Tsuna groaned, thankful that the owner of the car had left a while ago.

"No worries, I just finished too," Spanner replied, but didn't get up. "You smell like fire and metal."

"Well, you smell like grease and petrol," Tsuna shot back, too weary to watch his words.

 _"You kids are so cute,"_ Sam grinned from the side, letting out a wolf whistle.

Spanner mustered up enough strength to throw, ironically, a spanner at the teen who ducked out of the way.

 _"Go clean up, we're done for the day,"_ came the gruff voice of Spanner's father.

Tsuna had to drag the blond up the stairs and ditch him in the bath as he rummaged through the cupboard in Spanner's room for some food. He procured some muesli bars and went back to the bathroom to find the blond half asleep in the tub. Prodding the blond until he woke up, Tsuna handed over a bar which the blond devoured in an instant, going through the next one slower as Tsuna chewed through his.

"This is what you get for working on that robot all night," Tsuna grumbled after swallowing, leaning against the cool tiles of the tiny bathroom.

Spanner had no such notions and replied with his mouth full, "When else 'm I going to do it?"

Tsuna sighed, understanding. Spanner and his father did not get along well, not in the least. The man didn't like his son dabbling in what he called a 'useless' hobby.

Tsuna thought it was far from useless and more a passion, and something Spanner obviously enjoyed doing. At least Shōichi's parents didn't deter his love for inventing.

After Spanner had bathed, Tsuna went next and returned to find the blond sitting stubbornly in the centre of the room, tinkering with the inside of a small bot.

Tsuna face-palmed before sighing in resignation, well aware he couldn't deter the blond after spending a week here. Instead, he crawled onto the bed, gathering the duvet around him, and fell into the lulls of sleep to the sound of Spanner's tinkering.

* * *

Tsuna jerked awake as a roar sounded in his ears. He shot up, looking around blearily and felt ice in his veins as his eyes instantly took in the scene. Spanner was on the ground, blood seeping out of his head and his father was standing above him, in his hands the crushed form of the very robot Spanner had been working on.

_"How many times have I told you stop with this stupid useless hobby!"_

Tsuna didn't think, he didn't have time to think as he dived in front of his friend and gasped as a metal capped boot connected with his abdomen. He groaned, flopping to the ground next to his friend but he stared up defiantly.

"Can't you see where your son's passions lie?! Isn't a parent supposed to love and nurture their child into doing something he enjoys?! Making Spanner fix cars all the time is a true waste of his talents!"

Tsuna didn't know it, but his eyes flashed a fierce orange as he bared his fangs for the first time. At a full grown adult, no less.

 _"I-I don't know what the fuck you're saying kid, but this is none of your business!"_ Spanner's father growled, unnerved by the strange eyes.

_"Stop."_

Tsuna was startled as he felt an arm come around his shoulders and Spanner propped himself up, leaning against Tsuna's back.

 _"I'll stop as long as you stop hurting him."_ Spanner's head was down, forehead pressed against Tsuna's back.

The brunet made a sound of protest in the back of his throat, knowing that this was all wrong. Completely wrong. But the arms gripping him tightened, stopping him from voicing it.

 _"Humph, good. If I see so much as another of these useless toys in your room, this kid's getting the boot."_ And then Spanner's dad left, slamming the door behind him.

"You okay, Tsuna?" Spanner asked quietly in the ensuing silence.

Tsuna snapped, turning around. "I should be the one asking you-!" He gasped at the blood leaking from a head wound and down the blond's face

"It's nothing," Spanner tried to wave away, stumbling to his feet.

"It's not nothing!" Tsuna grabbed his friend, standing up and wincing at the pain that shot through his stomach.

He fussed over Spanner and was thankful the cut on his forehead wasn't too deep, though it would leave a nasty bruise later. Tsuna's abdomen was already turning an interesting colour but he'd had worse from his bullies.

"There's no way I'm letting you give up robotics just because of me," Tsuna said later that night -or was it morning?- when they'd settled onto the bed again, wounds washed and treated. He gave Spanner a firm look, not noticing how far a cry it was compared to the trembling gaze he had when he came.

Spanner scratched his head in thought.

"Then I guess we should just leave this place."

Tsuna blinked. "Wait, what?"


	3. Chapter 3

"YOU'RE WHERE?!"

So Tsuna had finally gotten around to contacting Shōichi, using a phone he'd filched from some unsuspecting tourist with an international carrier. He'd have to tell his friend to remove the details later in case it was tracked.

"Italy." He repeated. "Venice."

He looked at the phone in sympathy as he heard Shōichi groan. The stomach pains were back.

"You do know," Shōichi enunciated slowly. "That your mother returned a month ago, distraught, and your father's been looking for you all over England right?"

"He is?" Tsuna asked, surprised, he'd been in England for a good two weeks and he hadn't seen any missing posters of any sort.

"Well, he's doing it discreetly, for some reason, but I noticed while I was looking for you."

Tsuna smiled, blushing slightly. "Thanks," he said softly.

He could hear spluttering over the other end until the red head caught himself and decided it was nigh time to ask the important question. "So, why are you in Italy?"

"Well a lot of crazy stuff happened..." Tsuna said.

Certainly a lot of stuff happened and the brunet was sure more than half of it was illegal. First off, he and Spanner decided that, what the hell, let's leave and go to Japan. Well, mostly Spanner decided that and Tsuna was dragged along that pace. But booking flights when neither of them had passports nor visas was out of the question so they decided that they would road trip it, which was kind of hard considering the bodies of water they had to get through to get to Japan.

First off they stole the car, the one Mr. Smith had called his 'baby'. The navy blue Ferrari was hardly inconspicuous but it was also the one they'd worked on the most and Spanner insisted that if they were going to leave, they were leaving with the one they'd modified. So, storing lots of dry food and petrol into the boot they'd almost managed to rev off if the opening of the garage door hadn't attracted Spanner's father. Tsuna put good use to one of Shōichi's inventions he had; a handheld water gun that shot balls of electricity rather than water -kind of like a Taser but with more range- and they busted out of there.

After that, they'd shared a laugh after the strenuous escape, Spanner driving with the help of the platform boots they're stuck to the brake and accelerator. They swapped positions when they got tired, Tsuna learning how to drive for the first time, which involved a lot of narrow misses with poles and trees at the beginning. They'd found an internet cafe first. Tsuna should not have been surprised that Spanner had as much an affinity to hacking as Shōichi. The blond quickly adjusted the car registry so that Mr. Smith was no longer the owner before booking a cruise to France under some fake names and passports Tsuna had managed to grab after a stopover at the busy crowd near Buckingham palace. Tsuna had never stolen in his life until then -aside from the car, of course- and he was almost afraid of the implications at how smoothly he'd just reached in and pocketed the wallets and passports and sauntered away casually when, really, he was panicking inside.

The cruise had gone smoothly, for once, even allowing them to take the car with them. Though they had to make a break for it when a sensible stewardess decided to question why two children were taking such an expensive car. Luckily, that was when they'd already arrived. Thank god the car wasn't open and had tinted windows, they would have been caught much sooner otherwise.

So then they spent several days in France, among cheese and baguettes and baked goods and wine. Tsuna's studies over the language for his designer job payed off as he negotiated jobs for them because he didn't want to steal every time and he much rather had honestly earned money to spend. They altered from cleaning dishes, waitressing, cooking in restaurants -that one Tsuna had to run away from before they decided to beg him for his services because he just knew he wouldn't be able to refuse- they'd even helped set up some strange festival that involved prancing around in skirts as they passed through Switzerland. Spanner took some hack jobs, Tsuna's knowledge of such things far more inferior though he had learned how to get into a locked phone if need be.

He had considered visiting Alaire before deciding not to, it was lucky his designing job was so lax. He only needed to look over the designs and email back and Alaire hadn't asked him to design anything for the next show.

Crossing from France to Italy had put a stump in their plans for a bit until Spanner spotted a poster about a motor sports competition that would allow them to cross the border. And so that was how the two entered a racing competition, donned in goggles (though their car was not a hatchback), scarves, and their jump suits, they appeared on international TV for a short while, Spanner having taken the wheel and deciding that if they were racing, they would race to win. Tsuna had then ruined his record, knowing very well that if they won, people would question their short statures and want to know who they were. He settled for fourth place and, with the help of some makeshift smoke bombs, managed to disappear at the end of the race to continue their journey into Italy.

In Italy, they'd driven through enjoying the strange foreign scenes of lush green hills dotted with cute terraces and ancient architecture. They were having a competition for who could try the most gelato flavours too.

Tsuna got a job helping refurbish one of the tall churches in Milan. That involved a lot of standing on precarious platforms as he attempted to clean the weathered grime off the ancient stone walls. His job at the next city was to deliver fliers, which made him nostalgic as he took out his collapsible bike from Shōichi and rode around, delivering the papers into mail boxes. A few other stops let him take on all sorts of odd jobs, from a regular barista at a small cafe, to helping locals find their stray pets. He shook his head as he recalled that ridiculously large turtle he'd found -and almost been crushed by- before a blond man came and whisked it away with a lasso.

This wasn't to say that getting a job was easy. It was hard getting hired when you were a little kid, the only reason was because Tsuna knew when someone desperately needed the help. Of course he wasn't exactly taking advantage his hirers desperate situations, Tsuna wasn't one to do something half-heartedly when he took on a job, and he completed it to the best of his ability. Though that probably didn't mean much when he kept tripping over his own feet, he mused.

Venice was the latest stop and Tsuna was working as a gondolier, dressed in a blue and white striped shirt, red scarf tied around his neck and a straw hat atop his hair.

"Anyway, tell mum I'm fine, would you? And that I'll hopefully make it back within... six months." Tsuna continued with his phone call.

"...Six months is a lot, Tsuna-san," Shōichi's strained voice trailed over the receiver.

"Yeah, it's taking a lot of time driving across Europe." And avoiding border patrols. "Tell Brown-san that I'm sorry that my, uh, leave is longer than I originally thought."

"It's okay. I'm just hoping if you're safe, Tsuna-san."

"Its fine Shōichi-kun," Tsuna smiled. "Apart from the local street gang trying to recruit us, everything's been fine." It really wasn't Tsuna's fault, he saw a silver haired child who was being bullied by adults in suits, and of course he couldn't just leave them alone. So he'd jumped in, tased the men and escaped with the kid his age. The boy had then refused any more of his help, stumbling away before Tsuna could stop him. Spanner had stopped him from chasing the boy and tilted his head at the bunch of other children who'd been witness to what he'd done. They'd promptly tried to recruit the blond and brunet, whom both refused fervently before running away.

"Who is trying to recruit you?!"

Oops, Tsuna hadn't meant to mention that. "Nothing Shōichi-kun! I'll get into contact with you again soon make sure to wipe the trace of this phone call since the phone is stolen okay bye!" He hung up to Shōichi's spluttering and quickly bent around the corner of the building he'd been sitting against and slipping the phone back into the bag of its owner just as the bag was picked up.

Tsuna didn't actually want to steal, okay?

* * *

 

The next time Tsuna got into contact with Shōichi, was a few weeks later in St. Petersburg.

"Hi, Shōichi-kun!" Tsuna beamed, all too happy to have finally bought a laptop with their hard earned money. Of course the laptop wasn't ordinary, since it had been built from scratch by Spanner with some encouragement from Tsuna. He was webcamming over Skype so he could see the worried red head in his bedroom.

Shōichi rose a brow, and pushed up his glasses. He could see that Tsuna was sitting in some shadowed area and hear loud music streaming through his speakers. "Where are you, Tsuna-san?"

"Russia, we joined a travelling band!" Tsuna beamed, sparkles appearing in the background.

Shōichi stared before grabbing his hair. 'Why? Why do I ask?!'

"Ah, that's my cue," Tsuna said, looking up at something the red head couldn't see from the camera. Tsuna looked back into the webcam and smiled. "You can talk to Spanner now, I've meaning to get you two to meet, but I'm not sticking around for all the nerd talk."

And then a blond boy replaced Tsuna.

After a beat of silence, where they observed each other, Spanner raised a hand in greeting. "Yo, great work on the bike and Taser gun. Especially with the adjustable discharge, I've been wondering how you managed to get it to generate and compress all that electricity..."

And that was how the two inventors met and promptly delved into nerd talk. It seemed nothing could interrupt their riveting conversation until the blare of an electric guitar rang out, playing a complicated series of notes.

Then, The Voice joined it.

It was loud, passionate, and riveting; full of something even Shōichi could feel through his fuzzy speakers.

It was also distinctly young.

"I-is that Tsuna-san?!"

"Yeah, amazing isn't he? He learned guitar in less than a week," Spanner said, his voice barely heard over the song.

Shōichi nodded in mute awe.

As the last notes rung out, cutting off abruptly in one final overture. Loud applause followed and Spanner sighed, shaking his head. "It's going to be hard getting these guys to let us go too."

"Let you go?" The red head echoed.

Spanner nodded. "Yeah, Tsuna's really dedicated you know? Once he decides to do a job, he really gets into it, especially the ones where he has fun. I think the people who hire us can really feel it and they always try to convince us to stay."

"Oh, wow." Now the red head couldn't help his feeling of envy. He wanted to know absolutely everything that had happened since Tsuna first got lost. Luckily, now that the two boys had their own laptop and Wi-Fi, he could quiz them as much as he wanted.

* * *

 

"TEN LAPS AROUND THE CIRCUIT, GO GO GO!"

Shōichi winced at the megaphone's noise that streamed through his speakers. "Is that Tsuna-san speaking Russian?!"

"Yeah, he somehow got a job at this military camp to train recruits," Spanner said helpfully. He tactfully added on, "and don't ask me how he did it. I really have no idea."

They'd been driving their Ferrari -the car could withstand anything, thank god it was modified by Spanner to have an indestructible exterior or they would not have survived that time they drove off a cliff. Or the next cliff- through Russia after tearful farewells with the band they'd been travelling with for the past two weeks when they'd happened upon the military camp. Spanner wasn't sure how Tsuna did it, but now it was another of their temporary stays. Hopefully this one wouldn't be attempting to keep them there just because Tsuna could yell recruits into training.

Oh how wrong he was.

Apparently Tsuna had a real knack for giving the recruits a real reason to train; your brother died to protect you? Then you shouldn't be training just to get strong, you should be training so you can protect the life your brother gave you. Oh, you already think you're strong enough and don't need all this... 'Pointless' training? Cue one hundred watt smile that made several of the buff men want to pee their pants. Then you must be weak. Only those who know that there is no limit to what you can strengthen, whether mind or body, have true strength. Ah, you think I'm a pipsqueak who can't lift even a watermelon? Well, you're right but I'm not ashamed to admit it anymore. Can you say the same for the fact that you can't sleep without your favourite stuffed rabbit?

Spanner had no idea where Tsuna got the last one from, that man had paled and scurried away with his tail between his legs.

"... I think you need a vacation," Spanner said tactfully. He wasn't sure he could handle tired snarky Tsuna any more than he could handle excited sugar high Tsuna... Spanner stopped that thought short and quickly wiped that disaster of a memory from his mind. Let's not mention that incident ever again, okay?

Tsuna let out a dry laugh. "This was supposed to be a vacation," he stated with a yawn. "Anyway, I'm just tired because those guys have been trying to play pranks on me during my sleep." He let out another yawn.

Spanner grabbed his hand. "Okay then, you're staying at my room tonight."

After a good night's rest, Tsuna returned to being cute and fluffy Tsuna with a side of endearing shyness. Of course, that didn't stop him from being stern with the training regimen since that was what he was being paid to do.

* * *

 

"Shōichi-kun, have you got anything that'll help me learn Chinese instantly?!"

The red head stared numbly at the scene before him. There were squealing children running about and parents and couples all over what he could see of the zoo behind the brunet. "I thought you needed qualifications to become a zookeeper," he managed to say through his shock.

Tsuna just shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "They really need extra hands today, since it's a public holiday."

Spanner appeared beside Tsuna with a baby panda in his arms and a milk bottle. "Hey Shōichi," he greeted.

"Well, I don't have anything that could help you learn a language instantly..." Shōichi said, deciding it was best just to address the problem at hand than question why Tsuna had a marmoset clinging to his hair. "The best I have is a program that can translate words through a camera." The red head shrugged helplessly.

"Really?" Spanner asked, leaning forward.

Seeing the look the blond was getting Tsuna sighed and relinquished the laptop to the blond who settled onto the floor with the panda cub in his lap, chattering enthusiastically to the red head.

Tsuna left, making sure to leave the marmoset too as he grabbed one of the buckets hanging around.

It was lion feeding time.

Parents should keep better hold of their children, Tsuna thought bitterly, not seeing the complete irony behind his words at this moment because he was too busy making sure he and the toddler in his arms didn't become chow for the lions. He dashed for the gate, managing to hand over the baby in the red dress and a single plait on the top of her hair to the waiting arms of a co-worker. He sighed in relief and was just about to go in too when the door banged shut in his face, a lion having leapt at it. Tsuna stared at the beast, breaking out in cold sweat, he could barely hear the crowd's murmuring from high above.

It was one of the younger lions, still barely out of cub age. Young meant more energetic, and hungry too. Lions were his favourite animals but Tsuna held no illusions; those jaws were definitely strong enough to rip into him. He debated between running, or just pretending to be an inconspicuous rock. His short legs were no match for those of an animal's.

He certainly wasn't expecting what happened next.

The lion loped up to him, rubbing against him and started purring. The low rumble rang through Tsuna and the brunet had the unexplainable urge to relax as he reached out to tentatively run his fingers through the short mane. Deeper purring encouraged him and Tsuna let a small smile leak through. Then he was pushed down and he couldn't help his giggles as the lion nuzzled him, those whiskers tickling him.

* * *

 

"So you're scared of dogs but not lions, how does that even work?" Spanner later asked when he'd finally gotten out of the enclosure. Tsuna had the grace to blush.

"Thank you for rescuing I-pin," a calm voice said as Japanese.

The two boys turned and had to look down to see a, well, a baby standing next to the girl Tsuna had rescued.

"I-pin sorry." The girl was a deep shade of red as she looked at the floor and bowed.

Tsuna smiled, his eyes softening as he crouched down to pat the girl on her head. "It's okay, at least you weren't hurt." He chuckled as the girl looked up. "Just make sure not to climb over any of the fences again, okay I-pin-chan?"

He then glanced quizzically at the baby next to the girl. Something told him that this baby wasn't an ordinary one, especially since he held himself with the grace and poise of an adult and Tsuna could practically sense the mature aura the other had. He also got the sense that he'd seen a similar face before, but older and less serene.

"My name is Fon," said the baby with a smile. "I-pin is very precious to me, you have my complete gratitude. Is there anything I could do to repay you?"

Tsuna found himself blushing and stuttering, shaking his head. "N-no need. Just make sure she's safe!" And then he stood up, dusting his knees off, ready to scurry back to work.

I-pin's voice stopped him. "Xie xie, ge ge!"

Tsuna blushed and said, "My name is Tsuna and he's Spanner." He gestured to his friend, using their real names for once. "We'll see you around, okay?"

Then he turned and left, Spanner following him with a lazy wave over his shoulder.

Later, Fon and I-pin somehow did catch up with them and invited them out to dinner. It was actually quite fun and Tsuna was flattered by I-pin's sincere show of adoration toward him. Then they got to a strange part of the conversation that, had Tsuna known what it would lead to, he would have run away right there and then.

"You're trying to get to Japan?" Fon asked, quirking a brow when Spanner mentioned their original goal in this whole 'travel half the world' fiasco.

Fon then glanced at I-pin before chuckling into his sleeve.

"Well, we were planning on making our way there too, why don't we join you?"

* * *

 

"Mum, I'm back!"

He was instantly engulfed in the tightest hug he'd ever received as he stepped through the threshold and his mother smothering him with kisses as she chanted, "Tsu-kun, Tsu-kun, Tsu-kun, oh my precious Tsu-kun."

Tsuna's face turned bright pink but he couldn't help hugging tightly back, squinting his eyes shut as he basked in his mother's warmth. It was one of the few things that truly made him homesick in the last five months he'd been away.

Eventually the two parted, Nana wiping away her tears as she marvelled over her adorable eight year old son. Was it just her or had he grown manlier, standing straighter than before?

Then her gaze drifted past her son and to the expensive European car parked on her front yard and the blond boy that leaned against the side watching them almost lazily.

Tsuna led his mother out smiling as he introduced, "Mum, this is Spanner, he helped me out a lot in getting back."

Nana smiled and easily welcomed the blond into their home, chattering happily as they settled back into normal routine and she started cooking up a feast.

Well, it wasn't exactly normal at first. They needed to hide the car after all. Despite being perfectly capable drivers now, Tsuna highly doubted that the city's self-proclaimed protector would feel the same since underage driving was still technically breaking the law, which meant the peace of Namimori, and he had no urge to be bitten to death any more than necessary. (Necessary meaning the almost assured chance that he would be bitten to death as soon as he stepped into school because of all the absences.)

Anyway, they decided to hide the car in Brown-san's spare garage for now.

Souvenirs from their trip were also handed out. French wine, handicrafts, cooking books and dresses were given to Nana. Tobacco, cigarettes and vodka were handed shyly by Tsuna to Brown-san, who gruffly ruffled his hair and shooed him out to do his job again. The many books and gadgets picked up here and there were hoarded by Shōichi and Spanner. Swiss chocolate Tsuna gave to the people he'd gotten to know on his newspaper runs. And he gave a handmade, beautiful calligraphy scroll to Kawahira-san. The rest were stored for later.

Life settled back to normal, or almost normal. Tsuna still did paper deliveries. He also still did design jobs for Alaire. And then there was the awkward other job he'd picked up in Germany...

"I need the manuscript now, Mr. Tsuna or so help me I will-!"

'Hiieee' Tsuna thought to himself. He certainly agreed that shouting in German sounded a lot more threatening than shouting in Japanese.

"I'm almost done! Just, another two hours! I promise!"

"You have one."

And then the call ended.

Tsuna quickly opened up his document and frantically started typing as he wondered why in the world he agreed to becoming an aspiring author.

He blamed Spanner.

The blond thought it would be amusing to send what Tsuna had written when he was drunk to a publisher. Tsuna had not meant to get drunk. He was eight! He had even fervently refused the offers of beer from the rowdy crowd only to accidentally trip and dive face first into a large beer jug.

And it all degenerated from there.

He had no idea why the publishing company even accepted the raw copy of what he'd written, it had been on a bunch of napkins in a messier scrawl than ever because he'd still been learning to write in German. But no, he got a call back that begged him to continue the story and Tsuna, being Tsuna, couldn't refuse the pleas.

So now he had to contend with the horror of deadlines, more deadlines and even more deadlines.

Alaire set deadlines too but they were different types and the flamboyant man certainly didn't expect 20000 words of prose in an hour.

Tsuna resisted the urge to crawl into his bed and cry as he continued to write well into the night.

* * *

 

"Tsunaaaaaaa!"

Ah yes, here was the other one that had been worrying over his wellbeing. After experiencing Spanner's father, and more than enough unsavoury men on his trip Tsuna decided not to side step the massive hug in a rare show of compassion.

He instantly regretted it as he felt his very bones creak from the sheer pressure and his shirt become drenched in tears.

Ten minutes passed with Tsuna struggling to get away and Iemitsu blubbering nonsense as he clung to his son. Then he let go and placed his hands on Tsuna's small shoulders, looking uncharacteristically serious.

"Tsuna, you have to tell Papa what happened, okay? Tell Papa honestly because he would never let anyone hurt you." He meant to hunt down anyone that dared to take his son.

Well, Tsuna was somewhat happy his dad was actually serious about him. That didn't exactly fill that empty spot inside from his long absences though, and Tsuna knew those all too well. Perhaps that was why he was feeling vindictive as he decided to feed his father's medicine back to him.

"I was picked up by a man in a hot air balloon," Tsuna said casually, all cute doe eyes blinking innocuously. That wasn't necessarily untrue, he and Spanner did get a trip via hot air balloon near Georgia, with their car tied precariously to the base. Again, Tsuna marvelled at the indestructible nature of the car, he was pretty sure it had scraped a few mountains more than once.

"A... Hot air balloon?" Iemitsu asked, wide eyed.

"Yeah, and we travelled half the world back to Japan." Which was also true, just not using a hot air balloon the entire time. It was something of an assortment of driving, cruises, joining travelling bands and circuses and, right at the end, taking over a naval barge to illegally enter Japan.

Tsuna was never doing that again.

There was stunned silence for a whole minute before Iemistu grinned, nodding enthusiastically. "That's great Tsuna! It must have been a great adventure! My little Tsu-kun is growing up!" The blond gushed.

Tsuna resisted the urge to face-palm at his father's obliviousness.

After a day, the man left again, cheerfully saying something ridiculous about going to herd penguins in the South Pole.


	4. Chapter 4

Tsuna's next job, the one he regretted taking because it took entirely too much paperwork and effort despite the enormous pay, happened because of one thing.

Biting to death.

And his own carelessness.

Okay so that was two things but he'd been so very tired after an all-nighter typing out his story that he'd forgotten to remove one very vital thing from his bag when he went to school the next day after delivering papers. (Incidentally, Tsuna didn't need to put much effort into paper delivering aside from riding the bike now, because Shōichi had installed a machine on the front that fired the newspapers into mailboxes automatically.)

He forgot about the Taser-gun.

And so not only was he bitten to death for five months absence by Hibari-san, he was doubly bitten to death for bringing weapons to school.

And that was how he ended up in hospital.

Tsuna sat up, groaning in pain and peering around blearily at the too clean room.

His stomach grumbled audibly.

He blushed, thankful no one else was around, before sighing and crawling out of the bed. Having suffered worse from his bullies he could ignore his injuries enough to patter barefoot out of the room and into the hallway in search for food.

Tsuna poked his head into a room, attracted by mouth-watering scents.

The room only held one bed, obviously private. Flowers sat on the windowsill giving off a sweet scent. An elderly man sat on the bed, machines beeping softly around him. Next to him was a tray of warm food; a slice of still steaming apple crumble, a ceramic bowl with its lid still on and a few rolls of bread.

Tsuna resisted the urge to drool and made to retreat, glad that the old man was busy reading a book and hadn't noticed him.

"Master, there is a young visitor by the door."

Tsuna jumped and stumbled, face planting on the tiled floor. He looked up, blushing hard as he came face to face with a dark skinned man dressed in an impeccable suit.

Too close.

Tsuna 'hiiee'd and scrambled back, wincing as he jostled his new set of bruises.

He stared at the white gloved hand offered to him like it was a foreign object until his brain restarted again and he tentatively took it. Then he had no idea how to feel about suddenly being picked up like a little kid (even though he _was_ a little kid) and held out to the old man like he was some stuffed toy.

"Um, my name is Tsuna, it's nice to meet you," Tsuna said politely when he was thankfully set down next to the bed by a gesture from the elderly man.

The old man smiled, and was about to reply when Tsuna's stomach decided to make itself known and complain that he was taking too long to find food.

Groooowl~

Tsuna's face flushed a deep red as he ducked his head and all but hid behind his bangs.

The old man's mouth opened into a wide grin and he chuckled as he offered the tray to Tsuna. The boy shook his head but then he couldn't refuse when the man gave him a hard look that seemed to freeze him. As he was eating he learned the older man's name was Lory-san and that he had cancer. Lory laughed off Tsuna's empathetic gaze and started telling the boy stories of his younger days which he had lived to full enjoyment. Tsuna reciprocated, sharing a few of his own tales about his recent trip through Europe.

He found the older man's company enjoyable, and was quite disappointed when a nurse came in and scolded him for leaving his room.

Lory-san had laughed uproariously at Tsuna's expression and told the boy to visit again.

* * *

It was actually a few weeks and many visits later that Tsuna was offered the job.

"Hmmm, Tsuna-kun." Tsuna looked up from the book he'd been reading aloud, in French. Apparently Lory-san was well versed in many languages and was all too pleased to find out that Tsuna knew quite a few too. "How would you like to work for your amazing Uncle Lory?" The elder man asked with a big wink toward the small boy.

"Uh." Tsuna could only stare dumbfounded as he panicked inside. He'd made no mention of his other jobs aside from paper delivering in the morning because, frankly, that one was at least normal for a young child to have.

"It'll be easy! All you've got to do is to assess and organise groups of people who'll work together well and a bunch of other things! Howard-san will be helping you out!" Lory looked entirely too enthusiastic for a bedridden old man. And much too eager.

Howard, the dark skinned man who was always around Lory like a silent sentinel, gave Tsuna an elegant bow.

Tsuna's gaze shifted to the side wondering if he could even bring himself to say no.

Lory made a very disturbing puppy dog face.

Of course he couldn't.

"Um... I'll try it out."

* * *

"You're where?!"

Shōichi thought that this routine would be over and done with now that Tsuna was back.

He should have known better to assume anything when it came to his friend.

Luckily, he also knew when to think ahead, and boy was he glad he'd pretty much ordered Tsuna to keep the classy phone he'd made that he'd linked to the satellites he and Spanner had hacked into.

"I'm in Tokyo Tower, Shōichi-kun. And I really need your help!"

With a glance at his other monitor, that displayed a map and a red dot in the centre of Tokyo, he could see that his friend was indeed telling the truth. Not that he would ever doubt Tsuna's words of course.

"What's wrong?" He asked in concern as Spanner leaned over him to listen in too. They were sitting in the back room of Brown-san's shop, which they'd accidentally made into a workshop of sorts. The gruff man didn't seem to mind in the least and let the boys use the place as they liked as long as they didn't interfere with business.

Tsuna was panicking on the other end of the line, but did his best not to show it. He already felt out of place as it was walking down the elaborately decorated hall, heading straight for an even more extravagant set of double doors.

"I'm going to some meeting or something acting as Lory-san's stand in and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing!" He whisper shouted into his phone. At least the little suit he'd been encouraged to wear by Howard-san didn't look so out of place here compared to Namimori's common roads.

Tsuna wasn't afraid of crowds as long as he had a role to play, like the time with the circus and the travelling band. The issue here was that he had no idea what 'role' he had here. He didn't even know what Lory-san even did as a job.

Howard-san's advice; "just be play around and have fun, Tsuna-sama. That is what Master has always done." Was not in any way helpful.

"Lory-san?" Shōichi asked, he and Spanner knew about the old man Tsuna had taken to visiting in the hospital. "Um... He couldn't be Takarada Lory, CEO of the international Takarada Company...?" The red head trailed off nervously. "Could he?"

"Don't they own a bunch of hotels and recreational centres as well as major shares?" Spanner added his two cents in.

Tsuna stared in horror at his phone before turning to Howard-san walking beside him. When the dark skinned man nodded at his unspoken question, Tsuna wanted to go cry in a corner.

What happened to getting a normal job?

The meeting went smoothly, thankfully. Or as smoothly as it could with adults gawking at the eight year old child who was suddenly in charge. Though Tsuna had absolutely no affinity with numbers, budgets or whatever else the adults were talking about (Howard-san was gracious enough to translate the commerce jargon into normal words for him by rapidly writing down everything being said on a tablet which Tsuna could read from another tablet in front of his seat at the end of the table) but he did have a good sense of flow and his amazingly accurate intuition to help him along.

Thankfully Shōichi had given him a crash course on how stocks worked just before he'd entered the meeting.

"Okay, I guess we can buy these ones with what we have left..." Tsuna said, clicking around with his mouse. The monitor at the side of the room, displaying what he was doing in full blown up glory.

Several of the adults made a choking sound before one brave man decided to voice, "that company has always been fluctuating, Tsuna-sama, it's not really suggested..." He trailed off.

"They'll be fine," Tsuna said with a shrug. Normally he'd be worried about spending someone else's money so recklessly but he was feeling daring today and Lory-san _had_ said he could do whatever he liked. If something went wrong then it would teach the old man for trusting him with this ridiculous job, Tsuna mused.

The adults got the shock of their lives as they saw how much their stocks went up by the end of the week due to Tsuna's little tweaks here and there with the company budget.

And Tsuna settled for being dragged into another job he didn't particularly need.

This time he didn't have the excuse of not even belonging to the country as an excuse.

And he had to set some ground rules, again.

"I can't skip school to personally visit Tokyo all the time, I also can't go aboard to visit the other branches. If you really want me to do all this, then you have to send me reports digitally, okay?"

Lory just chuckled, his breath coming out in wheezes. "Sure, anything you want Tsuna." The boy looked at the old man in worry. Lory just ruffled his hair with a firm hand and waved him out.

* * *

And so his life went back to normal. With a side of doing strange jobs.

Or was the normal the side and his jobs the main?

Whatever, Tsuna couldn't bring himself to care anymore.

"I think we really need to get our own place," Tsuna said as he gave the small workshop at the back of Brown-san's store a once over. It was absolutely full, half built robots here and there, wires covering almost all the floor space, and computer monitors sitting precariously over other rubble. "We can't keep imposing on Brown-san like this."

"I don't think Mamma would particularly want this in her house," Spanner said with a shrug and a shift of his lollipop. Tsuna wondered why the blond wasn't mortified at calling his mother that.

"My room is open but..." Shōichi trailed off.

"It's too small," Tsuna stated bluntly. It was almost as overcrowded with machine parts as this place.

They decided to leave it to think about later.

Later turned out to be about a month when Tsuna had a sudden epiphany while looking at the new building design for the shopping centre Takarada Co. was investing into in downtown Namimori.

He grinned and got out a clean sheet to start sketching a new design.

* * *

There was one incident that happened soon after Tsuna's return to Japan that had nothing to do with his jobs. Or his current ones anyway.

They were setting up satellite TV at Brown-san's request. It was the least they could do after taking over the back of his store.

A makeshift satellite dish had already been set up at the top of the apartment the shop was part of, now they were just adjusting the TV.

It was only by chance they settled on a Russian news report.

"Hey isn't that...?" Spanner muttered, looking at the flickering screen.

Tsuna took a look and froze.

It was a concert, a big open truck functioning as the stage. In the centre stood a short figure donning a horned domino mask and an electric guitar. He was singing into the mic.

"What am I doing on TV?!"

"Tsuna-san looks so cool," Shōichi said in awe.

According to the report, they were trying to find the mystery singer 'X' because he'd managed to touch the hearts of many with his passionate singing.

Tsuna felt a migraine coming on.

That would be the last time Tsuna let Spanner choose their aliases.

He was also glad they were back in Japan where he was unlikely to be found, even though he still had that electric guitar in his room...

* * *

Tsuna admitted he was somewhat slow not to have noticed just how much money he'd made by the time he was ten.

Only a jaunty comment from Spanner and a friendly competition made him actually see how much he had.

"You've got to set better firewalls than that, Tsuna."

The brunet grumbled, typing as fast as he could to block the incoming digital attacks from the blond leaning against his back.

It was a lost cause.

Tsuna sighed in defeat as Spanner got full access to his laptop. Leaning back, he thumped his back against the blond's. "Why do I even bother?" He asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Don't worry, your security is good enough to block any amateurs out there."

Tsuna smiled at what he knew was a compliment because, two years ago, he wouldn't have known left from right on a computer mouse.

Spanner letting out a low whistle caught his attention.

"What?"

"You could probably buy a mansion now."

Tsuna looked at his laptop and realised his friend was looking at his account statement. "Hey!" And then what the blond mechanic said dawned on him. "Really?"

Spanner stared at Tsuna blandly. "You pretty much run a multinational company and you can't tell how much money you have?"

Tsuna flushed, indignant. It wasn't his fault, he was still failing math despite Shōichi and Spanner's efforts to teach him the cursed subject. He knew how much food, tools, machine parts, fabric and books cost since he bought them often. He had a vague sense of how much it would cost to build a twenty story building in the middle of the business district, but Tsuna never actually looked at the numbers. It was just feelings like; "this price looks right for what I'm buying" or "oh no way am I getting ripped off that badly."

Now that he looked at his statement again and the number of digits it had, he supposed it was a decent amount.

Huh.

Later, while Tsuna was washing dishes and Spanner was wiping down the table, Tsuna told his mother.

"Hey Mum, I've got a lot of money saved up now so you don't have to ask Dad for more."

Nana hummed, smiling at her Tsu-kun. She was aware her son had a few jobs, having watched him get up very early in the morning and the random sketches he left lying around. She didn't pry, of course, content as long as her son was enjoying himself.

He wasn't so much enjoying as resigned, especially the running a multinational corporation part.

"Really, Tsu-kun?" She asked, gently ruffling his very fluffy hair. "You've grown up so much!"

Tsuna squirmed and turned red.

He was too cute!

"We can reroute the money into your account, Mamma," Spanner added.

Nana looked thoughtful before shaking her head. "It's okay. It's Tsu-kun's hard earned money so it should be used on what he wants."

Tsuna quickly shook his head and slipped out of the washing gloves he had on. Turning, he looked up at his kind mother determinedly.

"I want to use it on my family."

Nana blushed, her Tsu-kun was getting manlier by the day!

She acquiesced, wondering if she should inform Iemitsu of his son's sudden sense of responsibility.

She decided to leave it.

Even Nana had her own vindictive streak. If her husband wanted to know more about his son, he would have to find out for himself.

Later, after she saw how much money had been added to her account, she made sure to gently persuade the two boys in her house that she didn't want any illegal money.

Ironic considering her husband's questionable occupation.

Spanner and Tsuna were quick to reassure her. Spanner somewhat more hesitantly since hack jobs weren't exactly within the bounds of legality.


	5. Chapter 5

Yamamoto Takeshi.

Tsuna knew of him, of course: baseball star, male idol of Namimori elementary, the one girls went crazy for, and he was still nice enough that the boys flocked around him too.

Tsuna didn't, but then he was Dame-Tsuna and had no rights catching the attention of someone so popular. That did not mean he disliked the boy, just the opposite actually, Yamamoto was truly one of the nicest guys Tsuna had ever known, with a grin that could calm him even after spending an entire night helping Spanner debug a project due the next day.

So he felt somewhat mad when Yamamoto turned up late to school, his arm in a sling and an apologetic chuckle on his lips, and all his class did was pat the tall boy on the shoulder, offering pity and hollow words. What really annoyed him was the way Yamamoto laughed them off and the boys just went with it and left Yamamoto alone when it was so _obvious_ that he didn't want that.

Couldn't they see the way baseball jock's eyes darkened as they turned away or how _off_ his smile looked?

But someone like Dame-Tsuna had no right to interfere.

Or could he still say that after that incident months ago? Though it wasn't like Yamamoto recognised him.

He sighed and settled into nap mode as the homeroom teacher walked in, urging the students back to their seats.

Oh how he wished he could bring his design sketches to work on for Alaire, or the cursed budget spreadsheets for Takarada Co., or even his laptop so he could work on his story. But Tsuna couldn't risk it. The last time he'd bought some sketches to school, they'd been found by his bullies and promptly passed around for the pure purpose of humiliating him, when they saw that he wasn't fazed at having such a 'girly' hobby, they'd ripped the designs to pieces and trashed them. Luckily his phone was always kept in a hidden pocket in his bag or he would have lost it long ago.

Well, Tsuna had resigned himself to the fact that his bullies were cruel, relentless bastards, and it was better him than another student.

With one last glance at Yamamoto, who was looking as his cast with a strangely blank expression, Tsuna released a loud sigh and closed his eyes.

* * *

PE was the worst subject ever invented. Tsuna swore several times over it was there for the pure intention of giving people the chance to blame him. Sure, his hand-eye co-ordination was abysmal, but he hadn't been the only one to miss all the balls.

Tsuna pushed the broom into the ground roughly, kicking up more dust than necessary.

He was supposed to be taking a trip to Tokyo for a meeting today too.

Shaking his head, he furrowed his brow. All he had to do was think of this as a job -albeit, one he had been forced into- and finish it with the professionalism and patience he'd nurtured in the last two years.

"Help has arrived!" The falsely cheerful voice rang on the open field.

"Yamamoto-kun?" Tsuna looked up, surprised.

He watched as the taller boy grinned, another broom in hand.

"You don't have to," he said, shaking his head, bangs brushing against his cheeks as he did so.

"It's fine! I can at least do this much..." Yamamoto trailed off, a flash of something in his eyes before he hid it behind a mask a false cheer. "Let's get to it! Haha."

Tsuna watched as the older boy braced the broom with his good arm and started sweeping.

Seeing that white knuckled grip and an expression no ten year old should have on his face, Tsuna found himself blurting out, "do you want to come with me to Tokyo?"

Yamamoto stopped and looked up to stare at Tsuna in surprise. At least that sickly fake smile wasn't there anymore.

Tsuna fidgeted with his broom, wondering what in the world he was doing. "Uh, it's just for tonight. We'll be back by morning and it'll probably be really boring so you don't have to... I just thought it'd be nice for you to get away for a bit!" He said quickly, embarrassed.

"Okay," Yamamoto agreed, his expression almost blank.

* * *

Yamamoto had agreed on the basis that, well, he didn't really care what happened in his life anymore. Of course he was surprised that the one person he barely talked to in class had offered a trip to another city of all places.

He found that he didn't mind Tsuna's presence. The brunet didn't look at him like he expected something, like he expected him to always be great at baseball, to always be nice and cheerful and _perfect_ , Yamamoto thought bitterly. There was no such thing as perfection, he decided, perfection, was being able to play baseball to everyone's expectations; to uphold his shining record of being the best.

That was gone now, his attempts, his efforts had all amounted to... Yamamoto looked at the cast on his arm and chuckled to himself bitterly. So this was the baseball god's verdict, huh? He shook his head and glanced at Tsuna standing next to him at the school gate, the brunet was talking worriedly at his phone. Well, it looked like a sleek orange block of glass but since Tsuna was talking into it, it had to be a phone, right?

Yamamoto blinked. When did Tsuna get a phone?

Then, the car appeared, skidding to a stop in front of them just as Tsuna released a loud yell.

"WHAT?!"

It was shiny and sleek and blue like Yamamoto's favourite colour.

It also looked nothing like a demure Japanese car.

"Whoa." He really couldn't help but admire it.

He didn't even notice Tsuna getting into the passenger side until a tug on his hand pulled him forward. The brunet was peering up at him with an observant look. "C'mon, Yamamoto-kun."

When he got in, he noticed the inside looked just as sleek as the outside. He also noticed the driver was a blond kid the same age as him.

"We are so going to get in trouble with Hibari-san," Tsuna muttered from where he was buckling in.

"It's fine, even he can't outrun this car," the blond kid said, looking much too bored for someone who Hibari was going to beat up for sure. He started up the car and Yamamoto had to lean back as they began accelerating.

"I think I need my stomach pills..." The red head seated in front of Yamamoto said weakly.

"So who's this?" The blond asked, blue eyed gaze on Yamamoto.

The boy quickly plastered on a grin when he saw the red head peering around the seat at him too. "Hey! I'm Yamamoto Takeshi, I haven't seen you guys around school either. Haha."

Tsuna muttered something Yamamoto couldn't quite catch as the blond and red head introduced themselves as Spanner and Irie Shōichi.

"We don't go to school," Spanner explained. "We take online degrees instead."

Yamamoto just nodded, no clue as to what that was but it sounded cool.

A silence settled over them until Tsuna nudged him and showed him a message on his phone:

_'Relax, they don't know who you are so you don't have to pretend with them.'_

Yamamoto's smile dropped as he looked at Tsuna. Had the brunet always looked that knowing?

* * *

An hour later, Shōichi and Tsuna had taken out a bunch of laptops and managed to convince Yamamoto to join them in a game. Tsuna was relieved to see the tall boy laugh more genuinely, though that mask still remained firmly in place.

Then he noticed something. Actually, he wished he'd noticed sooner.

"This isn't the way to Tokyo."

Spanner and Shōichi looked at him before sharing a glance. Tsuna could almost read what they were thinking at each other as the red head cringed and Spanner winced.

"Uh, haha, did we forget to mention that?" Shōichi said nervously, rubbing the back of his head as he gave Tsuna a strained grin.

Tsuna just gave his friends his best disapproving stare.

"The meeting place changed," Spanner explained helpfully.

Tsuna waited.

"It's not too bad..." Shōichi said, beads of perspiration appearing on his forehead.

"We're heading for Kyoto."

Several drivers honked at the expensive European car as it halted in the middle of the road and a loud 'WHAT?!' echoed from the car. Then the car accelerated in a panic, leaving a cloud of dust.

* * *

Yamamoto grinned, having fun despite himself. The last time he'd been to Kyoto was for a field trip a year ago.

They'd settled in a ryokan in Kyoto, in a large room with traditional tatami and shōji doors, one side opening to the inner courtyard to let in the night breeze. Shōichi, Spanner and Yamamoto were having dinner provided by the ryokan.

He chewed on his sushi, thinking that it was pretty good but it couldn't beat his old man's, then winced as he suddenly remembered he hadn't told him that he wasn't coming home tonight.

"Spanner! Why did you bring that?!"

The taller boy looked up, watching the red head squabble with the blond kid over a really cool looking guitar. The instrument was white with orange flames licking up the side, its metal wires glinted in the light.

"I wanted him to try the new additions I put into it," said Spanner nonchalantly.

Tsuna had gone off to meet whoever he was supposed to meet in Kyoto. Now that Yamamoto thought about it, what did Tsuna in his free time? He hardly knew anything about the boy aside from the rumours at school.

"So, Yamamoto-kun,"

The tall boy glanced up at the red head whom had given up on reasoning with the blond. Shōichi was looking at him with a determinedly set gaze, green eyes firm. Yamamoto felt himself gulp, wondering when the somewhat shy boy had been replaced by a serious batter. He shifted, wondering if this was when they started asking him questions about himself that were completely innocent from anyone's point of view, but were currently nothing but a burden because he wasn't sure himself _who_ he was anymore.

"Will you help us protect Tsuna-san?"

Uh. Yamamoto blinked, staring uncomprehendingly for several moments.

"Bullies are cursed beings," Spanner added from beside Shöichi, where he was slowly chewing through the sushi, guitar propped up next to him. "And he refuses to use the gadgets we gave him." Though Tsuna had been willing to tase adults on the trip, he was still unwilling to do so to kids their age.

Yamamoto didn't know Tsuna, was what he was thinking. The Dame-Tsuna that everyone made fun of at school was completely different to the Tsuna he'd gotten to know on this trip. This Tsuna was a cool guy who was great at video games, who had grumbled but still travelled this far for an appointment, and who had friends who obviously highly treasured him.

Yamamoto felt a foreign emotion well up inside him. And it took a moment for him to realise it was envy. But before he could voice an answer, the door was flung open, bright colours dyeing his vision as silken robes settled to the floor.

A figure stood at the door, donned with bright delicate robes of reds, blues, and splashes of gold lined orange that fluttered to show off bare ankles and feet wearing traditional geta. A ceramic fox mask covered the face.

Yamamoto almost thought it was a spirit until it spoke.

"That's the _last_ time I model for Alaire." The tone was light, lined with frustration, and distinctly familiar.

"Tsuna?"

"What happened?" Spanner asked, acting like nothing was wrong as he continued to dig into his food.

Tsuna stilled before lifting his mask, eyes wide as he pointed accusingly at the guitar next to the blond. "What is _that_ doing here?!" He all but screeched.

"VOIIII! DON'T JUST RUN OFF YOU SHITTY BRAT!"

The three boys covered their ears as someone wearing a tengu mask and navy and silver robes stomped down the shōji doors. His silver hair was done in a topknot, the rest trailing impressively down his shoulders.

Tsuna just turned and stared hard at the other. "The doors were open, you know."

The mask was ripped off, revealing a slender teen with a fierce scowl. And a deafening voice. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT SHIT! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU RUN OFF?!" A blade was suddenly thrust in Tsuna's direction, and waved around wildly.

"Uh, Tsuna-san, what's going on?" Shōichi asked, staring nervously at the weapon.

The brunet sighed, ignored the loud teen's threatening glower, and plopped down next to Yamamoto with a whisper of silk cloth as he grabbed a pair of chopsticks.

"So it went like this..."

* * *

After a quick explanation: he had gone to meet Alaire at the (newly) designated meeting place, only to find himself on the end of a pleading gaze begging him to model because the main models had fallen gravely sick, and Tsuna, being Tsuna, couldn't refuse but they were still lacking someone to model the tengu. Incidentally, this was after Tsuna had tased a teen he'd found threatening some guys at sword-point on his way there and of course he'd dragged the unconscious teen with him because he couldn't just leave the guy lying there. The teen had introduced himself angrily, and loudly, as Squalo soon as he woke up and, of course, protested the outfit he'd been put into while unconscious. Alaire's convincing words ("Voi! He wasn't convincing! He's just too much like that fucking peacock! Did you see the way he was looking at me?!") soon convinced him to model reluctantly next to Tsuna. At this point in the explanation Tsuna turned red and hung his head in shame. And Squalo took over.

"He fucking tripped."

In front of an impressive audience comprised of many elite designers and rich and successful people no less.

Shōichi reached over to pat the brunet on the shoulder in sympathy.

Tsuna turned redder as he mumbled something under his breath.

"He fucking tripped into me, and then everyone had the gall to wolf whistle and laugh like we were some fucking couple!" Squalo spat, banging the table in anger. "VOI! I could kill them all!"

Shōichi certainly hoped that that was just the anger talking and not a true ultimatum.

"Well, it's all over and done with," Spanner said, reaching over to pat Tsuna on the head. "It could have been worse."

Yamamoto chuckled from beside him.

It certainly could have been. Tsuna opted not to mention that he'd accidentally attracted the attention of the local gang when he ran into Squalo.

"Hey, you can use a sword?" Yamamoto asked Squalo, now that the explanation was winding down.

"Of course I can! I'm the best swordsman out there!" Squalo growled. He'd settled at the table to eat during the explanation too, after stripping off most of the robes and undoing the topknot. He didn't get to eat in what was a relatively peaceful setting often, or at least these brats didn't throw shit at him and attempt to murder him. He kept a watchful eye on them though; didn't want to be tased again. The sword sat between him and Yamamoto, sheathless and bare, shining in the light.

"Really? Haha, my old man can use one too," Yamamoto grinned, rubbing the back of his head with his free hand. "I asked him to teach me once but he said I wasn't ready."

Squalo's sharp eyes examined the young boy for a moment before he snorted and rolled his eyes in derision. "Pfft, no shit, you're not even close to ready. Do you even know what the fuck you wanna do with your life?"

Tsuna sent a sharp glance at the swordsteen as Yamamoto let out a sickly grin and shook his head. The baseball jock's gaze settled back onto his cast.

"Yamamoto-kun, you know that no one knows what they will be doing in the future," Tsuna said, keeping a steady gaze on the teen who continued to look at his cast. "Knowing what _you_ want to do is a goal, whether you reach it depends on yourself and your will power. There is no such thing as a smooth path, there's always hurdles, and sometimes those hurdles are so large and overwhelming that they seem impossible."

"Is that so...?" Yamamoto's gaze was dark as it met Tsuna's. "Maybe it's easy for you to spout all these words, you're so great Tsuna, you have friends, and you can do so many things. You've never been in my position before," he said bitterly, normally cheerful voice sharp and biting like a winter rainstorm.

"Maybe not. But I do know the Yamamoto-kun in front of me is the real one, the one who holds his pain and smiles despite it. The one who plays at the park, alone and determined to better himself. The one who gets along with everyone and can calm me just by being happy and cheerful. In the end, I admire Yamamoto-kun, who is dedicated to the things he loves best."

"And I loved baseball!" Yamamoto yelled, standing up abruptly and almost knocking over the table. He grit his teeth, his free hand curling into a fist as his side, the other sitting in its sling, unable to move. "I loved it so much... And the baseball god threw me away..." He shifted his broken arm as he looked off to the side, feeling tears sting his eyes as he closed them, refusing to look at the world. "And I have nothing to live for now."

"VOIIII! The fuck you don't!"

"Squalo!" Tsuna grabbed the teen, to stop him from attempting to slice the other boy. Peering around the flailing teen. Tsuna gave the boy a frown of his own. "I agree with Squalo, you have plenty to live for. So what if the baseball god threw you away?" Seeing Yamamoto about to voice his protest, Tsuna ploughed on. "Baseball isn't the only thing in your life, Yamamoto-kun. And if you think it is then you need to open your eyes."

"I can help you open your eyes, boy." Yamamoto stilled as both Squalo and Tsuna froze in front of him, staring past him to where the deep threatening voice had come from. Yamamoto recalled too late that the doors opening to the courtyard were behind him.

Yamamoto turned slowly, eyes widening at the sight of a gun pointed directly at his face.

Several things happened at once.

Tsuna ran forward, recklessly yelling out Yamamoto's name,.

A gun shot rang out.

Squalo was suddenly there, sword thrust into the man's gut.

Yamamoto felt himself fall.

And sound started again.

Shōichi was there, panicking over Tsuna who lay on top of Yamamoto. Spanner had grabbed a cloth and was trying to staunch the blood flow, but even the unflappable blond was trembling.

Yamamoto stared at the blood dripping out of the brunet with quivering eyes.

The brunet was clutching at his shoulder where the bullet had gone through, and despite his pain he still offered the taller boy a shaky smile.

Tsuna had pushed him aside.

Tsuna had gotten hurt trying to protect him. Trying to protect Yamamoto even though Yamamoto had said he didn't have anything to live for.

"...owe me one." Tsuna muttered jokingly, before collapsing.

Shōichi yelled, panicking. Yamamoto's eyes widened and he sat up, trying to wake Tsuna too.

"VOIII!" They flinched as Squalo let out his signature yell. "Stop panicking you brats!" The silveret stomped over from where the other man now lay on the ground, unconscious. Or so they hoped, none of the boys were really concerned about that right now.

Squalo took a quick note of the damage, his captaining instincts kicking in. All the brats but but Tsuna looked fine, even Yamamoto. He would have to be quick about that wound though, it was bleeding out fast not to mention that there were a few more men out there. Squalo couldn't tell if the men were from his target or some random other group but he would make sure they all went to hell for involving a couple of brats.

Assessing the kids, he lifted Tsuna off Yamamoto and gave the taller boy a look. "You said you wanted to learn the sword right?" The boy nodded numbly. "Did you see how I stabbed the guy?" Another nod. Squalo let out a wicked grin and handed his sword and a spare ring to Yamamoto's good hand. "Good, then stand guard at the door and stab anyone who tries to get in." When the boy continued to stare numbly, Squalo roared in his face, and Yamamoto scrambled up. Spanner grabbed his shoulder, the guitar in hand as he said, "I'll help."

As soon as the two brats left, Squalo bent down next to Shōichi and took out one of the ring's he'd taken from his last target. He'd already noticed the red head's affinity. The boy had a death grip on the cloth staunching Tsuna's wound, his trembling gaze settled on the brunet's deathly pale features.

"How badly do you want to save him?"

Shōichi looked up, startled, giving Squalo a look that almost said, _'what type of question is that?! Of course I want to save him!'_ But the red head was numb to his core and his throat was too constricted to let out any sound.

The silveret let the offending look slide, and pressed the ring into the red head's bloody hand. "Channel that desperation into this, and you should be able to help him." Squalo said, voice uncharacteristically serious. Usually he'd be going ballistic at having to deal with all this shit and leave the brats as he chased down the enemy, but Squalo did have a sense of responsibility -he never would have run Varia well in Xanxus' absence otherwise- and though he would never admit anything of the sort; he was more lenient toward kids. (At least until he met Fran and Bel a few years later.)

Shōichi wanted to ask what the hell the older teen meant but he really didn't care right now. What he wanted most was for Tsuna-san to open his eyes again, to be bright and cheerful and bring light into his day like no one else could. Tsuna enticed his need to invent, his need to build, his full freedom of thought like no other. And Shōichi would never let him die.

The ring flared.

And Squalo had an instant to gape at how bright and clear the whisper of yellow flame was before he had to cover his eyes as it blinded him.

* * *

On Yamamoto and Spanner's end, the blond was busy tuning the guitar, having connected the socket. Yamamoto stood beside him, his fee hand donning the ring and gripping the sword tightly, his hazel eyes were set determinedly.

Yamamoto's eyes had certainly opened. If Tsuna was so willing to risk himself to save him then Yamamoto couldn't do any less in making sure to save Tsuna too. What was he thinking? Tsuna was right. The baseball god hadn't abandoned him, he'd abandoned himself. Yamamoto felt a grin, familiar and at the same time foreign, settle on his lips. Tsuna was right, and really, right now, that was all he needed.

"Want a lollipop?"

Yamamoto blinked at the red, strangely shaped candy offered to him by the blond who quirked a smile at him. There was a white stick in his mouth too. "Uh, sure!" Yamamoto grinned, reaching out to take the candy only to freeze and lean back as a bullet flew past.

Spanner's eyes narrowed as Yamamoto straightened, hefting up the long sword that was just a bit too big for his small form. "Haha, maybe later." Spanner nodded. Yamamoto kind of wished his other arm wasn't broken right now but he supposed he had to work with tha-

A bright flare of yellow flame caught them unawares. A few shouts from outside in the courtyard told them that the enemy had been just as surprised. When they'd blinked back the spots from their vision Yamamoto felt better than ever and that dull ache from his arm was gone too. Flexing his hand, he grinned and tore off the white sling. "Awesome!"

Spanner readied the guitar in front of himself.

"Sorry if I'm bad."

That should have been a warning in and of itself.

* * *

Tsuna woke to the most horrible sounds he'd ever heard in his life and almost wished he hadn't woken in the first place. Except that the jarring notes were just so bad that he wanted to tear them apart.

"VOIIIII, YOU FUCKING SUCK!" Ah yes, Squalo's deafening roar certainly added to the cacophony.

"Tsuna-san!" Shōichi was staring down at him with a tear stained and weary but relieved expression on his face.

Tsuna sat up slowly, feeling a dull ache in his shoulder. "What's happen-"

He shouldn't have asked. No, scratch that, he shouldn't have woken up.

Through the now-non-existent-shoji doors that led out to the back courtyard he could see Spanner with his guitar obviously making the horrible screeching sounds that set Tsuna's teeth on edge. Tsuna concluded that the sounds were so bad that they'd paralysed the dangerous looking men in the courtyard who were struggling to point their guns -why the hell were there guns in Japan?!- at... Was that Yamamoto? The ten year old boy was wielding a freaking sword that was engulfed in blue fire as he knocked down man after man with a cheerful grin on his face, unaffected by the sounds. And Squalo was there too, sheer willpower making him move as he knocked the other men out with practiced ease with another sword he got from who knows where, all the while screaming insults at Spanner.

"I'm going to wake up and everything will be normal," Tsuna said with conviction.

That didn't happen of course.

When Tsuna discovered just how inevitable his situation was, he decided to deal with the stupid sounds first and ask questions after everything stopped being even weirder than normal. How did Spanner even manage to do that with his electric guitar?!

Stomping over and grabbing the guitar off Spanner, Tsuna strummed a few notes, immediately replacing the dissonance with a soft metallic melody. He hummed along, closing his eyes as he basked in the joy of creating much needed soothing music and trying his best to ignore the nonsense going on around him. After a beat -or was it a few minutes?- later, Tsuna opened his eyes.

And resisted the urge to sob.

Why did everyone else get to fall asleep but him?

Oh well, at least everyone had stopped being ridiculous.

* * *

Squalo took the suspicious armed guys with an even more suspicious looking truck driven by a suspicious man with spiky hair and bad facial hair.

Tsuna was curious, but he thought it better not to ask _why_ they'd been targeted in the first place. Just as a precaution. He didn't want to be recruited by a gang after all.

Which was why he'd refused Squalo's 'offer' too.

"Voi! Hey brat, you've got the makings of a decent Varia member." Because Tsuna had a great tendency to knock people out randomly. "Wanna come with?"

"No." Tsuna had replied blandly. Did he even want to know what the Varia were? He also refused in his friends steads when the silveret expressed interest in recruiting them too.

The people in the Ryokan believed that they'd all had a bad dream involving horrible music, swords and men with guns since Tsuna had put everyone in the vicinity to sleep with his music.

Spanner also finally got around to explaining what he'd done to Tsuna's guitar.

"I adjusted the effects of the sound waves it emits to resonate deep within the cochlear and affect the semicircular canals and the vestibular apparatus in the ears. It was supposed to work on adults only, but I guess I need to adjust it to your play style and singing."

Tsuna stared and then said, "I have no idea what you just said but you are not to play my guitar ever again."

Yamamoto grinned, completely refreshed and feeling as if he were new again. "I didn't get what he said either, haha."

Tsuna glanced at the taller boy, before smiling happily at what he saw. "Should we start again?" At Yamamoto's confused look Tsuna grinned and said, "I am Sawada Tsunayoshi, Tsuna for short. I like to play games in my free time and I love my friends." Tsuna turned a little red as he ducked into a bow.

Spanner joined in next. "I'm Spanner, I come from England but I love Japan. My hobbies are inventing and I hack for a living." He held out a lollipop.

"I'm Irie Shōichi, and I like to invent too, I design gadgets in my spare time," the red head added last looking up at the taller boy with a sincere smile.

Yamamoto's face cleared and he grinned. "I'm Yamamoto Takeshi! Call me Takeshi, okay? I love baseball and," he took a quick glance at the blade Squalo had left with him, "swords! But I think I'd treasure my friends the most!"

"You mean you'll treasure us the most," Spanner said, shoving the candy into Yamamoto's mouth. The taller boy just nodded cheerfully.

Tsuna grinned and tackled the boy in a hug.

Yamamoto chuckled as he hugged Tsuna back.

He may not know these guys, but he could always learn.

* * *

To say that Tsuna's classmates were surprised when Yamamoto and the brunet walked in together, four hours late for school would be an understatement.

And it wasn't because they were black and blue from being bitten to death by Hibari.

The rumours spread like wild fire but Tsuna chose to ignore them. Yamamoto followed his example. He'd vowed to himself that he would only follow his own values now, and no longer be dragged along with everyone else like a blind lamb.

And so Tsuna's life returned to normal, except for one thing, his bullies didn't bother him as much with Yama- Takeshi sticking to him like glue. Tsuna couldn't find it in himself to be annoyed either because of how cheerful the taller boy now looked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cochlear, semicircular canals and vestibular apparatus are located deep in the ear and contribute to human's balance and spatial orientation. It is not as developed in children as in adults. Basically Tsuna's guitar paralyses everyone. (Although, now that I actually know how it works, the real effect probably should have been drunken stumbling about, but oh well.)


	6. Chapter 6

Tsuna was doing his morning rounds one day when he decided to check if his work bore fruit.

"EXTREEEEME LIL' BRO!"

Tsuna smiled, already used to Ryohei running enthusiastically next to his bike after doing this for two years. The boy was a grade above him, with short cropped white hair and a fervent love for boxing. He always jogged in the mornings before school, and since that was when Tsuna did his rounds, they met up often. For some reason the other thought that he was EXTREME for waking up early every morning and decided to adopt him even though Ryohei clearly didn't know who he was since Tsuna had not once been accosted in school despite passing the boy a few times. As for what he would be accosted for, well...

"YOU SHOULD JOIN THE BOXING CLUB I'LL DEFINITELY MAKE!"

Tsuna had no doubts that his senpai would. If by sheer willpower. Tsuna tugged at his cap with a hand, and offered a shy smile. "Sorry, Onii-san, but I don't have any interest in it."

Ryohei just grinned. "THEN I'LL MAKE YOU INTERESTED TO THE EXTREME!"

Tsuna winced and sighed, knowing there was just nothing he could do about getting the message across.

"AH, I'M HERE." Ryohei skidded to a stop at a corner and grinned at the brunet. "I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW LIL' BRO."

Tsuna tilted his cap and offered a wave. "Bye, Onii-san!"

Continuing down the road, letting the machine in front of him throw newspapers into passing mailboxes with complete accuracy, Tsuna hummed to himself, enjoying the peaceful silence again as he finished his neighbourhood rounds.

When he was done, he headed downtown, where the streets were much busier. But instead of heading for the small road down which Brown-san's store resided, he headed up the main road.

He wanted to check on something.

Arriving, Tsuna stopped and stared at the shiny new shopping complex before breaking out into an ecstatic grin.

Yes!

* * *

Takeshi had easily gotten used to Shōichi and Spanner's quirks, they were really enthusiastic when it came to ideas and gadgets and easily entered into conversation that neither he nor Tsuna were able to follow completely. Spanner also had a habit of muttering to himself in English when he was really focused.

As did Tsuna when he was sometimes drawing on large pieces of paper or typing on his laptop. Though Takeshi wasn't sure if the brunet was speaking English.

They often met up after school to go to Brown-san's. Spanner and Shōichi had quickly explained that Tsuna worked, which Takeshi thought was awesome. Sure, he helped out at his dad's store, but that was different. Though as of yet, he wasn't sure exactly what Tsuna's job was.

Really, Tsuna seemed like an ordinary, and adorable ten year old kid who had amazing insight and was kinder than anyone.

So he was kind of surprised to suddenly be kidnapped by the newspaper delivery kid on his way to school.

That being said, Takeshi also thought the newspaper delivery kid was pretty cool after an incident last year where he'd been practicing baseball alone at the park one morning. The incident involved a baseball, a newspaper shooting machine and an unfortunate accident that had Yamamoto suddenly batting rapid-fire newspapers. The kid was upset, but more over Takeshi's health than the fact that he'd lost all his papers. Takeshi had been fine so they shared an awkward laugh, shook hands and gathered up the stray papers so that the kid could return to doing his job. Since then, Takeshi always made sure to greet the kid when he rode by.

So he was even more surprised to find out that the kid was actually Tsuna. (And kind of upset because he could have gotten to know the brunet earlier in that case.)

"Whoa, haha, I never recognised you Tsuna!"

Tsuna looked really happy, his eyes shone and his cheeks were flushed. His cap would have flown off at the speed he was riding had he not kept one hand on it. "Morning Takeshi!" He called, apparently not hearing him. "It's a great morning isn't it?!"

Takeshi just grinned, Tsuna was emitting a giddy aura that made him want to join in.

They skidded to a stop at a normal house. Tsuna was dashing up the porch before Takeshi even registered that they'd stopped, letting himself in with a greeting and within a minute had a half awake Shōichi who'd obviously spent the night sleeping in the clothes he had on, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Tsuna also had a metal case which he set out into another bike and attached it to the back of his in record speed before jumping onto the front and racing off. Yamamoto took the back half supporting the red head.

Next stop was Tsuna's house where the brunet grabbed a slightly more awake Spanner and dragged him along too.

And then they raced to the downtown area where the stores had opened, and traffic was thicker. Tsuna weaved through expertly and stopped in front of the new shopping centre in the market area that had yet to be opened. It advertised the opening time as that weekend.

Tsuna parked the double bike and they got off. He quickly packed them back into their case forms before dragging everyone to a side entrance. He punched in a code and the door beeped open for them.

Tsuna was almost skipping as he led the way to a wall which slid open to reveal a lift and took out a keycard which he inserted into the slot. The top floor lit up and the lift started moving, so smoothly it felt almost like it wasn't.

By this time the other three were completely awake and dying of curiosity.

Then they got to the top floor.

It was floor to ceiling glass on all sides, showing off the quiet suburb of Namimori. It wasn't exactly skyscraper tall; Namimori wasn't big enough to need such a big shopping centre but the building still stood well over any others.

The centre of the floor had the rooms. Plenty of bedrooms, a fully functioning kitchen and a dining room, a living room slash games room, a music room, and a what Tsuna dubbed as the 'gadgets room' which he made sure was large. There were a bunch of empty rooms too.

"We've also got the basement levels under the car park," Tsuna said, chattering away cheerfully. "It's probably best to do the dangerous experiments down there since I asked the builders to make sure it was reinforced with the best materials and it should be near indestructible." Tsuna stopped and added with a knowing glance at Spanner, "like our car." The blond grinned.

"You can go up to the roof too, there's a pool there, and a garden and greenhouse," Tsuna finished with a flourish. Looking expectantly at his friends, he asked, "any questions?"

"We get _all_ this space?!" Shōichi bust out, incredulous.

"Yep, I adjusted the building plans for the extra floors and the secret lift a few years ago. I can't believe it's finally done!" Tsuna lifted his arms in fervour, grin as wide at the sky. "You have no idea how much stuff went wrong during construction! It was a headache and a half I tell you!"

"And we can finally move your mess away from Brown-san's place and you can even generate more mess and it'll be so great!" Tsuna was practically jumping in glee. "We can even move our car! Ah, but pay for your own materials and stuff. I had to pay the extra costs for these personal additions too." Which had not been cheap, but then Tsuna was the stand-in CEO for Takarada so his pay covered it and he still had plenty left in his savings from the last two years.

Shōichi was tearing up, too moved to bother being insulted at his stuff being called a 'mess' again as he hugged Tsuna. "Thanks, Tsuna-san."

Spanner offered a hug too, and Takeshi was pulled in, unsure of what exactly was going on but he really didn't care as long as Tsuna was happy.

* * *

Hibari Kyoya was a terrifying force of nature. No one would dispute that.

And if they did they would end up exactly like the multitude of yakuza members that lay groaning in front of the boy.

Hibari grunted, his blood thirsty gaze returning to an indifferent one now that all the herbivores had been thoroughly bitten to death.

He would have to get Kusakabe here to clean up.

Recalling the thing they'd dared to take from him to try drawing him out, he made sure to step on the men particularly hard as he started walking down the old worn stairs.

Now that he thought of it, these herbivores had been chasing another herbivore when he'd arrived. That herbivore was gone now. Hibari shrugged.

One of the men who was still conscious, staggered upward, a gun in hand. The Yakuza had strict policies concerning firearms and pointing them at civilians -and Hibari was still that despite being demonically violent. This man was too angry to care as he aimed for the small retreating back, finger on the trigger.

Hibari, his battles senses flaring, turned, his eyes narrowing at the sight of the illegal firearm.

The man fell and knocked his head against the stone stairs as something heavy dropped onto his back.

Only a slight widening of Hibari's eyes showed his surprise at the boy who stood on the man. The boy wore a yukata dyed in autumn colours and a fox mask, the red markings on it standing out from the white. Two lit lanterns on a stick swung behind him, throwing shadows around. And a familiar yellow poof ball sat perched in his wild hair.

Hibari's eyes narrowed at the last item.

The fox jumped off the man and kicked the gun away before turning to Hibari.

The yellow puff flew off the boy's head and to Hibari, chirping cheerfully. "Hibari! Hibari! Fox save Hibird!"

The not-yet-a-prefect lowered his hostile aura as the bird landed on his head, snuggling comfortably into his hair. He continued to watch the fox who kept a wary distance away.

Hibari stepped forward.

The fox tensed, but didn't back away.

Another step.

Hibari did not go to anyone, being the independent child he was. But he did understand when he owed someone and this herbi- foxes were scavengers weren't they?- then, omnivore (only Hibari was allowed to be the carnivore in this city) had not only protected what was his but had also stopped that yakuza from firing a gun at him, though he had no doubt he could have avoided it.

Another few steps had the boy in front of the fox, who was slightly shorter than him. Hibari paused, wondering how one went about this when the fox moved first.

It unhooked one of its lanterns and held it out to him.

Hibari stared at it for a few seconds before taking it, his slim fingers brushing against the fox's warm ones for a moment before the lantern was relinquished to him. The paper side had two intricate birds painted on it, and a flame flickered in its centre.

"Your parents, Hibari-san."

Hibari's head shot up to find the fox gone. The boy's face twisted in a scowl.

He refused to participate in the herbivorous Obon festival.

* * *

Sometimes, Tsuna wondered why he let his friends drag him along to these sorts of things.

Probably because he had no say whatsoever when it came to all this nonsense.

Again, it was Spanner's fault. And Takeshi's for encouraging the blond.

Tsuna thought it was bad enough when they'd gone to the Obon festival (due to the blond's love for all things Japanese no less) and he had the pleasure of meeting Hibari -thank god he had that mask- But this trumped it.

Ninja training. Really, Spanner? Where did the blond even find this program?

The sensei didn't even look Japanese!

"Whoa, haha, damn!" Takeshi emerged cheerfully from behind a thick tree trunk, a shuriken barely missing the young boy.

"Gotta do better than that, kora! You'll never find me at this rate!" The loud voice of their sensei blasted from the above canopy.

Incidentally, their sensei was about a foot tall, wore a pacifier and, let him reiterate, was definitely _not_ Japanese.

Tsuna sighed and quickly swung down from his branch just as a row of kunai embedded into the trunk.

He grumbled inside his mind as he leapt into the next tree as a large breeze blew by, making sure to match his pace with that of the rustling leaves.

Two weeks. Two weeks out of their short winter break being used for this crazy training camp that was falsely advertised as 'recreational'.

After the fifty second time Tsuna fell into that freezing cold lake while trying to learn to balance on thin stalks of bamboo, he was sure that this was _torture_.

Takeshi held up well, but then Takeshi also leaned kendo from his father. Plus, he still played baseball. He was probably the only one who was athletically inclined enough to survive this hellish camp.

Spanner just got a kick out of wearing their uniforms; freaking ninja costumes. Tsuna still wasn't sure if making them in exchange for the custom drawing tablet was worth it.

Tsuna stilled, crouching on the sturdy tree branch as his eyes shifted around. There. He threw one of the many shuriken he'd kept on his person. Especially after the first night where Colonnello-sensei had literally barged in, beat them up, and proceeded to tell them that they must always be prepared.

And did the same the successive nights after that.

At the rate this was going, Tsuna was going to be paranoid for life.

There was a clang of metal meeting metal and a flash of blond hair and pearly white teeth. "Not bad, kora! But you still haven't caught me!"

Tsuna smiled angelically, flicking his wrist. The invisible wires, courtesy of Shōichi, activated a series of needles, tipped with neurotoxin. They flew to where the baby was.

Colonnello jumped out of the way, and into a net of the invisible wires. The baby was quick to slice through them, leaping to the ground below with a pleased smirk. "Not yet, kora!"

Another batch of needles pierced the ground as Colonnello leapt up, and into a shocking tidal wave of water. Electricity ran through another wire and into the water.

Tsuna leapt out of his tree, a knife in hand (firearms weren't permitted, so he couldn't use his taser gun, ironic considering Colonnello-sensei's love for his guns) and Takeshi emerged from where he'd made the wave. Spanner's head popped out, upside down from where he sat with his legs swung over a branch with a device in his hand. Shōichi emerged from behind a tree, another device in hand in case their sensei made it.

Six days in had taught them a lot about underestimating their baby teacher.

There was a bright blue flash as the water splashed loudly against the ground. And their Colonnello-sensei emerged, wet but without a scratch. He grinned at them. "That was great, kora! I'll let you take it before Shōichi there decides to set off the explosives."

The red head sighed in relief, with a little hint of disappointment as he wouldn't get to try out his new invention.

"Now let's move onto hand to hand! Kora!"

Tsuna and Shōichi shared a quiet groan. They weren't even sure how they would survive this 'recreational' camp.

* * *

"I feel like someone's watching me at school," Tsuna announced one day.

He, Shōichi, Spanner and Takeshi were at the Takezushi after school, sharing a large serving of sushi. Takeshi's father, Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, was more than happy to welcome the kids after seeing his son's genuine smile upon his return from the overnight trip.

Incidentally, Tsuna had called the shop from Kyoto when everyone was asleep to tell the older man what happened to his son that time. Tsuyoshi grinned, the brunet had a good sense of responsibility.

"Hm, who, Tsuna?" Takeshi asked.

Tsuna tilted his head, his lips pursed in thought.

"Well, it could be just me being paranoid. I mean, after that 'ninja training' camp," the brunet shot a glare at the blond who grinned in retaliation, "I've actually got a habit of hiding weapons on me! How absurd is that!"

Takeshi grinned. "It was fun, wasn't it? Colonnello-sensei even said we're ready to be real ninja!"

"Aren't real ninja just assassins?" Shōichi muttered.

"I hope you boys aren't going for a career in crime," Yamamoto-san commented with a chuckle. He was completely serious, of course.

Spanner shrugged while Shōichi rubbed the back of his head guiltily. The two tried to make sure that their hacking jobs weren't for evil means but hacking itself was considered illegal.

"Haha, I'll follow whatever Tsuna chooses to do!" Takeshi said with a firm nod.

"What?! I thought you were going into professional baseball!" Tsuna cried in protest and could only stare in horror as Shōichi and Spanner nodded to the baseball star's words.

"Seriously?! Guys!"

Yamamoto Tsuyoshi joined the boys laughter at the brunet's expense as he ruffled that crazy unruly mop of brown hair. "It seems I'll be leaving my Takeshi in your care, he's a bit of an airhead so please treat him kindly," he said fondly. After all, Tsuna had gotten his son's smile back and gave him a determination that he'd been unable to refuse when his son came back, bowed in seiza and begged to learn the sword off him.

"Dad!" But Takeshi was grinning, taking no offence.

Tsuna blushed fervently as he ducked his head. Then he gave a loud sigh before looking up with a smile, his expression resigned but tenderly fond.

"I will."

Later, he would punch Spanner for saying it was like the scene of a father handing his daughter off to be married.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a quiet and lazy weekend when Tsuna got landed in his next impromptu job. He'd actually sworn off getting anymore because his workload was bad enough as it was but this one kind of landed on him. Literally.

He and Spanner were heading downtown to their base when a little girl's voice cried out from behind them.

"Kitty!"

That was the only warning Tsuna had before he face-planted on the ground as something tackled him. Small hands came up to circle his head in a hug and a cheek started rubbing itself into his hair.

Spanner snickered from the side as he observed the little girl, about two years old with cerulean blue eyes and short cropped dark green hair with a longer tail tied at the nape. She wore a little white dress and was cuddling Tsuna like no tomorrow.

Tsuna eventually managed to pick himself up but really couldn't do much about the baby girl who clung to him and continued to call him 'Kitty'.

Spanner was holding his stomach, gasping as he tried to catch his breath. Another glance at Tsuna who was holding the girl, and the girl who was patting Tsuna's hair as if he really were a cat, had Spanner rolling on the ground in laughter again.

The brunet wisely chose to ignore his friend and asked the girl for her name instead.

"It's Yuni! I'm two." She held up two little fingers, her large eyes crinkling up in a smile.

"I'm Sawada Tsunayoshi, just call me Tsuna, Yuni-chan." _Please._

"Tsuna is Kitty!"

_Damn_.

"Oh gosh! She's killing me here-!" Spanner barely managed to gasp between peals of laughter.

Tsuna hoped he died painfully.

_"Princess!"_

Tsuna blinked at the tall blond man who ran up to them, also out of breath, but for an entirely different reason compared to Spanner. He was wearing a crisp suit, his hair slightly dishevelled from its usual slicked back look. He'd also just called the girl 'princess' in Italian.

"Look, Gamma! I found a kitty! His name is Tsuna!" The girl bounced in Tsuna's arms before hugging the boy again.

The blond, Gamma, looked at him with a sharp gaze which Tsuna returned with a blank one. He'd had plenty of encounters with people with more intimidating gazes who thought they could stare him into submission, especially at the company.

The gaze turned into a pitying one as the blond rubbed a hand through his hair, straightened to full height before offering the brunet a bow. "Apologies for the Princess' enthusiasm, I shall take her off your hands," he said in slightly accented Japanese.

"No!" Yuni said, her lips pursed in a stubborn pout as she clung to Tsuna's shirt. "I want to stay with Kitty!"

"Well if it isn't too much trouble..." A woman came up from behind the blond at a leisurely pace. She had the same eyes as Yuni and wore a red business shirt. "Do you two boys mind taking care of my daughter for the day? I'm running late for a meeting and I know her stubborn look when I see it." She looked at them, a slight pleading tone in her voice.

"Uh..." Tsuna blinked, he'd never taken care of children before.

"Aria-sama!" The blond protested.

"Its fine Gamma, they'll do a fine job of taking care of Yuni." She gave Tsuna and Spanner a knowing look before writing down her number on a business card and handing it to the brunet. "You'll be paid, of course. Now, I'll trust Yuni in your care."

Tsuna and Spanner stared dumbfounded as the Gamma and Aria left before looking at each other, and then to the little girl in Tsuna's arms who blinked back at them with her large curious eyes.

* * *

Tsuna stared at the cat ears dubiously. Where had they even come from?

Then he asked himself the important question: His pride or the little girl?

Yuni peered up at him with her large pleading doe eyes. Her upper lip starting to wobble.

Girl it is.

Tsuna took the ears. He was so going to regret this.

He was quick to snatch another pair and put them on Spanner as soon as the blond released a snort.

* * *

The ninja training certainly paid off.

They were agile and flexible enough to catch the girl when she lost her balance. Although Tsuna did wonder if this obsession with cats was healthy as they followed another neighbourhood stray.

It was a patchy tabby cat this time, walking along the metal fence. Yuni was after it, balancing in her little shoes, Tsuna came after her, doing the same in his newly acquired cat ears.

Spanner, sensibly and for safety purposes, chose to stay on the footpath beside them. He still had his cat ears after a rather endearing pout from Tsuna for trying to take them off.

The tabby cat stopped. So did Yuni and Tsuna. Then, the cat leapt onto a house's roof. Yuni was quick to leap after it. Tsuna grabbed her, knowing she wouldn't make it, as he jumped onto the roof. Spanner sighed as he scaled the fence and joined them.

Tsuna expected the girl to go right back to following the cat but she didn't. Instead, she stopped and hugged Tsuna's side.

"Oh my, what a surprise to see you here, Tsuna-chan~"

Tsuna turned slowly, recognising the tone even though it must have been three years since he heard it.

"Byakuran-san?"

Indeed, it was the white haired boy from before. He was taller now and stood near the edge of the other side of the roof with his hands in the pockets of his torn white jeans. He still had that strange tattoo under one eye and smiled like a sly fox.

"It's been awhile, hasn't it Tsu-chan? I love your designs~" The white haired boy held his arms out, and Tsuna suddenly recognised the clothes as those from the casual range that he'd designed.

He blushed and ducked his head, scratching one cheek shyly. "Um, thank you."

He resisted the urge to scream as Byakuran was suddenly in from of him, scrutinising him from way too close.

"As I thought, you're much cuter Tsu-chan."

Several things happened at once.

Byakuran leaned forward to peck him on the cheek.

Yuni pulled on Tsuna, yelling, "No! Kitty is mine!"

Spanner reached out to grab Tsuna, unnerved by Byakuran's sudden appearance.

"OI! What the hell are you kids doing on my roof?!" The owner of the house had also appeared.

And they all forgot that they stood near the edge and Tsuna only had time to grab Byakuran by reflex as they fell off the roof.

* * *

Someone's lips were on his, was Tsuna's first thought after their dizzying descent. He couldn't actually see anything because leaves were in his eyes.

"Hey! Are you kids okay?! What the hell were you doing?!"

The one on Tsuna moved off as he blushed brightly. He sat up and got out of the bushes to find Yuni, Spanner and Byakuran looking unharmed, if slightly dishevelled. Tsuna fixed his ears and wiped his mouth. Spanner was releasing leaves from his clothes, Byakuran was shaking them out of his hair, and Yuni ran up to Tsuna to hug him. Tsuna picked her up wondering who he'd kissed inadvertently before shaking his head. It wasn't like it mattered, right?

They apologised to the owner saying they were fine before they left the yard, the owner's weird look at the cat ears following them out.

"Only you would get me into such situations, Tsu-chan," Byakuran said cryptically, brushing dirt off his clothes, before joining them for dinner at a restaurant.

Yuni was eager to feed Tsuna, much to Spanner's and Byakuran's amusement.

Yep, Tsuna was never going to babysit again.

* * *

He really did regret wearing those cat ears.

Especially after finding photos of himself in them in the hands of some of his bullies.

Even Spanner's excuse; "I wanted them to see how cute you are" did nothing to alleviate Tsuna's cloud of doom as he promptly disabled the blond's cameras and banned lollipops for a month. It would have been longer if Spanner's withdrawal symptoms hadn't made him take pity.

Now some of his bullies avoided him. Others had taken it upon themselves to try bullying him into putting on cat ears while he was alone.

Which was how he found out that Hibari had one of his photos too.

Tsuna watched it flutter out of the older child's jacket with horror as Hibari proceeded to beat the crap out of the three bullies that had cornered him.

When Hibari was done, and turned to find Tsuna holding a photo of himself being all small and cute and fluffy for Yuni, the grade schooler held out his hand expectantly, his expression blank.

Tsuna looked from the photo to the hand several times, disbelief clouding his fear as he yelled, "Isn't this a violation of privacy?!"

Predictably, he was bitten to death for yelling at Hibari.

* * *

"Chiavarone...? Cavallone? And... Bovino?" Tsuna read the insignias on the email with a furrowed brow over Spanner's shoulder.

"Yep, looks like they're mafia famiglie."

Tsuna turned to the blond accusingly.

Spanner held up his hands in defence. "I promise you, they're not the bad types."

"They're mafia. M-A-F-I-A." Tsuna sounded out blandly.

"Yeah but they want me to look into a possible kidnapping of some kid."

"Really?" Tsuna was sceptical. Why the hell would the mafia want to pay Spanner, a hacker, to search for a lost child when they surely had more able bodied and capable men for such a job?

"Yep, so I was wondering if you'd come with me to China where I last traced him."

"Now why in the world would I want to do that?" The brunet drawled slowly.

Bad question Tsuna. And he knew he was terrible at refusing others.

* * *

"This was a horrible idea," Tsuna stated, rubbing his temples in consternation,

"I think it was fun. Haha." It was typical of Takeshi to say such a thing.

The base they'd invaded was threatening to collapse at any minute, the cement walls broken, furniture scattered and triads strewn everywhere, unconscious thanks to Tsuna's taser gun and Takeshi's sword.

Takeshi cut through the ropes holding the two kids hostage. As soon as he did, the little girl with the plaited pigtail ran to Tsuna and hugged him tearfully while the boy, one with curly hair and wearing a cow-print body suit, rubbed his sore wrists and sniffled. "To-ler-ate-!"

"I-pin, what are you doing here?"

_"I-pin came with the broccoli monster! Bad men came and took us away! I-pin could not fight them all..."_ The little girl trailed off in Mandarin, too distraught to remember speaking in Japanese. She looked down and clutched the hem of her red robes.

Tsuna gathered the girl up and into a hug. _"It's not your fault, I-pin,"_ he reassured in accented Mandarin. The girl nodded silently and clung to Tsuna as the boy turned to the other child. He crouched down and smiled at the tearful boy. He wondered if he was supposed to speak in Mandarin too, but the boy had spoken in Japanese before so... "Hello, I'm Tsuna and that's Takeshi. You're Lambo, right?"

Lambo stared up the older boys who'd literally crashed into his scary world in the truck that now half hung inside the building. He quickly wiped his nose and leapt up. "I'm Lambo and you must call me Lambo-san! You have permission to take care of Lambo!" Despite the way he puffed up his chest, his bottom lip trembled in the effort it took not to cry. It had been a horrifying ordeal for such a young child.

Tsuna smiled at the proffered hand and took it gently. "It's nice to meet you, Lambo. You are really strong," he said softly.

Tsuna evoked a feeling in Lambo the boy had not felt in a long time. He associated it with soft scents and warm arms wrapped around him, keeping him from all harm. And Lambo suddenly found himself unable to hold it. He leapt at Tsuna and wailed into his shirt next to I-pin.

After he had shushed both the children in his arms, he turned to Takeshi who grinned at him.

"So, Tsuna, what do we do about the truck?" The taller boy jerked a thumb at the massive machine.

Tsuna face-palmed. He didn't want to be reminded of the cursed thing.

That would also be the last time he let Takeshi drive.

* * *

So the two kids they picked up proved exactly how strong and crazy they were 0.5 hours later when they ran into another triad group coming to the one they'd just defeated's aid.

Tsuna didn't even know how it was possible since their escape route had been by parkour over the roofs of the many tall buildings in Beijing. This group had come in helicopters, armed to the teeth.

Apparently, now free from any bindings, Lambo and I-pin felt rather strongly about getting revenge for their terrifying ordeal.

Tsuna kind of just stood there, wondering if they were bullet proof as the helicopters blew up from _pink_ grenades, no less, and intimidating armed men flailed in the air under the influence of the _snacks_ I-pin had in her pocket.

Takeshi cheerfully diced up burning helicopter while Spanner yelled, "leave one of the copters intact!"

Shōichi sighed and got the first aid supplies out.

When the fight died down, their side winning of course. (Those guys stood no chance, seriously.) Tsuna tried his best to explain to Lambo and I-pin that revenge wasn't everything. Although I-pin seemed to understand, it took several analogies about candy and cows and tunas for Lambo to get it.

"Lambo-san won't revenge anymore because Tsuna-nii said, so Lambo-san now wants grape candy." The boy looked up eagerly, one cow-print hand help up expectantly.

Tsuna chuckled awkwardly and glanced at his friends for help.

_Reminder to self, sign a contract for at least a year's worth of candy._

* * *

"Why did we steal this copter?!" Shōichi exclaimed over the sound of the copters rotors.

Tsuna wanted to ask the same thing but was too busy resigning himself to his fate. After all, nothing he had done had stopped them from stealing a navy barge two years ago.

"You won't get sick this way, Shō-chan!" Spanner yelled back from his position at the cockpit, fiddling with some of the buttons. Their resident red head had gotten pretty sick on the ship they stowed onto when they made their way to China.

"Do I even want to know why you can pilot this?!" Shōichi asked from where he stood behind Spanner's seat. He turned green as the helicopter lurched.

"Sorry!" Surprisingly, the apology came from Tsuna who sat in the other pilots' seat. He was leaning forward, his eyes set on the window as he tilted the controls in his hands.

Spanner grinned and turned to the red head. "We learned at the military base since they offered. Just so you know, Tsuna's the best at fine tuning the controls for a smooth flight!"

"Hey, isn't there some laws about crossing airspaces?!" This comment, surprisingly, emerged from Takeshi who came to stand behind Tsuna's seat. The copter was a small one, usually used for reconnaissance, so it was really cramped with them all there. The two children managed to fall asleep despite the noise.

Spanner nodded, and stood up, grabbing Shōichi's arm. "Yep, Shō-chan and I'll deal with that now!"

It wasn't easy.

They got into a squabble over where they should land before eventually settling on the privately owned airstrip of Takarada co. in Tokyo.

Then Tsuna and Spanner got the reply email from the mafia famiglie, well, one of them anyway. It was from Cavallone asking if they could take care of Lambo.

Tsuna was already ready to take I-pin in since he didn't know how to contact Fon-san and the girl didn't know where her master was either.

Of course he didn't have the heart to leave the grape-candy-loving boy to fend for himself either.

So much for not babysitting.

Luckily, his mother more than welcomed the children into her home.


	8. Chapter 8

With Lambo came many grenades and stuff that had a nasty habit of going BOOM at the worst of times. And the ten year bazooka. Seriously, mafia or not, there were surely lines as to what you could give children.

Of course, Spanner and Shōichi found the contraption fascinating.

Tsuna thought it was traumatising. Especially after the first time.

Lambo and I-pin had somehow managed to follow Tsuna to school. Which involved a lot of shouting and yelling and scolding from the teachers before he and Takeshi escaped to the roof with the boy and girl in tow.

Which was the worst idea Tsuna had ever made as he remembered too late that Hibari was usually napping on the roof at this time.

And of course Lambo's loud voice drew the violent boy.

I-pin also turned the deepest shade of red as she hid behind Tsuna.

Tsuna was seriously expecting to be beat up as he grabbed Lambo and shushed him. Hibari wore a terrifying expression but the prefect paused, tonfa still bared, as his eyes narrowed on I-pin behind Tsuna.

The girl turned redder and a strange symbol that resembled a nine from one of the mahjong tile sets appeared on her forehead.

Tsuna didn't have time to think on it as he quickly put Lambo down behind him as Hibari's aura became more pissed. He fingered one of the short blades he kept in the waistband of his pants as he tried to reason with the older boy. "Sorry, Hibari-san we didn't mean to disturb your nap."

"Haha, hey Hibari-senpai! Where'd you come from?" Tsuna wasn't sure whether to be pleased or worried that Takeshi at least had some sort of self-preservation as the tall boy rubbed his head in a nervous gesture, his other hand on his baseball bat tightening in trepidation.

Hibari's glare didn't let up as he focused on Tsuna. "Fox," he acknowledged.

Tsuna stiffened before his gaze skittered to the side nervously. "Oh, so you recognised me."

Hibari's expression didn't change but the brunet got the impression he was curious about something. Whether about why Tsuna ran away that time at the festival or how Tsuna knew that Hibari's parents had passed away the brunet wasn't sure. Frankly, the last one was more a good guess than anything else since Kusakabe, Hibari's cousin, had implied as much whenever he picked up the paper from Tsuna in the mornings at the Hibari residence.

"Why is that carnivore's herd here?"

Tsuna stared blankly back in shock. Did Hibari just ask a question? No wait, did The Hibari just refer to someone else as a carnivore?! Okay so Tsuna had no clue how to decipher the older boy's multitude of animal related speech patterns but he did get that everyone else was a 'herbivore' to the older boy. And given the boy's intense glare which shifted momentarily to the kids behind Tsuna the brunet could only guess that he meant I-pin or Lambo, most likely the former.

Suddenly, a shudder ran down Tsuna's spine as a warning flashed in his mind. He dived forward and into Hibari whose eyes widened slightly just as a loud explosion rocked the building and seared against his back.

Coughing, Tsuna's eyes watered with the smoke. He quickly scrambled off Hibari as he called out horsely, "Lambo?! I-pin?! Takeshi?!"

Another series of coughs and Takeshi's voice answered him. "I'm fine, Tsuna!"

Lambo's tearful cries were what clued Tsuna into the boy's very much alive condition.

"To-ler-rate!" *sniffle* "WAAAHH!" Another bang followed that and pink smoke replaced the dissipating ashy grey.

The smoke cleared slowly, displaying the crater that had replaced a corner of the building and a purple bazooka. And two teenagers.

"Oh wow, I forgot about this." The teen with the cropped black curly hair, green eyes and a bored demeanour commented casually. He turned to the girl beside him. "It was your fault, you know."

The girl had two braids, wore a red kung-fu uniform and loose cotton pants. She glared at the other but looked slightly guilty all the same.

"Uh..." Tsuna said intelligently.

The two brightened as soon as they spotted him and Tsuna suddenly found himself being tackled in a hug by two people older than him.

"Tsuna-nii!"

"Wai-! What?! Ow!" Tsuna winced as his back scraped against the ground.

"Ah, sorry Tsuna-nii!" The two got off him. Tsuna sat up rubbing his back only to wince as he brought his hand forward and stared at it blankly. Blood covered his hand.

The two teens eyes widened before they looked at each other.

"Shit," muttered the curly haired boy. "Four minutes."

And they launched into the quickest explanation Tsuna ever got about the most incomprehensible things.

"I'm Lambo and this is I-pin from ten years in the future. We got here using the ten year bazooka and it lasts five minutes." The teen jerked a thumb at the purple weapon only a few feet away from them. "My younger self tends to use it when he feels threatened or upset."

"And my younger self just used her Pinzu Time Bomb," the girl, I-pin, explained. "I tend to use it in great embarrassment or shyness, so please keep Hibari-san away from me at that age until my master- ah!" She quickly looked up at the skylark who was looking highly irritated right now. Takeshi had also come up, looking singed but intact as he peered worriedly at Tsuna's back, wincing at what he found there. "Hibari-san, could you please call my Master after this? It would help keep Namimori from being damaged further, I promise." The girl didn't blush or react in any way as she asked Hibari this; she'd gotten over her crush years ago. She turned to Lambo, "what's next?"

Hibari gave her a seething glare but didn't say no.

"Injuries." Older Lambo stated as if this was some script. He dug into his pocket and handed Tsuna a ring. "Get Shō-nii or Onii-san to use this to heal the burn marks, Tsuna-nii."

"Is this with that flame thing?" Takeshi asked.

"Yup." Older Lambo nodded then turned to I-pin. "Thirty seconds. Anything else?"

"Wait!" Tsuna flung his hands out in front of him. He had absolutely no idea what was going on or even if any of this was believable but he'd had plenty of practice going along with the inevitable not to mention that he was most concerned about only one thing right now. "Are your younger selves okay?"

I-pin smiled, her expression softening. "Yes, I'm unharmed by my own explosion and little Lambo should be getting healed."

Lambo shook his head ruefully, grinning and ruffling Tsuna's hair. "Damn you guys were tiny ten years ago, I can't believe how large Tsuna-nii looked back then. But then, you always protected us." He glanced up at the sky. "Time's up."

Then his eyes widened as he remembered something and he jerked his head down to look at Tsuna. "Tsuna-nii! Don't save-!"

And they disappeared in a poof of pink smoke.

And the younger Lambo and I-pin appeared, not a scratch on them. They both had a box of cream puffs in hand and were happily chewing through them.

Takeshi was the first to react as he put a hand on Tsuna's shoulder. "We need to treat your back."

The brunet finally registered that burning ache that he'd pushed to the back of his mind. "Y-yeah." Then he yelped as he was picked up, arms flailing as he worked out where to put them. "W-wait, I can walk!"

Takeshi shook his head and grinned though it didn't cover the taller boy's clear worry. "It's a long trip to the base, Shōichi's probably there. Unless... Lambo said something about a big brother."

"Oh, Onii-san probably means-" Tsuna started.

The door banged open, rattling the stone walls it was attached to, followed by a loud voice. "WHAT IS EXTREMELY GOING ON HERE?!"

The ones on the roof stared incomprehensibly at the white haired boy.

Tsuna became alarmed as he heard more footsteps drawing closer, most likely students or teachers drawn by the loud explosion and noises. Without thinking, he used the name he was used to calling the older boy with, "Onii-san! Please block the door!" It wouldn't do any of them good to be discovered with half the roof gone, him injured and Takeshi and Hibari looking singed like this. He would have no idea where to begin explaining.

I'm sorry, the little girl, I-pin, blew up because she developed an inadvisable crush on Hibari-san. Yeah, that would go over so well.

Ryohei looked startled but nodded and quickly banged the door closed and locked it.

Takeshi set Tsuna back down. "Hey sempai, do you think you can heal Tsuna?"

The white haired boy jogged up and took a quick look, his eager expression turned serious. "He extremely needs to go to the hospital!"

"How about this?" Takeshi took the ring Tsuna was clutching and handed it to Ryohei. "Do you know how to use it?"

Ryohei scratched his head, staring at the ring in great confusion. "How do I use a ring, to the extreme?!"

Takeshi tilted his head as he tried to recall what happened when he'd used the ring Squalo gave them a few months ago. Shōichi's had shattered right away after using it, while his had shattered the second time he tried to use it. "It's kind of like a 'whoosh!' feeling. Like a 'pop!' and then it just comes out. The important thing is that you have to know what you want to do."

"I EXTREMELY DON'T UNDERSTAND BUT OKAY!"

Tsuna would have face-palmed if the pain wasn't becoming unbearable and his vision didn't have large black spots dancing in it.

Ryohei slipped the ring on his thumb (it was a bit large since it was fit for an adult man's), fist-pumped, and yelled, "I WANT TO HEAL MY LIL BRO TO THE EXTREME!" The ring flickered and a yellow glint of flames emerged from the jewelled centre. There was no blinding flash this time.

"Haha, awesome!" Takeshi grinned.

Ryohei's eyes blazed as his fists became engulfed in yellow flames. "I FEEL EXTEEEMEEE!" He yelled as he brought his hands, palm up, against Tsuna's burnt back. He was surprisingly cautious about not touching Tsuna but his hands remained steady.

Tsuna writhed as his back started to itch. Takeshi crouched down in front of him. "You okay, Tsuna?"

The brunet nodded and offered a shaky smile to his friend as the two children who had gathered in front of him, peering up in concern. Tsuna grabbed Lambo and I-pin and cuddled them, squinting his eyes shut and burying his face into Lambo's hair as he let the sensation of strange flames wash over him and felt his pain ease.

As soon as he was healed, the brunet had to scramble back as a tonfa landed right in front of him and dented the roof they were on. He supposed he should be thankful the irate boy had even waited for him to be healed before attacking.

Then he had to scramble to catch something thrown at him and he stared down at the cell phone for a while before tentatively bringing it to his ear, sparing a wary glance at the skylark who folded his arms, looking irritated beyond measure.

"H-hello?"

"Hello, Tsuna," came a distinctly familiar serene tone.

"Fon-san?" Suddenly, Tsuna reeled as an epiphany hit him full on. No wonder he'd thought the baby looked familiar. Fon and Hibari were like two peas in a pod when it came to resemblance. And resemblance only as Tsuna tried to imagine Hibari smiling calmly. He shuddered.

"I apologise for my disciple imposing on you, though I am thankful to hear that she is safe and well from the sounds of it."

"Oh no, she's no trouble," he said as if he hadn't just been blown up minutes ago by the same girl. Tsuna smiled down at I-pin who offered him her last cream puff along with some broken Japanese. Lambo was quick to follow suit, not wanting to be beaten when it came to smothering Tsuna in affection. He thrust his treat at Tsuna even though he looked like he really really wanted to eat it himself. Tsuna shook his head, urging the two younger kids to eat their own treats. "She's very sweet."

"Yes she is." Tsuna smiled at the fond tone the other used. "I must apologise again, but I will not be able to make my way there until I finish my job..."

"Ah, that's fine. We've got plenty of space and she's good company for my mother." Tsuna was quick to reassure. "Would you like to talk to her?"

Getting an affirmative, Tsuna handed the phone to I-pin who was quick to chatter into it in Mandarin.

As he was handing the phone back, Tsuna caught Hibari's pissed look, and finally managed to decipher it. Right, the roof of the school that Hibari worked hard to protect was damaged.

"Ah, I promise to get the roof fixed. It'll be as good as new!" Tsuna laughed nervously and resisted the urge to rub the back of his head like a certain friend. Please don't bite me to death!

"Stupid Fox," Hibari bit out. Tsuna cringed, was his epiphany wrong?

"A weak little thing like you doesn't need to protect a carnivore."

Tsuna blinked in surprise, but the older boy was already disappearing over the edge of the roof.

"I may not be able to do anything about being little, but I can get stronger," Tsuna found himself saying softly.

Apparently not soft enough. "YOU WANT TO BECOME STRONGER?! THEN YOU SHOULD JOIN MY FUTURE BOXING CLUB!"

Tsuna turned to the older boy who sat, looking slightly winded, beside him. The flames apparently took a lot of energy to use. That, or they were just too young to use them properly yet.

"Thanks, Onii-san, but I don't think it would suit me," he said with an apologetic smile.

Takeshi swung an arm around Tsuna. "Yep, sorry, Ryohei-sempai, but Tsuna's taken."

"Yeah, yeah! Tsuna-nii has to spend time with Lambo! Not boxing!" The boy leapt up in Tsuna's lap, yelling at the boxing obsessed boy.

Ryohei looked startled before he roughly ruffled Lambo's curly locks to which the boy squirmed and protested. "You've got EXTREME little siblings, lil bro! By the way..." Ryohei looked at the brunet, uncharacteristically serious. "When did you come to our school TO THE EXTREME?!"

Tsuna gave up and face palmed. Really, he must have passed Ryohei in the halls many times despite being in different grades.

* * *

 

Somehow, the white haired boy managed to latch himself to them. Then again, Tsuna thought, given Ryohei's stubborn streak, it would have been impossible to detach him. And since his obliviousness was even worse than Takeshi's, explaining anything kind of just went in one ear and out the other.

He didn't exactly mind the older boy's presence though, despite his loudness -okay, so all of them started using the volume reducing earplugs Shōichi had made just in case Squalo decided to pop by, they didn't block sounds; just filtered loud ones and amplified small sounds.

Ryohei had a presence that screamed of energy, it was exhausting sometimes but at other times, invigorating. Besides, it meant Tsuna would get another model. Which was fine in his books but it meant Ryohei would experience first hand Tsuna's exacting demands, which only seemed to appear when it was anything to do with doing his jobs.

"Onii-san, tilt your head up a little more and towards me and smile! No, too wide, it has to be smaller! Yes! And move your arms back and straighten it just so... Perfect!"

Ryohei was now standing in the most awkward position, with his back bent over, one leg in the air, his arms flying up in a shocked position.

"Lil Bro..." Ryohei felt that something was wrong, especially since his position wouldn't even let his face be shown in the photos Tsuna was taking. But he just couldn't seem to put his finger on it. "THIS IS EXTREME!"

Tsuna snapped a series of photos before lowering the large digital camera. "All done, Onii-san! Thank you!"

"Whew, this modelling stuff is EXTREMELY tough," the boy claimed as he straightened again.

"You said it, Sempai!" Takeshi grinned from where he wore a baseball uniform. For some reason they couldn't work out, the poses Tsuna had them model in, which varied from just standing normally to being suspended in mid-air, were rather energy consuming. (Yes, they seemed very oblivious to the fact that those poses were not normal, maybe they should have taken into account Tsuna's unique designer-sensei before taking the brunet's word for it.)

Tsuna just looked glad to have finished up the job. All he needed to do was sort through the photos before sending them off to Alaire. "Thanks so much, you two! It's a kids sportswear line and Spanner and Shōichi aren't exactly best suited for these clothes."

"Haha, if Spanner heard that..." Takeshi grinned, a cheeky glint in his eye.

"He would insult me right back, I know," Tsuna said, sharing a grin. "Anyway, come have some cake. I was making it with Lambo and I-pin last night so it might look a little messy."

Takeshi and Ryohei cheered and raced out as Tsuna followed at a more leisurely pace, leaving the studio they'd turned one of the top floor rooms into. Ryohei had claimed one of the basement rooms which Tsuna obliged and turned into a training room for the older boy, next to Takeshi's Japanese styled training room. One of the other rooms at the top floor had been converted into a nursery room for the kids, though they spent most of their time at Tsuna's house. Another, into a weapons room for Lambo's never-ending supply of explosives.

Stepping up to the buzzer next to the door, Tsuna smiled and called the two inventors up from the basement floor to join them for cake.


	9. Chapter 9

Tsuna had gone up to water the garden when he found him.

The only reason they had a garden rather than just a greenhouse on the roof of the shopping complex was because Shōichi and Spanner went through a whole phase involving botany.

Tsuna had no idea how but within a week, there were so many plants that they didn't fit in the greenhouse. Some had managed to take root outside, scattering flowers everywhere. Not all of them were normal either; at Lambo's demand, there was several grapevines with pink coloured grapes that tasted of grape flavoured creaming soda. Ryohei had surprisingly asked for tulips for his sister which was why they were absolutely everywhere in all sorts of colours. I-pin had asked to see the cherryblossoms so Shōichi made some strange pink plant that grew in hanging pots and scattered petals constantly, all year 'round. Takeshi had asked for a baseball plant and the inventors, with some difficulty, managed to get flowering baseballs. Which was ridiculous in Tsuna's opinion.

At least Takeshi wouldn't be running out of balls any time soon from all those home runs he hit.

The more... Dangerous plants were kept underground in one of the labs with yellow tape and warnings stuck all over the door. This would be the first of many labs labelled as such.

Tsuna hadn't asked for anything. But his mother had, which was why there were hydrangea scattered all over the place too. And it was among those that he found older boy napping in.

Hibari lay among the flowers, looking for all the world, relaxed and asleep.

Tsuna must have stood there, holding up a leaking hose, for ages before deciding to just ignore him and water the other plants. There was no way he would risk being bitten to death just for disturbing Hibari's nap. Even if it was on the property he technically owned.

A few hours later, Hibari woke up. The boy sat up and stared at the covered meal that was next to him. Lifting the cover, the boy's nose wiggled at the scent of still warm hamburger steak. Sensing no one in the vicinity aside from a few birds, he picked up the chopsticks and dug in. His eyes widened at the taste, but continued to calmly consume his meal.

Later, Tsuna came up to find the meal finished and smiled before sweat dropping at Hibird who stood perched on top of the cover chirping, "Stupid fox! Stupid fox! Thank you for the meal!" It then flew away, message delivered.

* * *

There was still a few minutes before school would let out. Bored, Lambo and I-pin had snuck into the brunet's room. They stopped when they got to the door to peer around with wide eyes.

The room had been widened since Spanner's arrival years ago, with two single beds placed on either side of the room, a long work desk facing the window with chairs under it, and a low table in the centre. One half of the room was obviously Spanner's; the bed, floor and half the table riddled with wires, bolts, gears and silicon chips and half built robots like the one downstairs in the kitchen. The other half of the room was also a mess, some of Spanner's mess evidently seeping across into it, the bed was a lump of blankets, an old T-shirt and shorts that Tsuna wore to bed thrown over it along with a pair of Spanner's green overalls. It still looked like a tornado had ripped through it, with papers scattered like a storm everywhere, some containing sketches, others, like the one Lambo picked up, containing musical scores written with a rushed hand.

The two children crept in. Lambo, not one for subtlety, dashed up to the shiny white guitar sitting atop the low table. "Lambo-san knows what this is!" The boy shouted eagerly to I-pin. "The Bovino has one! When you play it, it breaks all the windows!"

I-pin's brow scrunched up. She was pretty sure it was an instrument that made music, not to break things. Seeing Lambo jump up to the table and start fiddling with the strings, she started to scold in her broken Japanese, "Lambo no touch! Tsuna-gege will be mad!" Not that they'd really seen the older boy angry before.

Lambo stuck his tongue out at I-pin. "Lambo-san can do what he likes!"

The sound of the window being opened interrupted the children from another squabble. Both of them stared as Tsuna slipped in from the tree outside. He turned to quickly close the window and activate the security system Spanner had set up, just as a precaution.

"Tsuna-nii/Tsuna-gege?"

Turning back, Tsuna smiled at the two kids as he slumped onto his bed, exhausted. "Sorry, I'll play with you later. I'm too tried right now." Running from Hibari who seemed to have somehow developed a vendetta against him between the last time Tsuna fed the boy that resembled an irritable stray cat napping on his roof and today at school where he'd appeared even more annoyed and had glowered at Tsuna like he wanted to take a chunk out of him. Hopefully he'd managed to lose the older boy when he'd utilised the full set of running away skills they'd learned from Colonnello-sensei.

The brunet sighed as he flopped over the lump on his bed. There was an answering groan and a blond head appeared, sleepy blue eyes blinking up at him. Tsuna wasn't surprised. He was pretty sure Spanner slept in his bed more often than his own since the blond's clutter got in the way.

"Your hair looks like a bird nested in it."

"Your's looks like someone couldn't decide whether you should end up as a lollipop or a person," Tsuna retorted, running a hand through Spanner's strange swirl of hair.

Spanner rolled his eyes and reached up to brush leaves out of Tsuna's unruly locks. "No, really. There's bird in here."

Tsuna stared in horror at the yellow puff ball that Spanner untangled from his hair. He sat up abruptly, as if getting further away would abate his incoming doom. "Hibird?!" He exclaimed hoarsely.

The bird cheeped and preened itself.

Tsuna's window shattered as doom appeared.

_"Fox."_

How could a boy still in grade school make one word sound like his death? Tsuna wondered absently as he shuddered in apprehension.

"EXTREMEEE!"

Ryohei didn't even break through the window. He broke through the wall, spraying bricks and plaster everywhere.

Why was he here anyway?

Spanner's security system activated, metal bars shunting off that side of the room. Tsuna had to wonder if they would do any good when Ryohei broke into his room like a hammer against porcelain.

He was, unfortunately, correct as Hibari knocked the bars askew, Ryohei following in excited vigour.

"Remind me to use stronger materials," Spanner muttered as he disentangled himself from the blankets and picked up I-pin who had started blushing again at the sight of Hibari. Tsuna quickly moved in front of her, hoping to prevent his house from being blown up.

One of Spanner's robot's activated, firing high velocity bb pellets at Hibari and Rohei who were... Arguing. Or rather, Ryohei was trying to enthusiastically recruit Hibari while the dark haired boy proceeded to try beating him up.

"JOIN! OUR! TEAM! HIBARI!" The boxing boy punctuated each word with a swing of his fists.

"I do not crowd with herbivores." Hibari stated as he blocked and retaliated with cold, irritated precision. Then he blocked a barrage of pellets from the robot, swooping in to snap its firing arms in half before turning, his aura thunderous, to Tsuna.

Tsuna, finally understanding why Hibari was trying to murder him, completely blamed Ryohei for being the stubborn oaf he was. He never should have mentioned in passing that the covered meal he was taking to the roof was for Hibari that time. Now the boxing boy was obsessed in including the violent, bloodthirsty Hibari as part their 'team'. And Hibari, above law breaking herbivores, hated crowding even more.

He winced as Ryohei tried to land another blow on the raven haired boy, receiving a crushing knock to the jaw by Hibari's tonfa in retaliation.

Lambo's yell of encouragement was not helping as Tsuna struggled to hold the boy back from running into the fight that was desecrating his and Spanner's room. He quickly gave the boy a candy to placate him. Tsuna was just contemplating paralysing them with his taser gun or guitar when he glanced behind and paled upon seeing the symbols on I-pin's forehead. It was already down to one circle. Damn.

Tsuna closed his eyes, hoping his house wouldn't be too damaged from the explosion.

When seconds passed, and nothing happened aside from the sounds of fighting getting louder, Tsuna braved a peek and let out his classic scream as something big and furry leapt on him and proceeded to wash his face with a rough tongue. Tsuna snorted and laughed as whiskers tickled him and pushed the furred thing away to come face to face with a... Lion.

Tsuna blinked.

The lion blinked back. Then lay its heavy weight on top of Tsuna's prone body, its tail flicking around enthusiastically as it purred. The vibrations travelled right through his body to the one underneath him.

Spanner peered up from where he lay underneath the dog pile, Tsuna and the lion pinning him to the bed. "Isn't that the lion from that zoo...?"

"Yes," a serene voice replied.

Tsuna peered around the lion to see Fon standing on its back, I-pin, her forehead clear, was next to him. The red robed baby-that-wasn't-a-baby still looked the same as he did two years ago. Even that large red pacifier was still there.

"What happened?" Tsuna asked as he nudged the lion aside so he could sit up and relieve Spanner from becoming a pancake.

"I came to see I-pin, to seal her Pinzu time bomb. Natsu," the martial artist nodded at the lion who was nuzzling Tsuna, "wanted to come and see you." Fon smiled calmly as the white monkey on his head jumped onto Tsuna's head to hide in his fluffy hair.

There were many things Tsuna wanted to ask at this point. But by this time in his life he'd already learned that there was no point in arguing over something that had already happened, no matter how nonsensical it was. At least he learned something from their trip back to Japan from China years ago; Despite Fon's very calming aura and passive demeanour, the baby was an unstoppable force of nature when he decided to do something. Like assist in taking over a navy barge. Yeah.

So, wearing a wry smile and trying his best to ignore Hibari and Ryohei's very loud and violent fight in his room, Tsuna said, "thank you," as he stroked Natsu.

A brick slamming into his face and knocking him back was the last straw.

Even Spanner shifted away as Tsuna slowly stood up, blood dripping from his forehead, and calmly picked up his guitar. His smile made those around him shudder as his eyes flickered amber with anger. With a flick or his wrist Tsuna turned on the special function Spanner had built into the guitar and switched it to the maximum output.

Spanner gulped. "Uh, Tsuna, if you do that-"

Tsuna strummed, the first notes reverberating through all those in the vicinity and freezing them. A few more made sure that no one could move a muscle. Tsuna stopped there, knowing that any further could put them to sleep and an entire song would put everyone into a coma for a week.

A nudge from Natsu, who was unaffected, made him turn and notice Fon standing on the lion's head.

The martial artist's chubby face quirked up in a smile. "An interesting instrument. I think even I would be caught in it had you played further."

Tsuna suddenly felt sheepish at the reprimand behind the words as his anger fell away. He rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry." Then he glanced at Hibari and Ryohei who were frozen mid-fight. Though they could not move Tsuna could read their eyes clearly. Ryohei appeared confused but Hibari...

Hibari was going to kill Tsuna. Tsuna shuddered, his gaze skittering to the side, hoping he wouldn't end up as food for the birds after this.

"Tsu-kun, Spanner-kun?" Nana popped her head into the room, and Tsuna was more than glad the room had been soundproofed. She blinked at the frozen crowd and the mess they'd made. Putting a hand to her cheek she tutted gently. "You can bring your friends over to play, but remember to clean up the mess." Then she beamed at everyone there. "But before that, why don't you all come down for dinner? I have more than enough food prepared."

Hibari's face twisted, sheer determination forcing his limbs to move before he could get dragged into the herbivorous offer. It was too late; Nana had already stepped in, emitting a cheerful aura that wouldn't take no for an answer as she helped the two paralysed boys into less stiff positions and took charge of them. "You must be the boy Tsu-kun says likes hamburger steak. You'll be pleased to hear that its on the menu tonight!"

The paralysis was wearing off, Spanner picking up Lambo and I-pin who started chatting enthusiastically.

"Gyahahaha! It didn't break the windows! It broke people instead!"

"Lambo, idiot! It is instrument!"

Tsuna rubbed his head and sighed as he and Spanner got up to follow his mother. Fon jumped onto his shoulder and Natsu followed behind.

"Oh, and Tsu-kun, I hope you remember to take care of your pets and make sure they don't eat each other."

Tsuna face-palmed. Oh yeah, the alpaca was still there.

* * *

If having The Hibari over at his house for dinner wasn't scary enough, having it with obnoxious and loud people like Lambo and Ryohei was much more worse. Tsuna swore only his mother's smiling presence and Fon's constant and subtle -but Tsuna still noticed- glances Hibari's way were the only reasons his house was still standing and Lambo and Ryohei were still alive.

That didn't make stop him from being extra cautious and making sure to enter the school via the fence and the tree outside his class window. Takeshi took the escapade in stride, seeing nothing wrong with climbing into the classroom through the window like a pair of burglars.

Tsuna had been so thankful when school was over and he'd successfully managed to avoid Hibari that he'd thought nothing of spending the rest of the day as usual. Of course, he forgot to take into account his awful luck.

Which was the reason why he was now dodging middle schoolers and men that looked suspiciously like drug dealers or yakuza. Or both. He grabbed the bin lid just in time as a metal bar came down, gritting his teeth as sparks flew and his arm shook from the force. Rolling out of the way, he got to his feet and leaped onto some crates stacked conveniently in the alleyway. He spun the lid in his hands and sent it flying like a frisbee. It flew into the man's head, knocking him out, ground against the bricks before ricocheting into another man's back, whose leg was trapped by Natsu. The young lion let go and quickly leapt next to Tsuna, hunched, fur bristling, as a low growl emanated from deep in the lion's throat.

Tsuna crouched and placed a gentle hand on the mane. "You can threaten them, but don't bite them," he warned quietly, his eyes focused on the men approaching them with caution. Natsu released a soft 'grr' and licked Tsuna's cheek. The lion understood; biting could lead to Natsu being taken away. It was already bad that Tsuna wasn't allowed to have the lion unleashed when walking him even though he knew Natsu wouldn't harm a soul.

Aside from the one he'd knocked out and the other one who was rubbing his back and glaring death at Tsuna, there were also two school students that looked like thugs, their Namimori middle school uniforms making them stand out, and one other man. So he got all the adults.

He could hear fighting toward the front of the alley, and hoped that Takeshi could hold his own against the half dozen other school students.

They'd been walking back from the hospital with Natsu frolicking around them. Lory-san was doing a lot better and had been extremely happy to meet the lion, saying something about his own pet anaconda at home. Anyway, the two boys just happened to pass an alley where a bunch of delinquent-like middle schoolers had been yelling at some sleazy looking men that stunk of cigarette smoke and waving about packets of white powder around.

Tsuna had stopped, noticing the suspicious crowd, but was conflicted about diving in and stopping what was obviously a drug deal. He concluded that getting a policeman was probably better and was going to turn and go to the nearest police box when a voice stopped him.

"Hey, you know you shouldn't be doing that! You wouldn't be allowed to play any games." Takeshi stood at the entrance to the alley, arms akimbo, looking gravely serious. Not being to play baseball was a serious thing, of course.

Tsuna wanted to face-palm except Yamamoto was being swamped and there was no way he was going to let the boy deal with it alone so, with a sigh, he jumped into the fray.

Which was why they were now in this position. Tsuna was kind of glad that he'd kept up the morning routine of exercises from Colonello-sensei; he'd only done it because the spartan baby had dragged a promise out of him on the last day of that hellish camp. Tsuna couldn't see any bumps on the clothing that indicated firearms, and his mind was telling him that aside from blunt weapons there were no others. (As if he hadn't had enough of dodging bullets at the hellish camp.) So if that was the case...

Tsuna kicked the crate into the head of the man trying to sneak up to his side, getting a yelp in return. Natsu leapt for the other adult, standing on his chest and growling threateningly, sharp jaws very close to the man's suddenly sweating face.

The two teens went for Tsuna as the boy leapt to the ground. Tsuna grimaced, aiming a solid kick onto one guy's kneecap before leaping away from the other teen's grabbing hands.

_"It doesn't matter if you're small, don't try to reach the big guys; bring them down to you, kora!"_

Tsuna ducked under a crowbar, twisted around, and blocked the next blow with the small _kunai_ that were suddenly in his hands. He grit his teeth, arms shaking, the teen was much stronger than him. He let go, stepping back as the teen lost his balance and cursed as Tsuna sent an uppercut to the lowered chin.

A cry and a cold feeling from behind him made Tsuna turn and blink at the sudden appearance of his most dreaded to see person of the day, standing on the top of a pile of unconscious men and middle school students. Takeshi and Natsu was standing next the the pile, the boy grinning with only a few tears in his clothes and some bruises to show for his fight.

"Fox," Hibari said, and Tsuna dared not think of it as a hiss. The raven haired boy was pissed at the little fox for yesterday but even more so for getting into a fight that was his responsibility. A cough from the pile below him made him look down.

The teen shuddered at the sharp gaze he was getting before yelling in a bout of defiance, "you can't beat us! Our boss is the son of the biggest yakuza group in Namimori, and he has control of all the delinquents in Nami-chuu!"

Hibari rose a brow, a predatory glint entering the grade school boy's eyes. "If that so? Then I shall go and bite this herbivore to death." And with a flap of his jacket, he leapt off the pile and headed to the entrance of the alley where Kusakabe waited. He stopped and turned to look at Tsuna. "I'll deal with you later, fox."

It took a few moments for Tsuna to realise where Hibari was going, and then another for him to run after the older boy, Takeshi and Nastu following him. "W-wait, Hibari-san! You can't-!"

The glare sent his way stopped his protest short and he gulped. Was Hibari really just going to storm the figurative lion's den? Of course he would, this was Hibari-san. "Um, can we come with you?" As the glare lessened but the gaze became sharper Tsuna quickly shook his hands before his face like it would protect him.

"W-we won't get in the way or anything!"

Hibari didn't say anything as he leapt up to the nearest roof.

Tsuna took that as permission as he, Takeshi and Natsu followed. At a safe distance, mind you.

* * *

Momo Tenouji, student of Nami-chuu and son of the head of the infamous Momokyokai, sat in at the head of the room on the top floor of his middle school. He'd long since taken over his school and it was well known to the public to be a place overrun with delinquents and to be avoided. The smug teen had pink hair, which not one person dared to tease him about, a thin face, and narrowed green eyes. His gakuran was open sloppily, revealing his white undershirt.

He felt pleased, knowing that his underlings would return soon with the packages from his family's dealer. Why, they should be walking through the door any minute now...

The door burst open.

A teenager that was one of the guards outside the door appeared. His face looked like it had been run in by a thick metal rod. The teen was dropped, revealing a raven haired grade schooler with the coldest glare in the world.

All the other delinquents in the room, a good twenty of them, grabbed their chosen weapons -baseball bats, crowbars, metal pipes and so on - or cracked their knuckles in anticipation. Tenouji stood, head held up haughtily as he sneered at the child. "So you think you can just march in here, brat? Well, why don't my men teach you a lesson."

Attempting to threaten one Hibari Kyoya would be Momo Tenouji's worst nightmare. And it started with one catchphrase:

"I will bite you to death, herbivore."

* * *

Tsuna entered rather dramatically five minutes later, flying feet first to one terrified escaping Momo Tenouji's face.

It was an accident, really. He hadn't meant to trip over one of the bodies Hibari had left in his wake, flip mid-air, and land on someone.

"Ah, I'm sorry!" The little brunet stepped off and grimaced at the sight of the bruised and bloodied face of the middle school student. Tsuna's feet had knocked him out. Accidentally, of course.

Taking in the bloody carnage and wreaked classroom, he could only sigh. He really shouldn't have worried about Hibari-san after all.

The wall next to him thundered down as a bunch of desks and middle school delinquents smashed through the wood and plaster. Takeshi appeared, riding atop Natsu with his sword swinging. He stopped when he saw there were no more conscious middle schoolers and grinned. "Yo, Tsuna! Hibari!"

Hibari ignored him from where he was wiping down his tonfa with a scrap of cloth that was quickly turning red. Done, he turned to Kusakabe who'd appeared at the hole Yamamoto had made in a much more dignified manner. With a nod, he signaled for the older boy to start cleaning up before turning to Tsuna.

"Come with me, Fox."

* * *

Nami-chuu's middle school principal was considering resigning from his job. He was a pot bellied man who was, frankly, terrified of Momo Tenouji, heir to the Momokyokai yakuza gang. The stress of handling a school full of delinquents and their antics was giving him more white hairs than he needed.

So when he heard the commotion of a fight breaking out at Tenouji's turf, a very loud and _destructive_ fight, all he wanted to do was go home and hide under his bed.

Of course, the appearance of one Hibari Kyoya kicking his door down, the most terrifying grade schooler whose reputation proceeded him, almost gave the man a heart attack.

"Herbivore. Resign. The Fox will take your place." Hibari commanded.

"Hiee! W-what?! Hibari-san!"

The principal could only stare as a little boy, all doe eyes and soft features whom he hadn't noticed behind The Terror, screeched at Hibari. He would do the same had he not felt that he was staring death in the face. Surely Hibari didn't mean this fluff ball...

But Hibari's next line proved him wrong.

The violent boy turned on the brunet and bared his tonfa threateningly. "Fox, do not argue."

Tsuna took one step back and stopped, taking a deep breath as he squared his shoulders. Looking back at Hibari defiantly, he said, "you can't just order people around like that, Hibari-san. You could at least ask Nami Middle's Principal nicely."

Hibari's eyes narrowed at the Fox. A glance at the gaping principal, however, made him smirk. He turned to the herbivorous adult who couldn't even run a school properly, and rose a brow. "Well?"

Seeing the little boy stand up to The Hibari and scold him like a mother hen was perhaps the most abnormal and terrifying scene the principal had ever seen.

"O-of course! The job is yours, um, Fox-sama!"

Tsuna could only stare in incredulity as he was handed a job he didn't want nor need.

"I'll need an office here too, herbivore."

"Y-yes!" The now ex-principal of Namimori Middle yelped. Hopefully, after this day, he would never have to see another delinquent or terrifying grade schooler again. He'd had enough for one lifetime.

* * *

The yakuza boss' son was an idiot. At least, that was what Tsuna concluded the next time he saw the middle schooler and his group decked out in full gakuran uniform, armbands with 'disciplinary committee' sewn on it, and pompadours that rivaled Kusakabe-san's. Either that or Kusakabe was more a force to be reckoned with than he thought.

They greeted him in file, with ninety degree bows which unnerved the hell out of him but what was he supposed to do? He only came because Hibird had woken him up at the ungodly hour of five in the morning and had refused to budge from its spot snuggled in his hair.

The bird let out a content little cheep.

"At least one of us is comfortable," Tsuna grumbled as he marched purposefully for the door with 'disciplinary committee' marked clearly on the glass in professional print.

Nami-middle had been remade. All of Tenouji's gang had been reformed into, well, they still looked like delinquents but at least they were working for a better cause. If working for Hibari could be called a better cause. Much of the buildings were refurbished, the middle schoolers helping out after a few 'encouraging' blows from Hibari.

All of it was being funded rather generously from the Momokyokai yakuza gang's wallet. They were quite willing to hand over the money after a complementary visit by the new principal of the school and Hibari, who came to 'discuss' their heir's and his underlings behaviour. Well, Tsuna was more forced to go visit after a few not so subtle hints from Hibari about doing his job.

Tsuna managed to find a loophole and disguised himself in his fox mask and his hat to stop people noticing his very obvious hair. He didn't want to be known all over the town for being a principal and this way less teachers would question him because his reputation as 'Dame-Tsuna' was almost as preceding as Hibari's reputation of being a violent antisocial boy. Unfortunately he, to his shame, couldn't get his nickname to change and all the teachers and students called him 'Kitsune-san'.

Tsuna had been hoping that someone, _anyone_ , would oppose Hibari's tyrannical takeover of the middle school with Tsuna as his scapegoat. His hopes were dashed when he discovered that the staff and teachers were just as afraid of Hibari as their grade school teachers and were more than willing to defer to Tauna if he could be their shield.

Opening the door, Tsuna squeaked and ducked as a tonfa flew above his head.

"HIBARI, MAKE A BOXING CLUB WITH ME TO THE EXTREMEEE!"

Tsuna quickly plugged his ears with Shōichi's earplugs before he went deaf.

Ryohei and Hibari were fighting at this ungodly hour of the morning in the disciplinary committee office. In the very new and shiny office that had been fixed barely a week ago.

"Hiieee, what are you two doing?! And you're not in middle school yet!" The two boys still had a year to go though Hibari, being one who did whatever he wanted, somehow managed to run his new disciplinary committee and go to grade school at the same time. Not that Tsuna could talk, he still had no idea how he was juggling so many jobs at once.

"LITTLE BRO!" Ryohei yelled in greeting. "HIBARI MADE HIS CLUB ALREADY SO I WANT TO MAKE MY BOXING CLUB!" He punched the air in vigour.

"Hn," grunted Hibari as he glared at the stubborn oaf of a boxer. "Ask the Fox. He's the one in charge of this school." This was exactly the reason why Hibari hadn't wanted the job and made the little fox do it instead. Tsuna turning to the skylark in with dread written in every part of his chubby face was also part of the reason, he supposed.

"REALLY? EXTREEEME LIL BRO!"

"Onii-san! You've still got a little over a year! You can't run a boxing club in middle school when you haven't even finished grade school!" Tsuna tried to reason.

"HIBARI IS RUNNING HIS CLUB!"

Tsuna opened his mouth and closed it again as he realised just how impossible it was to get through to the immovable object known as Sasagawa Ryohei. His shoulders slumped. "Fine. I'll approve for a Nami-chuu boxing club to be made."

"EXTREMEEE,YOU ARE THE FIRST MEMBER LIL BRO!" Ryohei yelled as he stormed out of the room.

"I don't-" Tsuna started. But the new boxing club captain had already run out of the door.

The brunet boy passed a long suffering look Hibari's way and swore the prefect was enjoying his discomfort.


	10. Chapter 10

It didn't take Tsuna long to gain a reputation as a benevolent and just principal. He punished what was left of the delinquents accordingly, delegating chores for them to do that weren't too hard and avoiding any singling out of specific people (because god knows how many times he had been singled out and humiliated in class).

The students, unruly as they were, came to like their new principal, _especially_ when Tsuna seemed to be the only thing standing between them and a harsh beating by the new Disciplinary committee head. But they soon came to discover other qualities their new principal held.

"He is _soo_ cute!" One girl with dyed blond hair, the only thing left of her yankee appearance (because one of the first things Tsuna and Hibari did was to reform the students uniform choices), gushed.

"Yuriko, you can't even see what he looks like." Her friend claimed, she still wore thick make-up but had dyed her hair back to black.

"You don't have to!" Yuriko spotted their little principal scolding one of the guys for smoking on campus. Amazingly when the principal scolded, he did it in such a mild-mannered way, with his voice so full of disappointment that he sounded like a weeping angel, and you couldn't help but want to apologise and not do it again.

"Kitsune-san!" Yuriko waved and ran up to the boy. "Guess what! I didn't bring my metal bat for once!"

The principal paused before he practically sparkled and Yuriko swore she could _feel_ his proud smile. "That's great, Sawa-san!"

When he left, Yukriko turned to her friend with a sly smile and nudged her with an elbow. "So?"

"Definitely cute." Her friend stated, her cheeks still pink.

Yes, the students discovered happiness in making their principal happy, it was akin to the happiness you get from feeding a pet gerbil and watching it stuff its chubby cheeks full of food. This sped Nami-chuu's reformation into a reputable school that much faster.

But what truly completed the school was when the teachers came to respect their new principal's ability to solve almost any type of discord, and gained back their motivation and love of teaching under his guidance.

"You know... I'm really worried that Sugawa-kun may be pregnant, Kitsune-san." A teacher deadpanned from where he was sitting in the principal's office, holding a cup of tea.

"...Sugawa-san is a boy, Honda-sensei."

"But you should see that belly! I swear it's been getting rounder and rounder!" The teacher exclaimed to the boy sitting on the sofa across from him. This particular teacher was a new one, he could hardly believe that this little boy was running the school and so he wanted to test him with this ridiculous story.

The principal adjusted his hat for a moment and tilted his head in thought. "…I'll have a talk with him then."

A few days later the teacher saw that his student had somehow become skinny to the point that he barely recognised him.

"…Sugawa-kun?"

"Ah, good morning Honda-sensei."

"H-how- I mean, you look different."

The boy beamed. "Yes, Kitsune-san brought a dietary consultant, Irie-san, to see me. He did a few tests and suggested a new diet with this strange plant! It's amazing!"

"I... see…"

Similar challenges were solved with little discord. A student was trying to seduce her teacher? The next day, she was on the arm of another guy, both claiming they were made for each other. (Somehow this started a strange set of rumours like if you make an offering to Kitsune-san, you would get good relationship luck. Tsuna couldn't make head or tails of all the _inari-zushi_ and _sake_ that kept appearing on his table or at the door to his office.) A PE teacher was worried about a student who refused to participate in swimming activities? The next day he was making laps up and down like he was made for the water. (Tsuna promised to keep the secret that the student was actually female and had just been at _that_ time of the month.) A teacher was harassing another teacher? The harasser got an earful of Kitsune-san's Most Disappointed scolding and was told that he should learn more gentlemanly methods of courting, especially with the more mild-mannered and gentle Yasuda-sensei. The harassed got told that he should learn to be firmer with Kazuma-sensei. (No, Tsuna didn't particularly care that both teachers in this case were males.) This was also when Kitsune-san got his first love confession, from an adult man no less.

"Ah, um, I mean, Kazuma-sensei isn't really my type and I, um…" Yasuda-sensei was turning pink as he looked at his feet, sending shy glances at the boy sitting beside him.

The fox mask tilted. "What is it, Yasuda-sensei?" The principal asked gently.

"W-well, it's just I-I like _you_ , Kitsune-san!" The teacher was turning a fitful pink as he clutched the fabric of his pants, examining his hands as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world. As the silence consumed them, he continued in flustered rush. "I mean, you're gentle but you know when to be firm and you're good with all the students, and everyone can tell that you're doing your best for this school and-"

"N-no stop! I-I get it!" Tsuna's ears were burning. "I'm flattered, really. But… You do realise that I'm a child, right…?" _And that you don't even know what I look like._ But Tsuna didn't say this aloud.

"Y-yes," Yasuda glanced at the masked boy, still blushing. "But you're so cool, I just can't-" The adult covered his burning face with his hands, at a loss for words.

Tsuna just- well he was at a loss for words too.

* * *

It was a weekend morning when Tsuna woke, blinking blearily at the thing in his face before his brain kick started and he realised it was Spanner's arm. Removing it and wiggling out of his blankets -which was a hard thing to do considering he was surrounded by bodies, whether that was his roommate, the kids or Natsu, he'd long since given up trying to kick them out anyway. The sun was just rising, so Tsuna didn't want to wake them when they could sleep in.

Well, most of them anyway.

Grabbing Spanner's foot -he already knew how hard it was to wake Spanner up after a night of skyping with Shōichi- he dragged the sleeping blond with him to the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for the day.

When Tsuna came down, pushing a half-asleep Spanner before him and catching himself before he tripped over that one step -now that he thought about it, he hadn't fallen down the stairs since that hellish training camp-, they were greeted by Fon at the bottom.

"Good morning Tsunayoshi, Spanner. You're up early." Lichi squeaked from where it sat upon the martial artist's head.

Tsuna smiled and greeted the martial artist baby and monkey who were staying at his home.

Spanner yawned. "Tsuna's always early."

Fon took the boy in stride. "That seems true, Tsunayoshi woke at this time yesterday too."

Tsuna headed into the kitchen grabbing some apples and a bag of grains which he handed to Spanner. He could hear some cluttering sounds from upstairs that indicated his mother getting up. "I have a job in the mornings on weekdays," he explained. "Since I got used to waking early, I get up the same time on my days off too." He led the two to the back door. "Unless I stayed up the night before." Which happened often.

"Having a regular timetable is good for the body," Fon agreed as he jumped up to Tsuna's shoulder. Lichi leapt to Spanner, peering curiously at the bag of grains and nibbling on one. They watched as Spanner wandered absentmindedly to the alpaca in the backyard, or was it that the alpaca wandered up to Spanner? The fuzzy animal dug into the food Spanner was holding, almost making him drop it.

When the alpaca was happily fed, Fon watched with interest as the boys went though a few stretches on the lawn before standing, facing each other and started sparring on some unspoken agreement. It was like martial arts, though the kicks and punches were less refined and more the rough and casual style of street fighting. There were no regular sets of moves, just whatever they could throw and none of the hits were made to injure further than a bruise. They were obviously novices, but the basics were set very well in the boys.

After they'd worked up a decent sweat and Tsuna managed to throw Spanner over his shoulder, they stopped. Tsuna flopped onto the ground next to the blond, panting. Spanner didn't have the energy to push the alpaca away as the animal came over and started nibbling on his sleeve.

Fon came up to them, handing over two bottles of water which the children took with thanks. "Do you do this every morning?" It hadn't happened yesterday.

Tsuna shook his head, downing half the bottle before pouring the rest over his head. "No, just weekends." He wouldn't have bothered if Colonnello-sensei hadn't _forced_ him to promise to practice. And of course, if he had to do it, so would Spanner. It was the blond's fault they had that 'training' camp in the first place. "We try to spar after school at least two times a week though." With Takeshi, Shōichi and sometimes a very enthusiastic Ryōhei. He smiled and scratched his cheek, slightly embarrassed as Fon continued to watch them. "We're not that good, I know."

"No, you have the basics down, which is essential to learning anything later. How long have you been learning?"

"We went to this training camp thing I found online last holidays, it was about two weeks," Spanner answered, sitting up and pushing the alpaca away.

Fon blinked, for the first time in a long time, surprised. _Two weeks?_ "Then I believe you are doing very well. And very dedicated to continue practicing as you are."

Tsuna said nothing about 'dedication' for fear of Colonnello-sensei jumping in, guns toting. The blond baby was very nice in general, just not when it came to 'training'.

"That reminds me, I signed us up for these holidays too." Spanner remarked, shattering all of Tsuna's delusions.

"WHAT!" Summer holidays just started! Yesterday had been their last day of school!

"Don't worry, it's not in some backwater country area this time."

Tsuna turned to Spanner with pleading eyes.

"He said he'd come to us."

Tsuna gave up and sobbed into his hands.

He would have dug a hole and buried himself in it too had Nana not called them in for breakfast.

* * *

Monday was not a school day but Tsuna's duties still called, so he got up with the sun, as usual, and got ready silently. When he went down, he had a quick breakfast and kissed his mother on the cheek before leaving.

Fon stood at the entrance watching curiously as Tsuna slipped on his shoes. "Do you want to come?" Tsuna found himself asking.

The martial artist's lips quirked in a smile and he nodded at the invitation, jumping up to the proffered shoulder. Lichi climbed to the other shoulder. Tsuna slipped on his hat -the one from Kawahira-san years ago- and lifted the thin case that sat next to the shoe rack, setting it up into his bike outside before getting on and cycling for Brown-san's place.

Fon appreciated the wind flowing past, reminding him of the flow of air when he practiced some of his martial art sets. "Your home is a curious thing Tsunayoshi. You have the Mini-Mosca helping your mother in the kitchen, and the robots in your room. I have not missed the security you have implemented on the outer perimeter either." There must have been enough motion sensors to supply an army.

Tsuna chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah, Spanner and Shōichi love testing their stuff. And it's useful, so why not?" There were a lot more inventions, some of which Tsuna would classify as NOT SAFE complete with capital letters, at their base. He swore the next time the inventors decided to open a dimensional portal, or whatever the black thing in the living room was, he would flip a table at them.

"Then can I ask another question, Tsunayoshi?"

The brunet blinked at the rather dangerous glint in Fon's eyes. Though the baby's face remained deceptively calm. He quickly put his eyes on the road as a car beeped and he swerved to avoid the vehicle. "Yes?"

"Do you know who Lambo Bovino is? Or rather his... Family?"

There was silence for a bit as Tsuna neared Brown-san's place. He stopped next to the shop, putting a foot down on the ground, but didn't get off the bike. "I... Don't know the Bovino's," he said truthfully. "I _do_ know that we've been asked to take care of him, and aside from all his grenades and explosive firearms, he's been no trouble." Okay, so there may be a _slight_ fib in there but the boy did try his best around Tsuna.

He also understood that Fon wasn't a normal baby. Normal babies couldn't knock out grown men in the blink of an eye. Normal babies wouldn't be called 'master' by a little girl that could explode and also make grown men lose control of their limbs with a smelly gyoza bun. So if he trusted what his intuition was telling him, Fon was very aware of who, or rather, what the Bovino's were. Why else would the martial artist ask?

"The last email we ever got was from the Cavallone, asking us to take care of Lambo after we managed to track him down in China. We found I-pin with him."

Fon raised an inquisitive brow. "So you work for the Cavallone?"

Tsuna spluttered. "What?! No, no!" He shook head, sending his hair flying and brushing against Fon still on his shoulder. "I'd never work for the mafia! And neither would Spanner!" The blond had pretty much attached himself to Tsuna. "The only reason we took the request was because it was asking us to find a kid!"

Fon's chuckle stopped the flustered brunet and Tsuna found himself relaxing at the sound as he felt the baby calm down. Calm down? When had Fon ever been not calm?

"I apologise for interrogating you. I didn't want I-pin involved in anymore underground work, at least until she's old enough to choose for herself."

"No, it's okay. Um... Underground work?"

"The triads already want to give her an assignment," Fon said casually, but Tsuna got the impression that the baby was upset.

Tsuna's eyes widened comically. "Triads? She's only five!"

"Yes, but she comes from a long line of assassins, the Pinzu Time bomb was passed down from her ancestors, as well as her talent and skills. Just as Lambo is the Bovino's heir and has his own hidden talents."

Tsuna's mind was spinning. Lambo was the what?! And I-pin worked for the triads?! Sure, he was only a few years older but that really was too young. Sure, I-pin did have strange abilities, and Lambo, despite being an annoying brat, had the mind of a sponge, able to speak over a dozen languages without issues and knew how to use firearms of all kinds. Both of them were stronger than normal children too. But...

He shook his head and turned to look at Fon, eye flashing an eerie orange in determination. "They're just kids. I don't care about background or their circumstance but they're happy here and as long as they want to stay they're welcome to. Adults have no right to interfere."

Fon's eyes crinkled up and he raised a hand to rest on Tsuna's head. "You're still a child yourself." Tsuna's lips turned up in a disgruntled pout, he couldn't argue with that. "But I thank you. I-pin will stay as long as she wants to." Lichi squeaked in agreement.

Tsuna grinned, and finally got off his bike to go get the morning papers off Brown-san and the machine that helped him deliver them. That part attached to the front of his bike and would shoot the papers with pinpoint accuracy to house fronts or mailboxes.

* * *

When Colonnello arrived, guns toting, it was in the middle of the night when the boys were sleeping over at the base. Well, the others were sleeping, Tsuna was still up filling a financial spreadsheet for Takarada Co. That didn't mean he wasn't startled when Fon, who was watching him work with curious sort of interest, started glowing a bright red.

Or rather, his pacifier did.

And then a bunch of gun shots pierced the silence. "It's training time, kids! Kora-! Whoa!"

A bunch of cluttering sounds followed and Ryohei's bellow of 'WHAT THE EXTREME?!' Must have woken anyone in the vicinity.

Colonnello appeared, glowing a bright blue, at the door to Tsuna's office with steaming guns and a startled expression on his face. "Fon?"

The martial artist had been startled too, if Tsuna read the very slight relaxation of previously tense limbs properly. "Greetings, Colonnello. I did not know you were the one who taught these children." Though it explained much if Colonnello was the one responsible.

The blond leapt onto Tsuna's table while Falco, Colonnello's bird, landed on Tsuna and began to run a beak though his hair affectionately. "Yeah. Remember how I said I wanted to take up a hobby, kora? Teaching's fun!" The glow from their pacifiers dimmed slowly.

The door banged open again, Ryohei, Takeshi, Spanner and Shōichi rushing in with ninja costumes on. Spanner was holding a spare.

Colonello grinned, teeth stark white in the dim light. "All right boys! Let's begin, kora!"

"It's 1am!" Tsuna protested, Falco went to land on Colonnello. "And I've still got to do the budgeting for public expenditures!"

He screeched as a bullet brushed his hair. Why the hell was their ninja sensei -the one who insisted on no firearms!- such a trigger happy baby?! He made a quick escape by leaping out of the window behind him, his laptop in hand.

Fon watched as the other boys ran to the window (they were on the top floor after all) in a panic. Only to find Tsuna not there.

With a bellow -from Ryohei- they quickly ran out of the room via the door as Colonnello fired more shots at them.

Tilting his head, Fon brought his sleeve up to chuckle into it before offering his help with this unusual 'training'.

* * *

**OMAKE**

There was one thing Tsuna's friends all agreed on within a week of getting to know him.

Tsuna was absolutely incapable of staying out of trouble.

Hell, Takeshi would eat his sword if Tsuna lasted three days without being asked/employed into doing something.

Normally things like helping old Yumasaki-san fix up her old rickety car when it broke down (which Takeshi swore happened weekly) was simple enough, even if it made him and Tsuna almost late for school. Helping to find someone's lost pet? Easy enough. Putting on a fluffy bunny costume and handing out flyers because the original employer came down with gastritis? Also easy, if somewhat traumatising (fan-girls/boys would be the death of them). Even the alpaca that had been dumped on them by a random farmer travelling through Namimori (who didn't look likely to come back for his pet any time soon) Tsuna took care of with ease. And this was just the stuff Tsuna got into when Takeshi or Spanner or Shōichi, or even Ryohei was with him.

When he was left alone, Tsuna got into the most ridiculous situations.

-OJT-

**Shopkeeper**

"Hey Tsuna," Takeshi said cheerfully into his phone (courtesy of Spanner and Shōichi, his was a nice shiny blue). He had called at the first opportunity seeing as Tsuna hadn't turned up to first period. "Where are you?"

A few suspicious bangs and what sounded like some uncharacteristic cursing in another language followed until Tsuna's breathless voice got back to him.

_"Kawahira-san asked me to take care of his store while he went out for ramen. It's been three hours, and he's not back yet!"_

Takeshi didn't know a 'Kawahira' but evidently he was one of the store owners in the market area. Though he wasn't sure what type of store would make Tsuna sound so annoyed, nor why the sound of metal clanging against metal suddenly came over the phone.

"Tsuna... Are you fighting a swordsman?" He would know, Takeshi wasn't training under his old man for nothing.

 _"Du verdammtes Schwert!*"_ A crashing sound followed and then Tsuna's voice again, _"I'm fighting a sword! It's literally floating in the air and attacking me!"_ A shriek followed and then another loud crash. _"Stop destroying merchandise!"_

There was a moment of silence before Takeshi laughed, big grin in place. "That sounds fun!"

Tsuna, on the other end, sweat dropped and blocked another slash with the small blades he kept on his person before grabbing the first thing he could reach, a gloopy green thing, and flinging it at the annoying sword. Seriously, just how much weird stuff did Kawahira-san own? Evidently not enough, Tsuna mused as the blade was suddenly consumed by the green thing and the thing began to grow and grow until it towered above the little brunet.

Tsuna gulped as he faced the... Slime boss.

_"Takeshi! If you think it's fun come here and help me!"_

-OJT-

**Hibari-keeper**

"Tsuna-san, why the are you in China?!" Shōichi yelled into his phone. He swore, last he checked, the brunet had still been in school. Takeshi winced, he had baseball practice that day and hadn't been able to walk with Tsuna to their base.

_"Hibari-san...! Kidnapped me! Need... To...! HIBARI-SAN! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL THAT POOR TRIAD MEMBER IF YOU THROW HIM OUT THE WINDOW!"_

The sound of a terrified man evidently sobbing his relief into Tsuna's shirt was the last they heard before the line went dead.

-OJT-

**Spanner's fault**

"Tsuna, what are you doing all the way at Mt. Fuji?" Spanner asked nonchalantly when he noticed the brunet's strange location on their personal Tsuna-tracker app.

_"Ah, some people came by in a van and asked if I could help them set up a skiing competition."_

"... Don't you know better than to get into a van full of strangers?"

_"They were asking for help!"_

"Where is your self-preservation?"

_"It's your fault! I came with you when we first met, and you were nothing but some weirdo with a lollipop."_

Takeshi laughed as Spanner started squabbling (or reasoning, depending on how you saw it) with Tsuna over the phone. Ryohei then barged in, asking if he should EXTREMELY book tickets for the Shinkansen to Mt. Fuji to pick his little bro up.

-OJT-

Yes, Tsuna's friends tried their best to make sure Tsuna wasn't left alone to get into trouble, or at least be there with him when he did, inevitably, walk in trouble. It didn't always work though, especially when the ones who went out their way to get Tsuna into trouble were part of the group.

"LET'S GO DIRT BIKING LITTLE BRO!"

"Wha-! Hey!" Tsuna yelled around a mouthful of toast as he was thrown over a shoulder like a sack of potatoes and whisked away.

Spanner took one look at the retreating duo and the prefect that, surprisingly, joined them, and shook his head.

"Jeez, those boys... They should have taken some food with them if they are going on a picnic," Nana said in her gentle scolding tone. How did dirt biking translate to picnic?

"Lambo-san wants to go on a picnic, Mamma!" Lambo yelled eagerly.

The woman smiled indulgently and nodded, "sure, it's should be nice by the riverbank today."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *You damn sword - Thanks to Doomsteiner01's translation and very quick review on FFN.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "italics" = speaking in Italian

If Tsuna thought having Colonnello-sensei as their teacher was bad, having both Fon and Colonnello was much much worse. It wasn't because they were particularly cruel or mean, they were very nice actually, but the combination of Colonnello's 'you can do anything as long as you have the motivation, kora!' And Fon's Confucian 'life is a journey riddled with unexpected obstacles, obtaining any skill, regardless of use, is an advantage' made any protests impossible.

And Tsuna very much wanted to protest as he felt his muscles creak and on the verge of collapsing as he tried his hardest to hold onto the only thing that was keeping him from dropping into the piranha infested pool below him. (Where had their teachers gotten it from anyway?)

Two weeks in and Tsuna decided that trying to juggle all his jobs and this ninja training was perhaps the most difficult thing he'd ever done, it was on par with convincing Ryohei that no, he didn't want to be part of the boxing club. At the very least Tsuna stood his ground when it came to making time to do his jobs, and Fon and Colonnello were at least lenient enough about it to let him do so, thankfully. And it wasn't like his friends didn't have other things to do too; Takeshi still had kendo with his father, Shōichi and Spanner still had inventing/hacking or whatever else those two got into at the labs, and Ryohei had to take care of his sister.

Luckily it was summer break because having _school_ at the same time would have probably killed him.

Though he was sure he was going to die anyway. Especially when the pink grenade came flying at him. He watched in dread as it blew up, scorched him, and he inevitably let go with a yelp.

He sobbed to himself as the air flew past him. He was going to die as fish food.

* * *

Tsuna would tase Colonnello-sensei if he ever got the chance to.

The little boy stood at the top of a very tall and shiny building that almost blended in with the other surrounding very tall and shiny buildings. He was smack bang in the middle of a city, in Italy. If he read the words on the building across from his correctly.

When he woke up, he'd been pleased to see that he was _not_ dead and then started wishing he was when he discovered he was on a jet being flown by his baby sensei. Apparently he'd lost whatever ridiculous competition they were having when he let go -even if it was due to outside interference- and now he had to do his sensei a favour.

"It's easy, kora. You just need to deliver these flowers while singing this."

Tsuna stared at the large extravagant bunch of carnations and piece of paper. "...And who am I delivering this to?"

"The most beautiful lady in the world, of course!"

That told Tsuna absolutely nothing and he was pushed out of the jet before he could even get another word out.

And so, clutching the large batch of flowers the boy sighed and entered the building.

* * *

_"STOP!"_

"Hiieee! I'm sorry!" Tsuna yelled as he jumped up and out of the grip of the man trying to grab him.

The building was too big!

He had been wondering aimlessly for over an hour. He got a few funny looks from people that looked very much like office workers but no one had stopped him, at least until that one man walked into him as he'd been sneaking around a more restricted area and he accidentally knocked him out by habit.

It was just unfortunate someone else had been there.

He turned the corner, noted it was empty, whipped out his taser gun, and quickly knocked that guy out too.

Tsuna waited with bated breath for anyone to come along and quickly breathed a sigh of relief as silence continued through the corridor. He grabbed the two men and, with much struggle, put them in the janitor's closet while apologising under his breath the entire time.

Retrieving the flowers, he scampered into a new area and wondered where to go next.

_"Are you lost?"_

Tsuna shrieked again, heart pounding, before turning to find a blond boy about his age with blue eyes. Tsuna scratched his cheek, blushing fervently. _"Um, yes. I'm trying to find, um, 'the most beautiful lady in the world'."_

The boy appeared as confused as Tsuna felt but smiled and introduced himself as Basil. _"May I ask what she looks like-"_

"Basil!" A blue haired baby with a red visor barked, as she dashed into the room. _"Your stupid oaf of a master is- Who is this?"_

_"Ah Lal, this is... Um, I didn't get your name."_

_"You mean he's a civilian? How did he get in here?!"_

But Tsuna was too busy connecting the dots to pay much attention to the conversation. Colonnello was a baby that didn't feel like one, this Lal was also a baby that emitted an aura and knowledge far beyond her physical years.

Well, that made things much simpler.

Smiling, because he'd _finally_ found the 'beautiful lady' and he would be rid of this large bunch of flowers now, he bowed and presented the carnations to Lal.

Lal blinked and barely got a 'what' out before Tsuna opened up the piece of music and started singing.

_"'Your eyes sparkle brighter than all the stars_

_Your voice sings clearer than all the larks_

_Your beauty and passion are truer than the sky is blue_

_As long as it is you, I will always love-'"_

Midway, Tsuna was grabbed and dragged out of the room by a distraught Basil, whom promptly shut the door.

And just in time too.

_"COLONNELLO, YOU- YOU- IDIOT!"_

Tsuna's ears rung and he swore steam streamed out from under the door.

The boy blinked and tilted his head. Basil, once again, saved him as he was dragged to the side just as the door blew right off its hinges and a demon appeared, with an impressive amount of firearms and weapons on her person.

Lal, face bright pink, shredded through the corridor in a hunt for the blond.

Basil turned to Tsuna again as the corridor became silent. _"So... How did you get in here and through all the security?"_

Tsuna blinked and thought back. Right... He _might_ have broken through the security without realising it. Spanner had a habit of scattering random pass-codes, scanners and cameras throughout Tsuna's life. Like the 'kitty' incident didn't teach him enough about being wary of surveillance materials. Usually the cameras were rendered useless by his phone which automatically emitted interfering electromagnetic waves, the pass-codes and scanners Tsuna got used to cracking so much so that it became almost natural to do it.

Tsuna rubbed his head sheepishly and let out an awkward laugh. "Um-"

They were interrupted once again, and thankfully for Tsuna, by the appearance of a teenage blond girl with glasses. _"Basil? What happened with Lal?"_

 _"Oregano,"_ Basil greeted. _"This boy was looking for Lal and delivered flowers and a serenade from..."_ He turned to Tsuna with a curious tilt of his head, long blond bangs brushing against his face. "Colonnello?"

Tsuna nodded and offered a shy smile.

The smile was wiped as Lal appeared again, guns blazing. _"You! Kid! Come with me!"_

 _Hiiee!_ Tsuna thought as he started to run from the very scary looking baby. He leapt out of the closest open window just as Lal was about to grab him.

Tsuna landed safely in the jet and scowled (pouted) at the grinning blond baby.

"How was it, kora?"

"COLONNELLO!" Ah, Lal had jumped after Tsuna.

_"Whoa, Lal! You're more beautiful every time I-"_

BANG! BANG!

 _"DON'T FIGHT ON THE JET!"_ Tsuna shrieked. And got a few bullets for his effort.

Back at, yes, the one and only CEDEF headquarters that Tsuna had just left, a buff blond in a suit found Oregano and Basil peering out of a window at the wildly dancing army jet outside.

_"Hey guys, what's going on? I just got a call from downstairs about malfunctioning cameras."_

_"Colonnello visited, Master."_ Basil replied, is if it explained everything. Considering that it was the rain Arcobaleno, it probably did.

Iemitsu nodded and grinned at the jet outside. A sound from next to him took his attention and he opened the door to the janitor's closet. _"... Turmeric, what are you and Hawthorn doing in here? Did you know Colonnello came by?"_

Tumeric rubbed his head and shook it. _"So that's why there was a random kid with flowers,"_ he mumbled to himself. Speaking up, he replied, _"it's nothing, boss."_

Iemitsu grinned in relief, helping the man up before putting a hand on Basil's small shoulder. " _Ooh, you know I thought I heard my adorable son's voice today! I've got to get you two to meet sometime, Basil, I think you'll like him."_

Basil smiled up at the blond man. _"Of course I would be honoured to meet your son, Master!"_

As they all headed back to the main offices, behind them, the jet went down in flames.

* * *

Hayato Gokudera was a stubborn silvered haired boy. That stubbornness had gotten him this far; away from his family of liars and closer to his goal of making a name for himself, or of finding someone worthy that he could trust and follow to the ends of the world.

That last option had only been opened up due to an incident almost two years ago.

If only he could find that person again.

Two years ago, he ran away from home after he'd discovered just how many lies he'd been fed since birth and why he was treated with scorn among his... 'Family'. He still mourned the loss of the piano teacher who had actually been his _mother_.

He'd also been caught and almost taken back, kicking and screaming, had his Saviour not appeared. The boy had the most unruly fluffy brown hair and the clearest and most honest eyes Hayato had ever seen. But at the time he'd been too full of grief and anguish, too busy nursing his own wounds, to pay attention to anything else. And his own pride had gotten in the way when he'd pushed the boy away as he always did to anyone who got too close.

It was a long while after he'd gotten away, that he thought back and realised that he might have missed an opportunity then. That his Saviour had not jumped to his rescue for any sort of profit in mind other than wanting to help; and that was exactly the sort of person Hayato wanted to follow if he were to follow anyone.

So the silver haired boy had backtracked, found some of the street kids who described the boy as amazing for beating down the adults -as if Hayato didn't know that- but they had no clue where the brunet had gone despite trying to recruit him.

_"He was with this other blond kid, and they got away really fast, you should have seen them! They even ran into an officer you know, and we thought they were done for! But he did it again -you know, that flashy thing- and the officer got knocked out before he even saw them."_

As fascinating as it was to hear this, Hayato's first priority was to find out where they went.

 _"Nope, we stopped our chase because one officer down, draws others."_ The grimy teen picked his nose and shrugged. _"A pity, those kids would have been real good on our team."_

So he got nothing.

Hayato scoured the city for months, taking on a few regular civilian jobs between trying to build his own reputation as a hitman and expanding his information resources. He grudgingly admitted that it was thanks to his reluctant mentor back at his 'family's' place that he knew how to survive in this harsh world. Over a year passed before he even realised it and he was on the urge of considering giving up his search when he found him.

His Saviour emerged from the burning wreckage of a jet that had crashed into the construction site near Hayato's apartment.

The brunet sat on top of one scorched and broken wing, flaming bits of metal raining down around him, muttering under his breath and looking rather upset with the blond baby that sat on one shoulder. On the other shoulder was a blue haired baby who wore a scowl on her face.

_"That was great steering, kora!"_

Tsuna blew. _"Why did you have to fight on an_ airborne _jet! What if we crashed into a building and hurt people!"_

 _"But we didn't,"_ Colonello grinned and turned to Lal. _"What do you think of Tsuna here?"_

The blue haired baby blinked. _"He's pretty good..."_ She said very carefully, eyes narrowed at the blond suspiciously at the topic change. The brunet had taken over the steering when the petrol tank burst from a stray bullet and they were busy fighting. She was rather surprised he'd managed to, not only steer the thing, but land -or rather, crashed- in the only place that had no people in the busy city.

_"Awesome, because I was thinking that if we had a kid, I would want someone like Tsuna, kora."_

Lal flushed and attempted to slap the blond on the other shoulder. _"Don't go suggesting something so presumptuous, you idiot!"_

_"What? You don't want a kid like Tsuna?"_

Lal took a good look at Tsuna who blinked back with his large eyes and pink cheeks, appearing rather embarrassed with this entire conversation.

Lal blushed and scowled at the blond. _"I didn't say that, you shameless idiot!"_

 _"Great!"_ Colonnello crowed and Tsuna suddenly had a very bad feeling...

_"We can adopt Tsuna as our son, kora!"_

Tsuna's mouth flopped open. _"I have parents, you know!"_

His protest was drowned out by another shout, this time, full of awe.

 _"THAT IS... SO COOL!"_ A silver haired boy stood at the edge of the wreckage, much closer than the rest of the building crowd dared to venture. His green eyes practically sparkled as he looked at Tsuna.

_"I can't believe you're the adopted son of Master Colonnello and Master Lal!"_

The Colonnello and Tsuna shared a look that showed neither had any idea who this was.

The silver head quickly kneeled and prostrated himself rather enthusiastically. _"My name is Hayato Gokudera! Please let me follow you!"_ He looked up, eager green eyes shining.

It took a few seconds of stunned silence for Tsuna to realise the boy was talking to him. And another full minute for him to start panicking. _"Wait, what?!"_ As the green eyes took on a pleading sheen, he quickly agreed. _"Okay, okay! But... Why?"_

 _"Because Master Tsuna had been the only one to save me in my time of need!"_ Hayato chanted with vigour. And judging by the conversation just now, his Saviour also had a big heart, to care about the civilians of a city he did not even personally know. _"I will follow you anywhere!"_

While Tsuna was dealing with this new crisis, Lal, on his shoulder, was trembling with suppressed anger, which finally burst just as Tsuna felt himself click, his honey eyes widening.

_"You're... that boy..."_

_"Colonnello! Don't just adopt a kid for us when we're not married!"_ Lal leapt for the blond baby.

Tsuna ignored the fight as he leapt onto Hayato and hugged him tightly. _"Thank goodness you're alright! I was really worried since you just ran off that time!"_

 _"M-master T-Tsu-n-na."_ The silveret, for the life of him, couldn't stop his stuttering when he found his arms full of his brunet saviour. He was on the verge of fainting from the blood rushing to his face.

Tsuna was ecstatic, he _had_ been worried at the time and the silveret stood out among the blur of craziness that the entire trip two years ago consisted of. He had no idea why, but meeting this boy again made him feel as if he got back something that had been missing from his life this entire time.

 _"But Lal! I've been asking for years for a date, a marriage, and a honeymoon! At least Tsuna can be proof of our love!"_ Colonnello was still going at it with Lal, desecrating what was left of the plane.

Tsuna's eyes snapped toward the duo. _"Don't use me as a symbol!"_

 _"You're cute, Tsuna,"_ Colonnello called in all seriousness as he dodged another deadly barrage of bullets from his love. _"And since I know Lal likes cute things, it all works out, kora!"_

_"It does not, IDIOT!"_

_"Don't fight!"_ Tsuna pleaded.

 _"A-ah, M-master T-Tsuna, m-maybe we s-should m-move..."_ Hayato gasped between hyperventilating. Tsuna was still clinging to him.

Tsuna realised that they really were drawing way too much attention and he could see police uniforms making their way through the crowd. Digging into his pockets he found the smoke bombs and quickly put them to use as he ran off with this new boy in tow and the two babies still arguing on his shoulders.

The awesome exit did nothing to deter Hayato's hero worship.

* * *

 _"This is Smoking Bomb Hayato,"_ Lal stated after she'd calmed down. Tsuna had eventually managed to get them to stop by resorting to taking the role of their 'son' and reasoning that he didn't want to see them fighting all the time, complete with cute teary eyes and endearing pout.

 _"Smoking bomb...?"_ That was strange nickname, Tsuna thought as he handed an ice cream to the silveret. They were a nice distance away from their wreckage and had stopped at an open market place.

_"Yes, a new hitman that just started out."_

Tsuna's eyes widened. _"What? Hitman?!"_

Hayato was blushing, he had a bad case of mafia fanboy syndrome around all these important figures and was honoured to be known by one of the infamous Arcobaleno, no less! _"I haven't made a hit though..."_ He mumbled, flushing. _"Mostly reconnaissance._ "

 _"Oh yeah, Tsuna's a civilian."_ Colonnello commented. The blond grinned, just as usual, but with an edge that made Hayato shiver. _"So if you want to be his follower, you might want to give that up."_

Tsuna stopped lapping his gelato to frown a little. _"I don't want to be the reason you stop something you want to do,"_ he told Hayato sincerely. As dubious as a 'hitman' job sounded, Tsuna understood very well the attachment someone could develop for their occupation. Sure, he complained, but he truly loved his jobs, as stressful they were; he kept every fan mail he got from his books, took all compliments for his design work with a bemused but lofty flush to his cheeks and enjoyed being depended upon at the company. Even his less grand jobs, whether one he got temporarily or like his paper delivering job, had it's own perks and one thing Tsuna discovered was that he enjoyed being of use, no matter how small (or large) a part he played.

The silveret flushed and shook his head vehemently, he had only become a hitman because he wanted to make a name for himself; to separate himself from the only status he had as the bastard son of his father to someone who could be recognised and revered in the mafia. But now Hayato was beginning to realise that perhaps what he really wanted wasn't that. The mafia didn't have to be part of his life just as it wasn't for this boy who obviously knew people from that world but at the same time wasn't part of it.

And Hayato already knew that this boy, who wore his heart on his sleeve, hadn't changed since that time almost two years ago. That was why his eyes flashed determinedly as he claimed, in the only way he knew how, _"I will follow Tsuna-sama to the ends of the earth!"_

The brunet felt déjà vu come over him and rubbed his head in exasperation. "Why," he asked as he turned his eyes skyward, and promptly bought everyone and himself some panna cotta having finished his gelato because sweets always helped with his stress levels. Then he turned back to Hayato and said, _"...you know, I don't really want a follower."_

Seeing the flash of hurt cross Hayato's eyes, he smiled reassuringly, with a hint of cheek. _"I want a friend."_

Hayato's eyes widened impossibly before he started to blush bright red. He'd never had anyone say something like that to him before... And was his sav- no, Master Tsuna teasing him?!

Tsuna hugged the silver head as he released an awkward smile. Both full of wry humour and entirely too grateful as he blinked back tears. Hayato let his arms wrap around the other's warm presence, allowing himself to lean on someone for the first time since he ran away from home.

Colonnello turned to Lal. _"Aren't they just adorable, kora?"_

Lal scowled. _"They need more backbone!"_

* * *

 _"Hm, that reminds me, where are we, kora?"_ Colonnello asked as Tsuna continued to lead them who knows where. Tsuna suddenly stopped and they all stared up at the tall shiny building with a large extravagant fountain in the middle of the courtyard leading to the entrance.

The name 'TAKARADA' could be seen in large gilded metal at the top spitting sparkling streams of water.

Tsuna scratched his cheek sheepishly. _"Sorry, since we're in Italy anyway I thought I should give the branch a check up."_

And check he did. He had never been to this branch before, so many of the workers didn't know him. Which was okay in Tsuna's books until they wanted to enter the more restricted floors. Well, they already made it ten floors beyond the restriction point before Tsuna realised what he was doing. And it was only due to Colonnello, Lal and Hayato's rather disconcerting stares that he even realised.

 _"Is something wrong?"_ He asked.

 _"Do you always do that?"_ Lal asked, looking pointedly at what Tsuna was doing with his hands.

He looked, and blinked at the opened card scanner panel and the assortment of wires he was fiddling with. "Eheh," he laughed nervously as he unlocked the door and put all the parts back in place. _"Sorry, bad habit."_

 _"So cool,"_ Hayato murmured in awe.

 _"Hey! Who are you kids!?"_ A rather strict looking man sporting a few scars spotted them. To Tsuna's dread, Hayato went on instant defensive mode, a string of explosives appearing in his hands as he stood forward.

_"Master Tsuna can go wherever he wants!"_

_"No, wait-!"_

BOOM!

Tsuna tried, he really did. But chaos seemed to love him and somehow or another, Hayato managed to blow up the room and those surrounding it. Luckily, it didn't look like he managed to kill the man, only knock him out.

But the sounds drew more people and the security guards who looked more like experienced thugs. Of course that just made things worse. Just how _many_ explosives did Hayato have?! But what made it even more worse was when Colonnello and Lal jumped into the fray.

_"Hey, don't touch Tsuna, kora!"_

_"Idiot! You have to let him get some experience! Or he'll be a pipsqueak for life!"_

_"You saw his crying face, Lal! Are you sure you want to see that again?"_

_"Man up and stop spoiling him!"_

Tsuna just sighed and ducked as a man tried to grab him. He shot him with his taser-gun. Better that than the bullets Colonnello and Lal shot.

 _"Just what is going on-"_ Oh, the president of this company branch had appeared. The woman, a lady with vivid red hair in her mid thirties, saw Tsuna and paled. "Tsuna-sama!" She gasped, instantly reverting back to Japanese. As she rushed up to the boy everyone stopped and just stared.

"I wasn't expecting a visit!" The woman said enthusiastically, sounding not at all offended at the wreakage they made of four entire floors of the nice shiny building. "I apologise for all these unruly men, they don't know what you look like."

"It's nice to see you again, Laura-san," Tsuna said politely. "It's fine." After all, many of the men lay on the ground unconscious, and plenty of furniture and walls had been broken, while his companions remained unscathed. He could see an eager sheen in the woman's eyes and he very reluctantly relented to the silent plea. "...and you can hug me."

The woman squealed and glomped him. Tsuna resisted the urge to squirm. She turned and glared at the remaining men. _"This boy here is very important, so you can't hurt him, understood?"_ She ordered in Italian. Getting nods, she smiled again and ordered them to clean up as she gave Tsuna one last squeeze and led the guests upstairs.

Hayato watched in fascination as Tsuna-sama discussed an assortment of Very Important Business Deals with the lady who was obviously in charge of this company. He'd concluded that the brunet was definitely Japanese, especially with the accent in his Italian. So calling Tsuna, Tsuna-sama was much more appropriate.

Somehow, through the short journey up the floors of this building, his Tsuna-sama had managed to isolate the individuals that were either ill suited to their current position, needed a raise, or were actually spies from another company altogether. And he'd barely seen the boy do more than watch those people as they were making their way up. Masters Colonnello and Lal seemed just as interested, not arguing/flirting at all as they watched the interactions.

Two hours and one grand dinner later, and they were on a private jet, being flown home.

 _"Where do you live?"_ Tsuna asked Hayato.

The silver haired boy grinned and said, _"I'm following Tsuna-sama!"_

_"You do realise I'm returning to Japan, right?"_

"Yes!" Hayato replied in Japanese. "No need to worry about language barriers, I taught myself Japanese!" After he learned his mother was half.

Tsuna tilted his head and sighed as he rubbed his temples and reverted back to his home language. "Okay, but eventually you'll have to face your family problems, Hayato..."

Hayato blinked in surprise. He hadn't said anything about his family situation.

Tsuma smiled sadly. "But it's nice to get away for a while."

Hayato broke out in to an eager grin. "Thank you, Tsuna-sama!"

The brunet pouted. "Call me Tsuna."

Ugh, cute face. But Hayato couldn't. "It would be disrespectful, Tsuna-sama!"

Colonnello patted Tsuna's head from where he sat on the brunet's shoulder. "Let him, it's all good fun, kora."

Tsuna sent a dry look at the blond before turning to the only other person who may be able to stop the silver head.

Lal snorted from her seat and smirked. "I thought you had a good handle on being called respectfully."

Tsuna's shoulders slumped in defeat.

Lal left when they flew over the building she worked at with a few strict words about not spoiling Tsuna unnecessarily. Colonnello had grinned, a hint of triumph in his posture as he suggested a fun family outing between them, which got him a bright red hand print on his cheek.

Tsuna just wanted to know how he got another set of parents whom were half his size, well, at least he had Hayato now. And as Tsuna watched the silveret doze off in the seat next to his he couldn't help but feel more complete.


	12. Chapter 12

The meeting of Hayato and the other members of the motley gang was... Explosive, to say the least. Takeshi drove the silver head up a wall, Ryohei did the same in an even more dimwitted kind of way. Let's not even mention the disaster of a Lambo and Hayato meeting and what happened _every single time._

"Hayato, you can't kill Lambo!"

Cue the boy dropping the five year old and hiding his dynamites, turning to Tsuna with proverbial dog ears and wagging tail. "Of course, Tsuna-sama!"

"Waaah! Bakadera was stealing my candy!"

"WHO WOULD WANT YOUR CANDY YOU STUPID COW!"

BOOOM!

Rinse, and repeat.

Hibari was as violent and territorial as ever and Tsuna was manhandled and juggled about like a toy as the prefect and bomber fought over him. Apparently Hayato's was too loud and a herbivore to boot and the little fox was not allowed to bring the boy into his school if it meant damaging property, Tsuna pointing out that Hibari constantly damaged Namimori too was probably not his wisest moment as he had to run and hide very quickly before he was bitten to death. He was saved when Colonnello came in, claimed that it was Tsuna's training time and ran off with the brunet in tow.

Hayato got along surprisingly well with Shōichi and Spanner though. Tsuna had already noticed that that silver head was hiding a genius mind. And Tsuna let him live at the base for fear of damage to his home. Luckily the place wasn't empty what with all of them, sans Hibari, over there during the day -Spanner, Shōichi and himself often staying overnight- and the wild assortment of animals that lived there because Tsuna couldn't fit more than Natsu and the alpaca at his home.

The bull, otherwise wisely named as Gyuudon (Beef bowl!) by Lambo, they got when they went on a family trip to the countryside one weekend. Somehow Tsuna had been asked to take care care of a farm while the farmer ran off with his wife in labour... Since Lambo got so attached to the only animal that could tolerate him and give him rides, the farmer had given it to them as thanks even though Tsuna had _absolutely no idea_ how to get the very very large animal back to Namimori let alone where it could possibly _stay_. He ended up having to hire a truck and convert one of the outdoor lawns of the shopping centre into a petting zoo of sorts, spicing it up with a few chickens, rabbits and a silly goat that refused to stay in its pen.

The Akita dog and swallow Takeshi managed to pick up when they took an impromptu business trip to Hokkaidō. It involved something about snowboarding, accidentally finding a hot-spring and the pup and bird trapped in a crevice. Apparently the pup was trying to save the little bird whose wing was broken but got stuck also. Tsuna had not been at the scene at the time, too busy meeting his German editor to go over the finer details of releasing his second book. Takeshi had turned up, drenched and proudly carrying the injured puppy and little bird with a wide grin even though he was shivering from hypothermia.

Tsuna, with a wry sense of amusement, set up an onsen and recreational resort in Takeshi's name for his discovery. And Takeshi named his new dog Jirou and the bird Kojirou. At least they were relatively smaller and could follow Takeshi home most of the time.

And while we're on the subject of pets, Hibari got another one too, a thorny little hedgehog Tsuna and the disciplinary committee discovered one day when they were cleaning out the unused pool at Nami-chuu. The little creature had been hiding among the dry leaves that had gathered in one corner and had pricked anyone that tried to pick it up. Hibari, getting annoyed at all the time wasting and wailing of his still-budding committee, had swept in and, to the his committee's surprise (who expected him to bite the hedgehog to death), picked up the hedgehog with his new jacket. The skylark left with a scathing glare at his committee to hurry up.

Tsuna just smiled and got his senpai another jacket. He was pretty sure the hedgehog's name was Roll now.

He did draw the line at Ryohei's pet though. The kangaroo (a freaking kangaroo!) the boxer had somehow found and recruited into his building club. Tsuna had kind of just stood there and stared in disbelief as the animal boxed with Ryohei and, afterwards, went straight to grazing on the new baseball field Tsuna just just finished fixing up in Nami-chuu.

It took a day or two before the repercussions fell on them. The circus troupe performing in the next town over had stormed in, demanding their kangaroo back. (Tsuna still had no idea what the kangaroo _did_ in the circus.) Tsuna, of course it had to be him, had to intervene before the boxing club started a fight to keep their new member (and subsequently, drew the disciplinary committee, which would have turned the fight into a _slaughter_ ).

The brunet leapt into the scene, with his fox mask and cap on, and negotiated for the kangaroo which he doubted Ryohei was going to let go of any time soon.

It cost a lot of money, but really, could he regret it when Ryohei swung a manly arm around his shoulders and claimed they would be bros for life? The only thing he truly regretted was his senpai's brain cells, or lack thereof, when the boxer named his kangaroo Kangaryuu.

Oh, and when the animal decided to reward him by trying to eat his hair.

"Hey! Onii-san's hair looks more like grass than mine!"

"LIL' BRO'S GRASS IS MORE EXTREME!"

"That's not helping!"

Anyway, as it was stated, Hayato hadn't any reason to be lonely, especially not when he obtained his... Pet.

It was when Yuni came over again to be babysitted while Aria attended another meeting. The girl's fascination with cats and felines in general was still running strong and Tsuna just _had to_ wear those ears again at her insistence. Takeshi and Hayato, who were with them at the time, turned rather pink and actually stopped their one sided argument, to Tsuna's surprise. Maybe he should wear them more often ...or not, he was pretty sure Hibari still had that photo of him.

The zoo nearby was holding a special large cat display, so they decided to attend that. Lambo and I-pin tagging along too.

It was halfway through the day when it happened.

They were all separated because none of them, not even the older kids, could seem to stay still (Tsuna always managed to get lost, or wonder off alone, Hayato ended up chasing Lambo to who knew where, and Takeshi, who found himself alone with I-pin, decided to treat the girl to ice-cream.). An explosion rocked the zoo, the wailing alarm went off, and a loud scream soon followed that.

Tsuna, who at the time, managed to lose himself in the giraffe pen with Yuni. (He really needed to watch himself and any locks dammit.) He was sitting on one of the very tall animals with Yuni cuddled in front of him when the alarm sounded and he instantly recognised the scream to be Lambo's. The giraffe let them out in the rhino pen next door where they got a ride and stormed out of that pen heading for the direction of the scream. Tsuna was more worried about his little brother than about apologising to the crowds as he stampeded past.

By the time Tsuna appeared at the scene, it had been cleared, only a few keepers standing around warily but none were actually doing anything. One of the enclosures had been blown open. Hayato was on the ground, curled up around Lambo, protecting him from the impressive leopard that stood, crouched low with its fangs bared at the children. Hayato was also bleeding from the three large gashes on his back.

Tsuna's foot crunched against the gravel, and he tensed as the leopard's red eyes instantly focused on him. He frowned a little as its tail waved.

"Kitty~" Yuni chanted quietly from where she clung to his shorts.

"No, Tsuna-sama!" Hayato yelled as the leopard crouched low and tensed.

Tsuna saw movement from the corner of his eye and in one swift movement, grabbed Yuni and threw her just as the leopard leapt for him.

Takeshi caught the girl easily as Tsuna thrown back by the massive animal and flattened, large paws with sharp claws pining his arms against the gravel.

The leopard opened its mouth, revealing sharp canines. There were shouts from the adults watching, and Takeshi and Hayato both began to run to Tsuna, weapons at the ready.

The leopard then stuck out a tongue and began to lick Tsuna rather rigorously, low rumbling purrs echoing from its body.

Everyone stopped and stared in dumfounded silence.

Tsuna just huffed and pouted as the big cat attempted to clean him. Natsu did this to him too, sometimes. He reached up and righted his cat ears that had been knocked askew by the tackle.

Hayato restarted again, whipping out his dynamites and he ran toward them. "You stupid cat! How dare you jump on Tsuna-sama!"

Takeshi was quick to slice off the fizzing fuses. "Maa maa, Hayato, you can't do that when Tsuna's still there."

The bomber had no time give a scathing yell back as the leopard stopped licking Tsuna to swipe a large paw at the bomber. "You damn cat!" And the two entered a... Cat fight, to put it simply.

Tsuna could tell the leopard was playing though as it knocked the silveret over, just as he knew the cat never intended to eat him. Yuni was ecstatic to get to pat the great cat whilst Lambo just clung to Tsuna and laughed at Gokudera, having gotten over his initial scare.

It took some time for the zookeepers to brave walking up to the weird bunch of kids to apologise and explain that they weren't expecting the leopard to be among the large cats they got last week. Tsuna thought Hayato should have been the one to apologise for blowing up the cage. Either way, they left the zoo at the end of the day relatively unscathed (Hayato sporting a nice new bandage and a shirt with 'I heart pandas' over that) while the zookeepers dealt with the chaos of an escaped rhino and reports of kids in the giraffe pen.

They were halfway home when they found out the leopard had followed them and Hayato instantly entered into another fight with the enormous cat. He got a few more scratches before the leopard won by picking him up by the back of his shirt its jaw while the silveret flailed in the air.

Tsuna just sighed and let the leopard follow them back to the base. He had to wonder why so many of his friends had such unusual pets.

But he had Natsu first, so who was he to complain?

* * *

Before Hayato got his leopard, and named her Uri, there was one other major event. And that was school.

Colonnello and Fon had left before the new school year started, both claiming that they needed to get back to their respective jobs. Fon had left with a ruffle to Tsuna's unruly hair and the promise that the boys would practice their new moves regularly while Colonnello had left, reminding Ryohei to spend time winding down before he told Tsuna to expect a family outing soon and then disappearing in a puff of smoke like a ninja.

Tsuna asked Spanner and Shōichi to enrol I-pin and Lambo into grade one (illegally because they definitely weren't the guardians of kids only five years younger). As Tsuna tackled Hayato's enrolment into their school. Which involved him taking on his middle school principal guise as he visited the grade school principal and managing to negotiate an approval for the guardian-less silveret. Why didn't he do it with Lambo and I-pin? Because he wanted their integration to be as smooth as possible since he'd rather they stayed in school than become hitmen. At least with Hayato they only had two more years before they graduated and Tsuna could enter Hayato into Nami-chuu with less fuss.

There was also the homework Tsuna never had the time to do between Colonnello and Fon's joint 'ninja training', designing, writing, working for the company, delivering papers, getting the middle school sorted out before the term started and whatever else his group of friends and his bad luck managed to get him into. Hayato was actually a blessing in this respect, the silveret was fascinated and more than eager to help Tsuna with the more tedious paperwork. And as long as the silveret kept his dynamites to himself, Hibari would tolerate him.

As for the homework...

"Sawada-kun, I am aware that you are not the brightest child in this class but surely you can do better than this."

Tsuna winced as the stack of papers hit his head and nodded meekly. He could hear mirthful snickers from some of his class.

"HOW DARE-! Mmf!"

Takeshi managed to grab Hayato just as the boy stormed in from where he was waiting to be introduced. Holding the flailing silveret, he grinned, though it did not reach his eyes. "Maa maa, if you're going to scold Tsuna, Sensei, you may as well scold me too. I didn't do mine either. Haha."

The brunet shot his friend a grateful look as the teacher spluttered and promptly gave them both detention before introducing Hayato.

Hayato's presence stirred the class, who recognised the signs of a delinquent when they saw one. The girls giggled while the boys looked at the scowling boy warily. Hayato took the seat behind Tsuna's. One day was all it took for the class to start avoiding Tsuna like the plague. Before, some still chanced the opportunity to poke fun at him or just ignored him but now... Tsuna swore the paint would peel if Hayato's glare was any more deadly.

As for Takeshi, the boy had laughed, swung an arm around Tsuna and got into another one sided argument with Hayato.

It was during their shared detention that Tsuna noticed Takeshi's look as he gazed out the window at the nice new baseball field of the middle school next door.

"You know, if you want, you can join in on the club practice." Grade school didn't really have club activities so Takeshi played in the local junior team on weekends.

Takeshi turned to Tsuna with an unreadable expression.

"Onii-san and Hibari are running their clubs after school even though they're not in middle school. It shouldn't be too hard for you to join baseball training."

Takeshi was silent for a moment before he grinned cheerfully, swung his hands behind his head, and leaned back in his seat. "Nah, I can wait until I get there. I think it's more fun spending time with you, Tsuna."

Tsuna smiled softly.

"Thank you."

* * *

Bonding with Hayato was, frankly, rather hard when the silveret worshipped the very ground Tsuna walked on. In fact, Tsuna could do nothing but stare when Hayato whipped out a notebook titled 'UMA', looking at the brunet with literal sparkles in his eyes as Tsuna signed it awkwardly. He then asked what an UMA was, and would have gotten a five hour lecture on anything and everything to do with the mysterious beings of the world had the company not called halfway through Hayato's tirade and Tsuna had to get to work.

He was never more thankful to do paperwork.

But Tsuna didn't want a worshipper and/or an avid fan of his apparently dubious species (he was human! No matter what most of Nami-chuu and Yuni called him!), he really just wanted a friend, but it seemed Hayato found the concept of friendship rather difficult, so he and the others banded together to try and teach the silveret what it meant.

"It's gives you this fluffy feeling," Takeshi was saying. "Like a 'fuwa fuwa' in your heart."

Tsuna blushed and wondered how the boy wasn't embarrassed at saying something so cheesy.

"THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN YOU IDIOT!"

"I'd say it's like a sort of excitement, you know, your heart can't help but go 'doki doki'!" Was Spanner's blunt explanation.

"That's love." Tsuna dead-panned to the blond.

Spanner blinked at him, and shrugged.

"Hey!" Shōichi got between them, frowning at Spanner's weirdness. Turning to the gaping silveret, the red head adjusted his glasses nervously. "Well, when I first met Tsuna-san my sympathetic neurons were firing non-stop, and I guess my heart rate did go up..." he mused.

"Wait, wait!" Tsuna exclaimed, face red as he waved his arms about. "Are you all using me as the example?"

"Haha, of course Tsuna," Takeshi grinned.

"Jeez, be more diverse!" The brunet exclaimed before turning to the blond. "Say Spanner, how do you feel about Takeshi?"

The blond's lollipop clicked against his teeth. "...I'm hoping he'll test out the new Mosca I made this afternoon."

"Sure!" Takeshi said with a laugh, it was fun testing new inventions. Tsuna always looked at him funny when he said that though.

Tsuna felt ready pull his hair out.

"Tsuna-sama..."

The brunet turned to the silveret who was looking down, his bangs shadowing his face.

"My heart beats the fastest when I'm around you!" Hayato announced, looking up with excitement burning clear in his green eyes. "Does this mean we're best friends?!"

Tsuna didn't know whether to blush or face-palm. He settled for burying his red face into his hands.

Spanner snickered but quickly shut up when Tsuna shot him a glare.

Getting a sudden epiphany, Tsuna turned his head up to look at the silveret. "Yes, we're best friends and the first thing best friends do is lose the honorifics!" He exclaimed, looking pointedly at both Shōichi and Hayato.

Silence, then;

Shōichi flushed and shook his head vigorously.

Hayato stuttered and exclaimed, "I-impossible!"

Tsuna sunk to the ground in depression, crawled over to Spanner, and curled up in his lap like a pillbug. The baseball jock, next to them, patted his back in sympathy.

"Why don't you try saying his name just once," Spanner suggested.

Shōichi tried, he really did. "U-um, T-Tsuna!"

The brunet turned away from Spanner's shoulder, looking up with hopeful doe eyes.

"...san."

Tsuna's face fell.

Hayato had a go too. "T-Ts-Tsu-n-na-"

The brunet's hopeful face, complete with faint sparkles, was like a stab to the heart.

"I'M SORRY I CAN'T TSUNA-SAMA-!"

Spanner sighed and decided it was nigh time to take drastic measures before they all started crying. He looked at the depressed brunet and asked, "well then Tsuna, how do you feel about us?"

It was like magic.

Tsuna instantly reverted to his bubbly self as he announced, with a purity and innocence no one else could display;

"I love you all!"

The sparkles hit them first before the flowers did.

*thump*

"Hiieee! Hayato?!"

* * *

One thing they all discovered was that Tsuna catching a cold meant bad news (which would only get worse the more jobs he accumulated).

Hayato, Takeshi and Ryohei all received a text from Spanner one morning before school.

'SOS.'

Hayato was out the door before he even read the first 'S'.

Takeshi didn't even glance back as he rushed from home, a toothbrush still in his mouth.

Ryohei yelled, "I GOTTA GO!" As he exited, with nary a shout of EXTREME as he zoomed for Tsuna's house.

They arrived at the Sawada household at the same time and a mini mosca let them in. They barely got around to taking off their shoes when one Spanner rushed at them with Lambo and I-pin in each arm and a phone to his ear.

 _"Uh-huh, uh-huh, sure Seil can do it but you'll have to extend the deadline. Sorry I've got to go, I have to take care of his kids."_ Spanner said in German before hanging up to what sounded like someone choking on their coffee.

Turning to the other three, the blond started delegating roles. "Okay, Tsuna's sick and Mamma is out, so Ryohei, you take the kids," he shoved Lambo and I-pin into the boxer's arms. "Hayato and Takeshi can stay and take care of Tsuna. Shōichi and I have to take care of Tsuna's itinerary."

"Lambo wants to stay with Tsuna-nii!" The boy yelled. I-pin didn't voice it but she looked like she wanted to do the same.

Spanner crouched to be on eye level with them. "Tsuna is currently possessed by a monster and if you come close to him, that monster will possess you too," he explained in his usual bland tone.

"Lambo-san is strong! Lambo will defeat the monster!" The boy yelled back defiantly, starting to tear up at the thought of a monster in his Tsuna-nii.

"But Tsuna's already fighting the monster, you know he's strong. You should believe in him and cheer for him from the sidelines."

Lambo was quiet for a moment, letting the thought of his awesome Tsuna-nii sink into his head. "L-Lambo will believe in Tsuna-nii!" Lambo cried. I-pin nodded, looking determined.

Spanner smiled, before standing up again. And then he saw Ryohei's face. "...why are you crying too?"

"T-that was heart wrenching TO THE EXTREME!" Ryohei yelled tearfully. "I'LL BELIEVE IN MY LITTLE BRO TOO!"

A thump from upstairs made them all look towards the stairs.

"Crap," Spanner muttered rubbing his head. "Go, quickly!"

Ryohei ran out with Lambo and I-pin in his arms. "LET'S MAKE GET WELL GIFTS FOR LIL BRO SO HE'LL GET BETTER FASTER!" The other two cheering was the last they heard as they ran down the road.

Spanner went halfway up the stairs. "Tsuna you shouldn't wiggle out of bed like that." The instant Tsuna's name came out of the blond's mouth, Hayato and Takeshi ran up to him.

To find Tsuna half-cocooned in thick blankets a fraction of the way downstairs. Natsu was holding the end of the blankets with his jaw, struggling to pull his master back into his room.

Tsuna's face was flushed, sweat a shiny sheen across his forehead, his honey eyes were glazed. Tsuna sniffled and tried to wiggle some more, one arm coming out in a futile attempt to reach for the next step. "W-work...!" He croaked out in a desperately hoarse voice.

Spanner crouched down to pat Tsuna's head. "Calm down, have a little faith in us, we can take over your jobs while you rest up." Shōichi was already attending a company meeting right now, Spanner would be going out for paper deliveries now and do Tsuna's design work later and the blond had already handed some of Tsuna's manuscript to Hibari, and if Hayato stayed here, the silveret could take any calls that could possibly disrupt Tsuna's rest.

Tsuna teared up and sniffled some more, his large eyes blinked in confusion as if he already forgot what he was doing.

Takeshi chuckled and picked Tsuna up whilst Hayato grabbed the blankets, the brunet squirmed a little before tucking his head under the black-haired boy's chin.

Takeshi's eyes widened as he felt the burning sensation against his neck, almost as hot as an open flame. "Whoa!"

Spanner grimaced. "Yeah his temp is off the charts, always is when he gets a fever, we have no idea why." The blond went back down the stairs, "get him to rest and call any of us if you have trouble."

At first it was easy enough; put Tsuna into bed again, wrap blankets around him, and have Natsu lay closest to the edge of the bed so Tsuna couldn't escape again. Then came the hard part.

"Tsuna-sama, have you taken your meds yet?" Hayato asked, holding up the bottle of syrupy medicine to the brunet. Tsuna blinked blearily at the bottle. Natsu was the one who shook his head in response to the silver haired boy's question.

Hayato turned to grab a spoon and pour some out. He turned back to find Tsuna gone. "Wha-?!" Natsu growled lowly.

"Ow!" Came a shout from downstairs where Takeshi had gone to scoop up some chicken soup Nana had left to cool on the stove. "Tsuna?"

Hayato zoomed down to find the baseball idiot on the ground, a ladle in his hand, and a Tsuna-sama sprawled on top of him.

Tsuna eyed the spoon in Hayato's hand warily as he tried to mould himself into Takeshi.

"Tsuna-sama, it's to help you get better!"

Takeshi, catching on, took a hold of Tsuna. "Come on Tsuna, it's just a bit of med-" his hand around Tsuna's arm went numb as the brunet hit one of his pressure points and escaped again.

Or so he attempted to before he tripped on air and fell into Natsu.

Tsuna clung to his lion as he turned pleading watery honey eyes on his friends, begging them not to feed him that horrible tasting stuff. The fact that his cheeks were flushed from fever, his eyes watery and a pout graced his lips just made the battle of wills that much harder.

Takeshi and Hayato were on the verge of giving in when Hayato's message tone went off. The silveret flipped his phone open.

It was from Spanner.

_'Forgot to mention, spoil sick Tsuna as much you can and he'll behave.'_

Takeshi, who was reading over Hayato's shoulder, grinned and turned to the brunet who looked to be starting to doze off where he was snuggled against Natsu's side.

"Tsuna, I'll give you lots of hugs and sweets and make you that special tuna sushi that you love!"

Hayato tried too, "Tsuna-sama, I'll give you h-hugs too, and that special crepe you love from the local park! I-I'll even treat you to the new Disney movie that came out!"

Tsuna blinked at them for a few long seconds before before shaking his head and instantly regretting the gesture as his head full of cotton spun. "N-no, don't..." He whispered out in his cracked voice, flushed face flushing brighter as he peered up through his lashes. "...but I won't say no to lots of hugs."

Hayato and Takeshi visibly brightened.

"And maybe the food too."

They sweat dropped and Takeshi laughed as Hayato offered the medicine that had miraculously not spilled yet.

Tsuna took it reluctantly, eyes and face scrunching up adorably. He then latched himself onto his friends and eventually fell asleep.

Nana came home half an hour later to find two boys and one lion curled around her sick son in Tsuna's bed. Only Hayato was awake to be flustered at her cooing between dealing with the next person to call his Tsuna-sama that day.

When Tsuna recovered, he vowed never to fall sick again if it meant dealing with Spanner's _tasteful_ clothes designs and trying to answer his editor's questions about why half his manuscript was written in Japanese and why the main character kept referring biting and herbivores. No, Tsuna had not turned vegetarian, and no, Tsuna certainly did not think lollipops made great clothes decoration and fascinators.

He knew they were just trying to help, but there were some things his friends just ween't made for...

He did frame and hang up the drawings Lambo, I-pin, and yes, even Ryohei, drew for him with a fond smile.

* * *

**HALLOWEEN EXTRA**

Tsuna lowered his camera, nodding thoughtfully at his gathered vic- ahem, models; Takeshi, Hayato, Ryohei, Spanner, Shōichi, Lambo and I-pin. And Hibari.

The prefect scowled; dealing with the fox when he was in designer mode was irritating. Ignoring him when he was in any sort of working mode, however, was not an option; the brunet would have you in his clothes before you even blinked. Despite how impossible that sounded. At least this time Hibari could grudgingly admit the brunet had outdone himself.

Tsuna beamed at them. "All done, we can go trick-or-treating now!"

This was synonymous with 'release the devil hounds' as the citizens of Namimori would soon discover.

The next morning, the news reported sightings of a too-real-to-be-fake werecat that had fur lining his face and wild slit pupiled eyes that was declared a menace for mauling a person, and that citizens of Namimori should be cautious when walking home because his bite was poisonous, confirmed after his victim came back to life with sickly green flesh melting off him and one eye drooping outside its pus leaking socket. A psychotic armed robot that kept yelling EXTREME and running around with bloodstained axes was also declared a public menace that must be detained as soon as possible. Reports claimed he was the one to kill the person, before he was mauled by the werecat, by stabbing him through the head with an axe. Reports also claimed that the two bloodstainted boys in labcoats, one giggling madly with blood soaked hair ('my hair is naturally red!' Exclaimed one Irie Shōichi from where he was eating breakfast.), the other with a dispassionate stare who clearly had a few screws loose, were the ones responsible for the homicidal robot.

And on related news, a pale person with fangs and typical Victorian-style clothes and a dramatic cape had left a trail of unconscious bloodstained victims during the night, any sightings of him should be reported immediately.

Lambo and I-pin, whom had gone as a jack-o-lantern and a bloody princess respectively, laughed at the report while Tsuna mused over his make-up abilities, they weren't _that_ realistic, right? Right?

He was proven wrong when, later in the day, the door to his office at Nami-chuu banged open and Tenouji-san, one of the disciplinary club members, ran in and promptly began bribing Tsuna with a suitcase stuffed with cash for his promise to: 'never turn Hibari-san into an actual monster ever again or we'll all be doomed! Fuck! Look at this fang bite!'

Tsuna was quick to discourage his swearing with a sickeningly _sweet_ smile, which could be felt by anyone despite him wearing a mask, and then explaining patiently that those were not 'fang bites' (Hibari _did_ understand hygiene) but wounds from the newly installed retractable spikes on his tonfa.

Tenouji didn't know what to be more terrified of (which translated to respect in the yakuza); this tiny boy of a principal or that his boss, Hibari, was now even _more_ deadly.

(Meanwhile, over at the Yamamoto's, Yamamoto-san was throwing his son into a bath. As much as he understood his son's enthusiasm with anything concerning Tsuna, and Tsuna's apparently genius make-up and costume abilities, Takeshi was terrifying all of his costumers. It was bad enough he'd almost attacked Takeshi when he came home because he thought the boy was an actual monster.

"Look dad, the kids gave me all their candy when they saw me!"

The older Yamamoto gave his son a strained grin. "That's great Takeshi! Now make sure you wash off all those wounds and the skin and take off that axe on your head."

"Eh? What axe?"

"...")

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takeshi - zombie, Hayato - werecat, Ryohei - robot/mecha, Hibari - vampire, Shōichi and Spanner - mad scientists


	13. Chapter 13

A year passed without too much incidence. Or as little as you can get with anything concerning Tsuna.

For one thing, his friends just loved to fight against each other.

There were so many occurrences of things blowing up that the local construction firm knew to recognise Tsuna's voice by now and offered regular discounts since he had to call them up so much. He did have to wonder if enrolling Lambo and Hayato into their school at the same time was wise when he had to attend to all the property damage. Throwing Takeshi in just made things worse despite the boy's calming nature, Tsuna sighed in exasperation as he called the traders to fix their classroom for the _nth_ time in as many months under his false name. It wouldn't do for Namimori Elementary to find out _he_ was the one paying for damages and not a rich parent like they assumed.

At Namimori Middle, the Disciplinary Committee and the boxing club got into fights more than once to the point that Tsuna swore they were doing it on purpose just because they loved to fight. The other clubs didn't even cause half as much trouble -and _that_ was saying something when the majority of the students were former delinquents. Spanner and Shōichi helped out by setting up lots of cameras across the middle school campus and automatic alerts for when the fights broke out.

They then brought it up a notch by making it so that, wherever anyone was fighting, the ground would drop from under them and they would be sent to a nicely set up underground boxing ring via the many chutes tunnelling under the school.

Tsuna was quick to remind his friends that running an underground gambling ring was _not_ the purpose of this exercise. Not even if it drew in a decent amount of revenue.

Tsuna perfected the art of bribing Lambo, so that the boy would at least _try_ in school -and boy was he startled when Lambo came home from school waving around the test he got full marks for and demanding for his favourite candy and Tsuna-nii to play with him. He also perfected the art of stopping Hayato from blowing up anything that even so much as looked at Tsuna wrong. He learned that with Ryohei, it was best to let the boy do as he liked or get a headache, or worse, bulldozed by the energetic boy, from trying to reason with him. The same applied to Hibari, just with less EXTREME and more ice-cold glares that made standing in the South Pole feel warm -Tsuna would know, he went there with Shōichi and Spanner last time when they wanted some ice samples, whilst he got separated from them and inadvertently gathered an army of penguins and overtook a human run research base.

Tsuna was starting to worry that the less violent but much geekier Shōichi and Spanner were getting out of hand though. Everything from biological hazards to what was best classified as weapons to innocent little toys emerged from their various labs. Tsuna went with it, most of the time, and he did have his fun when they worked together to integrate clothes and gadgets. As long as Shōichi and Spanner enjoyed what they were doing, he would not stop them, however, he _would_ draw a line if he ever felt they were going off the deep end and into the 'mad scientist' category.

"Tsuna-san!" Shōichi yelled, full of glee and excitement as he ran up to Tsuna with an armful of indignant pigeons and fluttering wings. Feathers stuck out of his mussed red hair and his eyes were bloodshot from an obvious lack of sleep. "We did it!" He exclaimed, letting go of his feathered specimens to glomp Tsuna. "We can now translate pigeon! Hahahahaha!"

Tsuna, exhausted from a deadline and long since past the energetic phase of sleep deprivation, just patted his friend on the back and led him to the closest soft material to pass out on. When asked the next morning why they were sleeping on a bed of feathered cooing birds, Tsuna shrugged and pointed to the new device sitting on the counter that was blaring this morning's pigeon gossip.

There was one thing Tsuna was absolutely ecstatic about come late July and that was the announcement of Lory-san being released from hospital. The old man's treatment and chemotherapy had gone very well and Tsuna was more than eager to see the man out of hospital.

 _And_ to finally be rid of his job as the CEO of Takarada co. Do you have any idea how much paperwork it took to run a company that large?!

Lory grinned and suggested he was welcome to keep the position. Tsuna shook his head and said that he would grow to be a very happy boy if he never had to see that much paperwork again.

When Lory-san started talking about vice-presidency, Tsuna quickly evacuated to room via a window with a quick goodbye. He really did not need any more jobs, he was busy enough as it was with his wild assortment of regular jobs, not to mention any irregular ones that came up.

Unfortunately, the next day he was woken up rather abruptly with a literal fanfare, complete with colourful confetti, tooting trumpets and men dressed in red valet costumes. Tsuna got them all out of his home and into the hot pink stretch Hummer waiting outside in record time before his mother and the kids could get out of bed and ask what all the noise was about.

Lory waited inside, showing barely any hint of his debilitating sickness as he offered his wide, somewhat childish grin and without any preamble, announced,

"Tsuna, I've named you my heir."

Frankly, Tsuna had seen this coming, he knew Lory-san had no children to speak of and he'd long resigned himself to the fact that he would forever be dumped into strange situations, or go mad trying. But still, he would like to know, "...why?"

Lory didn't stop his smile, but an aura of authority surrounded the man in an instant as he sat up in the rather spacious limousine and offered Tsuna a glass of orange juice which he took with thanks. "Truthfully, before you came along, I went through several potential prospects for the position but they... Ah, lacked. Yes, some of them ran the company very well, but there was just something missing..."

Tsuna took a stab in the dark. "They were boring?" Well, Lory-san was that kind of person, he detested boredom, Tsuna knew very well that if you left the old man alone and to his own devices he would find ways to entertain himself; like that time he went to the hospital and found the man had decided to colonise his room with snow monkeys.

"Yes!" Lory-san exclaimed in agreement. "Well, that and I like that you look so harmless that it makes the prideful ones underestimate you, keeps them on their toes. And that you're not afraid to take risks. Ohh, and you know how to speak so many languages. And you still know to have fun. And-"

And that was how Tsuna found himself the heir of a large international company. Well, Lory took over the usual CEO duties but he invited Tsuna over often enough to chat, and get more experience. Really, it wasn't like Tsuna could refuse when the man insisted that his help would be more than appreciated. He also gave Tsuna ownership of the shopping centre in Namimori since the brunet already owned the top and the basement levels as well as a few other properties scattered around the world.

Tsuna did actually end up going on a few outings with Colonnello and Lal. Each one ended as a disaster, of course. Especially that outing in Paris. The Eiffel Tower was only standing to this day because Tsuna managed to intervene. He was, unfortunately, no match for his 'parents' in terms of strength and prowess, the babies could make dents in the metal scaffold with their bare fists for god's sake! So he had to resort to his last option: crying.

As soon as Lal and Colonnello heard the boy wail, they stopped and turned to him and were shot face first by the adorable image of flushed cheeks, pouting lips and very very upset teary doe eyes. Tsuna was quick to tase them both while he still had the opportunity, and skedaddle before the authorities came. He was later reprimanded and 'trained' until his limbs felt like falling off.

Surprisingly, Colonnello wasn't the only one to go out of his way to forcefully drag Tsuna to outings, Lal did so too, on occasion. In fact, Tsuna enjoyed his time with the blue haired baby when Lal took him to visit what was apparently her old job as an commander at an Italian special forces training facility. COMSUBIN training wasn't that different from Russian military training Tsuna was thinking, as Lal, her commander instincts blazing, smacked some of the slacking recruits.

If she was surprised when _Tsuna_ jumped on a man, knocking him into the dirt, and started scolding him for not holding his knife properly, she didn't show it and smirked instead. By the end of the day, both Lal and Tsuna had pretty much taken over supervising training and had gained a fearful reputation among the recruits. Yes, they could only bow respectfully as the cute little boy strode out with a cheerful wave as if he hadn't just dissolved all the prideful bullies among them into sobbing messes. And they could only shudder as the devilish blue haired baby on his shoulder showed them a grin full of teeth. The recruits thanked the heavens that the two were only _visiting_.

Fuuta arrived that year too. The boy, about two years older than Lambo and I-pin, carried a thick enormous book the size of his person. Tsuna met him when he and Natsu somehow got recruited into a travelling circus. The brunet and his lion peered at the curled up ball of a boy backstage. Fuuta peeked out at them and, as soon as he heard Tsuna's name (and not the alias Tsuna was using in the circus, which was, incidentally, Cielo) the boy latched onto the brunet.

"You're ranked as the number one person who can't refuse a request," The dirty blond boy stated with a cute little gap-toothed smile. "Can I stay with you?"

Tsuna just blinked and nodded slowly. "Sure... If you don't mind sleeping on hay and in a rickety little coach."

It was half a dozen performances later and halfway up the north coast of Japan when Shōichi tracked him down, demanding to know where Tsuna disappeared off to _this time_ and why he forgot his phone. The red head was threatening to plant a tracking device inside Tsuna when the brunet interrupted his ranting to ask if he could be picked up.

He forgot that it wasn't a good idea to get Shōichi worked up.

And the next moment he knew, _Hibari_ arrived on his nice new shiny motorbike, (that Tsuna had gifted on his birthday, with the hopes that the boy would stop biting them to death for driving a car underage if the skylark was driving _his_ vehicle underage. Needless to say, that did not work.) threw Tsuna and Natsu over the back before throwing Fuuta too when he noticed the boy attached to his fox.

It only took a few sweeps of his tonfa to...convince the circus to let Tsuna go, and they went on their merry little journey back home.

"Stop getting herbivores attached to you, Fox." Hibari growled.

Tsuna just whimpered and nursed the new bump on his head. He wanted to know why they got attached to him too. Natsu licked his cheek in sympathy.

"Tsuna-nii was awesome on the trapeze!" Fuuta chimed in.

"The Fox is better at taking care of Namimori." Hibari stated with a nonchalant glare at the child.

Fuuta nodded eagerly. "Tsuna-nii is awesome."

"Hn."

Tsuna just blushed at the grudgingly accepting tone in Hibari's voice and shifted from where he was buried under Natsu and Fuuta. The enormous book was an added bonus.

Fuuta ended up staying over at his house and getting along with generally everyone, Tsuna was thankful to see. Any more volatile people in his group and he would go bald before the year was up. At least he _thought_ his new little brother was normal, until the first time someone asked him a question and things started floating due to some strange cosmic energy thingamajig. Tsuna was just glad that the boy's ability didn't pertain to things being destroyed, or fighting. Fuuta also readily took over Tsuna's paper delivering job when Tsuna himself wasn't able to do it.

And soon graduation would come, which Tsuna was dreading. Because it meant Ryohei and Hibari would finally make it to middle school.

The middle school he spent a year stumbling about, fixing up, and learning how to run properly.

Well, he was as prepared as he would ever be with the heightened security now, and hopefully the reinforced walls could withstand the forces of Hibari and Ryohei combined.

* * *

Tsuna couldn't deny his friends when they really really wanted something -he still wasn't sure if getting Takeshi that really expensive super rare baseball bat that transformed into a sword was such a good idea after the boy accidentally sliced the ball instead of hitting a home-run for, say, the dozenth time (he was banned from bringing his special bat to practice now)- so when Hayato came running up to him one day, holding out a newspaper printout and a dozen thick ancient books and scrolls with shining eyes and wide eager grin, Tsuna just could not bring himself to say no.

**'Mysterious occurrences at Namimori shrine! All exorcists and those experienced with the unknown are welcome!'**

Which meant, one week later, Tsuna, Hayato and Takeshi were riding on the lion guardian spirit of Namimori Shrine, the _Shishi_ , a large almost smokey appearing lion that loped around the assortment of cursed spirits with ease as the boys tried to exorcise them.

Takeshi's baseball bat/sword was wrapped in paper seals which made the spirits disintegrate when he swung at them, while Hayato and Tsuna were throwing assortments of paper seals.

"There's no end to them!" Hayato yelled as he dispatched another dozen spirits with the seal that he'd modified, after much pursuing through the books they'd bought along, to explode on contact. Another dozen surged forward to replace the ones he'd just exorcised.

Tsuna was throwing the seals he'd folded into _shuriken_ -he may as well put all that ninja training to use- as he grimaced, honey brown eyes narrowed on the blurred apparition in the centre of the shrine that was filling his ears with maniacal laughter -and no that wasn't Takeshi beside him, chuckling at the funny appearance of the next spirit that attempted to take a chunk out of him before it was sliced in half.

But then he heard the door slide open and Tsuna knew he had to act fast before the unsuspecting visitor was mauled by beings they couldn't possibly see.

"Takeshi, can I borrow your bat?"

"Haha, sure!"

The weapon was handed over, returning to its sport equipment form as Tsuna leapt off their ride, bat raised high above his head.

Shōichi and Spanner, who had just arrived, had to rub their eyes as the bat made contact with- well, nothing that they could see, and an invisible force rippled like a boulder dropped into a pond, blowing them back.

When they regained their footing, it was to the sight of Hayato and Takeshi _floating_ six feet in the air and arguing with each other between congratulating Tsuna for his 'epic blow'. The brunet stood barefoot in the centre of the room, dressed in a red yukata, baseball bat at his side as pieces of paper inked with strange symbols floated to the ground around him.

"Do I want to know?" Shōichi asked himself as he rubbed his head to ease the growing migraine and tried to ignore the bodies of people, some dressed in strange robes, others holding even stranger contraptions, laying around. He knew he should have checked up on Tsuna earlier instead of taking Hayato's texts in stride.

"How come you're wearing those?" Spanner asked as the three approached them, nodding to the white cloths tied around Takeshi and Hayato's foreheads with a symbol that looked like an eye painted in the centre, surrounded by a dozen other runes, the cloth hung downward to almost cover the boys' eyes.

"It's special spell to help us see spirits. Tch, I had to take references from several books to get it right," replied a disgruntled Hayato.

Shōichi was anything but an idiot. "And Tsuna-san isn't wearing one because...?"

Tsuna instantly looked guilty, toeing at the rough hewn tatami.

Takeshi rubbed the back of his head, grinning like the loon he is. "Tsuna ate spirit food."

At the looks he got -even from Hayato!- Tsuna burst out defensively, "they had _dango_! And traditional mochi coated in sweet peanut sauce! And _taiyaki_! You know I can't say no to good _taiyaki_!" The _Shishi_ rumbled next to the brunet and he gave it a pat.

"Sweets are going to be the death of you," Spanner deadpanned as Shōichi buried his face into his hands in resigned tears.

The red head looked up for a moment to ask, "and how about all these other people?"

Hayato gave the adults strewn around a disdainful look. None of them had taken them seriously even though he and Tsuna-sama had spent almost an entire week reading up on all material concerning local legends, spirits and multiple types of exorcism methods and spells. To top it off, when it came to the big boss, all of them had been useless and got themselves in the way when Tsuna reappeared with the _Shishi_ , whom Hayato was proud to say loved Tsuna-sama (because the brunet delivered papers every other day and the lion spirit loved eating them), and both he and the baseball-idiot ended up having to save their asses when they'd been knocked unconscious by the initial wave of malicious intent.

Hell, the prefect could emit more killing intent. "Useless bastards, they wouldn't even last against Hibari."

"Not everyone is Hibari-resistant, Hayato," Tsuna reprimanded gently.

"Haha, like that time you put him in a skirt, Tsuna?"

Tsuna blinked, and smiled cutely.

Shōichi tried not to think about _that_ particular disaster as Spanner somehow managed to look both bland and upset at the same time, "I can't believe you guys went exorcising without me; I've always wanted to meet a kappa!"

"Don't encourage them!"

* * *

A few days after this incident just happened to be when Coyote Nougat, Storm Guardian to the Ninth boss of Vongola, the most powerful and influential mafia familgia in the world, which also happened to be the famiglia a certain brunet's father worked for, decided to stop by for a quick check up on the younger man's family.

Iemitsu was a jovial man who was good at his job and wailed for his family every other day. He was also very careful, for despite making a spectacle of himself, the man never revealed a name or location with anything with regards to his family. The Ninth and Coyote were some of the very few whom knew anything about Sawada Nana and Sawada Tsunayoshi, and Coyote only because he had been the one to accompany his boss and his external advisor when they visited about six years ago.

Coyote stood behind a tree, weathered face observant as he watched the little boy Iemitsu had as a son enter what was obviously his school with two other boys, chattering happily with them. He walked with a much more confidant gait and looked a lot happier than the shy little thing hiding behind his mother's skirts years ago.

Then old man smiled, rubbing habitually at his metal arm as he turned away to catch his flight home.

He didn't notice his ring glowing.

* * *

G, right hand man and best friend to the infamous first boss of Vongola, had only appeared to check on the little boy Giotto kept gushing about since the blond had clapped eyes on the boy that _one_ time they saw him.

He and his fellow guardians were actually sick to beyond-death of seeing the blond go into blushing squealing fits -if only the Vongola could see what their first boss was like now, they'd have a heart attack. But none of them exactly had the heart to stop him; overly excited fits were better than the moping mess Giotto became every time the blond thought about Vongola's horrible reputation. The Ninth was, admittedly, making the family better, and that was perhaps the only reason that Giotto had decided to actually appear this generation rather than continue his vigil inside the Vongola ring.

So here G was, floating in his semi-transparent ghostly state next to the boy, now ten or eleven years old.

He just hadn't counted on the boy actually being able to _see_ him.

Nor the unnerving look he was getting from those wide honey brown eyes. It reminded him too much of the look Giotto got when he wanted G for something, like that time Giotto thought it would be a great idea for the both of them to prank Alaude.

"Sensei, can I go to the bathroom?"

And the next moment G knew, the boy had grabbed his hand and was dragging him out of the room. (How was that even physically possible?! He was a ghost for fuck's sake!)

The moment they were in the hall, those eager eyes were on G again, pretty much sparkling at him.

"Mister, can I dress you up? And where'd you get your tattoo? Are you Hayato's Papa? If you are, can you help us? We've got an exorcism request for a poltergeist after school."

"...hah?" Was G's intelligent reply.

* * *

"GIOTTO!"

Cue the blond materialising from his ring as Coyote and Timoteo were having a private meeting.

_"...dropped by Namimori."_

The blond blinked at his best friend, head tilting to the side as he wondered, "G, why are you dressed like an Egyptian Pharaoh?"

_"Oh? How is Tsunayoshi?"_

The red head grabbed the blond ghost's shoulders, kohl lined eyes wild. "YOUR DESCENDENT IS FUCKING INSANE!"

_"He looks fine. Just a healthy normal little boy attending grade school."_

Giotto completely skipped the part about G insulting his descendent and went straight to: "You saw Tsuna?! How is he? I bet he's just as adorable, if not more so, than he was five years three months and six days ago!"

_"That is good to know. Frederico is still missing..."_

G didn't even bother to start on the blond's apparent obsession with his descendant. "He's absolutely fantastic!" The irate man retorted sarcastically. "Do you have any idea how crazy he is?! He can _see_ me, hell he can see all spirits! He dragged me along with this other brat he thought was my _son_ to exorcise a haunted house of all things! _And_ he's the one designing those suits the best of Vongola pay a fortune to wear! He even asked me about my tattoo! Like fuck I'm gonna let a little kid get a tattoo!"

_"...I apologise, Ninth."_

"G! Don't you dare be a bad influence on my little Tsuna!" Giotto scolded. "And I wanted to know if he's still cute!"

_"Do not apologise, hearing that Iemitsu's son is doing well eases my mind."_

"Didn't you hear what I just said?!" The man ran a hand through his red/pink locks and huffed, grumbling reluctantly as he thought back to the sparkle smiles and flowers and overall fluffiness Giotto's descendant emitted like a hyper bunny. "Yes, he's still cute." If cute included manipulative and destructive among its meanings. That house they purified was never going to stand again.

Giotto grinned, yelling to the skies about his adorable descendant before those shrewd blue eyes landed on something poking out of G's pocket.

Red eyes widened and G slapped a hand on his pocket. "No-!"

Too late. The blond snatched it and was peering at it.

G paled, knowing what was to come.

Both Timoteo and Coyote looked up when the door to the office banged open mysteriously. Unknown to the old men, two ghosts breezed out of the room, one chasing the other.

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO JEALOUS!" G yelled, ducking under- was that Giotto's _shoe_?

"BUT _I_ WANTED A PHOTO WITH TSUNA!" Giotto yelled waving his other shoe threateningly as he chased after the red-head.

Red eyes landed on a pale blond leaning against a wall. Normally he wouldn't... but he had leeway this time. "Alaude! If you stop Giotto I'll give you a signed copy of that new detective novel series you've been into!"

The blond quirked a brow at the half naked man donning an Egyptian headdress currently running toward him. Then his cold gaze landed on the book the man was waving around, expert eyes confirming that, yes, the book was indeed signed by Seil; the aspiring German author Alaude had taken a liking to since his first novel.

Well, the blond would never say no to a fight.

As Giotto screeched to a stop, and started running in the opposite direction whilst yelling about how cruel G was to set Alaude on him, the red-head swiped the photo that fluttered out of the blond's grip.

G glanced at it, grimacing as a reluctant smile threatened to spill on his lips. He shoved it back into his pocket.

It was of Tsuna with his arms wrapped around the ghost's neck in a hug, smiling brightly whilst G was caught in a rare moment of not-scowling.

Thank god Giotto didn't get his hands on the _other_ photo that featured him with that silver haired brat asleep together. G would never live (or die, he supposed) down the embarrassment.

* * *

Kurokawa Hana was walking along the middle school halls in search of Nami-chuu's principal. The girl's sharp observant eyes took in the new facilities that she would soon be using herself in another year. She had heard that the principal had been replaced last year and that the current one had gone to great lengths to turn the school around and clean up its horrible reputation. Hana's parents would have sent her to a private girl's school come time for her to graduate had that not happened.

She'd also heard rumours of Hibari being the Disciplinary Committee head. She snorted. Unless she saw that for herself she would doubt that rumour. The boy had just graduated this year (much to the relief of the entire elementary school cohort and teachers), he could not have run what was essentially a middle school club when he was still in grade school. Then again, she also heard similar for Kyoko's big brother.

Hana stopped at the door that marked the principal's office.

She did not know who he was. Or even if he was a _he_. It could be a woman for all she knew. The staff at the front office had not offered any description, but they had all spoken of him respectfully. Though the name 'Kitsune-san' seemed suspicious, to say the least.

Hana took a deep breath to steady herself, and opened the door. She blinked when all she found was an empty leather chair set behind an oak table. Two chairs were before that. A bookshelf filled one side and in the centre of the room were two sofas and a coffee table. The window to another side was open, the curtains fluttering with the breeze.

Well.

Hana frowned and turned to leave.

"Can I help you?" A light, child-like voice asked.

The girl turned back.

A boy sat on the previously unoccupied window sill. A fox mask covered his face and a newsboy cap sat on his head.

"... I'm looking for the principal."

The boy's head tilted and he stood up, stretching his arms. "That's me." His tone was cheerful.

Hana frowned. "You're just a kid."

"Funny, how so many people come the conclusion that just because I'm a child, I can't run a school. You can ask any of the staff if you like, they'll all say it's me."

Before Hana was going to do just that. The door opened again and a man entered, carrying a stack of papers.

"Kitsune-san, here's the profiles of all the new students entering next term- Ah, sorry for disturbing you."

Hana watched in disbelief as the boy waved off his apology, telling him to set the papers on the table and thanking him for his hard work. The man, a full grown adult no less, smiled and blushed at the praise from the boy as if he weren't supposed to be below him in both age and experience but like he was someone he admired and respected.

When he left, Hana found herself sitting on a sofa at the boy's gesture as he settled opposite her. He offered her a wrench shaped candy which she declined.

"So, what can I do for you, Hana-chan?"

The dark haired girl resisted the urge to rub her temples as she was addressed the same way someone her age would have done. Adults usually used her last name. Since the boy had so far proven himself to be the principal and there was no one else, she supposed she had to settle for him.

"I have a very distant cousin from France who is staying in Namimori for an indefinite amount of time. My family were hoping to enrol him into this school, starting next term, as a first year."

"That should be no problem," the boy said as he stood up and went to the filing cabinet behind his desk. He came back with a few forms. "Just fill these out and submit them to the front office. They'll be staying open, week days 9-5, during this break. If he doesn't have enough credentials, he may need to sit a small test, just to see where he is."

The girl took the papers, gave them a once over before nodding and made to leave.

"Ah, just one thing Kurokawa-san."

The girl paused at the door and turned back with a brow raised.

"May I have his name?"

"It's Fran."

* * *

**OMAKE**

Tsuna didn't mess around when it came to getting the right people into his clothes designs.

Or so Hibari discovered when the window to his office was shoved open and the brunet appeared. "HIBARI-SAN!" Tsuna yelled, his expression gravely serious. "I need you to put these on now!"

The prefect didn't even have time to utter 'I'll bite' before he somehow found himself in a navy blue sailor uniform, complete with a long dark wig, knee high socks and Mary Janes.

The camera snapped a dozen or so quick shots before Tsuna threw the boy a thumbs up, yelled, "Perfect!" and left through the window again.

This was all completed in less than a minute.

Hibari stood there in shock for exactly 3 more seconds before he tore the clothes off and grabbed his tonfa.

"FOX!"

Ah, Tsuna was going to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shishi - Have you ever seen those stone lions outside temples or Chinese lion dances? It's that. Dango - gelatinous rice ball sweet. Mochi - similar to dango. Taiyaki - fish-shaped cake filled with red bean paste.
> 
> Tsuna's pen-name is 'Seil' meaning rope in German. (If it isn't obvious, I'm not very original.)


	14. Chapter 14

"This is bad," Spanner commented, looking not at all like anything was wrong.

Shōichi grabbed the blond and wrung his neck in a panic. "Bad?! Only bad?! This is terrible! Horrendous! A catastrophe! What are we going to do?!"

"Maow."

The red head paused in the process of murdering his friend to look down at the hand tugging at his pants. Soft pointed ears twitched out of a mop of brown hair, two long tails with a calico pattern flicked to and fro as large honey brown eyes with slit pupils peered up at them.

Tsuna was now a _nekomata_ , courtesy of an experiment gone wrong.

Spanner, after regaining his air again, crouched in front of Tsuna and held out a hand for the boy. Tsuna sniffed the hand cautiously before opening his mouth and closing it across a finger.

Shōichi watched nervously. "Is he... Trying to eat you?" _Nekomata_ were technically _yokai_ , or demon cats that were known for devouring men. Though he didn't think Tsuna was actually a spirit, it _was_ scientifically impossible... Whose genius idea was it that they should experiment with the pot Tsuna had bought back with him?!

...Right, it was theirs.

Tsuna had disappeared again about a week ago, and ever since he had discovered how to disable the tracking device on his phone, Shōichi and Spanner were having a harder time keeping track of him. Shōichi swore that one of these days he _would_ go through with his threats and place a microchip inside his friend, if only for his and the others peace of mind because who knew _what_ the brunet would get into on his own.

After all, one prime example was staring him in the face, the tips of his tails thumping lightly against the concrete floor of their lab.

Tsun had come back after that morning's delivery with the pot, claiming that the _Shishi_ in the shrine had nudged it toward him and he had no idea what it was because it wouldn't open. The pot itself looked rather plain, about two handspans wide with an earthenware colour and silver painted animals dancing along the base. Shōichi and Spanner looked it over, tried prying it open before they opted for breaking it with the conventional hammer method. It didn't work. They tried running it over with one of their tanks and had just finished autoclaving the pot when Tsuna stumbled into the lab after school and attending to his duties at Nami-chuu. Tsuna picked up the pot before the two inventors could warn him of how hot it was.

As expected, he dropped it.

What they hadn't expected was the pot shattering into a million pieces and Tsuna being engulfed in a dark indigo smoke.

Which lead to this current situation.

"No," Spanner replied, removing his hand. "He was just holding my finger with his jaw." The blond rubbed a hand through Tsuna's hair, and the brunet purred, eyes closing in contentment as he pushed his head closer to the hand.

"Any idea how to reverse this?"

"N-"

The heavy blast doors to the lab burst open.

"MAMMA SAYS ITS DINNER TIME TO THE EXTREME!"

Tsuna's tails bristled, his eyes wide and startled at the loud noise.

He disappeared.

Literally.

Shōichi fainted. Spanner blinked.

"Uh oh."

* * *

It took them ages to find Tsuna again. Especially since Tsuna didn't take his phone when he disappeared.

They checked his house, Nana's prepared dinner steaming on the table, only to find, I-pin, Lambo and Fuuta who joined them on their search. They tried Brown-san's place, the hospital, both Namimori middle and their school and the shrine again to find no trace of Tsuna. It was only until Takeshi got a call from his dad that they face-palmed over not checking the closest place that did fresh fish.

They arrived all at once to find, not only Tsuna and Yamamoto-san, but their Ninja-training senseis. Tsuna was nuzzling the blond baby who appeared confused while Yamamoto-san wore a terrifying grin that was just asking ' _and what have you boys been up to?'_.

Fon leapt up to the table in front of Tsuna. He peered at the brunet who stopped nuzzling Colonnello to blink back. They stared at each other for a long moment, and the others held their breath. Fon lifted one hand and Tsuna leaned forward.

Loud purrs filled the room as Fon petted the boy, Tsuna's tails twitching eagerly.

At some silent signal, Colonnello leapt up and knocked the brunet out in one swift movement.

Yamamoto-san then turned to the other children with a stern look on his face and arms on his hips. "Now, why don't you boys start explaining?"

* * *

"It doesn't sound like anything we've heard of," Fon said, glancing at the brunet whom they'd moved upstairs to young Takeshi's room. Lambo was tugging at one chubby cheek while I-pin was playing with Tsuna's fluffy hair.

"I EXTREMELY don't get it!"

"Shh! Sasagawa-san!" Shōichi shushed, glancing warily at Tsuna who remained prone. None of them wanted Tsuna to disappear on them again.

Hayato was examining Tsuna with reverent eyes, a small notebook titled 'UMA IDENTIFICATION' in his hands.

"Maybe it's a curse?" Colonnello suggested. Then he ran a hand through his blond hair, adjusting his bandanna as he did so, and muttered, "Jeez what'm I gonna tell Lal?"

Shōichi and Spanner glanced at each other. "That wouldn't be our area of expertise..." Spanner replied.

Colonnello and Fon exchanged a look. "It's not ours either but we may know someone who could help," Fon said with a calm smile.

"Really, Fon-sensei?" Takeshi asked eagerly. "Can you get them to come?"

Colonnello folded his arms and looked over the boys sternly. "We'll ask. Just try not to startle him before that person comes, kora."

That was easier said than done.

* * *

Tsuna got into play fights with both Uri and Natsu, fell in love with watching the dryer at work, developed an addiction to fish and could not seem to stay put when they wanted him to. He must have disappeared on them half a dozen times. They were very lucky that he stayed within Namimori.

One time, when they found him again, it was with _Hibari_ of all people, napping in the older boy's lap with his tails curled around his body. The subsequent fight that Hayato got into with the prefect was loud and explosive and Tsuna tripped the prefect up with his tails to stop the fight before disappearing again. The next time he was bought back by Fon, or it was more like he bought Fon with him since Tsuna was holding the martial artist in his arms. Tsuna set the baby down next to I-pin before vanishing again.

The last time Tsuna disappeared, they couldn't find him.

And the boys had spent a great deal of the day running about, scouring the city while Shōichi and Spanner stayed at the base and used their abilities to hack into every camera and surveillance in the city.

"Tsuna-sama!" Hayato wailed into the chicken pen before closing the gate to fluttering feathers and indignant 'bawk bawk's' at no sign on the brunet.

Takeshi was checking the post box in a similar manner.

"LIL BRO! ...LIL BRO ...LIL bro ...lil bro..." Ryohei's voice echoed into the manhole he'd opened. At no answer, he replaced the rather heavy lid with little effort.

They were now in the market area of Namimori, in front of the shopping centre. This was the fifth round of perusing through the town.

"Maow."

"Ushishishi~!"

Hayato whipped around at the very cat-like sound made by his beloved Tsuna-sama's voice and the very annoying laugh (if it was a laugh) that followed that. Colonnello, who sat on his shoulder, frowned when they saw who was sitting on top of the stable that held Lambo's bull.

A blond mushroom haired boy sat, with his legs swinging, at the edge of the roof. Tsuna sat in his lap. He had one arm swung around Tsuna's waist, his other hand stroking Tsuna's hair. A baby with a chained indigo pacifier sat on his head.

"The prince has your cat, peasant!"

Tsuna purred as small fingers ran through his ears and the blond boy gave a very sharp grin in triumph.

"Colonnello. You called me." The hooded baby stated as it floated toward them.

"Viper-"

"I go by Mammon now."

The blond rolled his eyes but used the name regardless. "Mammon, could you cure that boy over there?"

"I'll charge the usual fee."

The blond nodded. When it came to their fees, the Arcobaleno could either pay money (which was the preferred option) or owe the mist Arcobaleno a favour. They were probably the only exception, Viper demanded money from anyone else.

The baby floated back to the blond child who hugged Tsuna closer and stuck out his tongue. "Kitty now belong's to the prince!" Tsuna flailed in response and pawed at the arms holding him tight with his hands.

"Why you-!" Hayato started yelling before a sharp tug to his hair from Colonnello silenced him with a yelp.

"I don't care who he belongs to, Bel. I'm just being paid to cure him."

The baby floated right in front of the brunet who peered at it with large honey glazed slit-pupiled eyes. He cocked his head and meowed again.

Mammon touched two fingers to Tsuna's forehead and a mist-like indigo glow enveloped them. Tsuna hissed and lashed out with the claws that suddenly appeared on his hand.

Mammon, realising what he was going to do, grabbed his wrist. "Oh no you don't-"

They disappeared.

* * *

When Tsuna regained his senses it was to a cloaked baby, looking through some of the sheets of paper lying around his room, and Hayato, sporting a dozen scratch marks on his person.

"Tsuna-sama, are you okay?"

"Ah... Yeah." he said, still dazed as all his memories came flooding back to him. "I'm so sorry!" He apologised bowing his head. He was fully aware of what he'd been doing though he had no control of his actions in the past day and he was feeling rather guilty for causing his friends so much trouble and injuring Hayato with his claws.

Hayato held out his hands, flailing as he didn't know what to do. "D-don't apologise Tsuna-sama, it's not your fault!"

"You lost yourself to the instincts," the baby said in a monotone voice.

"I-I thought you cured him, Mammon-san. So why is he still like this?!" Hayato exclaimed, turning very red.

Tsuna blinked as he realised he had started licking the scratch he left on the silver head's cheek. He blushed and backed away, putting his hands to his mouth as his tails wrapped around his body self-consciously.

Wait, tails?

It was then that he finally realised that he not only had his tails but his ears too. "Why?!"

Mammon turned to them. "I cured him. He can think for himself just fine now. The extra appendages and abilities are supposed to be there."

Tsuna wrung one of his tails. "How are these supposed to be here?!"

The baby shrugged. "If you don't want them just imagine them gone."

"It doesn't just work like-!" the tail in his hands disappeared. "Huh?"

Fon and Colonnello walked in at that moment and the blond grinned when he saw Tsuna without any extra appendages. "Great, you're cured, kora! Pity though, you should have seen yourself when you leaped off that building and landed on you feet. Oh and the awesome retractable claws, kora!"

Mammon floated up and settled on Tsuna's head. "Those aren't gone," The Arcobaleno stated. "Tsuna probably got in some spirit's good side. Somehow he got a gift to allow him to use a spirit animal -in this case, a cat- qualities. Losing himself to the initial onset of instincts was probably a side effect. That won't happen again but he should be able to freely use the new abilities as he likes."

Mammon held out a hand expectantly. Fon leapt up to Tsuna's shoulder to hand over the information fee.

Tsuna was just trying his best not to wonder what the hell he'd gotten himself into this time. He should have known better than to take anything the spirits offered him. It was, after all, the reason he could see them in the first place.

"I don't want this," Tsuna groaned.

And was promptly bowled over by a boy his age. "Ushishishi~ The prince's kitty shall come with the prince!"

"I'm not a kitty!" Tsuna was feeling rather put out with all this.

Colonnello cocked his gun. "Hey, Tsuna's mine!"

While, at the same time, Hayato bared his dynamite. "How dare you talk to Tsuna-sama that way!"

"He's Colonnello's?" Mommon muttered.

Fon quickly explained to the mist that Tsuna was their colleagues' adopted son.

"Mu, so they finally got together."

"Ka-ching!" Bel's grin could crack his face as he flung several very thin sharp knives at the bomber and blond baby.

"NO!" Tsuna exclaimed as a fight started in his room. Again. He watched in horror as explosives went off right and left, bullet holes broke through his plaster and the sharp knives was the added salt to his wound. It's didn't help that Bel had hold of him right now.

Then he saw a knife go through one of the more complicated sketches he'd spent all night working on, and he screeched.

The ears and tails popped out. And Tsuna disappeared again.

Fon, who had been standing on Tsuna's shoulder, jumped to the ground as Bel stumbled from the sudden lack of 'kitty' in his arms. Colonnelo's bullet drew a line of blood at his temple, and a terrifying grin stretched across the boy's face.

* * *

Tsuna ended up in his office in Nami-chuu. With Mammon still on his head.

"... Will I keep doing that?"

The baby shrugged. "Probably."

"And why are you still with me?"

Mammon floated onto his table. "I'm a mist user, it doesn't take much for me to connect with your untrained mind."

Tsuna had no idea what the baby was talking about. Then he blinked when Mammon suddenly floated right into his face with one of the many sheets of paper from his room in hand.

The brunet back away nervously, and to focus on what the baby was holding up.

"That's... My bank statement."

He swore the baby was going to bite his head off as Mammon asked darkly, on chubby finger pointed at one of the many minus signs on the paper. "What is this?"

"Uh..."

The baby actually growled. Threateningly.

"How could you lose so much money?! Over a million dollars?" Mammon jabbed the paper with each word.

"It wasn't my fault!" Tsuna tried to argue. "At least not entirely..." Half the school had been damaged in one of the more violent fights between Hibari, Hayato and Lambo in which he, Ryohei and Takeshi had also joined inadvertently. Considerable damage had been done before they were all sent to that underground boxing ring. So they all had to pay up.

The baby's face darkened under its hood. "You don't deserve to have so much money if you're going to waste it! In fact you shouldn't rely on bank interests alone to increase profits! You should..." And so the baby went on.

Tsuna, who did have an abnormally decent financial background despite being only a child, was still overwhelmed by the sudden influx of information that, had he been able to see Mammon's eyes, he was sure he would see money signs in their place.

By the time Mammon was done, he was sitting on the ground drinking his fifth cup of tea with his tails curled around him.

"... And I expect payment for all this information." Mammon finished abruptly.

Tsuna's mouth fell open. He hadn't even asked to be lectured!

"But since it seems you can't take care of your money appropriately, I'll do this instead." A form suddenly appeared in the illusionist's hand titled 'adoption'.

Tsuna's eyes widened. "Why?!" He exclaimed. He did not need more parents, baby or otherwise, just being between Lal and Colonnello was traumatising.

"These days all you need is a legal form to signify a bond even if you're not blood related. If I become your elder sibling, in this case, then I would be entitled to your savings if anything unfortunate were to happen to you," Mammon explained monotonously.

Tsuna was suddenly terrified for his life. "I-I can make a will!"

"My work conditions are, that I be paid regardless of will."

Tsuna pouted, his cat ears drooping. "Then I just won't sign it."

Mammon shrugged. "It's a good deal for you."

"How? You want to kill me for my money!"

"No, it states here..." A large magnifying glass appeared from nowhere (Tsuna really wanted to know how that happened) and was held over the very fine print at the bottom of the page. "'The persons agreeing to this bond are not allowed to purposefully, or plan to, cause harm to each other.'"

Tsuna just gave the baby a bland look, as if asking why the baby wanted to adopt him as a sibling.

"This will be good. I can teach you how to increase your money exponentially in exchange for a percentage of your profits."

"I don't need it." Tsuna stated firmly.

"Doesn't matter, you've already signed." The brunet stared in horror at his signature that just appeared, Mammon's beside it.

"I did not!"

"Well according to this legal document, you just did."

Tsuna resisted the urge to sob and instead, focused on wondering why he was always being bullied into being adopted by babies. He wasn't sure what was more freaky; that _he_ wasn't the one adopting the babies, or that none of these babies were _normal_ in the first place.

* * *

When Tsuna reappeared in his house with Mammon in his arms. He noticed he needed to fix his and Spanner's room _again_. (Last time being when Lambo and Ryohei got into a squabble over extremeness and candy.)

Hayato was sitting in the kitchen, more scratches on his person. Bel was tied to a chair, laughing maniacally as if the blood dripping from his head was the most amusing thing he'd ever seen while Nana attempted to clean him up. Colonnello and Fon were calmly drinking tea together.

"Tsu-kun, your friends are so energetic!" Nana chirped cheerfully as she plastered up a another wound on Bel's arm. "And Colonnello-kun said that he's teaching you how to be a man! He's such a good father." She giggled.

Tsuna wasn't sure when exactly but his apparent adoption by Colonnello and Lal had been explained to his mother and she'd been more than willing to share him. He couldn't be sure if she thought they were babies playing make-believe or actually believed them but Tsuna had accepted his mother's airheaded-ness long ago.

Which probably meant that the idea of Mammon becoming his older sibling (he _still_ had no idea if the baby was a boy or a girl) would go over swimmingly with his mother.

He was right, of course. Though Colonnello took a rather territorial approach to the whole thing, or so Tsuna thought when the blond stuck to him like glue. It was a bit hard to tell when the blond kept shooting at him and telling him that his covert ninja skills or whatever they were training at the time, sucked.

Between that and his jobs, Mammon taught him how to increase his revenue through some weird illusionary technique. Tsuna really had no idea how the baby made him hallucinate, but it was a terrifying ability.

"Information is a great source of income." The baby explained during one of their lessons. "People will pay you for it. Others will pay you to keep quiet and it can keep you up to date about anything happening around you. Of course... It's also a great source of blackmail."

Tsuna just. Well, he had no idea how to react.

"You're part cat now, right? You should be able to communicate with felines. They can be a very good information network. I'll help you and add this to your tab." The baby held up an orange cat. "Now, ask this one."

Tsuna took the cat and blinked at the fluffy thing. The cat mewled and licked his chin.

A newspaper fan appeared out of nowhere and hit him on the head. "Change into your other form first!"

Tsuna did as he was told and discovered that he could indeed understand the cat. He also discovered that Bel and Hayato were fighting inside his shopping centre and decided that perhaps the baby was not wrong about information being important as he teleported over to stop them. It could certainly help him keep track of his friends.

When Mammon left, along with Fon and Colonnello near the end of the break. Tsuna was almost pulled apart in the tug of war Hibari and Bel had over him. With both of the boys calling him either 'kitty' or 'fox' Tsuna was almost appreciative of his nickname 'Dame-Tsuna', at least that one had his name in it. Anyway, he changed into his cat form, tripped both of them up, and disappeared to hide until _one_ of them was gone.

At least some of those skills they learnt were useful. Fon and Colonnello's teachings ranged from common martial arts, _ukemi_ , and traditional techniques like _Nanba_ and _Shunshin no Jutsu_ (teleportation jutsu) -Tsuna swore that prior to all this training, it was only something you saw on TV- which involved a lot of smoke bombs and trying to move so fast in a flash step (of all things!) that human eyes couldn't follow, to things like taking apart and disabling modern firearms and utilising motion sensors and cameras.

There was one curious thing Tsuna discovered, ever since he inadvertently obtained the ability to see spirits, and that was the flashes of, well, he wasn't sure what it was but it looked like some type of aura surrounding the babies. Sometimes it appeared when Mammon was about to do make things appear from nothing, or when Colonnello was about to aim his rifle, or even when Fon was demonstrating a stance. The aura manifested in a transparent form of an adult that looked very much like the babies had they grown up.

Tsuna didn't ask because, although Colonnello and Fon were very open (assassins? In this day and age?) they never mentioned why they were babies even though they were evidently more mature than that (well Fon was, Colonnello still had his childish side), and it wasn't like they could see it.

It also seemed like it could be a pretty sensitive topic.

* * *

Though Shōichi and Spanner called it teleportation, and both looked at Tsuna with a crazy gleam in their eyes to which he shuddered and went to hide behind Hayato, Tsuna would call it 'travelling'.

If he had to describe it, it would be like envisioning an item or person located at the place he wanted to go to, and a tunnel leading to that place. Travelling through that tunnel, which appeared to make him disappear, took only a few seconds and then he would arrive. It mattered not where or how far the actual place was, Tsuna could get there in an what seemed like an instant. And the ability certainly cut down Tsuna's travel time for his business trips.

The only disadvantage was that Tsuna had to be in human-cat form to use it. Over time Tsuna would learn to switch between his human and not-so-human form so fast that most people would think they just imagined it and brush it off.

But right now, he was still getting used to it.

"Come here, Tsuna," Spanner coaxed while waving a stick with a piece of fur on the end at the brunet. Tsuna's kitty ears twitched and his grip on Hayato's shoulders tightened in an effort to restrain himself.

Must. Not. Give. Into. Urge. To. Chase.

Spanner waved the stick a bit more vigorously, closer to Tsuna's face.

He quickly moved it back as the brunet gave in and swiped one hand at the toy.

Damn cat urges.

Tsuna pouted as he leaned over to take another swipe.

Meanwhile, the boy between them was trying his best not to blush at how close his Tsuna-sama was to him; one of the brunet's arms was wrapped around his shoulders, still trying to hide behind him whilst playing with the toy Spanner was waving around. It was the only thing stopping him from he voicing his complaints at Spanner's teasing.

Then Shōichi came in, holding a pot with a purple grass-like plant, he could resolutely ignore all the playing around when he was in Science Mode. "Hey, Spanner, have you checked the progress of this one? I don't think breeding cat grass with-"

*chomp*

"..."

The three boys stared at Tsuna who had just taken a bite of the dubious plant.

Cue panic mode.

"Ahhh, Tsuna-san spit it out!"

"Tsuna-sama, that's not good for you!"

"Tsuna, see this nice bucket? I need you to come here and regurgitate."

Tsuna just laughed, hugged Hayato closer, and stuck out his tongue, showing nothing. "Did you really think I would eat it? And Spanner, that's a gross suggestion." It was fun teasing his friends.

The blond retaliated by throwing the cat toy across the room.

In an instant, Tsuna was after it, jumping up really high and catching the fur end. He landed on his feet and blushed in embarrassment when he saw the way his friends were looking at him.

Really, damn these cat urges.

* * *

Just before School started, Spanner dragged Tsuna away into the shopping centre.

To get a piercing.

Tsuna protested with all his might until the blond shoved something in his mouth and he blacked out.

When Tsuna emerged, expression promising pain with a new topaz stud glimmering in the light that also functioned as a tracking device, it was to Spanner just finishing up getting a tattoo. On his neck.

Tsuna recognised the design as one he'd doodled about a month ago. He didn't know his friend liked it _that_ much.

That didn't stop him from kicking the blond's shin and reprimanding him all the way back to their floor.

* * *

When the sakura were in full bloom, school started again. And Tsuna found himself across the table from a green haired boy a year older than him. The boy had a very large hat in the shape of an oversized ripe apple and the blankest stare Tsuna had ever seen on a person.

"So the principal is a boy in a creepy fox mask," he said flatly, without a single inflection in his tone.

Tsuna nodded. "And you're Fran-san," he replied evenly before smiling behind his mask. "Welcome to Nami-chuu."

"A sparkly creepy fox masked boy," Fran amended

Tsuna wisely chose to ignore that. "I hear you came from France, Fran-san. If you feel that it is too difficult to communicate here you may come to me for _Je parle_ _français_ (I speak French)."

"If a french speaking fox, fascinating," Fran clapped slowly before gesturing with his hands.

Tsuna suddenly found himself face to face with... Himself. The clone started singing a mocking song in french in a squeaky voice, but Tsuna barely noticed the insult because he was hit with a sudden epiphany.

 _"Take advantage of any assets you gain to maximise profits."_ Or it could be just his greedy older sibling's voice.

Fran suddenly found his hands being clasped by the fox principal that wasn't the illusion he just generated. Again, he got the impression of sparkles from the boy, though this time they were more eager than just warm sparkles.

"How would you like to make some extra money?"

* * *

Fran was a god-send, Tsuna concluded. He would even withstand all the caustic sarcastic remarks in exchange for that fascinating ability to produce illusions out of nothing. Particularly the ability to produce a clone of himself in class whilst he was at the base, catching up to his deadline, or finishing up a massive project for Alaire or at the Middle School attending to the never-ending stream of duties he had. He could even take short leaves without having absences marked in his records when he had to travel to attend some meeting or another for his jobs or Lory-san.

Fran's remark; "You're going to grow up stupid." Made Tsuna pout and vow to at least _try_ to keep up in his studies. Except math, that subject really was a lost cause for him.

Fran took the news of all of Tsuna's jobs with a blank face and a sarcastic pat on Tsuna's head with the remark, "what a smart tuna." Takeshi and Ryohei thought the apple headed guy was great, Hayato... thought it was a better idea to blow him up after being called 'cat-with-anger-management-issues-and-a-tuna-obsession', Hibari was still trying to bite him to death after the boy called _him_ a ' _shotacon_ ' and disappeared.

Shōichi and Spanner were just fascinated with Fran's abilities. The green haired boy shrugged, made some indigo mist-like thing -that Tsuna swore he saw Mammon make before- and conjured up a massive explosion that had Tsuna automatically yelling 'stop blowing up my office!' as a conditioned response.

"Looks kind of like those flame things we've seen before," Spanner commented.

"This is just awesome magic powers," Fran explained in his usual monotone. Which meant that he didn't really know what they were either. Then the boy showed off more of his ability by giving each of them a fruit hat: Spanner a banana, Shōichi a tomato and Tsuna a peach.

Meanwhile, Hayato was standing outside the lab, feeling rather conflicted. He wanted to tell his Tsuna-sama and his friends about Flames but Colonnello had warned the boy about involving Tsuna-sama in anything mafia related. And truthfully, the silver head had no desire to see his beloved saviour stained by that dark world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hibari, Ryohei and Fran are in First year Middle school (that's 12-13 years old), Tsuna, Hayato, Takeshi etc. are in their last year of Grade/Elementary school (that's 11-12 years old), Fuuta is in 3rd grade (age 8), Lambo and I-pin in 1st grade (age 6) at this point.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Personal headcanon: The Ninth sealed Tsuna's flames that time he visited when Tsuna was around 5.
> 
> Warnings: Swearing, blood, death, OOCness, implied torture and entirely fictional references to religion

They ducked through dark alleys, and over rooftops in the dead of the night. Several days spent outside or in rundown abandoned homes.

They had to move.

There was no place to stay. No place that was safe from their unique brand of pursuers.

Nightmare personified. Demonic. _Inhumane_.

One boy -so young and yet already a recognised criminal- could only chuckle mirthlessly at the irony. Such monikers that emerged from the dying breaths of _his_ victims being used to describe those of his pursuers.

And they weren't baseless either.

Because though they spent so many days -countless days- running, hiding, using his and his pawns abilities to their fullest (and his were no laughing matter, he had gone through several levels of the underworld -unwillingly- to achieve them after all) and yet they were still being dogged by those beings.

So when he came to a dead end, when deathly cold chains wrapped around his young emaciated form, he could only curse, heterochromatic eyes -one blue, the other a distinct blazing red- narrowed viciously.

"You will not keep me from my goal, Vindice!"

And hope that his stupid pawns would do themselves a favour and _stay_ away for once because even he can't do anything against the most ruthless group known to mafioso and man alike. Not that Lancia would care, but Chikusa and Ken could be incredibly selfless when it came to him. But that is why they are pawns, to be used and tossed when he had no need for them anymore and he certainly cannot use them if they are caught too -a small part of his mind, the traitorous part, said that he was actually worried.

He scoffed.

Mukuro Rokudo had long since abandoned such petty emotions.

And yet later, when he was chained and submerged in a tank full of viscous liquid that would restrain even the smallest of movements, he found himself using his otherworldly abilities to seek for another like himself.

Alone and abandoned with nothing more than raging emotion to keep one clinging to what little life they had.

And that was how he found her.

Somewhere far and yet close at the same time, an erudite scientist's robot wheeled in a new specimen; an unwanted and bandaged girl missing some of her most vital organs.

The scientist himself was eager for a live specimen to test his newest theories and experimental material.

So he could only grunt in annoyance when a mist-like haze enveloped the girl, filling in her sunken abdomen. Her one eye snapped open, very much alive.

Well, it wasn't every day he got a specimen run of illusionary organs.

And there were always other experiments he could perform...

* * *

Tsuna was already on the commercial flight, airborne with the others seated around him when he came to his senses and wondered what in the sky had made him agree to this trip.

"I can't wait!" Shōichi was on cloud nine and looked ready to float out of his seat beside Tsuna. His excitement was so great that he wasn't even sick as he usually was on any aircraft. The red-head's eyes _sparkled_ and a wide ecstatic grin stretched his face.

Right. This was why Tsuna agreed.

And the fact that Alaire had been begging him to come to Italy for the last two months to visit his cousin. Plus, to attend the book signing his new editor refused to compromise on in Germany.

"Can you _believe_ we got invited to meet The Verde?!" Shōichi asked for the nth time. "He's the greatest scientist ever! I can't wait show him our new inventions and the notes we drew up! What do you think he'll think of the shoes installed with a gyroscope to allow for walking on walls and ceilings? Or Spanner's new robot? Do you think he'll know anything about those flames powers we used? Of course he would, he is The Verde..." Shōichi blabbed on.

Spanner was also more excited than usual, checking one of his smaller robots for what Tsuna swore was the sixth time in the last hour. There was a larger robot being shipped over at the same time that looked like a much larger version of the mini-Mosca in their kitchen at home and the one at their base. Apparently the blond had a client who really wanted that bot.

Takeshi and Hayato were also with them. The rest of their gang was left back in Namimori.

Tsuna dearly hoped the town would still be there when he came back.

* * *

"My~ isn't he just precious!"

Tsuna gasped and flailed as he was squeezed by this muscled man with sunglasses and brightly dyed hair.

"Isn't he?! My _apparenti mingnon_ is just adorable!"

At the two very metrosexual men fawned over Tsuna's adorability, the brunet was struggling to keep his feelings of 'I want to get out of here!' suppressed for fear of turning into his cat-like form to teleport out of there. Because, although it would relieve his urge, it would do nothing to stop the men from hunting him down and dressing him up.

Alaire's cousin, Lussuria, was very similar to the designer himself and they got along swimmingly. Though Alaire was more of a lanky build and Lussuria was pure muscle, but he still looked thinner than Brown-san. At least Brown-san didn't hug Tsuna and for that, the boy was rather glad as he felt his life being squeezed out of him.

Perhaps it would have been wiser to bring the ever protective Hayato with him.

But it was too late now and Tsuna had to wiggle and squirm until he finally landed on the ground with a soft thump. He pouted, his hair and clothes dishevelled from the suffocating 'hug'.

Lussuria _squealed_ and Tsuna 'hiieed' as he ducked under the table laden with fabrics.

It was another hour before they _finally_ got down to business.

"See, _piccolino_ , my dear cousin here is part of a rather large and extensive group that does, ah, what was your job again?"

"The Varia take 'special' requests and fulfil them with a hundred percent guarantee, hohoho~" Lussuria chuckled to himself.

Tsuna appeared confused. And where did he hear Varia from before...?

"Alaire has disclosed so much about your amazing designs and your talents that I just could not resist the temptation!" Lussuria said with a wide grin. "And the Varia are in desperate need of a wardrobe change. Just seeing all those drab soulless members wonder around in those abysmal clothes... ugh!" The flamboyant man's hips swung in disgust.

"A simple but unique design should be fine for the members," Lussuria continued. "Something you can make to the standard sizes. But I was hoping for something different, and custom made for the captains."

With a flash of his glasses, he slipped out a sheet of paper from inside his shirt and waved it in front of Tsuna. "I have their exact measurements here~ Right down to their pinkies~" The creepy chuckle that followed made Tsuna feel very sympathetic for these unknown captains.

"Now now, Lussuria, at least let _piccolino_ choose whether he'll take on your request or not," Alaire said.

When Tsuna received a rather disturbing 'mou~ pleeaaase', complete with fake background sparkles and sashaying hips, he relented reluctantly.

"Only if you stop hugging me."

* * *

When Tsuna came back to the hotel rather late in the night, he was dragging a tall unconscious man behind him.

Takeshi grinned and asked, "did you knock someone out again?"

"Did this person do something to offend you, Tsuna-sama?! Hayato exclaimed. His Tsuna-sama, being the compassionate person he was, had a tendency to knock out anyone who he thought was doing bad things.

Tsuna dumped the man on his bed and looked at his friends mournfully. "I don't do it that much, do I?!"

Takeshi chuckled while Hayato just looked at him expectantly, proverbial tail wagging a mile a minute.

Tsuna, appearing rather disgruntled, just folded his arms and said, "I found him in an alley just lying there, looking really depressed, so I held my hand out to him and he took it, and then he fell unconscious _on his own,_ " he emphasised when he saw the looks he was getting. "I think from exhaustion or starvation."

The two boys looked at the man again. He had two scars running up his right cheek and spiky black hair. He wore a suit that had a few tears through it and gloves on his hands. Hayato got the distinct impression that he'd seen this person before, though the silveret could not be sure.

The door to their room opened again and the smell of fried chicken filled the room. Shōichi and Spanner came in with plastic bags laden of food. Shōichi was still jumpy with excitement about meeting his idol in a few days.

"Tsuna, are you coming with me to deliver the Mosca now?" Spanner asked as they finished up eating, making sure to leave some for the unconscious man on the bed.

Tsuna glanced at Hayato warily. "You won't kill the man when he wakes will you?"

"It that's what you want, Tsuna-sama!"

The brunet smiled and turned back to the blond, nodding. "Sure, why not?"

Bad question, Tsuna.

* * *

"Mammon?!" Tsuna exclaimed upon reaching the collection point with Spanner, the enormous box containing the Mosca in tow.

The cloaked baby floated over to land on Tsuna's shoulder. "You're money is growing very nicely," said Mammon, voice strangely proud, as the baby petted his hair.

Tsuna resisted the ridiculous urge to purr.

"Are you the one buying Mosca?" Spanner asked, looking laid back as ever with his lollipop in his mouth.

The baby nodded. "Mn, I should have realised it was you."

"What do you need a large destructive robot for?" Tsuna couldn't help asking.

With one more curt pat to Tsuna's head, the baby said, "you don't need to know." It then floated off to circle the box.

"Do you want me to open it?" Spanner asked.

The baby shook its head. "I can see it just fine, it should be useful. I'll have the rest of the amount transferred to your account after we get it up and running."

Spanner nodded.

As the deal was finishing up, Tsuna asked his adopted sibling if Mammon would join them for supper. An offer to treat convinced the baby to agree.

"Mu, we still need to go over more investment opportunities for your money, so I might as well."

"You should check his math grades too," Spanner suggested as they settled into a late night diner, "nothing we do is working."

Tsuna flushed, "Spanner!"

The baby tilted its hooded head. "Hypnotism?"

"We've tried brainwashing," Spanner explained, looking rather dejected. "It didn't work."

Tsuna just grumbled.

Spanner gave him a thumbs up.

Tsuna threw the pepper shaker at the blond, which Spanner caught.

Mammon shook its head. "No, my form of hypnotism is different, it relies on manipulating the subconscious with illusions into, in this case, believing he can do math."

The baby settled on the table in front of Tsuna. "This will be a service, older sibling to younger."

Tsuna looked even more dubious.

"Fantasma, sit on him," the baby ordered

Mammon's frog croaked and leapt onto Tsuna's head forcefully, pushing the brunet's head down. The baby touched Tsuna's forehead before he could back away, and his eyes unfocused.

"Hm?" Mammon tilted its head. "Another illusionist has touched you," the baby muttered, monotone voice somewhat dark. Mammon shook its head and settled for the task at hand.

It took about a minute, Spanner watching with interest as a mist-like indigo glow rose from the baby before it disappeared abruptly.

Tsuna's eyes opened in a daze as he straightened in his booth seat.

Mammon stepped back and asked, "If I invest 545 dollars at the start of the year into a bank account with an 8% compound monthly interest, how much would I have by the end of the year?"

"1720 dollars and 74 cents, with no withdrawals," Tsuna answered instantly before tilting his head and frowning as if he couldn't understand himself how he suddenly knew that.

Spanner's mouth popped open, his lollipop almost falling out in shock. "No way." The blond quickly asked another question while balancing his straw on his hand, "I have a beam, this end at x distance away from the pivot. I'm applying 20 newtons of force down on the other end and this end has moved up 30 centimetres. The beam weighs 2 kilograms. What is x?"

Tsuna's eyes spun. "Um, I have no idea."

Spanner's shoulders slumped.

"I can only give him what I know." Mammon stated with a shrug.

"So, pretty much anything that helps him keep track of his money, huh?"

Tsuna was still struggling with the random info slipping through his head about calculating deficits and expenditures and statistics. He had the distinct feeling that this type of math would be as useless as Spanner's would have been in school.

He sobbed freely into his hands as Fantasma jumped back down to its master.

* * *

"There you are!"

" _Merde_!" (Shit!)

Tsuna flung himself over the next guard, kicking his gun down as he flipped over the man's head and dashed down the next barren, darkly lit corridor.

How had a simple mission turned into this?

Usually Spanner and Shōichi kept to the computers and monitors, sometimes he or Hayato helping out, but there were times, like with Lambo, where the two resident geeks got offered jobs that required some field work too, which usually he, Hayato, Ryohei or Takeshi ended up doing, sometimes Hibari too as long as the prefect got to 'bite people to (proverbial) death'.

This time it was one while they were in Italy, just a simple request concerning strange movement at an abandoned lab. Spanner did as much background checking he could, though for some reason the monitoring equipment -and some of those cameras were as small as _fleas_ \- didn't work in the area. The lab was previously owned by a mafia family by the name of Estraneo, and what few files Shōichi had pulled up made Tsuna want to empty his stomach contents. But the lab was supposed to abandoned and Tsuna felt strongly against getting Hayato and Takeshi involved, plus as the resident 'ghost hunter' as Spanner had dubbed him, it only made sense for him to go and check it out.

He hadn't expected to be caught and caged like an animal by these crazed people who were obviously after the Estraneo's research. When he realised they wanted to _apply_ the research well, Tsuna wasn't sticking around to find out. The only issue was that they'd drugged him and any attempt to so much as turn into his cat-form and teleport out made him feel increasingly nauseous, so he had to stick to conventional methods, or risk puking and falling unconscious, leaving his body vulnerable.

The next guy who came along got a good kick to his crotch. Tsuna grabbed the gun he dropped, a tranquilliser like just about all the other firearms the other guards had. The boy fumbled a bit with the trigger, because although Colonnello and Fon taught them how to defend against modern firearms and take them apart neither baby actually taught them how to wield the guns. But theory could be applied and Tsuna's first shot met an incoming guard's arm.

The next one went to the next guard's chest area. It takes about five seconds for the tranquilliser to take affect and Tsuna didn't wait around to be sure as he tore down the corridor, eyes looking for an escape route.

He visibly flinched as his eyes land on the spirit of a girl who looked about as old as he is, covered in wounds and her head half severed, the transparent wound flickering almost black like a gruesome grin at her neck. She pointed to a door among the endless row down the corridor, large eyes peering at him in sympathy.

Tsuna grit his teeth, wondering what the hell was done here to warrant so many spirits of tortured children to remain, some still half screaming in an agony that only Tsuna can hear.

He nodded his thanks and barrelled through the doors Ryohei-style, shooting the two guards stationed there before they even had their guns up.

The room was scattered with broken equipment on the dirty tiled floors, and the last door Tsuna could see is solid concrete. He swiftly made his way over, not even bothering with the handle, quickly putting his skill to use on the electronic lock instead.

"Halt!"

Tsuna rolled his eyes as he fired another two shots from another tranquilliser gun he swiped from a fallen guard. Who would stop just because you yelled at them to?

The lock beeped its approval seconds later under Tsuna's caring hands and the brunet opened the door, squinting as blinding sunlight streamed into his eyes. His foot took one step over the threshold.

And he blacked out.

* * *

When Lancia, otherwise known as The Strongest Man in Northern Italy, woke it was with the vague memory of an angel reaching out to him and the thought that he truly was selfish, to reach out even though he deserved no redemption in his death.

Not when his hands were the ones that spilled the blood of his own family.

When he came face to face with several boys much younger than him; a silveret with fierce green eyes, a black haired boy with a cheerful demeanour and a redhead with a worried frown, he realised that he was not dead yet and that his life had just gotten a lot more complicated.

" _Where am I?_ " Lancia asked.

The cheery boy frowned in confusion, as did the redhead.

It was the silveret who answered, with a scowl. " _In our hotel room. Tsuna-sama was gracious enough to pick you up so you should be grateful!"_

Before Lancia could even ask who this 'Tsuna-sama' was, he heard a name that made his blood run cold.

"...lost him at the Estraneo base."

The man's head whipped around so fast that the other kids jerked back, dark eyes settling on the blond child staring gravely at his laptop screen.

"Did you just say Estraneo?"

* * *

"... keeps escaping! And he took out five guards this time! Five! Last time he destroyed a good potion of the research we gathered and destroyed two labs!"

"Interesting child... Alright, you are dismissed." The sound of booted feet retreating and then the same voice again. "Is the equipment ready? And don't lie to me Shamal I know exactly where that bastard child you have as a student is." Tsuna blearily recognised the harsh tone of the man in charge whom he met the first time he was thrown into a cage. "All the papers from the Estraneo say that this was their best creation."

"... It's ready, Federico."

Tsuna resisted the urge to groan aloud at his pounding headache, instead focusing on evening his breathing. Fon always said breathing was important.

"Hello child."

Tsuna's eyes snapped open to meet the greedy ones of the man in the suit above him. He was holding a gun -one that shot bullets, Tsuna noted- but he didn't care as he settled for a seething glare, expressing as much hate as he had ever felt for someone who had no qualms about experimentation children, let alone human beings.

He clenched his hands where they were locked down on either side of him on the steel table he lay on, his legs were in a similar position. Tsuna felt sick to the core to find that they actually _fit_ his child-sized wrists and ankles.

The man, middle aged, and with dark hair and cruel eyes, smirked and steeped back allowing another man, slightly unshaven with a white doctor's coat and weary sad eyes hidden under a hard edge, to come forward.

For a moment Tsuna and the doctor just watched each other until the distinct sound of the safety being undone from a gun reached their ears.

"Get to it, Shamal."

Those eyes darken as the doctor straightened and told Tsuna, "We don't have anaesthetic."

Tsuna hesitated before nodding, realising this man was trying to apologise and forewarn him of something that he can't avoid.

The doctor looked entirely too regretful, anger burning deep in his eyes as a needle was inserted into Tsuna's arm.

The brunet didn't have time to think anymore as the pain exploded.

He didn't know how long he had screamed for before he made out voices above the sensation of ice cold needles running through his very veins and his own voice.

"...going on?!"

"...don't know! ...a seal! ...have to undo it first..."

Tsuna's voice was already hoarse, but then he felt _something_ that was like his mind was being ripped apart. For a moment of excruciatingly painful clarity he could feel it -whatever _it_ was- being ripped from his very being.

And then, like an unrestrained blaze, he went up in flames.

In the background, other screams joined his and those of the ghosts of tortured children.

* * *

"SHIT, YOU IDIOT WATCH THE-!"

Lancia winced as they barely scraped by a truck going through the intersection they'd just run through while the light was still red. After the last three cars they ran over, one telephone pole -actually that one Takeshi had just sliced through with his sword before they hit it-, a pool and several trees, the man was starting to wonder if it would have been better if he'd died _before_ meeting these children.

He had agreed to lead them to the old base's location. He just hadn't counted on them stealing a van, and letting the boy with the perpetual grin drive.

If the Strongest man in Northern Italy had known about the boy's driving skills he would have volunteered instead. As it was though, the silver haired boy was screaming insults at the grimly grinning boy in the front seats, while the blond and the red-head at the back were typing furiously on their laptops, barely flinching as everyone was lifted a foot into the air and came crashing down again when they ran over what Lancia guessed was another unfortunate car.

"YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING KILL US!"

"Chill Hayato, I've got this."

"THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO BE QUOTING MOVIES YOU BASTARD!"

Well, at least they were making speed.

* * *

Tsuna was dressed in a pale grey yukata, bare feet scraping against the rough uneven ground as he tried to ignore the pained agonising screams that seemed to be a natural part of this place.

Sharp canine teeth bared threateningly, hardened red skin, deadly horns, whipping tails and slit pupils sitting in cruel eyes that were set in faces from the very tales of the underworld.

Tsuna ignored the creature that tried to crawl after him -too many limbs and faces mangled together in the horrifying shape of a monster- and continued to follow the path carved through flame, sulphuric fumes and creatures that looked more monster than human.

He stopped though, when he came upon another person. A girl with bandages entwined in her short purple hair and covering one eye. She too, wore a pale yukata and held a three pronged trident in defence against a monster with a man's torso, snake-like lower portion and a bull's head.

Before he knew it he was standing in front of her protectively, one hand held up threateningly. Tsuna was sure he should be panicking, and no, not just for landing in this unfamiliar place haunted by monsters, but because his hand was on fire like-

Actually it was rather like the time he saw Takeshi light up his sword with blue fire, and Ryohei with his yellow sparks and even Fran's indigo wisps when the teen made his strange illusions.

Either way Tsuna didn't care so much as the fact that the monster was backing away warily. Tsuna dashed forward, slapping one of the exorcism seals he that had suddenly appeared in his hand on the monster's head. For a moment the seal glowed orange with his flames, smoking but not disintegrating like Tsuna half expected it. The monster let out an impressive roar before dissipating into dust that glowed before floating away.

Tsuna blinked. Huh, so those seals worked on monsters too.

Turning to the girl, Tsuna tried for a reassuring smile, his strange fire dissipating. "Hello, I'm Tsuna."

One large amethyst eye blinked back at him as the girl hugged her large trident and said softly, "I'm Chrome."

"Do you have any idea where we are?"

The girl shook her head.

Tsuna tilted his head thoughtfully, stepping aside as some strange creature made of bones leapt for him.

"Do you want to come with me? We can find the boss of this place and ask him to let us out."

Chrome smiled a little and nodded and the two kids continued down the pathway.

"By the way, where'd you get your trident from?"

Chrome brightened. "It's from Mukuro-sama..."

* * *

The Overlord of Hell was enjoying a bask in the heated lava pools in the deepest corner of his realm when one of his servants scuttled up, bearing a report on some human souls without a jurisdiction wreaking havoc in his realm.

Again.

Last time had been a cocky brat with a sick obsession over pineapples whom his Ugly Highness had released after a fight that had almost torn his realm apart and managed to scar a good portion of his subjects. But at least that boy had immoral and malevolent traits, enough to make even a demon jealous, and was a good example for the younger demons.

This time there were two, and what made them so much worse was-

"Your Ugly Highness, they're showing compassion! Two souls have already attained passage into the upper realms!"

This was the realm of hell, where the worst of the batch ended up. They had murderers, aggressive psychopaths, sexual deviants and madmen in abundance, plenty of souls to keep demons occupied as they dished out the deserved decades of punishment for the accumulated sins.

Enlightenment, enough to get passage up and to the... Less severe realms -more boring in the Overlord's opinion- was very rare for souls drenched in the type of sin that kept them here to attain, let alone for some of them to even consider.

"They've managed to exorcise three demons, and counting!"

 _That_ made the large demon stand up, sending a cascade of lava out and almost splashing the demon messenger if the creature hadn't scurried away in time.

How dare some brats come in and start exorcising his subjects?!

The largest and most ruthless demon in hell would teach them not to mess around in his realm.

* * *

Hayato hadn't known what to expect when they made it to Tsuna.

But he certainly didn't expected to see his ex-mentor slumped against a wall with third degree burns running down one arm, the rest of his coat singed and ashen.

Hell, he had no idea how he was supposed to feel at all when he spotted the other badly burnt body slumped against the far end of the room, wounds far too black, flesh burnt so badly that the whites of bone showed through, thick red liquid bleeding sluggishly that told him that whatever had happened was within the last few hours and that this person was far too gone to revive.

"...heart rate is very low. I think he was put into a death-like state." Hayato tore his eyes away from the slumped figure of his ex-mentor to where Shōichi was bent over the brunet who lay in a mess of twisted metal equipment clearly melted from whatever high temperature fire broke out in this room. In fact the scorch marks formed a black soot-filled circle spreading around two metres from the brunet.

Hayato still felt sick knowing that whatever had happened, these people were experimenting on Tsuna-sama. Even more so when he noted that none of the men they'd taken down when they ran into the place, nor the body over there, had a scrap of white to them indicating a sterile coat. Only Shamal had a lab coat and Hayato was almost afraid to face the facts laying bare in front of his face.

Baseball-idiot didn't look like he was doing too well either from where he was clenching Tsuna-sama's pale hand. And Hayato didn't have the heart to yell at him anymore.

At least until the cut appeared.

Sea green eyes widened as a fine line suddenly opened on Tsuna-sama's cheek, blood leaking from the wound. He barely had time to yell before a red stain started appearing on the brunet's shirt.

"Shit!"

* * *

Tsuna winced at the new wound, a shallow cut from right shoulder to left hip, thanking Fon and Colonnello over and over again in his head that the babies had taught him how to fight as he took stock of the other wounds littering his body.

Chrome was, thankfully, doing better having spun many illusions to keep many of the smaller monsters at bay while Tsuna had dealt with the large one that had charged at them in a rage. He couldn't understand why the big monster -demon, apparently- was so angry. He and Chrome were only trying to help!

Exorcising the demons meant that they'd be purified!

It took awhile, some of the battle comprised of a few ghosts, some rather strategically placed boulders, trees and a lava pool and one large exorcism circle scrawled messily in the dirt but eventually he and Chrome managed to get rid of the big demon.

He and the purple haired girl, bruised and sporting several open bleeding wounds, were sharing a triumphant and shy smile when a fox dressed in old fashioned robes poofed out of nowhere and started reading from an official looking scroll laden with seals:

' _As in accordance with tradition, when the King of the realm of Hell is defeated the victor shall be named the new ruler...'_

The fox took a moment to peer at the two children with slitted eyes, nose twitching. "That would be you two."

_'And would the higher-ups please be more mindful of unregistered souls dropping into the wrong realms.'_

The fox paused for another moment. "Oops, that wasn't meant for you."

The animal closed the scroll and tucked it away, taking Tsuna's and Chrome's wrists in each paw.

Tsuna was still trying to twist his mind around the fact that- he just became the ruler of _what_? As Chrome asked what the fox was doing.

"Just giving you the seal to mark your position. Also useful for finding your way back here to continue your duties."

And then a searing burn was felt against his wrist and Tsuna cursed as he felt something push him. Hard.

And he began falling.

* * *

The boys were trying their best to staunch the appearing wounds on their friend when Hayato heard a groan from behind them.

His head whipped around to land on the incredulous eyes of his ex-mentor.

"H-Haya-" The man didn't get a chance to finish as the silvered stormed over and kicked the man, regardless of injuries. Seething green eyes, roiling with barely restrained anger looked right into Shamal's as the boy grabbed what was left of the man's labcoat.

_"What the fuck did you do to Tsuna-sama?"_

Takeshi and Shōichi took this moment to appreciate the fact that when Hayato was _truly_ angry, he didn't blow up like an unrestrained explosive, no, the silveret was quiet dark roiling anger under a layer of false calm.

Shamal's eyes widened before the man stood up, as fast as he could with the excruciating pain his left arm was emanating. Pushing Hayato aside with his uninjured arm, the man could always appreciate that his old charge was alive and well -yes he cared no matter how much he denied it, wouldn't have gotten into this situation if he hadn't- another time and sort out the mess that was his responsibility. The doctor barely glanced at Federico slumped at the far wall, his eyes could see the wounds and already concluded they were dead. Good riddance.

Shamal agreed that the Ninth boss of Vongola was a great leader, but his son was another matter altogether. Perhaps Federico had gone too long in his power struggle against his brothers -he had been the youngest after all- and lost himself to greed, overpowering ingrained morals with his need for more power. Regardless, Shamal did not care, the man had threatened the doctor with a child and though Shamal made sure there was little to threaten him with -always moving, some casual flirting, and never staying in one place for long- Hayato was the only person the doctor had ever mentored and the stubborn brat had wormed his way in.

The man had to pause though, when a deadly blade was directed at his torso, dark eyes watching him intently and he heard his ex-charge's tell tale sign of a lighter being lit up behind him. Even the redhead at the brunet's side looked at him warily, one hand fingering something under his shirt, the other gripping tightly onto the cloth padded against the boy Shamal was trying to reach.

Shamal held up his arms in the universal sign of I-mean-no-harm. "I'm trying to help."

"You've-"

A cry from behind the boy with the sword made them pause. Shamal was surprised the boy kept his eyes on him, any other child would have been distracted. That wasn't to say that the boy didn't want to turn to see to his friend, hands tightened around the hilt, shoulders twitching up.

Shamal tried to look as non-threatening as possible

"Tsuna-san?!"

Coughing and then the brunet sitting up in the wreckage he had caused, wheezing and swearing in -was that _German_?- breathlessly. Shamal frowned, if he didn't know better it sounded like someone had applied a decent amount of pressure and force to the boy's diaphragm.

"How do you feel?" The doctor found himself asking. Well, accurate diagnosis involved laboratory testing but initial diagnosis was usually from a person's account. And he could never be sure with the Estraneo's experiments. This particular one involved a lot of pain, enough for the body to shut down almost completely, like 'death' so that the soul could be sent away and start on some cycle of rebirth, again the doctor couldn't completely decipher the old documents especially when it started yammering on about spiritual stuff.

The sword twitched closer but Shamal ignored it for the confused brown eyes peering at them from over the swordboy's shoulder.

The doctor found himself feeling relieved that those eyes didn't look at him in fear, only caution. "Federico and his minions are gone," he said, trying to sound reassuring. The doctor grimaced a little inside, he was never that good with brats.

Those large eyes blinked and Shamal cursed himself for his lack of foresight when they looked around, landing on the charred remains at the far wall and instantly coming back to the doctor's arm, young face paling instantly as understanding dawned in those widening eyes that flared orange for a moment.

"D-did I-"

Shamal took a step to the side, attempting to bodily obscure the child's view of the body as his dark eyes met those of an innocent child's, urging them to look nowhere else. "You didn't."

"But-"

"No 'but's kid, it was my fault for releasing that seal on you. Hell, if you want to place the blame on the right person, it should be Federico."

Shamal ignored the way the boy flinched at the name. This kid had to understand that it wasn't his fault, the doctor didn't even know how anyone could control such an impressive amount of flames.

But the doctor also knew that words from himself, practically a stranger, could mean absolutely nothing. Which was why he breathed an inner sigh of relief when the red head grabbed the brunet's hand, diverting his attention.

Resolved green eyes met trembling honey brown.

Shōichi had never seen Tsuna-san look so vulnerable. The brunet could be as shy as Shōichi at times but he also possessed the traits to step forward and be the beacon of light the rest of them followed blindly and unquestioningly because they all knew Tsuna would always do his best by them. The redhead did not care that Tsuna had most likely killed those men -he did care actually- but that trembling gaze told him everything he needed to know.

So Shōichi knocked his forehead gently against Tsuna's, red locks mixing with unruly brown as green eyes stared resolutely into honey brown. "You're Tsuna-san, regardless of what you do and what you will do, you'll always be _our_ Tsuna-san."

Tsuna started as a hand landed on his shoulder. "That's right, Tsuna. Did you want to hurt those people on purpose like that?"

Tsuna shook his head before braving a peek up at Takeshi who offered a gentle smile Tsuna had never seen before on the taller boy's face. A glance at Hayato showed a similar expression.

It was wobbly and still shaky from the implications of what he did, but Tsuna managed a true smile back.

He would never trade his friends for the world.

* * *

They all bustled out of the building as soon as possible into the quickly darkening day. Spanner and Lancia, who had split up to look at the rest of the building, joined them outside near the foliage lining the driveway up to the lab with bandages and supplies which Shamal quickly used to treat Tsuna's wounds -whilst muttering something about the mournful lack of women- and his own burns.

After a few explanations ("Are you fucking stupid or something, Shamal?! Do you think I'd get caught that easily?" "Hmm... Well I do recall a certain brat always charging headfirst into trouble which _I_ had to clean up." "S-shut up!") and then Spanner noticing the strange new raised tattoo-like brand on Tsuna's right wrist that read 魔王 (Maō) meaning, demon king, and a rather awkward recount of events about what happened in Hell (Tsuna was _still_ trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he'd ended up in _Hell_ ) and then Lancia telling them about how he'd ended up stranded and with no will to live after being possessed by an illusionist Mukuro Rokudo and killing all of his family, well, it ended up as a rather emotional and depressing night.

And then Tsuna opened his mouth and said, "I want to save Mukuro." He set his mouth stubbornly when the others all turned incredulous expressions on him. Surely a boy who had the heart to save a girl from dying couldn't be _that_ bad.

Before any of them could protest, however, the bushes rustled and out leapt a blonde boy with sharp canines and wild eyes. A blank-faced boy with a white beanie followed.

The blond boy leapt on Lancia. "Mukuro-sama has been caught!"

The scar faced man was startled but he tried to remain calm. "By whom?"

"Who do you think?! We have to get him back, byon!"

Lancia's eyes hardened. "We cannot. Not the _Vindice_."

The mere mention of their names was like a summons.

Tsuna, intuition going haywire, managed to grab the two closest to him -Shamal and Spanner- and dived backwards into the thick brush just as the very air turned icy and dark portals opened up, chains darting out to enclose flailing limbs and struggling bodies.

Hayato had turned a sickening shade of white while Takeshi dropped his bat with a hiss as chains tightened painfully around his wrists.

Terrifying beings from nightmares emerged from the numerous portals. Great black cloaks wafted in the air to some invisible tune, eerie bandaged faces, stark white, only revealed small defining features like straggly black hair that was topped by a top hat wrapped in bandages. Chains clicked and trailed around like coiling snakes.

Fear and terror was palpable around these horrifying effigies.

 **"We have them,"** one of the cloaked beings stated.

Chains clinked taught, and Tsuna's eyes widened from where he was peering out of the brush as they lifted Hayato, Takeshi, Shōichi and Lancia and the other two boys effortlessly, everyone had been knocked unconscious.

"Stop!"

Spanner's grip on his shoulder wasn't enough to stop Tsuna from rushing forward recklessly.

Tsuna stood in front of the bundle of chains that held Hayato. "These are my friends you're taking!" He trembled, knees shaking, as he felt cold emotionless gazes bore into him. But he couldn't let the fear take him, these were his friends!

After a pause, the one with the long straggly black hair was the one who asked, voice low and dark, coming out as an almost hiss, **"Do you know who we are, child?"**

"N-no!" Tsuna stuttered. How was he supposed to know?

The black cloaks stirred, Tsuna almost swearing that he could hear 'civilian' being whispered among them.

 **"It does not matter."** The cloaked being in front of Tsuna remarked coldly. **"We will take anyone who interferes."**

Tsuna's eyes widened as cold chains slithered around him and a numbness descended upon him. His only reprieve was that Spanner and Shamal hadn't been noticed.

* * *

About a day later a certain blond adult was called into the Vongola Ninth's private office.

The old man had his hands clasped before him, looking gravely serious, something which instantly stopped the blond's cheery greeting short.

"Iemitsu, your son is Tsunayoshi Sawada, correct?"

The blond nodded. He kept his family apart from his job as much as possible. Only The Ninth and Coyote knew of their names and appearances.

"The Vindice has reported that they have successfully captured Mukuro Rokudō, his subordinates, and apparently a few civilians who they claimed are suspects to this case."

"And...?" Iemitsu asked, confused.

The Ninth sighed. "A Tsunayoshi Sawada is one of those suspects."

"..."

"WHAT?!"

The Ninth held up a hand. "Calm yourself Iemitsu, it's possible that it could just be someone with the same name. Wait until we have more information."

But Iemitsu barely paid attention, mind reeling at the thought of his adorable little tuna fish in the very scary clutches of the widely feared Vindice.

* * *

Lanchia, otherwise known as the Strongest Man in Northern Italy, was stunned, flabbergasted, in complete and utter shook, as he stood with these children in the freezing snow _outside_ the _Vendicare_ compound.

When he woke up in a cell, the other children placed in the cells adjacent to him, he'd paled and felt his stomach drop from the sheer knowledge that he'd been caught by the most ruthless group to ever exist in the mafia, these children along with him.

The children had taken stock of the entire situation rather well, despite him explaining where they were, their _very_ unlikely chance of ever getting out, and apologising profusely for there was no doubt that the Vindice had been after him and the other two for associating with Mukuro Rokudo. The silver head, Hayato, had the right reaction though; he turned pale, almost green at the mention of Vindice.

The black haired kid, Takeshi, laughed, but his smile appeared strained, while a calculating look appeared in the red head's eyes. Then they turned to the cell beside Lancia and the man paled even more as he realised he'd missed the presence of a fourth child, one he had hoped had gotten away.

Tsuna walked into the hall that ran between the cells, soft spoken features, clear honey brown eyes framed by unruly fluffy hair encompassing them all in one look.

"Okay, let's get out of here," the boy said with a gentle smile.

Of course Lancia had been shocked at how casually the boy just said that. "Did you not hear what I just said? This is the _Vindice_." Then he realised something, eyes widening in shock, "how did you get out of your cell?!"

The boy tilted his head, those clear eyes boring in Lancia's, before he shrugged. "Just because they are widely feared doesn't mean they don't make mistakes."

The other kids were actually snickering as Hayato claimed, some colour returning to his features, "Nothing can lock up Tsuna-sama!"

Lancia didn't know how right that statement was.

It took them approximately 1 minute to work out some sort of 'plan' which went something along the lines of: get out in any way you can without facing the jailers.

Then something beeped. And Takeshi started talking to his shirt collar and answering voices replied, full of static.

As Lancia realised the children had gotten a communication device past the Vindice he duly noted that perhaps it was best to stop thinking of these boys with normal children in mind, for it was evident that these kids were anything _but_ average.

Yes, Lancia could only gape, when Tsuna popped out a pair of ears and tails and promptly disappeared on them.

He came back minutes later with blueprints of Vendicare as if it was _normal_ to have blueprints of the most hidden prison on earth, some smart phones, and fake passports to swap with their original ones that the Vindice had taken. The ears and tails were there for only a second before they disappeared.

The other children seemed to think it was perfectly standard as he let them out of their respective cells -no Lancia still did not know how he did that- gathered around and started perusing over the details.

Tsuna also went into Lancia's cell, the locks and bolts at the door easily unlocked as if they were meant to be, looking over the chains that bound him (the children had not been bound but then they were civilians -or they were supposed to be).

"Leave me here, Mukuro may possess me again and hurt you." Lancia knew the illusionist still had his mark on him, and he did not desire to repeat what happened last time when he came to, with his family bleeding and broken around him.

The brunet frowned, arms on his hips. "Don't say that. I was the one who picked you up in the first place so you're my responsibility."

Lancia's mouth popped opened to argue but the chains were already falling and the boy had returned to his friends. A phone was handed to the only adult as he stepped out of his cell and Lancia's jaw fell open again as he realised it was a digital blueprint with not only different coloured dots that indicated him and the children but white moving ones that paced the halls. "Are these... The Vindici? But... How...?"

"Yes, well, it's not like they're invisible." The red head, who'd looked so afraid before now looked very sure of himself as he adjusted up his glasses.

"Spanner, who is outside, and Shōichi are really great at these sorts of things," Takeshi chimed in cheerfully.

A clatter from behind them made the group turn and see Tsuna again holding a sword, _lots_ of dynamite, some strange looking gadgets and shuriken. He turned to Lancia gravely, "I'm sorry if that giant metal ball is yours, it's too big for me to move with."

"..." Lancia found himself at a loss for words.

As they were sneaking out, of what they realised were temporary holding cells, down the dark hallways that had only dim lights to light the way when Lancia noted that the boys barely made a sound as they moved. Evidently they'd been trained, the man had been busy fending off men when they'd stormed the lab before, but he did manage to glimpse Takeshi and Hayato in battle -if the few seconds of fighting could be called that.

"Hey."

Lancia paused when he noted he'd been trailing behind, the boy with the easy grin joining him with a rather serious look in his eyes.

"You know, if you don't know what to do with your life anymore, following Tsuna isn't a bad idea."

The man frowned as the boy grinned a bit too cheerfully. "I recognise the look in your eyes."

"Mukuro Rokudo will not let me go." Lancia said gravely. And he had too much blood on his hands to associate with these children. But he did vow on his life to get them out of here especially since that brunet was taking such a great risk with him.

Takeshi's grin turned fonder, more genuine. "Tsuna can fix that," he stated without a trace of doubt in his voice. "Tsuna can do _anything_ he sets his mind to."

And as Lancia watched the brunet stop in front of the cell that held Ken and Chikusa, talking to them and letting them out without hesitation he thought perhaps too much belief was being put on the shoulders of such a small frail looking boy.

When they made it out of the nerve wracking maze that was Vendicare, managing to avoid all the Vindici, and make it through the traps that they very well could have died from -the children were surprisingly adept at spotting them. Beaten and battered, they stood before the last wall between themselves and freedom. They chose a wall rather than a door which would have been guarded. Tsuna held a round device against the palm of his hand which he pressed against the old stone. The device beeped and spun, the beeps came faster in sequence and higher in pitch until it abruptly stopped and the wall shattered like glass, letting in a gust of frigid cold air. And Lancia couldn't help but agree there was some truth to young Takeshi's words.

When they made it safely to the small hidden underground base Spanner and Shamal had somehow dug out, and Tsuna claimed he was going in again to get Mukuro. Lancia couldn't help but think that the child had a few screws loose as they all, including Lancia (but excluding Ken and Chikusa) reached out to stop him.

Tsuna disappeared with a reassuring smile.

* * *

One day later, as Iemitsu was planning a rather reckless break-into-an-impregnable-prism-to-save-his-beloved-tuna-fishie plan between skiving off from his duties, he was called back to the Ninth's office.

He tried his best to just look distraught and not on the verge of trying to break into the terrifying _Vendicare_.

"Iemitsu," the Ninth started gravely. "The Vindice has contacted me privately."

Iemitsu grew cold. Everyone in the mafia knew of the merciless spectres that governed their world. Any private contact to a family never meant any good news.

"We have been informed that they have safely released the suspects and that Mukuro Rokudō is now under probation under one Tsunayoshi Sawada's care."

"..."

"WHAT?!"

"Perhaps I was mistaken, Sawada is a rather common name... It may not have been your son."

There was a dull ache behind the Ninth's brow in response to his words. But the old man just put it down to his age.

* * *

"Kufufufufu~ Why Tsunayoshi, you are certainly resourceful."

"I wouldn't call this resourceful. We were just lucky that the baby Vindice let us out." Tsuna stated dryly.

Hayato still went pale at the mere mention of the Vindice. As did Lancia and Shamal. Shōichi was in dire need of some antacids, Takeshi was chatting cheerfully with Ken, one of Mukuro's friends (he didn't care that the older boy scoffed at the concept of friendship, he firmly believed that the Ken and Chikusa were Mukuro's friends) Chikusa, was watching Spanner type on his laptop with a blank expression.

They were all crammed into the back of another van they'd stolen (the last one had been trashed, nothing could survive Takeshi's driving skills after all). Tsuna had taken the wheel, whilst Mukuro had claimed the only other seat next to him.

Mukuro chuckled and glanced at the boy at the wheel. Certainly, when he'd first seen the boy he'd been under the impression that this fluff ball was as weak and frail as a rabbit. And very very stupid for trying to interfere with the Vindice for his _friends_.

Preposterous.

Obviously, that had been the wrong assumption.

Mukuro had been floating in his containment tank, talking to Chrome who had gone through some strange experiment that resulted in her visiting Hell (the illusionist had then channelled his flames through her to appear in front of the baby scientist and creep the heck out of him. Fortunately for the scientist, the process had been painless otherwise Mukuro would have made the illusions _far_ more mentally scarring), when _something_ made him jerk back into his own body and his eyes cracked open.

The little Vindice; the boss, as the illusionist had inferred when the baby-sized Vindice ordered around the others, was standing before his tank.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

At least until a fluffy haired child appeared in the room.

No, the boy did not burst into the room, he didn't run in, or stumble in or even use any physical openings as a means to access the place. He _appeared_ literally from thin air. He also had, for some reason, an extra pair of ears and tails. Rather cute, in Mukuro's opinion.

Orange glazed slit pupilled eyes instantly bore into Mukuro, as if trying to analyse him.

Now Mukuro is a very capable illusionist and if he could tell that this was no mere illusion than so could the Vindice boss.

The baby Vindice had frozen for a millisecond before a pair of chains darted out and wrapped around the brunet. **"What are you doing here?"** A cold commanding voice demanded, permeating -just barely- through Mukuro's tank for him to hear.

"I'm here to negotiate for Mukuro at the request of his friends." The brunet stated in a lilting tone, orange glazed honey brown eyes eyes shifting to focus directly on the baby.

**"You have nothing to offer."**

The brunet was silent for a moment, before lips quirked up in a rather devil-may-care grin. "I'm an information broker, and I have a very... _Unique_ method of gaining information. I can offer my services without charge. Surely a group of mafia police like having information." Tsuna's voice was almost teasing, despise the fact that he had never really sold information before. But between Shōichi and Spanner's hacking abilities, Fuuta's ranking ability and his own ability to talk to felines and ghosts, they did have a very good information pool.

Tsuna was being reckless, he already knew that, but for the life of him he couldn't let Mukuro stay locked up here. It wasn't very logical, of course, since the pineapple boy had been the very reason he and his friends had been captured by these... beings (were they even human?) but the thought of letting Mukuro be imprisoned made his head ache and his chest squeeze.

 **"And why would we want information from an inexperienced child like yourself?"** The baby Vindice asked, pronouncing each word with an almost palpable edge that promised Tsuna's death should he overstep his boundaries. The brunet suppressed a shudder of apprehension.

He had a part to play here, and he would play it because otherwise all that effort to escape would be for naught if he were to be captured; Tsuna understood his friends well enough to know they would come after him.

The brunet whipped out a large sheet of paper from his pocket. He managed unfolded it while still wrapped loosely in chains to reveal an elaborate blueprint. "You recognise this, right?"

Mukuro would have gaped had his mouth not been bound. Even the little Vindice had frozen.

Very detailed floor-plans of all the floors in Vendicare, stood on that single sheet.

 **"Where did you get that?"** The Vindice's tone was sharp.

The brunet squeaked as the chains tightened around him, but he still managed to offer a rather cheeky smile. "That's a trade secret."

**"I could just kill you and your companions. I am aware they're just outside."**

"Yes but we have made copies and could send them elsewhere at moments notice." The brunet said airily, barely pausing at the knowledge that the Vindice knew their location. Even Mukuro, the king of all bluffers, couldn't be sure if this boy was telling the truth or not.

**"... Why would you want to free this person whose sins are so great that he is a marked criminal even among the mafia? And do not tell me you are friends, you have never met him before we caught him."**

Again, the brunet's eyes bore into Mukuro's mismatched ones. "His friends begged me to free him, and, well, I'd like to give him a chance. I can't say anything for Lancia's family, but I don't think it was entirely his fault he eliminated the Estraneo." For a moment something dark fluttered across his expression before settling again.

The brunet made his way closer to the illusionist, or as close he could get with chains wrapped around him, a gentle smile overtook his features. "So what do you say, Mukuro-san, will you be friends with me?"

Obviously his pawns had revealed too much information to this boy. Mukuro would have sneered had his mouth been unbound, what right did this child have to try and negotiate for him on the basis of something as superficial as _friendship_? But the illusionist quickly schooled his features. If this gave him the opportunity to escape then he would take it. Besides 'friends', in his mind, were made to be pawns.

Mukuro's eyes narrowed as the boy directed a rather contemplative expression at him, as if the boy just read his thoughts, but the brunet turned back to the baby and tilted his head.

The baby nodded. **"As long as Mukuro Rokudō stays in your custody, then very well. But if he were to escape your charge... you _and_ your friends will pay the consequences."**

The brunet suppressed a shiver as he sent one last contemplative glance at Mukuro. He nodded.

"I'm willing to trust him."

* * *

Back to the present. Tsuna was just relieved they'd all gotten out in one piece. Shōichi and Spanner's inventions had been a great help, like the communication devices they had sewn into their clothes (a joint effort between him and Spanner) and the tiny surveillance devices that could access anywhere without issue and emit EM waves to give a three dimensional model of rooms and layouts and anyone moving inside.

They even put the fake passports to use (apparently Shōichi got them made by one of his clients). Tsuna swapped them with their original ones when he went to fetch their weapons since the fakes had proxy addresses and not their actual ones; he wouldn't want those scary spectres appearing at his door.

Tsuna was discussing their missed chance to meet Shōichi's idol (the meeting had been scheduled for yesterday).

"We could still go."

"No, he said he would only allow that time and that he would be too busy otherwise." The disappointment was clear in the redhead's voice.

Tsuna pouted as he changed lanes. "How about online correspondence, at least to send him some of your research."

Shōichi blushed and fidgeted, "I guess I could try..."

"He tried before," Spanner inputed. "It didn't go over well."

Tsuna turned back to stare at Spanner in incredulity. "How could it not? It's _Shōichi's_ research!"

The redhead's blush became the same shade as his hair at the implied praise. "I-it's not that! H-he was just busy, that's all!"

"Why that _proud, self-centred-"_ Tsuna trailed off, mumbling in German, feeling rather offended for his friend as he narrowly avoided a truck.

"Oya oya, then may I ask where we're going now?" Mukuro's heterochromatic eyes looked amused.

Takeshi was the one who answered with a wide grin, "Germany, for Tsuna's book thing, right?"

Tsuna nodded with a sweet smile directed the illusionist's way. "Sorry, I hope you don't mind."

"Oh course not my _dear_ Tsunayoshi, kufufufufu."

Tsuna shuddered, though he'd followed his gut and released Mukuro, he also had a feeling that the pineapple boy's addition to their team would be nothing less than a disaster.

Lambo, ten years in the future, whole heartedly agreed with him as the teen ran from another on-slew of nightmares. "I didn't mean to spill yellow paint on you, pineapple-head!"

* * *

**"Bermuda-sama why did you let them go? We could have caught the others who escaped and used them to threaten that boy."**

**"We could not have kept that boy here even if we wanted to,"** Bermuda replied cryptically.

**"And his flames are untapped and strong, there's no doubt _that man_ will be interested when the time comes."**

* * *

** EXTRA **

**'** _Ring! Ring!'_

The blond head of CEDEF waited impatiently for the number he got from Nana to be picked up. Apparently his son had gone for a short adventure and wasn't home right now but this number was for his mobile. (When did he little Tsu-kun get a phone?)

_*Click* "Ci-"_

"Tsu-kun?!" Iemitsu exclaimed immediately before the voice on the other end could even answer him.

_"... Dad?"_

Iemitsu tried not to melt from relief. "Where are you right now?! You shouldn't leave your mother alone like that!"

There was a moment of silence and a mutter that sounded suspiciously like 'mum isn't alone' before the voice came back. _"I'm out with my friends!"_

 _"Haha, hi Tsuna's dad!"_ A youthful voice came over the speaker.

 _"Kufufufufu, we'll take_ good _care of your son."_ Came another, much creepier sounding voice.

Iemitsu, overprotective-father mode kicking into gear, paled considerably and yelled, "get away from them Tsu-kun! Papa will come fetch you!"

An exasperated sigh. _"Dad, these are my friends, don't insult them. And we're fine, goodbye."_

The blond man spent several long seconds staring blankly into the air as the disconnected tone rung in his ears. Then he stood up, so abruptly he startled Tumeric who was walking by, flung his arms up and started sobbing loudly.

"MY SON IS IN HIS REBELLIOUS STAGE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note on Hell: Muku possesses the Six paths of Reincarnation. It doesn't refer to there being six levels in hell (I think). In fact, the first path is the The Realm of Hell which is where Tsuna and Chrome were sent. The sixth path is actually The Realm of Heavens. (Wiki)


	16. Chapter 16

The crowd was enormous in the convention centre.

Ken slapped his hands over his sensitive ears as some girls, and some guys, squealed right beside him. "They're so loud byon." He shifted closer to Lancia who stood, stoic, with his arms folded and glowering at anyone who moved too close. The crowd parted around him, leaving a nice pocket of empty space for their group to stand in. Shamal had wondered off in the large crowd, much to Hayato's ire.

"It's still hard to believe that so many are here to see Tsunayoshi even though none of them even knows what he looks like," Chikusa commented as he pushed up his glasses, sending a blank glance at the table with the longest line of people. A short person wearing a paper bag with a face scribbled on it sat at the table, diligently signing his fans books. His table was surrounded by burly bodyguards.

"It's for a book, most people don't care what an author looks like, just how they write," Spanner commented.

They stood to the side of the convention centre. There were a few other booths for entertainment and advertisements on Tsuna's third book and apparently, the movie they were going to make based on the first one. The crowd, however, were all aiming for Tsuna. There were even a few news crews and what looked like journalists as well as a good number of fans and, judging from skin colour, hair and language they spoke, they came from all over the world.

 _"Do you know how rare this opportunity is? Seil has never appeared in public! I'm hoping for an interview."_ A woman standing in line was talking to the man beside her in English.

"А-a, он выглядит таким маленьким и симпатичным! (Aww, he looks so small and cute!)" Another girl was gushing. Apparently, no matter what guise Tsuna put on he would forever be cute.

"I EXTREMELY want to know what happens next!"

 _That_ yell made Takeshi, Hayato, Shōichi and Spanner's heads turn.

They gaped at the very familiar looking face in line with a girl beside him.

"Ahaha, that guy looks a lot like Ryohei-senpai and Kyoko-chan from the other class, don't you think Hayato?" Takeshi asked.

The silveret gripped the baseball idiot's arm. "Let's just get out of here before they notice us-"

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS EXTREMELY DOING HERE?!"

They all winced as the crowd parted more around them at the sheer presence of Ryohei running up.

"Onii-san," Kyoko protested as she ran after him. She skidded to a stop to greet them with a bow.

"That's our question turf-top! What the fuck are you doing all the way here?! Can you even read?!"

"I can EXTREMELY READ!" Ryohei fumed. "My little sister showed me this EXTREMELY awesome series last year!"

Kyoko blushed. "We came with our parents for a break and it just so happens that Seil was signing here at the time..." She explained.

"Who are these people, TO THE EXTREME?!" Ryohei asked, turning to the unknown members of their crew.

"Kufufufufu, and who is this buffoon?" Mukuro chuckled ominously.

"This is Mukuro, Ken, Chikusa and Lancia," Takeshi introduced in good humour. "Tsuna picked them up," he explained.

"Oh, so you're part of the team too! My name is Sasagawa Ryohei! I EXTREMELY WELCOME YOU!" He offered a grin as bright as the sun and a hand to shake.

Mukuro eyed the hand in distaste, contemplating scaring this boy off with an illusion if it meant he could save his ears. Otherwise he would have to get earplugs like the others had put on.

Ryohei didn't seem to mind as he purposefully took Mukuro's hand and gave it a few good shakes before turning to Takeshi. "Where's my little bro anyway?!"

Hayato facepalmed. How could the boxer have missed Tsuna-sama working on his books? For that matter why was he always surrounded by idiots? Hayato had been initially amazed (and he still was) by the sheer amount of jobs Tsuna had, though it took some time for Hayato to discover all of them, the others hadn't particularly cared as long as the brunet was happy -or in Hibari's case, he just did not care.

"Hiieee!" Tsuna's scream distracted them all as the children and Lancia turned to find the crowd in a riot. Tsuna was in the hold of a red haired man who stood on Tsuna's signing table, the guards knocked to the ground around them. The red head scowled as the brunet flailed, his hands holding onto the paper bag on his head for fear of it falling off.

"Unhand Tsuna-sama at once!" Hayato yelled, he and the others trying to get through the panicked crowd. Lancia's taller figure was much better at moving as the man swiftly made his way there, but the man suddenly ignited red _flames_ out of his boots and flew.

He flicked the finger at them all as he busted out of the glass ceiling high overhead.

* * *

Sometimes, Tsuna just wanted to know why he always ended in these situations.

"O-ho, he's a rather cute little thing, isn't he." A rather effeminate man with pale green hair and teal green eyes was pinching Tsuna's cheeks. Tsuna couldn't stop him since he was currently tied with rope and he didn't want to reveal himself just yet when he didn't even know where he was and why he was kidnapped.

"Who the fuck cares, idjit. I just want to know why boss wants him." Tsuna's kidnapper lounged on a couch adjacent to the one Tsuna was sitting on.

So his kidnappers didn't even know. Bummer.

"Because he's cute, of course~" Three heads turned to the door where a very familiar white haired teen was walking in. "Good job, Zakuro, Kikyo."

Somehow the red head managed to preen and look disgruntled at the same time. "Kikyo didn't do anything!"

"O-ho? Wasn't I the one who found his location?" The green haired make asked with a distinct glint in his eye.

Byakuran left them to argue as he took Kikyo's place and stood in front of Tsuna. "Been a while, Tsuna-chan~"

Tsuna pouted, he really wanted to rub his sore cheeks. "Why did you kidnap me? For that matter, how did you know I was Seil?"

"Because there's a white haired antagonist in your book that I can't help but relate to, and then someone like Shō-chan appeared and of course it had to be you~" Bykauran explained. "As for why I kidnapped you..." The white haired leaned closer to Tsuna's face, so much so that the brunet could make out individual pale lashes surrounding lavender eyes. "Why don't you join me on my expedition to take over the world and gain the ultimate power, hm, Tsu-na-chan~?" He gave his slyest smile as he reached out to pinch a suddenly nervous Tsuna's cheeks.

A trident barely missed hacking off his nose as he leaned back.

"Oya oya," Mukuro purred from where he'd appeared right beside Tsuna, heterochromatic eyes narrowed on the white haired teen. "I'm afraid this little kitten will be helping _me_ destroy the mafia first."

Zakuro and Kikyo instantly had their weapons ready but Byakuran held up a hand to stop them.

The two most manipulative people in the world stared at each other for a long moment before each gave his own smirk.

"I don't care about the state of the world, I just want the ultimate power." Byakuran stated.

"Kufufufufu~ And I just want to see the mafia destroyed."

"Perhaps offering each other assistance wouldn't be a bad idea," they both said at the same time.

"No!" Tsuna yelled, standing up as his ropes fell to the floor (like hell Tsuna couldn't escape such simple binds after Colonnello and Fon's tutelage).

He pointed at Mukuro. "I know you hate the mafia because of what they've done but that doesn't mean you should take revenge on them! What happens if you achieve your goal, using your friends and everything you have, what will remain in the end?! And don't you dare tell me 'my smug self'." Tsuna tried a rather poor impersonation of Mukuro's narcissistic persona.

Mukuro looked rather stunned.

Then he pointed at Byakuran. "And you! What do you mean you don't care about the state of the world?! What's the point in becoming powerful if there's nothing left?! You won't even have your marshmallows at the end!"

Byakuran looked rather stricken by that thought.

"And I'm definitely not going to help you guys if those are your goals!" Tsuna grumped, folding his arms with a what he hoped was a glare.

Apparently it wasn't.

Byakuran and Mukuro shared a glance.

"Then how about we change our goals?" Byakuran suggested with a sly smirk.

"Kufufufufu, it seems we will be enemies then," Mukuro acquiesced.

"Don't interfere, you two," Byakuran ordered to Kikyo and Zakuro who looked like they wanted to argue.

"Um, what?" Tsuna blinked and he got the sudden impression of being a deer caught in headlights as the other two turned to him with matching sly, hungry, expressions.

"The goal will now be Tsunayoshi."

Tsuna gulped, he was doomed.

* * *

When Hayato and the others arrived, storming through the Gesso Famiglia base like a grenade against a piece of paper, the fight was still going. Horrifying illusions of the undead and gruesome plants decorated the halls as bursts of orange blew through the illusions.

"B-Byakuran-san?!" Shōichi exclaimed upon seeing the white haired boy he'd met at his first invention award. He'd gotten many other awards and his stage fright had lessened since.

"Mukuro-sama!" Both Chukusa and Ken yelled.

The two stopped fighting for a moment to turn to the newcomers. Mukuro's trident had gone through one of Byakuran's arms while a rather nasty burn was now prominent on the illusionist's side.

"What did you do to Tsuna-sama, you bastards?!" Hayato demanded as Takeshi gave one of his scarier grins, his hand on his sword. Ryohei had stayed in Germany as he needed to take care of his sister.

That question made them both pause for a few seconds as the walls crumbled and rubble built up.

"...Oya oya, it seems we've lost the kitten."

"What?!" Hayato yelled, looking around wildly. "Tsuna-sama!" He ran to a fallen concrete slab to check if his Tsuna-sama had been buried under.

They then began a thorough search through the broken down mansion, Byakuran's subordinates helping them.

It was evening and they'd found nothing aside from Tsuna's phone and broken earring (which was what they'd tracked to get there in the first place) and the tension was building. Hayato was yelling angrily at Mukuro, who looked, strangely enough, just as pissed off rather than his default confident assured self. Byakuran's smiles were growing steadily sharper and more threatening as time ticked by, sending some of his subordinates scrambling, the others almost fainting. The 'tap tap' sound of Takeshi's sword against his shoulder was growing increasingly faster, his grip tightening against the hilt as Lancia preserved and continued to look for the boy who'd gone out of his way to save him. The doctor, for once, didn't flirt with the maids as he sat down and started fiddling with stray metal pieces and wires. Ken and Chikusa weren't much better off, Ken trying to use his sharper animal senses to find Tsuna as Chikusa made sure he didn't get distracted by other scents or noises.

Suddenly, Ken, in his wolf form, caught a familiar scent and he bounded _outside_ the mansion.

"Whoa, Ken?! Ahahaha that tickles!"

The familiar voice instantly drew the others outside. Tsuna lay on the ground, awkwardly holding a large box up as Ken licked him, tail wagging like crazy.

Catching sight of them, Tsuna smiled cheerfully. "Did you stop fighting? I bought cake!"

It took some moments before they managed to overcome their stupor.

"Kufufufu, now where did you go, Tsunayoshi?" Mukuro's voice was a dark hiss.

Shōichi and Spanner sighed. They thought this was what happened. Sometimes, when Tsuna couldn't stand all the fighting anymore, he would go away and have sweets until he decided to come back. Though this usually only happened when the property being damaged wasn't his.

"I told you guys to stop fighting, but you wouldn't listen!" Tsuna was explaining. "So it was either stop you guys physically or go out and come back when you're done."

"So you went off to buy cake." Mukuro deadpanned.

"Actually, I ran into a nice lady with fuchsia coloured hair who was baking cakes to sell. I ended up helping her." Tsuna smiled as he gestured to the box. "She taught me one of her secret recipes as thanks!"

They peered into the box. An elaborately decorated cake, swathed in delicate swirls of cream and fresh berries, stared back at them.

"Kufufufu you had better hope this cake is good, Tsunayoshi."

"Tsuna's cooking is the best!" Takeshi said with an eager grin.

They traipsed back into the mansion, settled into one of the less damaged rooms and dug into the cake.

Instantaneous _bliss_.

"Oh my god, my tastebuds are dancing, byon."

The others were too busy eating to comment.

Tsuna looked rather happy that everyone was sitting around eating and _not_ fighting for once.

And it was all fine and dandy until Tsuna left for a moment to use the restroom. He came back to find everyone collapsed on the ground except Hayato who was hanging onto the table with a trembling grip, sweating profusely.

"W-what happened?!" Tsuna exclaimed, running to the silver head.

"T-Tsuna-sama," Hayato gasped. "T-that woman, she wouldn't be called B-Bianchi, would she?"

"Uh, yes that's her name."

Hayato stared at his Tsuna-sama, whose cooking was the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted, now it was entwined with his half-sister's poison cooking technique which was perhaps the most deadly combination ever, since no one could tell it was poison cooking until the effects kicked in.

He fainted on the spot.

"Hiieee, Hayato?!"

* * *

Since Tsuna managed to incapacitate his friends, he was forced to take over Byakuran's job as...

"He's a _what_ boss?!" Tsuna screeched.

"Mafia, idjit." Zakuro scoffed.

"I don't want to be a mafia boss!"

"It's just a temporary position for incapacitating our boss, o-ho."

Tsuna sighed at the rather threatening stares he received before he opened the elaborate doors to what he guessed was Byakuran's office.

He was instantly buried under an avalanche of papers.

When he managed to get out he sent both the adults A Look.

Kikyo shrugged. "Does our Byakuran-sama look like someone who does paperwork?"

Tsuna settled for an extremely tedious few days until his friends recovered.

Being a mafia boss was apparently very similar to acting as CEO of a large company. Tsuna could almost believe everything was normal as long as he ignored the fact that weapons and firearms were among the list of expenses and that a suspicious amount of generous 'donations' were part of the revenue. It also helped that he was rather experienced at fixing up his friends damages too since Mukuro and Byakuran's fight had managed to destroy half the mansion.

That didn't stop him from inwardly cursing paperwork to hell and back.

(Literally, he was contemplating visiting and dumping all this work into the deepest pits of hell. But then that wouldn't be professional of him.)

* * *

Speaking of hell, Tsuna discovered he and Chrome went back when they were asleep. And that there really was a job for them to do when down there.

"So we have to, um, sentence that man to the appropriate punishment for his sins?"

Tsuna glanced at the person sitting in the centre of the gaudily decorated courtroom (he really had to redesign this place, floor to ceiling length tapestries depicting demons devouring humans was seriously centuries ago).

"Yes, Tsunayoshi-sama." The demon helping them had a large hairy face, and tiny bat-like wings on his back.

Tsuna shared a glance with Chrome before they both looked at the list of punishments.

Chrome's one eye blinked. "Um... 'Boil in a pot'?"

Tsuna followed her example. "'Evisceration'?"

The demon nodded, grinning to reveal mouth full of razor sharp teeth while the human in the centre of the room paled. "Yes, aren't they divine punishments?"

Chrome almost looked at the demon in pity. "...these are really, really, outdated."

Tsuna shuffled around until he found the person's file (he always knew Hell would be full of paperwork). "He's killed two people and raped another." Tsuna grimaced before adding, "I'm sure there are other punishments aside from eternal physical harm we can come up with." Souls, human or otherwise, couldn't really die after all.

"Mukuro-sama always said the best harm is one that's mentally scarring," Chrome added lightly.

The demon actually took a step back as the two children looked up at him.

The human in the centre gulped audibly and broke out in cold sweat -if souls could sweat- as a glowing orange gaze and another single indigo one focused on him contemplatively.

* * *

They eventually made it back to Japan in one piece. ("Can't we ever come back home legally?!" "Calm down Tsuna. It's just a submarine this time.") After getting over the food poisoning, of course. (Tsuna got a few horrifying nightmares courtesy of one pineapple haired illusionist and some rather terrifying experiences while he was _awake_ courtesy of a marshmallow addict) Shamal was the first to overcome the constant bouts of indigestion (pretty much at the time he regained consciousness) and proceeded to watch Tsuna with a shrewd eye while he was casually flirting with one of the cooks.

They also had another person join their little group. A red-haired girl of about Fuuta's age named Mami.

This was due to one incident that involved breaking into a mansion, accidentally of course. It was all because of Mukuro, who agreed on removing his possession mark off Lancia given that he had the right equipment. He had pointed at the mansion they just happened to be passing in Germany and suggested they may find the right equipment there.

Takeshi seemed rather taken by the task and went up to press the buzzer at the gate, Tsuna followed, still twitchy about losing his sight of friends -both because of the Vindice and because the last time he lost sight of them, they got into a fight of epic proportions in the middle of a public market place.

When no one answered, they shrugged and were about to turn back but then...

"THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE TSUNA-SAMA DO THAT YOU PERVERTED PINEAPPLE!" Hayato was yelling as he ran after Mukuro who was making his way towards them.

"Kufufufufu, I'm sure even the puppy has thought of such things."

"I-I HAVE NOT!"

"Hayato! Mukuro! Stop or you're going to-"

BOOOM!

Tsuna winced and covered his head as the gate blew up, along with most of the extensive front lawn. Mukuro continued to tease Hayato, and they went further and further into the frankly private property.

"Well, it's now open to us so we may as well go in," Chikusa said as he sauntered past.

Ken bounced after him as Lancia stopped next to Tsuna and Takeshi, Shamal was shaking his head ruefully (the doctor had quickly became adjusted to the fact that Hayato's friends -who would have thought that brat could make friends?- were far from normal, as if the Vindice stunt wasn't enough to justify it). He'd become interested enough, in both Tsuna's constitution and the two inventors' research, to continue tagging along. He still had to rebuild his delicate mosquitoes since Frederico had managed to destroy them, it wasn't like he was here to keep watch over a bunch of brats. Okay?

Tsuna peered up at the Lancia, whose profile was thrown into the dark by the sun behind him. "You don't mind, do you?"

"You are doing this for my sake, the least I can do is offer my vows to you."

"Ah, another one," said Spanner as the blond swung an arm around Tsuna and pointed a superior finger at Lancia, never mind the fact that they were half his size. "You should get this right. I got Tsuna first, so I get the bed."

Tsuna flushed and pushed the blond's arm off. "What are you saying?!"

"I've always wanted to play the part of the oppressive villain," Spanner explained with a nonchalant shrug.

"But then that would make me the pitiful victim and Lancia the hero..." Tsuna said, whipping out a notebook and scribbling on it. "And if we make the setting one where the villain has complete control of the victim's life and the hero comes and frees him from the villain's hold, ah, and make it a twist where the victim goes back to the villain in the end..." He looked up at Shōichi. "Do you think I could write this into a short story?"

Shōichi gave him a dry look. "Tsuna-san, we're currently breaking into an unknown mansion."

"That would make a good setting..."

"Hey, Tsuna include me too!" Takeshi suggested.

"You can be the maid who helps the victim," Tsuna delegated.

"Haha, great!"

"That's one boy-ish maid," Lancia muttered, leaning over Tsuna to see what he was writing.

Shōichi face-palmed. There was a time and place for flicking Tsuna's author switch and now was certainly not it.

Eventually, they caught up to Chikusa and Ken to discover that Hayato and Mukuro had blown a hole about the size of a boulder in one side of the mansion, laving a yawning black hole.

Tsuna was starting feel edgy about going in; the place didn't give a good vibe at all.

And he could see no sign, nor hear the fight coming from the duo who had disappeared.

"Don't split up," Tsuna warned as he stepped through the hole.

He and Takeshi visibly gagged as the copper scent of blood instantly assaulted them, Shōichi turned an interesting shade of green whilst Spanner lifted a sleeve to his nose. Chikusa and Ken grimaced while Lancia's eyes sharpened.

Tsuna grabbed Spanner's arm, trying and failing to breath through his mouth because the metallic tang of blood seemed to seep into every sense he had. Panic threatening to well up his throat and spill out in a scream. Bodies, mutilated and torn, were strewn about the room like rag dolls. Blood, a few hours old, stained the elaborate rug in the centre of the room, and was sticky and almost black against the marble floors.

None of them said anything as Shōichi ran back out and the sound of him emptying his stomach's contents reached them.

Tsuna was no stranger to wounds, bleeding or otherwise, but he had no idea anyone could display such an obvious disregard to human life like this. Whoever caused this must have been mad.

"Hayato!" Takeshi yelled, his pallor paled in stark contrast against his tanned skin.

"Mukuro-sama?" Ken called, his usually rough voice concerned.

Tsuna said nothing, loosening the grip he had on Spanner as he tilted his head. There was something here...

"Tsuna!" A grip on his arm jerked him back. Spanner's eyes, uncharacteristically wide and worried peering at him. Tsuna blinked, he had taken a step further into the room, his shoe stuck in a dark puddle of blood. But he paid this no heed because that urge was still calling to him...

Honey brown eyes zoomed in on the oak wardrobe further into what must have previously been a lively cosy living room.

Before he knew it, he'd sprinted past the bodies, shoes squelching sickeningly against the thick rug as he stopped in front of the wardrobe.

He did his best to ignore the severed arm that lay in front of it as he focused entirely on taking hold of the gold handles and pulling them open.

The doors gave little resistance, a gust of air lifting his bangs as his honey brown eyes landed on the person who had called out to him.

Tousled hair the same shade as the blood spilled on the ground, strange, compass shaped pupils, set on a baby face blinked back at him fearfully. It was a little girl, probably around Fuuta's age. She flinched and scrambled back as Tsuna bent down to be on eye level.

It took a bit of time, but Tsuna managed to coax the girl into his arms and out of the house where Shamal could take a look at her. (Hayato would say the brunet could coax even a mule to come to him.)

Ken, Chikusa, Lanchia and Shamal had been baffled at the fact that he knew where to find her while Takeshi had laughed and Spanner had shrugged and Shōichi offered a wobbly smile. For them, this was normal.

Hayato and Mukuro appeared again, glaring at each other, from further in the garden, sporting a good number of scrapes, burns and scratches. Apparently they hadn't entered the house at all, the hole in the side was made from one of Hayato's stray dynamites.

There was a moment of confusion as Mukuro handed some giant scythe he'd found from who-knew-where on this frankly creepy premises to Tsuna.

"Kufufufufu, I thought you wanted to free him from my hold, Tsunayoshi-kun?" The illusionist asked with a sly smirk and a gesture to the suddenly stiff Lancia.

Tsuna took the weapon gingerly. Mami tightened her grip on his pants and buried her face into his side but didn't move away. Tsuna hefted the weapon, it was surprisingly light despite its bulky size. It didn't take long for his intuition to kick in as Tsuna realised what it was made from.

Without a word, the brunet swung, slicing Lancia right down the centre.

"What the hell?!" Ken yelled.

All the others scrambled, but froze when they noted there was no wound on the man. The blade had passed right /through/ him. The man himself looked stunned but unharmed, and Mukuro flinched before starting to chuckle ominously.

Tsuna rested the massive blade against the ground, leaning against the handle as honey brown eyes blinked at the illusionist and Lancia. "How do you feel?"

Mukuro started laughing outright.

Lancia shifted, still stunned beyond words. "Free..." he muttered as he lifted ahand to his chest.

"What did you do Tsuna-sama?" Hayato asked, looking ready to either go right into worship mode or bomb Mukuro for being such a weird creep.

"I severed the bond Mukuro had on Lancia with this. It's made from the same stuff Mukuro uses for his illusions, except it's not his...?" Tsuna cocked his head, scrutinising the scythe next to him.

Mukuro looked ready to pitch a fit as he laughed louder.

Mukuro had expected the boy to, at the very least, be squeamish about what he would have to do to sever the link the illusionist had on Lancia but he hadn't even had the chance to build up to the explanation before Tsuna went right ahead and did it.

Mukuro swore on all six paths that this fluffy boy was a lot more interesting than all the mafia combined.

* * *

Mami never said a word, in fact, it looked like she couldn't talk anymore, and Tsuna didn't blame her, not with all the trauma she went through. They made do with pens and sketch pads and learning sign language. She was the calm type, seemingly, taking all of the boys' violence and brashness and Mukuro's general creepiness without a flinch. She also took all the weirdness very well, even when Tsuna got lost (again) and returned dressed as a judge (complete with white wig and black robes) yelling at Shōichi to hide him before he got mobbed by the authorities and dragged back to judge more court proceedings.

Tsuna was very thankful when they hit Japan territory on the submarine they'd stolen (he was still facepalming in exasperation).

He then bought a nice black armoured van -before any of his friends could decide to steal one too- which he, Shamal, Lancia, and Spanner took turns driving to Namimori.

They arrived home to a thankfully intact Namimori only to find posters of Tsuna in his fox mask and newsboy cap plastered all over town.

Tsuna took one look and paled before he disappeared to find the one most likely to be responsible for this new development.

He reappeared in Hibari's office. "What have you done?!" He demanded, too annoyed to remember to make his ears and tails disappear.

Hibari just smirked and held up a newspaper clipping. One sentence was highlighted.

_'Namimori middle's esteemed school principal has been, by popular vote, instated as the Mayor of Namimori.'_

Tsuna was shaking, with suppressed anger, exhaustion or general oh-my-god-what-have-you-done he wasn't even sure anymore. "Do I even want to know how many people you threatened to vote for me...?"

Hibari's smirk turned triumphant. "I did not even need to do anything, Fox, the herbivores were quite willing to vote for you themselves." Especially since Tsuna's work with the school in just one year was so phenomenal.

Tsuna folded his arms, eyeing the boy critically. "...then what did you make the last mayor do to get him kicked out of office?"

"That herbivore was taking _bribes_ ," Hibari emphasised. "All I did was discipline him. Kusakabe was the one to make sure it went public."

Tsuna tugged on his hair. "I don't need another job!" He exclaimed.

Hibari shrugged and stood up, an excited sheen entering his eyes as he exited his office with the words, "Omnivore, I'll take care of the disciplining."

Tsuna's eyes widened and he whipped around, finger pointed accusingly at the prefect's retreating back as he yelled, "don't kill anyone! Actually, take Kusakabe with you!" Kusakabe, though not a fighter, was one of the few who could reason with Hibari before he went too far.

* * *

Hibari didn't kill anyone, thankfully, but that was only because he met Mukuro.

Tsuna took one look at the damage they caused to now what was apparently _his_ town and then another at the still ongoing fight.

His mind went through several scenarios to stop them; there was only one that he knew would work on all his friends.

He jumped between the two fighting boys, a trident and tonfa scraping against him to leave a cut on one arm and a dark bruise on the other.

"Kufufufufu, Tsunayoshi what do you think-" Mukuro started.

"Omnivore-!" Hibari growled at the same time.

They were both stopped from any further speech as they caught sight of watery honey brown eyes and tear streaked and flushed chubby cheeks. Tsuna sniffled, rubbing an eye with the ball of one palm. "P-please stop fighting... for me?" Tsuna turned a watery hopeful smile on the two.

The sparkles got them good, just before Tsuna knocked them out with his taser gun.

And he couldn't help but feel that this wouldn't be the last time he would have to resort to such drastic measures.

* * *

A took few months for Mukuro and his gang to settle into the rooms above and below Tsuna's shopping centre. Lancia took Tsuna's offer to stay at his house, since he was so good with children, so that he could help Nana around the house and act as a bodyguard -even though Tsuna had not asked. Shamal took Tsuna's offer and opened his own clinic inside the shopping centre. The brunet never knew someone could accumulate _that_ many sexual harassment charges.

Mami got along well with Fuuta and the other younger kids, and I-pin was ecstatic to get another girl to play with. She seemed overwhelmed at first, but eventually got used to the cheer and general madness that was the Sawada household. It certainly helped, especially at school, when Shōichi and Spanner made a special cellphone for her, that could read what she wanted to say through a camera and would translate it on screen. Surprisingly, even Lambo was patient with her and played with her as much as he did anyone else. They also, regretfully for Tsuna, taught her to swamp their Tsuna-nii whenever he came home. Boy was he glad he had purchased a larger bed, there was no way he, Spanner, four other kids and a full grown _lion_ could have fit on his old single bed no matter how much they squished each other.

Tsuna turned his eyes skyward and asked whoever was up there why he was stuck with such stubborn people. But then one of the younger kids would run up, cheerfully showing off a good grade on their spelling test, or a picture they drew, or asking for a hug and a kiss, and he couldn't help but think he wouldn't trade his hectic life for the world.

That didn't mean he wasn't completely and utterly exasperated when it came to the many ensuing fights and property damage that just seemed to follow his friends like the plague -he _really_ should have enrolled Mukuro and his gang at the neighbouring middle school instead of Nami-chuu dammit, but then that would have meant explaining stuff like _why_ so people around Mukuro ended up in hospital in dire need of psychiatric treatment. At least at Nami-chuu, Fran's presence and those of his friends and Hibari had numbed most of the student body to the effects of illusions and out of the world events enough so that Mukuro's mere presence wouldn't scar them for life.

Mukuro, for some reason, took one look at Fran and proclaimed himself as his master. Fran took this as sarcastically as possible which annoyed the hell out of Mukuro and they entered a cat and mouse chase that went all over campus, spouting multitudes of horrific illusions until Tsuna set up a trap he'd learned from Colonnello, caught them in a net and threatened to feed them Chikusa's cooking (which was made Takeshi's driving look majestic in comparison).

As for his role as an information broker, the Vindice visited when he was alone -usually- in all their dark glory, and left him with assignments. The assignments usually pertained to investigating mafia families, so Tsuna had to choose another disguise to wear for the role and take on a different name. They weren't too bad, especially since so many people stored information online. But there were times when he had to go personally... let him repeat, it was _not_ his fault the Carcassa famiglia fell. He only got a little pissed off at the way the american mafia family were treating the stunt-baby he met, he didn't mean to start the little blaze in their headquarters and hand Shōichi the details to their bank accounts, really.

Anyway, the general public often used to wonder if the students and staff were even normal to accept having a principal that looked like a grade school student wearing a fox mask. And then they ended up accepting it themselves and eventually ended up voting for that child as their mayor. In that way the citizens of Namimori were unique. But what made Namimori truly unique within a few months, would be due to the combined presence of two rather talented inventors and the world's greatest scientist.

It started with a single email.

Tsuna's phone beeped with a notification at around 2 in the morning. He was still awake, playing an online game in a team with Shōichi, Spanner and Fran (who was surprisingly adept at games).

He unlocked his phone and blinked at the rather excited massages he got from Shōichi. It was all in capslock. After scrolling through about 20 keyboard mashed messages he finally got to the main one:

' _VERDE! VERDE SAYS HE'S COMING TO US! OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! PUNCH ME- NO DON'T DO THAT YOUR PUNCHES HURT- PINCH ME I HAVE TO BE DREAMING!'_

 _'Well, you just got your head sliced off by Behemoth and left us stranded without a healer.'_ Tsuna sent back.

"What's up?" Spanner asked from where he was playing beside Tsuna in their room. Lambo I-pin, Fuuta and Mami were fast asleep on Tsuna's bed with Natsu curled around them, as per usual (sometimes he wondered if they even used the room that was given to them). Tsuna flashed the message at Spanner and returned to tapping on his keyboard to cover in-game Fran who was casting a spell.

He took the phone back and smiled.

_'Oops, sorry.'_

_'It's okay, we'll be fine. Oh, and congratulations, you can finally meet your idol.'_

Tsuna probably should have used his information gathering skills to find out more about Verde first before letting him come over. Well he certainly learned his lesson when the haughty green haired baby ended up on his doorstep, took one look at the various labs Tsuna, Shōichi and Spanner had set up and their research, and suggested that he would consider staying.

When he found out that he could access animals not normally accessible, and then Tsuna's own unique abilities well... Let's just say Tsuna now had a perpetual fear of scalpels coming at him, especially with Verde all but stalking him all the time.

Then he found out just how mad a scientist Verde was.

"W-what is that?" Tsuna asked nervously at the covered gurney that was being rolled past by a robot, Verde was sitting on the railing with a clipboard.

"Why, it looks like a dead body," Mukuro commented in amusement from beside him.

Tsuna paled.

"My contacts at a hospital informed me of a patient whose guardians have decided there was no need for life support anymore. It was such a waste of human specimen so of course I took the patient for my research," Verde explained, pushing up his glasses with his small hands.

Tsuna flung off the covers, coming face to face with a very familiar pale girl about his age with purple hair and bandages wrapped all around her. "Chrome?!" There was also a small crocodile beside her.

Verde shrugged. "Unfortunately, it seems an illusionist has supplied her with the organs she needed, so she has been acting as my assistant for the past few months."

Chrome's one uncovered eye blinked open, as deep violet as they appeared to Tsuna when he saw her in hell.

She sat up, tilting her head to the side. "Tsuna-san? Mukuro-sama?"

"Kufufufufu, you never told me you knew Tsunayoshi."

The girl blinked once before holding up her hand to show off a tattoo on her wrist that read 'demon king' (魔王).

Tsuna who was patting the crocodile, also flipped over his hand to show off the same marking on his wrist.

"We co-rule Hell."

Tsuna felt rather indignant of the looks they got from _both_ Verde and Mukuro. He and Chrome were sane thank you very much, having their mental stability questioned by people who were considered less than sane was rather insulting.

Verde seemed to think it was best to brush aside the fact that Hell existed -for now- and instead addressed the illusionist. "So you're the one creating illusionary organs to replace the ones my specimen has lost. How long can you maintain that?"

Mukuro quirked one superior brow. "Are you questioning me and my abilities?"

"Hm, I know your reputation Mukuro Rokudo, and I must say it is interesting to find a reputable criminal such as yourself associating with civilians," Verde stated.

Mukuro smirked, understanding the question even though none had been asked. "Are you saying that these 'civilians' are not interesting?"

Verde blinked. Here, in this supposedly quiet town, he'd found a treasure trove of knowledge and curiosities, Irie Shōichi and Spanner's work was fascinating and Verde found himself actually enjoying engaging in conversation with them and Gokudera Hayato, not to mention the presence of the well sought after doctor, Shamal. Despite their youth, they were very knowledgeable and when they did not understand a new concept, they easily caught up with Verde's intellectual explanations. The range of experiments Verde could conduct, from microbiology to robotics, was vast in the fully equipped labs (some of that equipment cost thousands, of not millions of dollars) and if Verde found one was damaged, it was replaced the next day. ("I'm not risking you guys blowing stuff up due to faulty equipment," one Tsunayoshi Sawada had explained. Maybe he could ask for a hadron collider next time.) There was plenty of room compared to Verde's own lab and his height wasn't much of a problem with his robotic chair.

Then there were the people and animals, Verde detested idiots, yet when it came to some of these children who were clearly idiots, even he found himself curious about how potent their flames were. So far only Mukuro and Fran had full access to their flames but then mists types were always like that, Sasagawa Ryohei emitted sun flames unconsciously, Irie Shōichi let out faint sparkles at times, Bovino Lambo drew lightning when he threw a tantrum, whilst Spanner sometimes found motors and electrical devices starting on their own around him, many of the children showed hints of flames and Verde already found himself drawing up files for each of them.

And don't get him started on Sawada Tsunayoshi. On top of the boy's apparent ability to turn into some cat-human (Verde already hypothesised unconscious control of mist flames) and teleport (he was still looking into that one), he had perhaps the purest and most potent sky flames Verde hadn't seen since Luce. If Verde could bottle that flame up he could perhaps draw as many strange people as this boy did, like moths to flame.

"No, this town is certainly interesting," Verde replied with a smirk. He couldn't wait to get started on his next project, Irie and Spanner and he had already finished the theory and brainstorming part, they just needed the practical application.

Mukuro smirked then turned to his pet who he'd finally met, only to find her and Tsuna gone. "Oya oya..."

Meanwhile Tsuna was introducing the Chrome to her new home, giving her tour of the shopping centre and a quick run-down of a few of his roles. "It's a bit unruly but you can ask any of us if you need anything. And don't let Mukuro bully you into doing anything you don't want."

"Of course Bossu." The girl had been quick to pick up who was in charge of this joint.

Tsuna froze and then turned with a strained smile. "Tsuna is just fine, really. We are ruling together." Internally, he was screaming, _'I don't need another nickname!'_

"Bossu," Chrome said again, one purple eye blinking back without remorse.

Tsuba sighed and shook his head, turning his eyes skyward he asked, "why do I even bother?"

Then he turned back to the girl and invited her to have the cake he baked the night before.

* * *

"Na...tsu...?" Tsuna stared at the rather small animal that emerged from the box he'd been urged to open when he came to demand where his beloved lion had gone.

"Gao~!"

This creature looked like a miniature lion, with a flame-like mane and blazing orange eyes. It leapt on Tsuna, rubbing against his face and purring in a way that pretty much said how happy it was to see him.

"Fascinating, so it _is_ possible to convert living animals into box animals.

Tsuna turned to give both his friends and the scientist a glare. "So this is the... Big Project you guys have been working on non-stop for the last month?"

"It's not just Natsu," Spanner commented. "We had to do a lot of test runs."

Then Tsuna got a look at the other animals who had been... Converted, if that was the right term. "Why is it only Uri and Natsu have been miniaturised?!" The other animals looked about the same only with extra flame. Even the owl Chrome had picked up appeared the same, just with a red eye like Mukuro's.

Verde's eyes were sparked with interest. "We are still trying to work that out. If it were possible I would like to perform an 'operation'-"

Tsuna grabbed his now cat-sized lion and hugged it close. "No, you can't cut open Natsu!"

"Gao!"

"Tsuna-sama! I need you to confirm these reports-" Hayato ran in and screeched to a stop when he caught sight of all the flame animals. In that instance Uri was on him, scratching at his face.

"Gah you stupid cat! How dare you-!" and he began to swear in Italian.

"The owner intuitively knows which animal is theirs even if their appearance has changed," Verde noted.

"Tsuna-san, do you want to see the others?" Shōichi asked.

Tsuna's eyes widened. "There are others?!"

They left Hayato to deal with his cat and the other pets as they headed for one of the other rooms.

"Yeah, like I said, lots of test runs," Spanner said. "These ones weren't locked up since they're pretty tame but the ones we took from the petting zoo or caught, or Verde got from somewhere were a bit more wilder."

"It seems flames give animals a certain amount of intelligence but not as much as those who are owned by potent flame holders," Verde explained.

Tsuna was just about to ask what 'potent flame holders' were when the door to the zoology lab opened...

To reveal empty cages and a single red flamed monkey waving a set of keys at them tauntingly.

"Uh-oh."

Tsuna could feel a migraine coming on.

Uh-oh indeed.

* * *

Unfortunately catching so many flame animals (or box animals, the scientists still weren't sure what to call them) was an impossible task -especially when the lightning rabbits multiplied- so Tsuna just settled for asking Mukuro, Chrome and Fran to seal off Namimori with illusions before the animals could get out to affect the native fauna of Japan.

Apparently sealing Namimori off meant free reign with experiments for his geeky friends without competitive eyes looking on them. And they did it in a way that even Tsuna didn't realise until it was much too late.

In fact, he was petting a robot-cat while asking a new janitor, who also happened to be a robot, how he was finding the job.

It wasn't like they were covered in fur or skin, they were all shiny metal plating and glowing LED eyes.

Perhaps it was because he lived with Spanner's robots that he didn't realise that so many were living among the animals and humans of Namimori now.

And when he did realise, he just shook his head in resignation and asked his illusionist friends if they could up the barrier around Namimori.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mami is not an OC. Though I guess she kinda is since I gave her this particular personality.
> 
> *А-a, он выглядит таким маленьким и симпатичным! (Aww, he looks so small and cute!) Translation thanks to 'A River Witch' and 'Eovin' from FFN.


	17. Chapter 17

It was around this time that another year had passed and Hayato, Takeshi, Chrome, Ken and Tsuna entered Nami-chuu.

They barely even stepped on the grounds before they were accosted by Ryohei and Kangaryuu to join the boxing club.

Which, of course, started a fight between Ken, Hayato and Ryohei.

And then the ground opened up beneath them and they were sent to the underground boxing ring.

A robotic bird, with a plated metal body and delicate wings set on a metal frame landed on Tsuna's shoulder, thin claws digging lightly into his uniform. "Would you like to place bets~?" It sung in an imitation of Hibird's voice (it really was Hibird's voice, Tsuna was with Spanner when the blond went around stalking Hibari's bird with a recorder).

"Sure! I bet Hayato will win!" Takeshi grinned and swung his arms behind his head.

"I would like to bet on Ken," Chrome said softly.

"If we consider that the kangaroo will be helping the boxer, then Ryohei would be more likely to win," Chikusa stated blandly as he pushed up his glasses.

"Please state amounts~" the bird sung.

Takeshi turned to Chrome and Chikusa. "Haha, are we going thousands or millions?"

Tsuna just looked at his friends in stricken horror. If he knew they were going to gamble, he wouldn't have paid them so much for helping him out on jobs.

He forgot to consider that it was his fault for not stopping Shōichi and Spanner for opening the gambling ring in the first place.

What a great way to start school.

Tsuna was still treated as he was in grade school (because no one aside from some of his friends actually knew he was the principal and mayor). Well, there was less singling out for humiliation purposes as Tsuna discouraged the practice among the teachers, and practically no bullies for some reason. His grades remained around the same too; excellent for English and art, okay-ish for science (it purely depended on content, Tsuna knew an absurd amount about plants and robots, but chemistry and physics was still a maze to his mind) and, as usual, barely passing for math.

* * *

The students really _really_ loved their principal. But Tsuna was sure this wasn't the kind of love principals really wanted...

One student, a rather huge fan, burst into his classroom during break to yell, "Kitsune-san fell asleep outside in the tree! You can see him from class 1C's window!"

Cue dozens of student's heads turning and many phones and cameras appearing in their hands as they all stampeded up to that particular classroom.

Tsuna was woken up to many sounds of cameras going off and cooing:

"Oh my gosh, there's a yellow bird snuggled up to him!"

"Ahh, he looks soo cute!"

"Aww, he's even drooling a little!"

The last line Tsuna recognised as the PE teacher, Toru-sensei's voice (don't let the name fool you, the sensei is a burly male). His eyes snapped open, and he fell of the tree in his surprise.

Landing on his feet ten metres below, Tsuna patted his face to make sure his mask was still there.

How did one see he was drooling when his mask was still there?

The same thing happened very often.

"Kitsune-san is helping in the hospitality class!"

Cue stampede of students and staff alike and an epic battle to get even one bite of his whipped lime pie. Since many of the students were ex-delinquents, they were quite successful in their battles in the underground ring. Tsuna sighed and gave the winners a slice after they were done. The next day he made cookies for those who missed out.

Tsuna really felt he was missing something when his popularity metre rocked up even more.

"Kitsune-san bought a dog to school!"

Once again, stampede, cameras flashing, and lots of hands coming out to pet the animal.

"It's a so fluffy!"

"Do you like dogs, Kitsune-san?"

"Aren't you a good dog?"

"Woof!" Jirou agreed.

Tsuna felt the need to say something, especially when many of those hands that came to pat the dog gave him a few pats. "Why are you patting me too?!"

The effect of that complaint just made them want to do it more.

It didn't take long for the news of Nami-chuu's principal's popularity with his students to spread across town, a whole stream of strange rumours accompanying it.

So when Tsuna became the mayor, he really should have expected the same effect to happen again.

"Oh my Kitsune-san, aren't you cute, coming out so early just to help Murasaki set up his new store? Here, have this." Tsuna got a bag of chestnuts on the house.

"Kitsune-san! Have a look at my new baby! I'm hoping he'll grow up to be just like you!" The baby latched onto Tsuna like a leech and refused to let go until he fell asleep. He got pudding as a gift after.

"Kitsune-san, have this!" A huge box of pastries were thrust into his hands by an office lady, Sakura-san, if Tsuna remembered correctly. "Wish me luck on my date tonight!"

"Kitsune-san, can I get a photo with you?!" A boy about eight, Hiro-kun, ran up eagerly with his parent it tow. Tsuna agreed, even though he took a photo with the boy just a week ago. The parent gave him a candy, just like the week before too.

And so this continued as Tsuna tried to make his way through the market area under his guise as the mayor.

When Tsuna stumbled out of the lift and into the top floor of his shopping centre, he was carrying a stack of stuff.

"I get the feeling these gifts have been changing over time..." He muttered as he slipped off the mask. The amount of sake offered was lessening, thankfully, he still had no idea what to do with so many bottles.

"Just reject them," Fran said from where he was already digging into a cake from one of the boxes.

Tsuna paled. The first time he'd tried, the gift giver had gone into a large episode of wailing, loudly, about how he must hate him and that he only wanted to give Kitsune-san an offering. Tsuna could only awkwardly accept in the end.

"I'm just wondering why they're all sweets..." Shōichi had come over to examine the new stack of gifts too. "You didn't happen to show yourself eating as Kitsune, did you, Tsuna-san?"

"Eh?" Tsuna tilted his head before smiling as he recalled one incident. "There was one time Hayato gave me a cake he made himself, I was so happy that I couldn't wait to try it! A student walked in though, so I had to put on my mask but really, a cake from Hayato! I love Hayato!"

The two present had to put on sunglasses as Tsuna spouted sparkles and flowers like no tomorrow.

"Tsuna-san... You say that every time any of us makes something for you."

"Of course I do! You made it for me!" Tsuna flashed a billion watt grin. "I'll love anything you guys make for me!"

Even if some of their gifts were a bit strange, like Fran's voodoo doll of Mukuro, or the little contraption made by Verde that shot burning laser beams.

Fran reached over to pat Tsuna on the head, and was rewarded by eager purrs from the boy.

Well, all these incidents just made Tsuna very relieved that no one could tell that Kitsune was Sawada Tsunayoshi; he certainly didn't need this sort of pampering in his personal life

* * *

So when new students entered Nami-chuu they could only look on incredulously as their seniors doted on their principal like nothing was wrong.

"Kitsune-san, aren't those heavy, would you like some help?" A tall girl asked casually as if she didn't mind helping out at all. Wasn't it more normal to skirt duties?

"Kitsune-san! Kitsune-san!" A boy with several scars on his face who truly looked like a delinquent ran eagerly up to the boy. "I gave the stapler back, just like you asked!" Everyone could see the tail-wagging eagerness behind the boy's demeanour. Tsuna patted him on the head, not even bothering to be disturbed by the pure happiness that crossed the teen's face since he was used to it by now (no, Hayato wasn't the only one responsible... For the most part).

You can't even see his face!" One new student, Mochida Kensuke hissed to his friend, Osamu.

"I know, right? Why is he so popular?"

"I heard that all the delinquents defer to him as the Banchō since he defeated the last one." Another friend joined in.

"Hah! No way! He's a pipsqueak!" Mochida yelled.

His friend grabbed him and pulled him down as a few students in the hall gave them looks. "Shh! Did you hear what happened to the last person who spoke badly about the principal?! They say, even now, he's in a psychiatric hospital screaming hysterics at the sight of pineapples!"

Mochida shook his head and shook the friend off. "Don't be ridiculous, those are just rumours."

If only they were, Mochida. If only they were.

It wasn't long before even Mochida got converted. (Good for him too because the alternative would have been much much worse.)

The principal burst into the kendo clubroom one rainy day, grabbed a _shinai_ and brought it around to block a tonfa belonging to the one and only formidable Hibari.

"Delete those photos now, _fox_ ," Hibari's low menacing growl sent even the kendo members scrambling,

The _shinai_ cracked under pressure.

Kitsune-san discarded it and threw some shuriken at the prefect instead as he leapt around, flipping over students and equipment alike almost as if suspended by strings. "Don't be unreasonable, most people can't even tell it's you." He blocked the next attack with a kunai, sparks flying as metal met metal.

The students didn't get to see more as the ground opened beneath the fighting duo and they were sent elsewhere. As usual, a small robot came after to ask if anyone wanted to make bets.

"H-he was fighting Hibari..."

"Our principal is a ninja?"

"What the hell? The ground just opened up!"

"W-wow," Mochida muttered from where his _shinai_ had been taken.

The awe among the first years were palpable as the seniors went about cleaning the mess, quite used to this scene too

* * *

Another thing Tsuna discovered upon governing a sealed off town, was the sheer amount of weirdos it attracted. Apparently, the more you tried to hide, the more some people were inclined to discover the secrets. Others were drawn for the pure reason that Namimori was off the radar now.

The illusion barrier didn't physically stop anyone from coming or going. It acted on the flame animals basic instincts to keep them from venturing out, and the robots never ventured out anyway. For people coming in, it just made things look normal, but if they stayed for a decent amount of time, the illusion would gradually wear off, by that point such abnormalities like robots everywhere and flame animals would be considered normal. It could, of course, deter people from entering if the illusionists felt like it.

So people weren't stopped from coming and going, though they were closely monitored by Shōichi and Spanner via the many robots.

The first suspicious person had been a nondescript looking Japanese man who resembled any company worker on a business trip. At least until he approached one of the robots a week into his stay, stared into the glassy eyes of the dog-robot and stated out loud,

"I want to see Koukitsu*."

Shōichi immediately paled and contacted Tsuna.

A few hours later, Tsuna stole into the man's room at the inn he was staying in. He hadn't even stepped into the room when he heard the click of the safety of a gun going off on the other side of the shoji doors.

"Who's there?"

"You said you wanted to see me."

Silence. Then the door was slid open, revealing the man in a yukata to Tsuna who wore a low hoodie and a traditional cat mask over his face.

" _You're_ Koukitsu?" The man asked incredulously, the gun had been lowered but the safety remained off. And as if he really couldn't believe it, he clarified, "The rumoured information broker who can find out anything as long as you can pay the price?"

Tsuna shrugged and smiled beneath his mask. "And you're Hideaki Mori-san, head of Japan's Public Security Intelligence, divorced, with two children, one in T University, another still in middle school…"

The man's mouth fell open.

"What can I do for you, Hideaki-san?"

The man quickly regained his composure and smirked. "You're good, for a little kid."

Tsuna bowed graciously. "I thank you."

"Fine," Mori went back to the table sitting in the centre of the room and placed his gun there after putting on the safety, he turned to Tsuna. "Let's get down to business…"

The man took out a file, opened it and turned it around for Koukitsu to look at.

Tsuna blinked, stiffening ever so slightly in recognition.

Mori's eyes narrowed, but he continued to speak, "I am trying to find this man." He tapped the little photo attached to one corner of the file. "His name is Owen Braun or Braun Owen in America. He is an ex-agent of the CIA that is suspected to be residing somewhere in Japan."

Koukitsu tilted his head, cat mask suddenly thrown into the light as Hideaki Mori had the sudden impression of being acutely analysed by sharp eyes. "Why are you trying to find him?"

"He is an ex-agent, even retired, people like him have the ability to cause great harm to this country." Mori offered as a reply.

Tsuna's eyes narrowed behind his mask.

Mori almost felt like squirming, he couldn't even see this child's face and yet he could feel his gaze like a physical weight, it rose goose bumps.

"... Very well. I'll look into it. Expect me in a week's time."

Mori's mouth opened, but Koukitsu was one step ahead.

"It doesn't matter where you are at the time, whether in this town or in another country, I can reach you."

Mori's mouth closed again, before a wry smile twisted the man's lips. "I see... You are very confident."

"I have the ability to be."

And the head of the PSI didn't know how true that statement was.

* * *

Tsuna stepped out of the room, gazing at the photo attached to the file, musing over how he should tackle this issue...

In the end, he wrote all his options on strips of paper, threw them into a hat, mixed them up, and picked one out.

The next day, when he went to pick up the papers he needed to deliver, the first thing he said to Brown-san was, "you know, Brown and Braun aren't really that different..."

The buff man stared at the child unblinkingly, then his lips twisted in a sardonic smirk, "not everyone can take to a new alias like you can, kid."

Tsuna smiled, slightly relieved, as he took the newspapers and dumped them into the basket, he wondered how many people who could insult him and still sound fond of him existed. (Lal was constantly calling him names too.) "A retired agent for the CIA, huh?"

Brown-san, previously known as Owen Braun, released a short bark of humourless laughter before shaking his head and ruffling Tsuna's unruly locks with one large hand. "Left that behind years ago. 'Sides, living life as a civilian is more rewarding than you think. And more interestin', since you took over, _Kitsune_." The gruff man winked. "What happened to the little pipsqueak who couldn't lift more'n five newspapers at a time?"

Tsuna flailed a bit at the hand rubbing into his head before staring up at the man in wonder. In all the years since he knew the man, he hadn't heard him say that much at one time. Brown-san was the stoic type, preferring grunts and short sentences to get what he wanted to say across, and right now? The man was teasing him.

"I could lift more than that!" He protested, though his smile betrayed him. There was no way he could sell out Brown-san.

* * *

Hideaki Mori, who had returned to headquarters to tend to an emergency, got the fright of his life when Koukitsu was suddenly beside him _mid_ - _mission_. The man had been on high alert, with a team of Japan's best around him, all fully armed, as they infiltrated the quarters of a particularly ruthless gang of Yakuza. Usually there was a tenuous but still present balance between the authorities and the underground, but the Shirukokai members had, according to their compiled information sources, killed too openly to be allowed continued authority over their territory.

So imagine their surprise when a little boy wearing a cat mask and an orange hoodie was suddenly standing among them.

In an instant, guns were pointed at the boy.

"Wha- How- " Mori spluttered before quickly composing himself. "This isn't the time, Koukitsu!" He hissed.

The others stiffened at the mention of the notorious information broker.

"What? I said I'd see you in a week."

Mori didn't have to check his watch to realise it was exactly one week since he'd given Koukitsu that request.

"This isn't the time- shit!" The man swore when he sensed movement in the periphery. The commotion had evidently given them away.

Koukitsu didn't seem worried when a barrage of unruly armed Yakuza appeared out the doors that led to the inner courtyard they were currently in. Mori could already hear his radio going off as the police in other locations around this compound asked him what the hell was going on.

"What are the authorities doing here?" One man, tall, wiry, with a number of scars to show his experience in this world asked commandingly as his oppressive aura filled every inch of the area. Mori recognised him as the head of the Shirokokai, Anko Kensei.

And he almost had a heart attack when Koukitsu was suddenly standing in front of the man, holding up a can of sweet red-bean soup with an innocent tilt to his head.

Mori would have spat out whatever was in his mouth if he'd been drinking, as it was he face-faulted. _Just_ _because they named themselves Shiruko (lit. red-bean soup) doesn't mean they like it!_

Apparently he was wrong. That oppressive aura faltered and the commanding head of the Shirukokai dissolved into grateful sobbing. "This is my favourite brand! It was discontinued two months ago! How did you get your hands on this?!" The man was asking in fervour as if he were a child reunited with his favourite toy.

Koukitsu had the gall the pat the man on the head in a 'good boy' gesture.

Mori could hear more than one of his men snort, trying to hold back from bursting into laughter.

"Ahem." An older man, resembling the head of the Shirukokai, interrupted, shrewd eyes on Mori and his gang. "Should we not address the presence of authorities on Shirokokai property?"

* * *

Mori, being the one in charge, was the one who had to sit stiffly in _seiza_ with the head of the Shirukokai and his father, the retired head. Koukitsu lounged on the tatami, playing with a cat he'd picked up from who-knows-where like he owned the place.

"So you're condemning us for murder?"

Mori glowered. "Yes, _multiple_ murders" he said through gritted teeth. He'd seen the pictures of the poor mutilated victims. "All evidence points to your gang."

Kensei's eyes narrowed, having reverted back to the calculative mind of a Yakuza boss. "None of my men would do that."

"Actually, you've been infiltrated," Koukitsu piped up, clearly having been listening to them. He sat up, the cat rubbing against him affectionately.

"That is a rather large accusation you are making, little boy," Kensei's father growled. Members were sworn into the family, to upset the family balance wasn't going to result in only a few fingers being severed.

"The Aimonokai infiltrated your lower ranks and used the Shirukokai name to tarnish your stable reputation." Koukitsu divulged matter-of-factly. "See, I have the evidence here." A folder was suddenly in the boy's hands, looking comically large in the hands of a child, he slipped out a large blurred CCTV photograph of some men, who had the Shirukokai written boldly on their jackets ganging up on some poor homeless man. Honourable Yakuza didn't gang up on people like common thugs.

There was a stunned silence.

Then Kensei turned to Mori. "I don't know why you brought your kid along, but he's good."

Mori spluttered. "Why the hell would I let a child come on a mission?!"

"Then who is this?" Kensei pointed to Koukitsu.

Mori wanted to bash his head against the wall. "This is Koukitsu," after a pause. "-san."

Kensei and his father were quiet for a moment as they digested the fact that the notorious information broker whose name was quickly gaining infamy in the underground was for all intents and purposes, _a little kid with a cat mask_.

"The fuck?! No way!" Came an exclamation from outside the doors.

The head of Public Security Intelligence and the Shirokokai both sighed at the same time at the obvious eavesdroppers among their men.

The door slid open with a bang open. One particularly bold yakuza charging in and waving a gun at the little boy.

"There's no way some little brat like this can be trusted Kensei-sama!" The man yelled and immediately regretted his words when a small sneaker slammed into his face, instantly breaking his nose with a sickening crunch as he was sent toppling into the ground.

"You're Yamajiro Yuusei," Koukitsu's voice was soft and deadly as he retracted his shoe from the downed man's face. The boy had moved so fast that neither Mori nor Kensei had time to react.

"I know where you were that night on the 19th of July..."

Mori started upon noting that was the night of the first murder, Again, a sheet of paper appeared in the boy's hands and was displayed to the man who was trying to stifle his heavily bleeding nose. "You couldn't avoid every camera," Koukitsu said with an almost cheerful air about him.

Yuusei roared, a gun in hand, but before he could fire a shot, Kensei had moved, knocking the man out with precise elbow to his temple.

For a moment, all Kensei did was look at the little boy and the photo he was holding, displaying Yuusei dragging another man down an alley at gunpoint. He then bowed. "Thank you, Koukitsu."

Tsuna smiled behind his mask. He'd only really wanted to get that man back because he'd knocked into Chrome that one time they'd visited Tokyo on a rainy day, making her fall onto the busy road. Tsuna had almost had a heart attack as he hauled the girl up before she was run over by a speeding car, and that man had only grunted and walked away without apologising while he and Chrome and been drenched from head to toe.

Huh, maybe he was learning a bit too much from Mukuro's example.

Tsuna shrugged and twirled around to face Mori. "Anyway, I've deemed Owen-san no threat to Japan, he has had no contact with anyone from the underground nor other intelligence agencies since he retired to Japan." Okay, so Brown-san did have contact with people of those backgrounds but only because Namimori was crawling with them and you couldn't run a convenience store without meeting someone with dubious backgrounds... just look at his friends for example.

Mori frowned a little. "I wanted his location."

Tsuna snorted and shook his head. "Did you forget my business policy? I don't sell out civilians. And Owen-san is now a civilian."

The boy looked down when his phone buzzed, no doubt one of his friends demanding to know why he was in Tokyo on a school night and sighed.

Fun, otherwise known as running circles around dangerous men, was over.

With a wave and a bow to all the people present, Tsuna pulled off one of Colonnello's teachings; he put his hands together in a _jutsu_ symbol, and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

And he wondered where all those rumours about Koukitsu being a ninja came from.

* * *

Another example of a suspicious person who wasn't really so much as suspicious as a shock to see in Namimori of all places.

In fact, Tsuna had been with Hayato, Takeshi and Chrome in the shopping part of the centre after school, enjoying crepes together when he choked on his food upon seeing a familiar head of strawberry blond hair.

"I-Ivan?!"

The young man –last time Tsuna had seen him, he was 16– turned and brightened upon seeing Tsuna.

 _"If it isn't X!"_ He exclaimed in Russian, and bounded over to ruffle Tsuna's hair. _"You're still a pipsqueak, I see."_

The brunet pouted indignantly, but humour danced in his eyes as he replied in Russian. _"It's been four years… you just grew too much!"_ He then turned to his friends and made a quick introduction.

"Everyone, this is Ivan, I met him in Russia about 4 years ago."

"Hello!" Ivan greeted in thickly accented Japanese. "We used to play in the same band!"

The others introduced themselves first, then began asking questions.

"I know bossu likes to write music but I didn't know he was part of a band."

"I didn't know either," Takeshi claimed.

Hayato knew, but only because he had asked Spanner, and Tsuna welcomed him in the music studio where he was fascinated with Hayato's ability to produce such beautiful music from the piano. Though Tsuna had written a few ballads and contemporary pieces he was more into casual rock for his music, which was why he found Hayato's talent amazing. Of course, the silveret couldn't disappoint when Tsuna gave him that eager look. Even if it still hurt to play piano, Tsuna eased the ache by being there for him.

"He was great!" Ivan gushed. "Absolutely made the stage! The band's still going though I left due to, ah, family issues." Then he turned to Tsuna. "It's great to see you're still making music. I'm a devoted fan, eh, _Ignis_?" He gave the little brunet a wink.

Tsuna's eyes widened. "You can tell it's me?!" Spanner, after seeing that he continued to write music and play despite always being busy, had encouraged him by setting up a personalised website where he could load mp3 files of his recorded songs. There were hundreds of recordings there now, some songs in different languages depending on what Tsuna felt like singing in, the more recent ones containing some piano by Hayato too. The site also got a million hits a day, which Tsuna could not understand. He was just glad he never jumped for mp4, where people would have recognised him. He had enough of crazed fans from _one_ book signing and as Kitsune in Namimori to last a lifetime.

"'Course I can," Ivan said, patting Tsuna's back good naturedly. "It's your voice."

He then gave Tsuna a playful head lock, rubbing his head in a noogie as he leaned in close to whisper in Russian. " _Hey, you got a place I could stay for a bit? I've got some, uh, people after me."_

Tsuna held the arm around his head and peered up at the man with his large doe eyes. "Would this be the Russian mafia or the government?"

Ivan blinked at the rather casual question, then at the other kids who didn't seem to be bothered by it.

"Che, another one, huh?" Hayato scoffed.

"Haha, we get a lot of runaways here," Takeshi laughed.

"You don't understand," Ivan stressed in a low voice. "You see, my family wants me to be the boss, when I really just want to go out and explore the world of music."

"The heir to the Lóng triad group is camping here too," Chrome said with a small smile.

Ivan sat back, dumbfounded. "I heard this place was pretty off the radar, which was why I came. But... You guys offer sanctuary?"

"No," Tsuna answered. "Way too much of a headache, but I can't stop people from coming here and making a home, now can I? Just don't try anything funny -this is a serious warning- and if your mess comes here, make sure you prioritise Namimori citizens and bring the fight somewhere else."

He took out a book from his bag and handed it to Ivan.

_'Simple steps to becoming a Japanese civilian in Namimori.'_

The Russian quirked a brow and flipped to a random page.

_'If you see a child in danger you can 1) Leave the child because any nearby robots will react accordingly and save him 2) Go to the nearest DC police box and report the incident 3) Come to the child's rescue. It is essential that you strike a cool hero pose if you go with option 3. Refer to the appendix, page 5 for hero poses. Please note that if you are going to fight, it is recommended that you take the fight to the proposed 'fighting areas' indicated in red on the fold out map at the back of this book.'_

"...Who wrote this?"

"Spanner."

Well, that explained everything.

* * *

"Tsunayoshi-kun."

Tsuna looked up from where he was finishing up braiding I-pin's hair, the little girl decided she likes two pigtails instead of one just like Lambo preferred his hair shorter nowadays. Speaking of Lambo, the boy was wreaking havoc with Gyuudon in Kawahira's back garden (Tsuna kind of wished the bull had been miniaturised like with his lion). They were visiting because Tauna didn't like how the man was _always_ eating ramen, it was neither filling nor nutritional, and so he insisted on dropping off proper food from time to time.

"I would like you to have this," the white haired man continued.

Tsuna blinked cluelessly at the rather clear round pacifier offered to him. It looked a lot like the pacifiers the babies-who-were-not-really-babies wore. Hesitating for a moment, he glanced surreptitiously at the ghost hovering behind the man, a woman whom looked remarkably like Yuni. She smiled at him serenely and inclined her head.

Tsuna took the pacifier.

The moment it met his fingers, it burst into bright uncontrollable orange, throwing everything into relief, making I-pin squint and Kawahira's glasses reflect. It hovered briefly in his palm before it dimmed and landed in his hand, coloured a bright orange like the one he saw Aria-san wore.

"This should capture the attention of your more interesting companions," Kawahira said with a mysterious quirk to his lips. "I would appreciate it if you kept me out of it, however."

Tsuna had no idea what the man was talking about, but then whenever the subject was on the flames or the pacifiers, he never really got a clear explanation. Tsuna concluded the man was just being weird, it certainly wouldn't be the first time.

* * *

He got his answer about an hour after he left Kawahira's store, after he'd dropped Lambo and I-pin off with Fuuta, Mami and Lancia-san at the pool for their swimming lessons.

A sense of coldness permeated the air as Tsuna was heading to the base and he ducked into an alley just as a portal opened up and a black cloaked Vindice appeared. They still creeped him out but Tsuna had become used to them, enough to tell the difference between them even if they wrapped everything (including their hair) in those bandages. Plus, they could be incredibly human at times, he knew Big Pino -despite the lack of words that one expressed- loved food, Junk had a hidden passion for music (Tsuna discovered this because he always visited when Tsuna was in his room or the music studio) and had been ecstatic in his own stoic manner when Tsuna gave him a guitar.

This time it was Jaegar.

"Hello," Tsuna greeted and blinked as the cloaked figure froze, unseen gaze heavy on the pacifier now strung around his neck.

The next moment, the brunet released an indignant squawk as he was picked up and forced into a portal that instantly made him feel nauseous. He didn't like the Vindice way of travelling at all and much preferred his own thank you.

 **"Bermuda-sama!"** Jaeger yelled as he burst into his boss' main office situated high on the prison grounds.

The bandaged baby didn't seem pleased at the interruption.

But Jaeger had very good reason for the disturbance. The man presented Tsunayoshi from under his arm. The boy's face was pale with a very green pallor, not that any of the jailers noticed when their attention was focused purely on the orange pacifier resting around his neck.

**"Impossible, the Gigleo Nero boss still has hers and _he_ hasn't called for a fight or a gathering."**

**"Perhaps she lost hers between the last time we checked and now..."**

**"Even so, it would have been passed on to her daughter."**

"Look guys, can you not talk like I'm not right in front of you and tell me what's going on?" Tsuna fumed queasily.

There was a moment of silence as Bermuda contemplated the request.

He relented in his own regal manner. **"Have you heard of the Arcobaleno?"**

* * *

Tsuna bust down the door to Kawahira's shop, shouting the man's name.

It wasn't hard to guess CheckerFace, as the Vindice referred to him, was actually the eccentric man, not when Kawahira had been the one to dump the pacifier on him. Incidentally, they discovered that the one Tsuna had was not, in fact, one of the Arcobaleno pacifiers but an imitation that did no more than store Tsuna's flames and release them when he wanted them back.

Tsuna could understand the deep-seeded hatred the Vindice had against the man for the injustice and circumstances they'd been through, but he'd also seen past the harsh tone and spat out words at the evident fact that the Arcobaleno was needed as part of this Tri-ni-sette system that apparently upheld this very world they knew. Or he was just trying to justify Kawahira-san's own reasons for what he did.

The white haired man was someone he saw almost all the time when he went to deliver papers, Kawahira even went out of his way to ask Tsuna to mind the store when the man disappeared to who-knew-where. Tsuna never got more than the feeling the man was strange, more so than his own band of friends and their weirdness. He couldn't exactly see the thin man dressed in a thick trench coat donning an iron hat and silver mask and acting the part of a malicious foe.

...sort of.

Either way, Tsuna had to skid to a stop when he discovered the shop was devoid of a certain white haired man.

And because of the little albino dragon currently hurling itself at his face.

Tsuna spluttered and flailed a bit as they got tangled together before the rope-like dragon settled around his neck and Tsuna peeled off the piece of parchment the creature had shoved into his face.

_'I'm going on a journey. Please take care of my store while I'm gone, Tsunayoshi-kun._

_-K'_

Tsuna's face made a transition through several colours before he yelled out in protest.

"DON'T JUST DUMP YOUR WORK ON ME!"

* * *

Verde and Shamal, veterans in the world of the mafia, had become rather jaded to the concept of surprises in their world.

That did not mean, however, that they weren't scared out of their wits when Tsuna bought home two Vindici like you'd bring home a puppy with the excuse-

"They followed me home."

Nana blinked, cooed, and got out two more plates for the guests.

Shamal, Verde, Shōichi and Spanner tried not to spit out the food in their mouths as Lambo, I-pin, Fuuta and Mami watched with wide eyes. Verde's attention was entirely taken by the baby Vindice settled on Tsuna's right shoulder.

Tsuna acted normal the entire dinner, striking up conversation with everyone present, and asking how they were doing, the replies varied from natural (Spanner and Shōichi who already knew of Tsuna's association with the Vindice) to strained (especially on Shamal's part when the large Vindice crushed one of his mosquitoes with a blur of his chopsticks).

After dinner and clearing the table (for some reason the image of the large Vindici wearing pink rubber gloves and washing _dishes_ -at his insistence- was rather terrifying) they headed up to Tsuna and Spanner's shared room while theyounger kids remained to play.

"I want to find an alternative vessel for the Arcobaleno Pacifiers," Tsuna announced right off the bat.

"Arcobaleno?" Spanner and Shōichi echoed while the baby and adult remained stock still.

"Yeah, like Verde here. I don't know if it'll work but from what Bermuda has explained, the pacifiers are humungous stores of energy and the people are the vessels. So if we find an alternative to using people as vessels then there wouldn't be need for all the anger and suffering the current and past Arcobaleno are going through."

"And what do the Vindice gain from this?" Shamal asked, the doctor's sharp gaze on the cloaked figures.

 **"Our revenge against The man with the Iron Hat, as you current Arcobaleno refer to him."** The baby Vindice replied regally, with an incline of his head to Verde.

The scientist scowled. He'd been working on a cure for as long as he'd been cursed and never had he thought of making an alternative vessel, not when the subject of, first, extracting the curse from the Arcobaleno bodies, and then transferring it elsewhere was scientifically impossible for them, only the man with the iron hat was capable of such a feat. "And how do you suppose we transfer the pacifiers?"

Tsyna blinked at them owlishly, and shrugged, "I'm sure that guy will turn up eventually, we just need to have the vessels ready."

* * *

Kurokawa Hana was an observant girl. So it didn't get past her when her best friend, Sasagawa Kyoko, turned faintly red and hesitated, letting Hana step in front. Hana was quick to take the step back to stand next to the girl and quirk a brow in question.

They were on their way to school early for morning duty and though Hana knew that there were a few admirers among the monkeys in their grade, their numbers increasing as they got older, she also knew her friend had no interest in any of them.

Hana glanced down the road where only a few pedestrians roamed, still early for the morning rush hour traffic. The newspaper delivery boy was coming toward them too, that strange contraption at the front thrusting papers into mailboxes and front yards alike.

Hana had seen him plenty of times, even the on and off chance she got up early enough to see him pass by her front gate where he would personally hand her the paper with a smile before racing off again. Recently though it seemed he and another younger boy took turns doing the job.

The boy stopped next to the girls and tipped his hat at them. Hana nodded and watched with interest as her friend's blush darkened.

"Ah, um, did you manage to give Onii-chan...?" The brunette trailed off, fidgeting with her hands.

"Ah yes, I caught up to him while he was racing to school. He said to thank you for the lunch." In an extreme way.

"Oh, thank you!" Kyoko looked relieved, no doubt worried about her brother going hungry.

The boy grinned and said, "no need, you're the one who should be rewarded for being such a brilliant little sister. Anyway, I need to head off or I won't finish before school!" He gave them a wave from one fingerless gloved hand and rode past.

Haha shook her head at the enthralled smile that overcame her friend's face. "Do you even know his name?" She asked, nudging the girl forward to continue their way to school.

Kyoko shook her head. "Onii-chan keeps calling him _otōto_."

Hana snorted. Blockhead.

"Well he seems familiar, and not just because he's been delivering papers to everyone's' doors for years," the dark haired girl mused, rubbing her chin.

"Really?" Kyoko looked at her friend eagerly.

Hana just shook her head ruefully. Now where had she seen that boy before...

They were still half way through morning duty, Hana and Kyoko were sat at one table, going through the roster when both jumped at the sound of a voice.

"Sparkle sparkle tuna fish," a teen with green hair and a huge apple hat said in a monotone, which completely belied his words. "I'm dizzy, fishie."

"You don't _look_ dizzy." One Sawada Tsunayoshi was sitting at his table near the window. Fran was standing behind him, with his arms wrapped around the brunet's neck and his chin resting on his head.

Hana had to blink for a moment because she swore she just saw cat ears poking out of Sawada Tsunayoshi's unruly hair. They weren't there when she looked again.

"Fran, what are you doing here?"

"Ah, it's sword tongue Hana-chan." Fran waved to her from where he was still holding onto Sawada. "And I have to hold onto this tuna because the nerdy inventor said he would give the rest of the cake if I do."

"Hey, that's my cake!" Tsuna exclaimed.

The girl rolled her eyes at her distant cousin's sarcastic words. She didn't really know Fran that well, the teen lived somewhere else (Tsuna's shopping centre actually) and they were in different grades too.

"Ah, um, I'm Sasagawa Kyoko, it's nice to finally meet Hana-chan's cousin," Kyoko smiled at the teen.

"It's another sparkly person, tuna." Fran stated, looking at Tsuna as he pointed at Kyoko.

The girl blushed, startled.

The brunet grabbed his finger. "That's rude Fran-san, you should apologise."

Meanwhile, Hana was still trying to work out how the boys ended up in the room without her or Kyoko knowing. The sliding door into the classroom was usually quite loud and the room had been silent with just the two of them there. It reminded her of the incident over a year ago with the school principal who had appeared just as abruptly...

The boys' conversation with Kyoko was interrupted as Hana stood up, so suddenly that her chair fell to the ground.

"Hana-chan?"

"I can't believe it..." Hana said in quiet surprise, her eyes wide. "I can't believe no one has noticed."

"Noticed what?" Tsuna asked with a tilt of his head.

"The newspaper delivery boy and our school principal who is also the mayor of Namimori, they're the same person." Hana announced triumphantly.

Kyoko blinked, confusion clear in her eyes. "Really?"

"They have the same hat, don't they?"

Meanwhile, Tsuna's complexion was getting paler as the girls went on, and Hana zeroed in on him instantly. She stalked up to Tsuna's desk, banging a hand on his table, making him jump.

"You know something don't you?" She asked with accusing eyes.

"Er, haha," Tsuba laughed and looked to the side.

The window to the room slid open with a bang, the glass cracking from the force. "LIL BRO!" Ryohei yelled, his voice making the room rattle.

Tsuna and Fran quickly plugged their ears.

"Can't you enter through the door, onii-san?" Tsuna asked, glancing at the now broken window mournfully.

"LIL BRO DOESN'T EXTREMELY USE THE DOOR EITHER!"

"The loud monkey breaks things," Fran said.

Hana agreed.

"O-onii-chan! What are you doing here?!" Kyoko exclaimed, standing up.

"Oh yeah!" The boxer turned to Tsuna. "IT'S NOT EXTREME TO RUN AWAY!"

"The sparkly tuna is a cat," said Fran. "Cats go wherever they like."

"BUT LIL BRO IS A FOX! HIBARI SAYS SO!"

"Look guys, don't I get a say as to _what_ I am?!"

Hana was quickly getting bored of the boys' nonsense conversation. Instead her mind was working through the mysterious identity of the principal, newspaper delivery boy, and mayor of Namimori. "Hey, Kyoko, you said that your brother always calls the newspaper delivering boy 'little brother', right? When did he start calling Sawada that also?" This was certainly suspicious.

Kyoko shook her head, saying that her brother seemed to be hanging around Tsuna more often but she didn't know when it started.

Then the door opened, more students trailing in, and Kyoko and Hana had to finish off the rest of morning duty before the bell rung.

It took a few months or so before Hana worked out that it really was Tsuna doing everything, and only because Tsuna's doppelgänger, otherwise known as Fran or Chrome's illusions, threw her off. (No way would Tsuna ever let Mukuro make an illusion of himself again, the _only_ time he'd done that, Tsuna saw himself acting very, um, provocatively which put half the student body out of commission with nosebleeds -yes, his friends included.)

By that time she and Kyoko were already good friends with him, and she could only roll her eyes and ask if he needed assistance with those jobs too.

* * *

Fortunately for Tsuna, and perhaps unfortunately for his friends, Tsuna eventually learned methods of punishment and persuasion from the very best. Perhaps Bianchi's food poisoning incident should have been a prelude and warning that it was best to keep Tsuna away from girls.

Usually it was touch and go with what Tsuna used, with mixed results. He had already put Mukuro and Hibari into a coma for a week using his guitar and a new song. They hadn't been very happy, to say the least, and he was subject to terrifying nightmares for two weeks afterwards and a very twitchy Hibari who attacked him on sight.

But then he bumped into a bubbly girl and Kyoko-chan one day when coming home from the amusement park Mukuro, Chrome, Chikusa and Ken made. Compared to its original appearance; a run-down and dilapidated abandoned park, it was now thriving with thrill seekers and bright gaudy rides. Fuuta had done his floaty thing again and ranked the haunted house as the number one most horrifying house out of 128 others in the world. He then ranked the park itself as 'number 2 most likely to scar young children' (some park called Mafia Land was number 1). Tsuna kind of wished he got those rankings _before_ he decided to take Lambo, I-pin, Mami and Fuuta to the amusement park.

So he was rather exhausted, slightly scorched and scarred for life by the time he was walking home with the younger children in tow. That was probably why he didn't even bother to think when he saw some unruly guys who he recognised to be from the local yakuza group approaching Kyoko and another girl who both had bags full of fabrics and cardboard.

Tsuna jumped on the most aggressive guy's back, sending him sprawling to the ground.

"Hey!" One of the others exclaimed.

He sent them all a cold dark look that pretty much screamed _, 'I can get Hibari-san to come here, beat the crap out of you, and have all the Momokyokai exiled out of this town.'_ The men then seemed to realise that this boy was not to be underestimated and quickly quieted down.

The kids ran up to him as he stepped off the guy's back, Lambo sticking his tongue out at the guys. Turning to Kyoko and her friend, Tsuna asked, "Are you two okay?"  
"Thank you, Tsuna-kun," Kyoko said with a smile. She then introduced Haru to them, who seemed rather taken with the younger kids around Tsuna.

Then Tsuna asked what the supplies were for.

"Hahi! Haru and Kyoko are setting up a play for an event at the market place!"

Oh, that, Tsuna thought to himself. He'd been the one to write the promotion details up.

"Ah, but there's a lot of stuff we have to set up and though Haru-chan is absolutely amazing at costume design, we're still not sure how to set up the sets for the play…" Kyoko said, a hand on her cheek in concern.

Tsuna glanced at the yakuza men who were watching them, and then back to the girls. "If you don't mind, I can try and help with designing the set for the play. And I'm sure these wonderful men would be more than willing to offer their assistance, right?" Cue Tsuna's billion watt smile that was colder than Hibari's fiercest glare.

The men stiffened. "O-of course we are!"

Tsuna only had a bit of experience with interior design compared to clothing designing which he knew like the back of his hand, since he helped Alaire set up stages and lights for some of the fashion shows and he partially helped with his shopping centre when it was still being set up. But he did have the fundamentals; a good eye for colour, object placement and harmony, so he managed to come up with some rather good settings for the play. Kyoko and Haru had been delighted, and they were more than happy for the help even Lambo, I-pin, Fuuta and Mami offered.

Well, this was the incident that opened Tsuna to exploring interior design and later, implementing it.

"Fox!" Hibari burst into his office at the school. Tsuna offered a genial smile in the face of the death glare. "What. Have. You. Done."

At the same time, the window to his office shattered and Mukuro entered, absolutely livid. "Tsunayoshi…!"

Tsuna gave them both his most disarming pout and tilted his head, his eyes wide and innocent (something he'd learned to do after watching Kyoko-chan successfully reason with her older brother). "What? You don't like it? And I worked so hard to make it all nice and pretty…" His eyes started to water.

"My office." Hibari began stiltedly. "Is _pink_." He ended in a hiss. A nice glittery sparkly pink with fairies hanging off his ceiling and a unicorn on his wall. His windows had also been converted to stained glass, his table covered in lacy lavender, with pink tulips decorating the top.

"Kufufufufu… at least yours is _nice_." Mukuro began, annoyance clear in his words. "My office," the one at his amusement park, "is bright yellow and I have large portraits of mutilated pineapples decorating my walls."

"Eh, you don't like those either?" Tsuna asked, gleefully upset, Haru-chan could pull this expression off very well. "I painted those myself."

Mukuro and Hibari froze as they looked into honey brown eyes that were cold as ice.

"I still have the pineapples too… would you like to see them?" Tsuna asked, with an innocent tilt of his fluffy head. "Chrome helped me with them."

"No," Mukuro chuckled stiffly as he shifted slightly closer to the window. "I just recalled that I'm rather busy today…"

"I see…" Tsuna said, looking genuinely disappointed before he perked up again. "Then, just one thing."

"Of course."

Tsuna beamed. "Please fix my window that you just broke."

Mukuro nodded stiffly and disappeared in a mist. Hibari left without a word, it just wasn't worth it to incur more of the fox's wrath. Obviously their last fight, in his house, had made him very very angry, as he would be after losing months' worth of music and designs to their destruction. He had been upset enough to put in the time and effort to redesign their offices.

And they would think twice about fighting at places that would break things after going through all the paper work and irritation of getting their offices back to normal.

Chrome, and Kusakabe refused to offer assistance and they were too proud to ask.

The girls also introduced Tsuna to playwriting and acting, which soon transformed the rare little acts at the market place into full-fledged professional plays, as things always tended to escalate with Tsuna. The fact that illusionists and inventors were always at their disposal just made things more dramatic.

"The dragon will fall by my sword!" 'Prince' Takeshi yelled dramatically as he pointed his favourite sword, the one he got from Squalo, at the metal fire-breathing beast the size of a house.

Ominous laughter rung from no particular source to the outdoor audience. A spotlight shone on the dragon as its mouth opened and a long metal platform rolled out of its mouth. A chibi-scientist stood on it, smirking evilly down at everyone. "I'd like to see you try," he said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Oh no, save me from the evil prince that's trying to kill my pet." The most monotone voice called from the top of the tower behind the dragon. Fran blinked down at them as he swept his long illusionary green hair over a shoulder.

Tsuna face-palmed from where he was standing backstage. Who cast these characters? Oh yeah, he did.

He must have been out of his mind.

An axe came flying from out of nowhere, slamming into the dragon's neck and beheading it. A... Person dressed in a pink and white spandex costume (like those from Power Rangers) and a pink cape made a dramatic pose as she caught Verde. "Fear not, for I have saved your pet!" Verde grumbled inaudibly.

Another person dressed similarly in a yellow and white theme came at Takeshi armed with a frying pan. "And I'll defeat the evil prince!"

Takeshi parried with his sword, gritting his teeth as he came face to face with the yellow mask. "I'm not going down that easily!"

Tsuna's adopted mother had taken the girls under her wing last time she visited, and commenced secret training with them. Somehow or another it made the demure Kyoko-chan and bubbly Haru capable of putting up a fight when they wanted to. Lal had been very proud of her work as Chrome, Kyoko, Hana, Haru and Mami who had joined them, successfully came back from subjugating the neighbouring town's Yakuza group with no accountable property damage, only slight scarring, and a deep-seeded respect for women among the members as the result. Tsuna would have been thankful if he hadn't been dumped with the job of dealing with the ex-yakuza members.

When his cue came up -after the prince had been defeated and the girls were pondering over how to get up the tower- Tsuna flew in, suspended on wires, and grabbed Fran, carrying him princess-style as he flew across the stage.

"'The princess is mine!'" He called out to the surprised gasps of the girls below.

"'Oh, my hero.'" Fran said in the blandest tone only he was capable of as he cupped Tsuna's cheeks.

The tower that held Fran captive now whirred to life, the bricks splitting apart and shifting to form a gundam/transformer-like figure. The boys in the audience all cheered. Verde then escaped Haru's hold and leapt onto the robot to point accusingly at Tsuna in the air. "'How dare you take my specimen! Capture him!'"

Kyoko, otherwise playing the yellow power ranger, gasped. "'The princess' pet was the one who captured her?'"

"'My 'pet' is so uncute.'" Fran stated as the battle started.

Tsuna, once again, questioned his mentality when he wrote up this script. Never again was he going to eat any candy Verde offered, even if it smelt like cupcakes and sugar drops.

* * *

Tsuna was modelling -again- for Alaire in a grand hall in St. Petersburg, dressed in a gothic theme; black silver studded trench coat over a black open collared dress shirt sporting silver accents, black fashionably torn jeans stuffed into black army boots. He had thick eye liner on his face, his hair dyed a temporary black and slicked back with a ton of hairspray. He also had on silver earrings with a single chain linked to another (fake) piercing on his lip.

He had just finished and was heading for the change rooms when he saw a cat in the dim hallway, waiting for him. He crouched, petting the cat and glancing around to make sure no people were there before he changed into his cat form to listen to his feline friend's report. The Vindice had asked him to investigate who the next heir of Vongola, one of the biggest most influential mafia famiglia in Italy, would be.

As he listened to Chaussette, named for her white paws, who had been listening to crows, who had heard from the mice inhabiting Vongola mansion in Italy, who overheard a discussion about the very confidential news of the next heir, he paled. And then a palpable anger rose from him as he heard one particular name among those who were responsible.

* * *

**EXTRA**

How to deal with Bullies 101: Have possessive and/or obsessive friends.

"Hey, I've got a good idea!" Omasu crowed from where he and his friends were walking to school. "Why don't we 'play' with Dame-Tsuna today?"

Dame-Tsuna, pathetic, weak, and horrible at studies -bullies tended to resolutely ignore the fact that 'Dame'-Tsuna's grades weren't the worst anymore, in fact he was top of the class in English.

The other's yelled their agreement, for once eager for school if it meant they could have fun today.

But they didn't even make it a step further before something large, was shoved into Omasu's loud mouth. He choked, spluttering before taking it out to reveal a...roll of newspaper.

"What the hell?!" The group of teens turned, as one, to see a silver haired teen on a newspaper delivery bike, glowing daggers at the lot of them. The barrel of the paper shooting machine was pointed threateningly towards them.

"You're not touching Tsuna-sama!"

"Shit-!" They didn't make it far before they were all shot down by a barrage of high velocity newspapers.

Hayato dusted his hands and nodded to himself before calling one of the robots over to deliver the unconscious bullies to the hospital. It was a good thing he volunteered to deliver today so Tsuna-sama could get more sleep after staying up to finish his storyboard.

It got the the point that people could barely mention Tsuna's name without being glared at -or in Yamamoto Takeshi's case, given a glacier-like stare that made any bully feel like they were staring a hitman in the eyes.

If a 'Dame' was even mentioned, students couldn't even get a 'Tsu' out before someone stopped them. Some of the male bullies in Tsuna's class swore upon their grandmother's graves the sweet and innocent Chrome-chan threw snakes and carnivorous plants at them while Namimori's idol, Kyoko-chan had given them a smile that could have made a stone weep. Hell the gossiping girls in the class were terrified when one Kurokawa Hana slammed a thick book onto their table, turning her sharp glower that could freeze a man on them before smirking and opening the book to reveal an exclusive photograph collection of the apparently 'lame', 'pathetic', 'Dame'-Tsuna. The girls were converted within a page.

And Tsuna could only stare at Hana quizzically as the photo album containing many of his photos from childhood was returned to him. When had she gotten her hands on this?

Mukuro, well, he didn't even need mentioning because he terrified people (except the fangirls, of course) with his mere presence. So all he had to do was smirk devilishly, slinging his arms around two bullies as they were trying to stalk Tsuna and ask, "now what were you hoping to do with _my_ Tsunayoshi, hm?" The bullies squeaked, stuttered, and promptly ran away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shinai = kendo practice sword  
> 綱吉 = Tsunayoshi. I looked at other readings for the Kanji and made 'Koukitsu' but I don't actually know if I'm allowed to do that (I'm sorry for butchering the language). By the way, he would write this in hiragana (こうきつ) as his alias.  
> Shiruko = sweet red bean soup, you can get them canned from vending machines in Japan.  
> Aimono = fresh or dried fish preserved in salt.  
> -kai = common suffix used for Yakuza groups (like –gumi)


	18. Chapter 18

**Interlude 1**

After a rather comical situation where Hana dragged Kyoko, and subsequently, Haru to confront Tsuna about the fact that he was in charge of Namimori, attending school while running said school at the same time, and somehow managed to still deliver papers in the morning (he only maintained about two days out of a week now that Fuuta had taken over but Hana was _adamant)_ the same time Colonnello had popped by for a week of remedial training (he was still pissed at the Federico incident) and Tsuna had ended up having to explain all his jobs while balanced on a razor thin wire in a ridiculous ninja outfit.

Hana was of the opinion that Tsuna's life was _insane_ but since Kyoko liked/admired one of his personas then she was joining, come hell or high water. (The exorbitantly high pay was also nice. Very nice. Hey, she was a practical person.) Magic Flames that allowed her to disintegrate anything she wanted into so much dust was an added bonus.

Haru never had as much vindictive fun as the day she lit her first Flame and subsequently put every Yakuza in that particular wing of the mansion into a Tranquility induced coma. Redesigning the uniforms with I-pin and Mami was incredibly fun, almost as fun as getting together with everyone and choreographing performances, no wonder Tsuna did it so often. (Tsuna would like to protest and say that he did _not_ redress unconscious people all the time, he just liked to have a little fun when his friends knocked each other out in their fights. The stress relief had to come from _somewhere.)_ The Aburi-gumi were not as pleased to wake up in traditional Kabuki garments and make-up, and to an audience of giggling children.

Kyoko's personality worked in a certain way; the fact that she became the most popular girl in the school was not as attributed to her looks (because she had been the most popular girl throughout grade school, even during the whole cooties phase boys went through) as it was that she has understood human social hierarchy better than anyone by the age of _five;_ she knew exactly what to say and what to do to allow her to drift above her peers.

Similarly, Hibari's understanding of the animal kingdom and its hierarchy -which was actually less applicable to humans than Sasagawa Kyoko's- was what made _him_ the top of his food chain.

When Tsuna kind-of-by-accident introduced the two during a stint as a mime, he was silently perplexed to see them regard each other, with a knowing smile on Kyoko-chan's part, and tolerant amusement on Hibari's.

(Kyoko used to regard violence as nothing more than barbaric way to usurp superiority above another, it was in no way as refined as getting her classmates to willingly acknowledge her as _better._ But then, she'd never known just how _fun_ it was to throw her kitchen supplies at people.

Then she met Tsuna, and his friends, and Hibari.

Ryohei was glad his sister was off his case about getting into unnecessary fights. He was less sure about the fact that his little sister was capable of turning a single butcher's knife into _dozens_ when she threw it and with terrifying accuracy.)

* * *

**Interlude 2**

Getting a call from his former tutor was both humbling and terrifying.

Mostly terrifying.

Reborn was an excellent (sadistic and unconventional and absolutely insane) tutor and being asked to come to Japan meant that Dino was expected in Japan, at the the exact time and place specified.

Unfortunately, Dino's proficiency at Japanese was lacking (he could speak at least five languages fluently but there were limits to even Reborn's tutelage). Fortunately, one of the Cavallone's trading partners, the Gesso's heir, knew a guy who was both Japanese, fluent in Italian, and 'so adorable that disappointing him was a crime against your own existence'.

Okaay.

Well, surely _anyone_ would be better than asking Reborn for more -shudder- tutoring?

(Tsuna would like it very much if Byakuran would _stop_ giving him random jobs. He had enough on his plate.

He would also like it if the marshmallow maniac stopped trying to send him his paperwork.

Tsuna didn't need the cursed things appearing in his underwear drawer, or in Natsu's litter box, or wherever Byakuran deemed a suitable place to put highly classified reports and trade drafts.)

* * *

**Interlude 3**

Tsuna was surprisingly lacklustre with regards to some things.

Case in point; the brunet never bothered to ask about Flames even after the incident in the old Estraneo base and Hell, and accidentally-on-purpose razing the Carcassa to the ground just because he got a 'little' upset at the way they treated Skull.

Even after Hayato finally came clean, and Spanner and Shōichi and all his nerdy friends had a field day with the whole thing.

Tsuna was of the opinion that setting his head and hands on fire was _absolutely ridiculous_ and no help with any of his jobs.

At least until Verde and Shamal sat him down and explained about his flames.

Having what was apparently a big part of him sealed away for the majority of his childhood -which explained _so much_ because Tsuna hadn't tripped even once since the unsealing- he could handle because it'd already happened and the seal was now gone.

Then there was this Harmony Factor.

Verde was well aware that the warm presence that Tsunayoshi exuded in spades was due in part to the purity of his flames, and in part to the harmonisation between the brunet and other flame users/flame potentials. Frankly, the unsealing had just increased the potency because evidently the effect was still there prior to the seal breaking if all these other people surrounding the boy were any indication. It was almost overwhelming the ease with which the brunet unconsciously made even the most turbulent Flames feel welcome.

The scientist turned his thoughts to the present when the constant feeling of _warmth-home-family,_ increased ten-fold.

Tsunayoshi's eyes were a dull amber, teetering on the edge to Hyper Dying Will mode (and hadn't _that_ been a surprise, the only other incidence recorded out there was Vongola Primo).

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to increase the harmony thing." Tsune replied, frowning a little while he tried to push the warmth inside him _out_ and not have it form flames. "You said it feels good to be with me, right? Well, it would be nice if everyone around me could feel that.

Verde resisted the urge to say that _that was impossible_ you couldn't just _increase a natural factor of your flames!_ But, evidently, the brunet was doing just that, somehow.

Shamal choked breathlessly at the feeling of potent Sky flames caressing at his own. "You want to attract even more insane, violence prone people? Isn't most of the Arcobaleno and the freaking Vindice enough?"

Tsuna tilted his head, brow furrowing and feeling somewhat affronted. "They're just people in some tough and completely unnecessary circumstances they don't _deserve_ to be in. That doesn't mean you should treat them any differently than you would other people."

"You-" Shamal stopped, and stared at this kid and could, for a moment, understand _why_ this civilian boy had the most dangerous people in the world twisted around his little fingers. He slapped a hand over his face and let out a muffled, "you know what? Forget it. Just- don't change."

Verde let the smallest of smiles slip as he jumped onto the brunet's head.

Tsuna continued to look adorably confused as he wondered if all adults were so _weird._

* * *

**Interlude 4**

Having his famiglia destroyed was less upsetting than it probably should be. But then, Skull had never been fortunate in terms of companions since having the 'Arcobaleno' label slapped over his head. As someone whose only redeeming factor, in terms of the world of organised crime, was his ability to not die -because who needed a _stuntman_ in the freaking _mafia-_ it was lucky he'd found any famiglia who wanted him.

It could certainly have been worse, it could have been a famiglia like the Estraneo, and Skull had enough of human experimentation in his lifetime -being unable to die of anything short of old age was a _bitch,_ and don't let people tell you otherwise. The Carcassa were less science oriented and more into narcotics and human trafficking which wasn't exactly better, but still.

However, human trafficking was illegal and frowned upon even among the Cosa Nostra and despite everything the Caracassa did to fly under the radar, eventually the Vindice caught wind and sent someone to investigate.

That someone just happened to be a kid who resembled a small animal more than one of the terrifying sceptres that upheld mafia law.

The next series of events worked in the usual ridiculous fashion the majority of Tsuna's life seemed to. It started with Tsuna getting lost, bumping into Skull, immediately getting along with the Arcobaleno, getting into an altercation with the boss of the famiglia in which the Carcassa proved just how much they didn't care for Skull, eventually ending with Tsuna burning the mansion down around their ears and offering a new job to Skull.

"A stuntman? That's awesome! Haru would love you in her plays!"

Skull turned an endearing crimson at the praise and rubbed his head awkwardly. "Plays, huh? Well I guess that's better than nothing." And middle school amateur attempts at cinematics beat dubious drug dealings any day.

Then he came face-to-face with the full-scale amphitheatre Tsuna installed for Haru sometime after they started middle school.

"What the heck, you call this a play?!"

* * *

**Chapter 18**

The moment Reborn stepped foot into Namimori was the day he lost what little respect he had for the man in charge of CEDEF.

"Iemitsu, there are more ex-mafioso, run-away heirs, ex-intelligence personnel, and yakuza boss' here than in any other city in _Japan._ All living together, peacefully. _Why have you not informed me of this_."

"There are WHAT."

"You _incompetent imbecile_."

(To be fair, many of the agents stashed in Namimori by Vongola, CEDEF or otherwise were either under the influence of a mist induced illusion of nothing-was-abnormal, 'convinced' to move of the town by the disciplinary committee, or bought into the fold and fallen to the charms of Namimori's charismatic mayor.

Iemitsu had been receiving embellished reports for years now.)

The moment Reborn came face-to-face with his new student was when he realised two things: One, Tsunayoshi Sawada's life was actually more chaotic than all of Vongola combined-

Somewhere between Reborn's introduction as a hitman and Vongola's family tree, Tsuna managed to get roped into dressing as a 1800s pirate and handing out flyers for an event at the local theatre. As entertaining as it was for Reborn to cosplay the parrot on the kid's tricorne, he was just as flabbergasted -which was expressed as exaggerated violence toward his 'captain'- at the utter nonsense.

Finding out that Reborn's most recent suit designs have come from the same kid, and that the boy practically ran the entire town cemented this idea.

-Two, despite the initial surprise and a few arguments to over roles and responsibilities-

"What the fuck, why the hell are you here Reborn-senpai?!"

"Don't you dare damage my sibling Reborn, he's my best investment-"

"Oi, kora! That's my son! Only I'm allowed to beat him up-"

"Reborn, Tsunayoshi is like a nephew to me and I would appreciate it if you unhand him _now-"_

"Uncle-Reborn! That's _my_ kitty!"

Reborn shot some people, then stared down at Tsuna who was holding his blushing face in his hands. "What. the. hell."

"Just. Don't ask."

-and some of the boy's 'companions'-

The boy had less self-preservation instincts than even _Iemitsu._ Seriously? The mafia's nightmare personified? _Verde?_ "Be prepared to have sense beaten into you, Tsuna."

"What's wrong with the Vindice? And Verde?!"

"My God, you have to _ask._ What the hell has that useless dad of yours been teaching you?"

"Papa-Colonnello isn't that bad!"

-As chaos personified, Reborn actually fit right in.

(Especially as Tsuna had long since given up on trying to stop these ridiculous things from happening to him, a chibi-hitman who wanted to tutor him? Fine, there were worse things to happen in his life.

He didn't get why Reborn looked somewhat disappointed when he told him that though.)

* * *

Running the entire Honshu region of yakuza was all Mama-Lal's fault, really.

(Tsuna lost a game, and was now required to address his adoptive parents as such. He was sure Colonnello cheated at that particular game of Go Fish, but had no means to prove it, _dammit.)_

His adoptive mother decided that it was prudent that the girls that had joined all the others in the 'those-who-know' club participate in a bonding activity of her own design.

Tsuna was too busy seeing to the sudden influx of ex-criminals and otherwise seeking refuge in Namimori at the time to do anything more than give his consent.

Kyoko, Haru, Hana, Chrome, I-pin, Mami and Mama-Lal returned from the tour around the surrounding cities, smug and satisfied like the cat who got the cream. Poor naïve Tsuna was happy that his friends were happy.

He bitterly regretted this when, not one week after, some of the more prominent Yakuza boss' of Chiba, Nagano and Saitama came and offered _anything you want as long as those monsters stayed out of their territories_. Tsuna argued that he had no say in what his friends liked to do in their free time. Then Hibari appeared to see who was wasting his fox's time and the rest was history.

The only problem was, it didn't end there.

Tsuna's other friends; namely Ryohei, Hayato and Takeshi saw this as an opportunity to promote Tsuna's greatness and went out on their own to bring back more traumatised, beaten-up yakuza, like dogs bringing back presents for their master. Habari joined by periodically dropping the bleeding bodies of his victims at Tsuna's doorstep, draped over his window-sill, hanging from the tree outside, and over his office table like a cat showing off his prowess.

Tsuna was Not Pleased.

At least Mukuro's victims didn't bleed everywhere, even if they did react violently and in confusion at finding themselves in Namimori with no recollection of what they were doing for the past week.

But Tsuna's migraine increased a hundred fold when the girls found out, and with a maturity of all pre-teen children, War was declared among his friends.

Then the Vindice got themselves involved on the basis that _someone_ needed to clean up the yakuza, and with all the Flame research they were conducting over the pacifiers there were less members free to terrorise the world of organised crime and since the kids were pretty much doing their jobs for them, why not reap the benefits?

This meant that Tsuna was suddenly in charge of a portion of the Vindice funds (that they received from various famiglia, underground organisations, and intelligence services, as a form of Mafia Tax) to _fund_ the chaos his friends generated.

The result was many a yakuza appearing at his door to either kill him (those groups did not last long in the face of Spanner and Shōichi's automated army), beg him to stop his friends -who he _wasn't_ the boss of, despite what everyone else seemed to think- or to offer their alliance to his cause -of which he had _none._

As such, Tsuna basically became a go-to figure of influence for the yakuza boss' of the majority of Japan.

But his migraine was nothing compared to Reborn's when the hitman found this out. (Right after he discovered that Tsuna was the heir to a multinational company who was monopolising the current stock market.)

"How does this even _happen."_

"Well-"

 _"Don't_ answer that Kurokawa."

Tsuna pointedly ignored them as he continued to emphasise to the monthly meet of Yakuza Alliance that extricating 'protection money' from someone through fear and violence was _not_ a viable nor a profitable venture and that honest protection and building positive connections with those living in their territories would be more beneficial in the long run.

* * *

Luckily, or not so luckily -depending on your perspective- Tsuna didn't really require any training at all.

He managed a multi-billion dollar company consisting of thousands of employees, an entire school, and his multitude of friends and acquaintances -which, considering the many jarring personality clashes, was actually damn impressive- with an ease that would make even Primo weep.

The Guardian issue was still up in the air because there were so _many_ potential candidates. (It was also around this time the hitman began to understand that this type of exasperated feeling of surprise was default when handling Tsuna.) But there were Guardians and Reborn had no need to call anyone -he still needed to urge Tsuna to choose some but he'd jump that particular hurdle later.

Physical training wasn't necessary when there were more than enough violent people surrounding the brunet day in and day out and it was hard enough squeezing anything inside Tsuna's busy schedule. Which consisted of meetings -school, duties to Namimori, the company he almost ran, the Yakuza that for some reason felt obliged to run things by Tsuna and sometimes have him play mediator- his school work -as a student, not the principal, and Reborn was still perplexed over how a grade schooler (at the time) ended up with that particular position- his family and friends (because Tsuna always made sure to keep some time free to cook with his mother, for playing with the children, for relaxing with Hayato and Takeshi and Spanner and Shōichi, for checking on Mukuro and co., for going out for cake with Hana and Chrome and Kyoko and Haru, and basically being a good boss in Reborn's eyes) and that wasn't even including all his other jobs.

Frankly, the less said about Tsuna's schedule the better. Half of Tsuna's friends considered the massive tome to be a time bending continuum, because even with all the help they offered none of them understood _how_ Tsuna was getting everything done. (There were also a number of bets on a cloning device, there were even know more on Tsuna just not being human.)

(And if it grated on Reborn's nerve that the other Arcobaleno got to his student before him, well, no one said he wasn't allowed to send gifts to them as _thanks._

Collonello, in smoking ruins and charred yellow paint, would beg to differ.)

But in the end, there really wasn't much Reborn needed to _do._

This entire job was almost like a paid vacation, really.

Almost. If not for the simple fact-

"Pray tell, how did Tsuna get to _Canada_ to serve as a _pilot_ for a nature documentary shoot in the two minutes you lost sight of him?"

Irie Shōichi on the couch groaned in absolute agony, Hana, next to him rubbed her temples, brow twitching sporadically, as Verde huffed and Takeshi laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

It all looked very well rehearsed.

"Tsuna-sama," Hayato plaintively moaned, somehow still sounding respectful if rather resigned, "I wish he never learned to teleport."

"... Teleport?"

(There was a growing list in Reborn's head of tortures he needed inflict on the imbecile that was Tsuna's father for every time something happened that either made the hitman want to bash his head against a wall or main someone.

It was rather lengthy list.)

* * *

It was somewhere a few weeks after the time he informed his mother of their unneeded financial aid from their father that Tsuna came to a sudden realisation that keeping his wonderful loving mother in the dark was akin to what his father did with the whole _never being home or ever calling_.

Tsuna didn't exactly hate his father but behaving anything like the man was absolutely out of the question.

Therefore, Sawada Nana had actually been kept up to date about her son's activities, and was so incredibly proud of him that every opportunity spent with her adorably handsome young man was filled with as much affection as she could possibly give.

Bar the whole plethora of barely-legal jobs including, and not limited to; temporary mafia boss, computer hacker, information broker, and somehow running the entire Honshu region of Yakuza (after another field trip across Japan with those lovely girls her son had befriended -here, Tsuna shuddered and wondered who in their right mind ever let Kyoko become friends with _Hibari._ He vehemently ignored Shōichi's pointed stare.) Nana maintained that her son was the miracle the disturbed and neglected people _needed_ in their lives, and that at least he could turn their views to work for a better cause.

She still turned paper white and clung to Tsuna that little bit tighter when Shamal reluctantly informed her and her son's adopted parents of what happened in Italy because child experimentation sounded like words right from a horror novel but they _actually happened_ , both to her little boy and to the children he bought back with him.

So she asked Lal for some tips in self defence in exchange for some child-rearing advice (Lal may be reluctant, but somehow, Tsuna's mothers are far more responsible than his fathers) and tried her best to keep an eye (or dozen -Spanner was the genius son she never asked for but loved just the same, and he had more than enough spare cameras and listening devices) on her son and his friends.

She was not going to stop them or get in their way, but if it ever came to a situation where lives were on the line, Nana vowed not to be left behind. Somehow, Tsuna seemed to understand and happily welcomed his mother when he and the kids ran through Fon's drills in the backyard.

As such, when Iemitsu finally came home and ended up telling her the truth (due in part to his son's pointed stares) she just blinked down at the grovelling man.

"Not to worry dear, I'm sure you just wanted to keep us safe," she said airily.

Iemitsu was just ready to jump up and kiss his wonderful and kind wife senseless, when Reborn appeared in all his vindictive glory.

"He's wants to bring Tsuna into the mafia too," said the chibi-hitman with a sweet smile.

"...does Tsu-kun _want_ to be in the mafia?"

"I wouldn't say so, maman."

Iemitsu gulped as the air-headed appearance disappeared as if had never existed and an expression he'd never seen before crossed his wife's face. "I can explain..."

When Tsuna got home from dealing with his mayoral duties that night, he wondered at the new rice-cooker his mother was setting up.

"Not to worry, Tsu-kun! The last one just got a little battered is all."

"Okay..." Tsuna's intuition told him that it was best not to ask about the face-shaped dent in the old rice cooker sticking out of the bin.

"Also, Tsu-kun, Mama wants to ask for a favour." Nana smiled sweetly. Reborn, who was remaining surprisingly silent, twitched and tried not to think about how the woman had worn the exact same expression whilst slamming a rice-cooker into her husband's face.

"Anything," Tsuna promised immediately.

"Hayato-kun was telling me about a cake you baked when you were in Italy. Do you mind teaching me the recipe..?"

* * *

Reborn was sorely tempted to laugh in Xanxus face when the Varia finally made their appearance.

It was either that or introduce his head to the nearest wall when Bel and Lussuria started to chase his protégé around, one yelling about his 'royal cat' and the other cooing French endearments while Takeshi grinned and greeted with genuine cheer, "Squalo! I have a present for you!"

(Reborn _thought_ he'd recognised the teen's sword from somewhere.)

"I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU FUCKING BRATS- WHAT THE FUCK _IS_ THAT?!"

"Haha, isn't it awesome?"

"THAT'S A FUCKING _SHARK."_

Poor Basil was left to be picked up by an android as Tsuna disappeared completely, Squalo started slicing at Takeshi and the shark swimming in the air, Haru socked Levi in the face with yarn-ball aglow with paralysing rain flames, and Hayato started yelling at Takeshi _to get his ass to a fighting zone you idiot, do you want to make more work for Tsuna-sama?!_

Reborn settled for smirking at the hint of confusion in Xanxus' rage-filled expression, just as the man started firing at anything that moved within his range of senses (which was quite far, Reborn would have been more impressed if it weren't for the fact that Tsuna was a master of sensing what happened in his ridiculous sphere of influence).

Xaxus tore down the entire street, and scattered several civilians (who were admirably avoiding rubble, and appearing slightly annoyed, as if this was a common occurrence) and flame-animals before a number of massive robots decended on him _en masse._

Squalo's eyes bugged at the sight of hundreds of Gola Mosca, with the shark still gnawing on his prosthetic arm.

Reborn shook his head as chains wrapped and pulled the struggling Varia leader into a portal, leaving his stupefied underlings to gape.

If anyone had told him a thirteen year old was capable of bribing the _Vindice_ with cakes and treats last month, he would have shot them.

Bel blinked under his blond hair. "What the fuck just happened."

* * *

"What the actual _fuck."_

Xanxus was angry. Bar, he was constantly feeling some degree of anger, but nothing compared to the vehement rage he felt at being in this fucking situation and if he could just get his guns, this scum would be nothing but a fucking _ash stain_.

The fact that the fucking trash had an army of robots, the resources for them, and the _Vindice_ on his side did nothing to quell his ire. In fact, it made him angrier. Xanxus had worked for the majority of his _life_ to lead Vongola, had wagered his entire existence on gaining the approval of his fucking scum of a 'father', all for it to end up as nothing but fucking _lies_ and a bunch of permanent scars on his person. And this shitty spoiled scum had the entire thing handed to him on a fucking silver platter and still had the balls to say he didn't want it.

"You know, I'm glad you're not like your brother."

Xanxus froze in his struggle to get out of the goddamn chains. _"What?"_

"Though I guess he's not really your brother, but you were raised together-"

"What the fuck are you saying," Xanxus hissed, red eyes ablaze, even as ice ran down his spine because _there was just no way-_

Tsuna squeaked at the rush of _anger-heat-flame_ (apparently keeping a steady stream of his flames as a comforting presence for those around him made him absurdly sensitive to everyone else's). "It's a good thing!"

The chains smoked against the Varia leader's skin at the sheer pressure of his rage-induced sky flames. "Are you saying that I'm not fucking Vongola enough for the position?! THAT JUST BECAUSE I'M ADOP-"

"No! No, _you idiot_!" Tsuna grabbed the older man's shoulders, ignoring the way their skin sizzled against each other because now _he_ was pissed. "Enrico Vongola wanted so badly to prove he was a suitable heir, that he could make Vongola strong, that he pushed around the smaller families, encroaching on their territory and taking and taking that he was killed in mutiny when they banded together. Massimo Vongola had a superiority complex so bad that his _own_ men decided to risk treason to assassinate him. And Federico Vongola who got everything he had ever wanted as a child, and yet had so much greed, so much _want_ for power that he resorted to human experimentation and paid the price." Orange eyes flickered as they met red ones and Xanxus bared his teeth in a wordless snarl.

"Xanxus Vongola was the _favourite_ as the heir, a genius child and already able to move grown men by the age of twelve. Even if the Ninth Vongola boss hadn't sat on his ass and made no move to quell this favour, and had not even a fraction of empathy to tell you of your _adoption."_ Xanxus jerked but Tsuna persevered. "You would have remained the favourite, would have become the _heir_ and I'd never have to face this mess if it weren't for this _stupid_ need for bloodline inheritance."

 _"LIES!"_ Xanxus spat. "You know fucking noth-" He jerked as a blazing forehead met his violently, migraine flaring instantly a his red-hazed vision swum.

"I," Tsuna said breathlessly, "Tsunayoshi Sawada, heir to the Takarada Company, head of the Yakuza Alliance, and information broker Koukitsu, swear to you, Xanxus de' Vongola, leader of the Independent Assassination Squad, Varia, and future leader of the Vongola that I will find a way to resolve the inheritance and make _you_ the next boss of the Vongola Famiglia."

Xanxus couldn't help it, he gaped, because promises were one thing, but an oath made with a resolve so strong that the brat's flames were _mingling_ with his wrath-tainted ones and tinged with so much _truth-promise-bond_ that it made even the feared Varia leader feel a moment of awe.

Then, he snapped back to reality.

"Are you a fucking _idiot,_ scum? You can't just fucking decide that! Inheritance _does not work that way!_ "

Tsuna shrugged, unrepentant, because Xanxus didn't feel like he was in so much pain anymore and because his head _hurt._ "How hard is your head- ow!"

"Dame-Tsuna, do I even want to know why this room is is peaking at fifty degrees centigrade, why you're straddling Xanxus, and why you're both _half naked_?"

Tsuna tilted his head as he manoeuvred upright, regarding the charred remains of their shirts with a thoughtful frown. "Shōichi needs to improve the flame resistant fabric again." He looked up to see a weird expression on his tutor and Xanxus' face. "What?"

"Was he dropped on his fucking head as a baby?"

Reborn shook his head, expression mockingly morose. "Oh my cute student, why must you be so dense?"

* * *

As solving the Vongola Inheritance was added the the list of main projects that included; curing the Arcobaleno curse and therefore resolving the Vindice's revenge, filtering Byakuran's parallel world ability so he didn't go crazy like a few of his counterparts, and finding Chekerface/The man with the Iron Hat/Kawahira, the Ring Battles never commenced, putting all of the Varia's devious plans down the drain. (Mammon didn't show it, but they were glad. Their best investment versus the exorbitant Varia pay was a hard thing to decide between.)

The ring halves were relinquished to the lab under Bel and Levi's sharp eyes and the Ninth Vongola boss, who'd apparently been kidnapped, was basically dumped in Tsuna's office with nary a fanfare and an uncaring grunt from Xanxus.

Tsuna's brow twitched as the disoriented old man looked around his office, at Tsuna, and then at Xanxus, his eyes widening and full of guilt and remorse. "Xanxus, I-"

"Shut-it, old man." The Varia leader glowered at the brunet's reproving look and expectant raised brow. He huffed. "I... Could have dealt with it better, eight years ago."

Tsuna beamed proudly, for Xanxus that was as good as an apology!

Timoteo seemed to think the same if his surprised expression was anything to go by. "All the same, I should have told you long ago."

Xanxus was so done with with emotional bullshit, even if he felt much calmer than he had in years -granted, he was on ice for the majority of it- due to such simple words. "It happened, there's nothing we can fucking do about it."

"But that doesn't mean you can't get along in the future," Tsuna added in cheerfully.

Timoteo blinked, he must have been really out of it to forget about his next heir. "Tsunayoshi-"

"Ninth, we need to talk." Reborn interrupted, suddenly just there, lounging in Tsuna's fluffy hair.

Tsuna pouted, shuffling the sheets he'd been working on into the 'out' stack. "I wanted to talk to him first."

Reborn turned his black eyes on the brunet. "You just promised Xanxus the seat and didn't go through the ring battles, _someone_ needs to do damage control, Tsunayoshi."

Tsuna winced at his full name. Why was it that his full name sounded so much more intimidating than Reborn's teasing 'Dame-Tsuna's? He took in a deep breath and let his flames wash through the room. "I'm sorry, but this is important."

He turned his glowing orange eyes back to the Ninth Vongola boss. "The one responsible for Federico Vongola's death is me. As such, if the rest of Vongola were to catch wind of this, especially after the spectacle of a funeral you gave him a year ago as a loving and genial son... Well, I have no desire for that, nor the position, as it clashes with a good number of other roles I maintain, so I formally reject the Tenth Vongola boss position."

Timoteo was pale, Xanxus was still and Reborn was livid. "No wonder Shamal and the other Arcobaleno was so guarded against me," the hitman muttered as he recalled the cryptic doctor's actions and words; "I don't think it's a good idea to bring Tsunayoshi to Vongola." Sadness, guilt, and a little bit of anger. "He doesn't deserve it." And Reborn had thought that strange because the doctor obviously didn't hate his student, almost favoured him really, so it didn't make sense why Tsuna, who was already capable of so much, didn't deserve a famiglia as big and proud as Vongola. It didn't make sense unless you looked at it the other way, that Vongola was ruthless, and dangerous, and so obviously _mafia._

Tsuna smiled a sad smile as he reached out to run a finger along Reborn's sideburn. "It's not their fault, that incident was bad for everyone and it took hours with my friends and family to feel no regret for killing him." He hummed, thoughtful. "Actually, they'll probably be pretty angry that I'm facing you all by myself."

"How- why-" Timoteo choked out, and suddenly his flames expanded outward, just as angry as Xanxus had been. "You killed my son! That is _treason."_

Tsuna smiled, strangely calm in the face of a maelstrom of sky flames. "Exactly."

"You-"

"Don't, old man." Xanxus stood between the two, his flames pushing back the oppressing ones of his adopted father's. "Don't make the same fucking mistake again. You haven't even heard the full story."

"That was your _brother!"_

Xanxus took a deep breath, red eyes glowing with restrained anger. "I know- the same brother that was participating in _fucking human experimentation_!"

Reborn started, and turned around to face his student -When had he moved in front of him?- "Is that true?" He demanded sharply, even though he knew the truth, the discrepancies finally lined up and now he knew why so many people's hackles rose at the mere mention of Vongola. He had assumed it was jealousy and a mistaken assumption that he was taking the brunet away but if Federico Vongola had tortured Tsuna, and all these people connected to this Sky _knew_ that, then the somewhat cold reception he'd received made sense. (What he didn't get was the way they mellowed towards him after about two months. (The others were more amazed Reborn lasted that long while in close proximity to Tsuna, but it was really the way the hitman stayed by Tsuna's side despite all the revelations and random incidents of insanity, including the weekly Kitsune-san fanclub chase-down, that cemented their belief in him. Spanner loved Tsuna with all his heart but even he would never willingly poke _those_ crazies with a three mile ruler.))

Timoteo was all but trembling in shock. His son's death as the hands of his next heir was one thing, but to hear that his second youngest, one of the brightest of his sons, was participating in vile acts prior to his death was almost unbelievable. But he was a mafia boss first and foremost -and look where that got him with Xanxus- and old habits died hard. His hands clenched, steady again. He should never have lost his temper like that either.

The Ninth boss of Vongola faced his chosen heir with resolve burning in his old, tired, eyes. "Explain."

* * *

"So, uh, my cute little brother _isn't_ gonna become Vongola Tenth?"

"The Ninth conceded, on the basis that Tsuna could get around the inheritance issue without excluding the Vongola rings."

"Haven't those rings been like that for four centuries though?"

"You're talking about the teen who tutored you in Japanese, and managed to make sure that you addressed him as your 'cute little brother' that you didn't suspect a thing until you came face to face with him in Namimori."

"...right." Dino paused then, hesitatingly. "Are you okay with that outcome?"

Reborn smirked. "Tsuna is the most interesting case I've ever worked with." What he didn't say was the way the brunet had, and continued to treat Reborn like family right from the get go despite all of Reborn's efforts to dispel this deluded view. Maybe it was because the other Arcobaleno had numbed the teen against the weirdness of having what looked like a child in an older position, or it was just all Tsuna and his intuition, so much stronger than the Ninth or Iemitsu's ever was. And if Reborn weren't a little impressed with that stubbornness then he'd be a lesser man, wouldn't he?

Frankly, Reborn was actually half relieved Tsuna may not become Decimo because he didn't have to bring up Guardians, the mess that would cause, considering all the elements around the brunet, would make a massacre look like child's play.

The blond man and his tutor turned to watch as Tsuna screeched and did weird jig while flailing the just attached halves of the Vongola Sky ring around. "W-who?! Hayato, there's a blond ghost who's calling himself my grandpa!"

"What?!" The silveret exclaimed as Bel clicked the Storm halves together.

Tsuna's expression did a one-eighty. "G!" He called cheerfully.

Dino's eyes bugged. "Are they talking about the Vongola first generation?"

Reborn wished he could hit his head against a wall like Lal was doing. Just because he liked the brunet far more than he expected, didn't mean he enjoyed all this bullshit.

"Wow, you look just like an older and blonder Hibari-san! Eh, you want my signature?"

Really, truly.

* * *

With the Vongola First Generation and the Ninth's cooperation, therefore giving them access to the ancient metal smith, Talbot, it didn't take long for them to work out how to get rid of the Arcobaleno curse, and work out a way to get rid of the blood inheritance restriction on the Vongola rings.

"Well... Since you've managed to gather so many strong Flame users, I think you'll be able to return the current Arcobaleno back to their original age _and_ break the curse." Kawahira said, as he slurped up the ramen Tsuna had offered when he appeared.

"Really?" Tsuna blinked.

"Mm, yes. Why if I were re-administering the pacifiers instead, I wouldn't even know who to choose!"

Tsuna backed away from the enigmatic smile the man directed at him. "It's all thanks to you, Tsunayoshi-kun!"

"Okay..."

A bullet whizzed between them. "Don't just agree with creepy men, Dame-Tsuna." Reborn looked irritated.

"Let's just get on with it," Bermuda demanded tersely, looking like he was agreeing with the hitman.

Later, with the curse broken, Reborn cracked his first genuine smile in a decade, in the darkness where no one would see, hogging half of Tsuna's pillow as the rest of his bed was a sea of content sleeping children and animals.

Tsuna would have complained about the full-grown adult now also invading his bed, but it just wasn't worth it.

(Plus, Tsuna had a nagging suspicion that he'd gotten used to Reborn after a year with the hitman, and that sleeping without that dark aura was equivalent to sleeping without anyone in his bed: He wouldn't be able to sleep at all.)

* * *

Staring at the glowing crest at his feet and the double row of people representing the previous eight generations of Vongola bosses, Xanxus had no idea how the fuck this happened.

Well, okay, he wasn't that fucking stupid. The shitty brat had gotten his hands on a vial of blood -after numerous lethal traps comprised of a variety of poisonous gasses, pitfalls, explosives, piranhas, a veritable rabid mongoose, and a fucking hidden base of all things- which apparently was _Primo's_ and proceeded to place the ring in Xanxus' hands before cracking the vial open over the cool metal and scarred calloused palms.

Which bought him to this place.

Xanxus was starting to think this numb shock was a default setting when dealing with the trashy brat, that and the almost irrepressible urge to wring the shrimp's skinny little neck.

It didn't matter anyway.

Wrath flames coated scarred hands as they clenched and unclenched around non-existent guns, red eyes aglow with resolve.

"I don't care about fucking past sins, only that Vongola thrives."

* * *

Apparently, having the ghost of your ancestor attached to you like a koala meant Tsuna was privy to family secrets, namely; how to get rid of that annoying aspect of the Vongola ring that said only those related by blood could bear it. Sure, Tsuna had to bleed for it, and hunt down some centuries old blood hidden in an island that had a surprising amount of security for an abandoned island.

Xanxus kept looking at him funny (and angrily) but he wasn't sure if that was because he kept talking to Giotto or because of the lack of security. (It was a bit of both honestly. If Tsuna hadn't been been insane before, he was certainly now, talking to fucking _air._ And if Xanxus had just a little less pride he would have given in and asked how the fucking scum was breezing through security like triple encrypted passcodes, retina scanners, and metal enforced doors was fucking nothing.)

The ring would forever be in a sealed state, but it wasn't like Xanxus wanted it for the power.

So Tsuna happily dropped his newest friend/big-brother off at Vongola HQ and left him with a Nice Big Hug.

Tsuna winced as he rubbed the subsequent bump on his head while he went back to his own headquarters.

* * *

Apparently, the island hadn't been as abandoned as he had thought.

And Tsuna really wanted to adopt Enma because he was clumsy and so much like Tsuna used to be before his friends, before Shōichi, before his first job delivering newspapers. (And was it any surprise the thought of adoption crossed his mind after Colonnelo, Lal and Mammon?) Not to mention he was fairly certain he was related to Mami, who had the same eyes and deep red locks of hair.

But first, Tsuna turned fascinated eyes on Julie.

Adelheid hesitated in her march to grab Tsuna mostly because even Hayato and Takeshi had edged away from the brunet when he got that look in his eyes.

"Did you know you're possessed?" Tsuna asked breathlessly, blinking his wide eyes.

"Did you know your father _slaughtered_ our parents?!" Aoba demanded, rage flashing through his eyes.

The brunet's brow furrowed. "I know he's a bit of an idiot but he's not that bad." Honey brown eyes bled orange as he gazed at Julie. _"Him_ on the other hand..."

A scythe pierced through the air, almost bisecting the gaudily dressed man if he hadn't jumped back.

Cries of anger rose from the Simon and suddenly Enma stood at the front, red eyes trained on Tsuna's in a fierce glare.

"You and your blood have murdered and stolen from us, as the Tenth boss of the Simon famiglia I cannot let this stand." He said, infinitely steady, a rust red glow erupting in the centre of his forehead.

Tsuna didn't bother pointing out that the vial of Giotto's blood was first stolen from the Vongola. He was mostly trying not to coo like his mother when she saw him indulging the children with hugs and kisses and candy because Enma was ridiculously adorable when he was protective. No wonder his friends were always blushing when he felt particularly defensive for them.

Luckily, Tsuna didn't have to do much because Julie cried out, "that's mine!" In an uncharacteristically sinister voice.

For few moments, looks were exchanged between Julie, who'd suddenly locked his jaw in hand-in-the-cookie-jar horror, and the scythe Tsuna wielded.

Which was just enough time for Tsuna to stick a piece of paper to the man's forehead, the seal on it flashing blindingly as it expelled the ghost possessing Julie.

Unseen to the group sans Tsuna, Giotto shot forward to grapple with his mist guardian as he appeared.

"You idiot, what were you _thinking?"_

"You're a pitiful fool Giotto! The Shimon will only weaken the Vongola!"

Tsuna resolutely ignored the two ghosts wrestling with each other in the dirt as the Shimon gathered around the confused Julie. His intuition tugged at him and he turned to see Kyoko holding Mami's hand. The girl had stopped, red eyes wide with barely repressed hope, joy, and tremulous fear as if she couldn't believe this to be true. Her mouth opened and Tsuna heard her voice for the first time.

_"Brother?"_

Enma froze, and turned, red eyes wide. "Mami?"

Tsuna honestly teared up when the two siblings embraced.

Giotto dusted himself and his scowling mist guardian off proudly, giving his adorable grandson a thumbs up. "How do you feel about a summoning ritual, Tsunayoshi? I think I know someone who can knock more sense into Daemon than I ever could."

Tsuna blinked, and nodded slowly.

* * *

So with the Arcobaleno curse gone, Vongola no longer hovering like some demented lover, Byakuran insisting that, aside from his famiglia, Tsuna was his sanity preserving cure, Shimon moving back with promises to keep in touch -although Enma had looked a little freaked out when Tsuna presented a stack of paperwork to legally make them siblings- and Daemon hiding in his closet from his irate fiancé, Tsuna's life would have gone back to normal in any other world.

In this world, the incidents were actually right on the scale of normalcy for Tsuna and so nothing had really changed since Reborn's entrance to his life except for more friends/family and a weirdly strong bond with a mentor who taught him how to make ice out of his flames, and how to absorb flames, and an exponential increase in his knowledge of firearms and how to avoid them, and the entrance of his birth-father in his life. (Xanxus didn't want him, Tsuna didn't really want him either but at least his mother was happy. And the kids had someone else to play with -although Lambo had never used grenades of that deadly variety when playing with his Tsuna-nii. And Lancia seemed weirdly amused by the man's sobbing over his son hating him.)

Tsuna continued to get into weird situations. He continued making friends. His friends continued to create increasing amounts of havoc and destruction. (Shōichi was starting to see a pattern here. If only Tsuna-san would make friends with _normal_ people, was that too much to ask?!)

By the time Tsuna graduated middle school, Japan's yakuza were either semi-vigilante groups, or eradicated by his zealous friends. He'd made friends with half his assassins, and become good acquaintances with the Japanese government, police, and secret service, and Hibari had decided that it'd be nice to extend his influence into China, to which Fon heartily agreed. Tsuna also confronted Kawahira at some point to demand the man take care of his own damn shop. He ended up with an excitable guy calling himself Wonomichi that _he_ apparently needed to train up to take over. Tsuna cursed Inari, just because the god's foxes favoured Tsuna's inarizushi did _not_ mean they had a right to have petty revenge like this.

By the time Tsuna graduated high school, he had a CV a veteran CEO would be jealous of. It was also a mile long. Xanxus, at some point, kicked down his office door and demanded that he _'stop you fucking prick because at this rate the Vongola won't even have jobs anymore!'_ Tsuna smiled genially and invited the man to stay for a bit. He proceeded to get photos of the man in a nice pink flamingo costume for Alaire to pair with the rest of his guardians. Hibari smirked as the mortified Tenth Vongola boss and his Rain chased his fox over town. Reborn proposed that if mafia life got boring, Xanxus was welcome here, things were never boring around the brunet after all.

It should be said that Tsuna finally revealed himself as the mayor of almost a decade running at this point, and the principal, and no one in Namimori but the dimmest were surprised. It certainly explained the havoc that happened around the brunet daily. Especially as half the town was either an acquaintance or a friend of the brunet at this point. Namimori citizens accepted, as they did all the other strange people that moved to their town, and life went on.

As Reborn predicted, the world was dancing in Tsuna's palm by the time he turned twenty four, running the crime out of organised crime entirely, running a billion dollar multinational industry, writing novels that sold millions of copies in the first day or release, and still bribing the mafia police with sweet treats. Reborn got to tutor a number of runaway heirs, while living the good life of delicious food and divine coffee and the odd hit here or there for some of the worst cases Tsuna couldn't get to, interspersed with random points of insanity (i.e. Tsuna getting some ridiculous job or another. To this day, Reborn remained the only one who could track the brunet down when he managed to shake off the global access of cameras and tracking devices (Spanner's feats in hacking were starting to reach god-like levels, combined with Shoichi they could probably access any electronic device in the _world._ To match this, Tsuna's ability to escape from their watchful eyes were also reaching divine levels),and his friends/family/companions.)

* * *

When Reborn died, decades later, content with his accomplishments and his life, it was to wake up on a couch in a rather modern room of soft maroon in colour, with black furniture, looking much younger than the age he died at.

"Hey, Reborn."

The man blinked at a Tsuna-in-his-twenties standing at the oak door. "I'm dead."

Tsuna tilted his head quizzically. "Yes...?"

"Where is this?"

Tsuna blinked. "Um, Hell? Actually it's more like purgatory, where you get judged first before going anywhere."

"...why are _you_ here?"

"I'm one of the rulers of Hell? Did I forget to tell you that?"

Reborn felt a rather familiar migraine coming. It had been a while since the last one, where Tsuna somehow ended up as the ruler of Denmark. _"Goddamit_ Tsuna."

"Come on!" Tsuna said cheerfully, completely ignoring the man's glower. "I want to show you what Chrome and I set up for Daemon!"

It was a daycare. A _demon_ daycare. Daemon was wearing a cute apron with a bear on it. He was also being bombarded with sulphuric spit bombs that literally burned, horned and fanged children/creatures chasing him around and breathing fire at his long hair, and Elena sitting to the side, cradling a baby Tengu-like creature and giggling at her husband's antics.

Reborn was so proud he actually shed a tear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see this note, then I'm still intending to, or part-way through editing the chapters. (I probably should have done this before posting but I'm really not used AO3, and I may as well get it out there.)
> 
> Anyway, leave a comment on your way out. I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it!


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